Thursday, July 2, 2020

Nursing Student

Nursing student satire

gloves glove

Out of Mediums, Brave Nurse Grabs Small Gloves & Throws Caution to the Wind

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RALEIGH, NC - It's one of the those scary scenarios every health care professional has faced at one time or another in their medical career: The box of latex gloves in your size is...
signout mood graph

New Infographic Depicts the Mood of Two People Signing Out to One Another

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JACKSON HOLE, WY - After observing thousands of signouts over the past 12 months, Gomerblog has constructed a graph depicting the mood of health care professionals depending on their role during the signout process....
chloride

Breaking: Nurse Initiates Lesser-Known Chloride Repletion Protocol

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Nurse Jess Casamento of Ochsner Medical Center is one of the best when it comes to repleting electrolytes: potassium, magnesium, even phosphorus.  Today, however, she took it to another level and...
Wonder Woman tiara

Wonder Woman Throws Boomerang Tiara, Knocks Call Light Out of Evildoer Patient’s Hand

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THEMYSCIRA - After a nurse pleaded for her assistance, Wonder Woman has helped thwart the persistent annoyances of a button-happy patient by using her boomerang tiara to knock the call light out of that...
doctor notes DVT PE

Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds

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ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published in the Mayo Clinic Proceedings found that charting and documentation in an...
thunderstorm

Patient Demands Nurse Change The Weather

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BALTIMORE, MD - Patient Amanda Stanley was having a terrible day: her appendix had ruptured, her hospital gown was unflattering, and she was assigned to a hospital room with a drab view of the...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Finding Hypodermic Needles in a Haystack

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says there is minimal risk associated with the search for a regular needle in a haystack, but that Americans should absolutely draw the line...
Magic 8-Ball

Teaching Team Consults Magic 8-Ball for Assistance

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NEW YORK, NY - "Will my patient need placement?" intern Jamie Dreessen asked the Magic 8-Ball, shaking it solidly for 15-seconds before placing it on the conference room table for all the members of her...
hospital gown ass crack

CDC Recommends Not Tying Gown in Back to Promote Airflow Through Ass Crack

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ATLANTA, GA - After a thorough review of the evidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) will make the formal recommendation that hospital gowns no longer be tied in the back in...
golden bladder award

Hero Nurse Wins the Coveted Golden Bladder Award

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MOUNT CARMEL, PA - Local ER nurse Jada Adams was recently recognized for her uncanny ability to retain large amounts of urine in her bladder for long periods of time.  Jada’s amazing skill came...
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