Sunday, June 6, 2021


swat team elite HIPAA stormtroopers

Entire Hospital IT Department Being Placed into Protective Custody After ‘Upgrading’ EMR

LOS ANGELES, CA - Yesterday evening, Have Mercy On Me Hospital in Los Angeles upgraded their electronic medical record (EMR) and what ensued can only be described as "utter chaos."  The entire hospital campus...
drinking alcohol

After Counseling Patient on Evils of Alcohol Abuse, Medical Team Leaves Work & Gets...

ATLANTA, GA - A multidisciplinary inpatient team at Georgia Medical Center (GMC) spent thirty minutes at bedside warning their patient Doug Johansen of the many evils associated with alcohol abuse: mood disorders, gastritis and...
empathy medical robot

Hospital to Employ Empathy Robots to Allow Nurses and Doctors to Chart

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Tired of being treated like a number at big hospitals?  Mercy Hospital in San Francisco wants to change that and they think they have the answer.  “Here at Mercy Hospital, we...

Hospital Publishes 6 Patient Guidelines: ‘Please Try Not to Confuse Us with a Hotel’

Here at Outside Hospital (OSH), we are 100% committed to your satisfaction as a patient.  To this end, we have created this pamphlet, which contains some tips and advice to guide you in your...
Nursing Pages Per Shift

New Study: Physician Douche Level Correlates With Number Of Nursing Pages Per Shift

HARTFORD, CT - A new study published in JAMA this week demonstrated a direct correlation between the physician douche level (PDL) and and the number of nursing pages per shift (PPS). The PDL was calculated from asking 7,528...
hospital patient

21 Tips for Patients on How to Be Good Patients: From Health Care Professionals

Ok, it is time to be brutally honest to our patients.  As health care professionals, we want to take amazing care of them.  We want them to heal.  We want them to feel better....

Emergency Departments Implement New Triage Form to Screen Patients for Actual Disease

NEW YORK, NY - Myocardial infarction, subarachnoid hemorrhage, sepsis, diabetic ketoacidosis: these are examples of what the medical community regards as "real diseases."  Unfortunately, our nation's emergency department doctors and nurses are plagued with...
call button nursing lockout interval

Amazing Survival Story: Patient Lives by Pressing Call Light 46 Times in a One...

AUSTIN, TX - 56-year-old patient, Andrew Whitestack, is being credited with saving his own life by pushing the nursing call light button 46 times in one hour.  Consultants and attorneys reviewing his case have...

Report: Nurse on 3rd Floor Excited to Give 0.1 mg of Dilaudid

CHICAGO, IL – Local nurse Melissa Jacobson’s shift just got better when she noticed what was written for pain medication on her patient. “Oh, Boy!  0.1 mg, I can hardly wait.  Goodbye, pain,” chimed...

Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System

NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the old electronic health record (EHR) will be replaced with a...