Monday, September 21, 2020

Nursing

angry patient

Massachusetts Hospitals to Restrict “A**hole to Nurse” Ratio

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BOSTON, MA - Although a ballot question proposing stricter nurse-to-patient ratios was defeated in the Massachusetts midterm elections in November, hospitals are taking initiative by addressing a more sinister problem: the asshole-to-nurse ratio. Dr. Ivory...

Nasogastric Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts Recommended for Children Who Refuse to Eat Vegetables

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With parents struggling to get their kids to eat their vegetables, some doctors have developed a new workaround. “We used to just use nasogastric (NG) tubes for our patients who couldn’t swallow safely,” said Pediatrician...

Neonatal Falls on the Rise

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A recent report in a major peer reviewed medical journal (then poorly summarized in an advertisement laden medical bulletin email) has uncovered yet another disturbing sign of the growing disconnect between America's youth and...
turkey sandwich haldol diets

Ultra Breaking News: Patient Doesn’t Want Turkey Sandwich

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NORFOLK, VA - Gomerblog brings you a startling development: A patient hospitalized at an area hospital in Norfolk has caught his inpatient medical team off guard by stating he doesn't want a turkey sandwich...

Massachusetts Physician Now 8 Feet Tall Thanks to 80 Physician Extenders!

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NEWTON, MA – Dr. Joe Sefrusso was one of the smaller kids in his neighborhood growing up, always picked last for pickup basketball games. Through his medical school and residency training, he continued to...

Medical Student Draws Blood for the First Time, Prefers Using Markers Over Crayon

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In a rural hospital in West Virginia, Vance Agarwal a fourth year medical student nearing the end of a rural medicine elective had the opportunity to draw blood for the first time. Under the...

Massachusetts Nurses Union Urges Mandatory 3 Nurses to 1 Patient Ratio to Boost Lagging...

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BOSTON, MA – When Massachusetts voters head to the polls next week, the first question they will face is whether or not to initiate mandatory nurse:patient ratios. It’s literally called “Question 1” because apparently...

NP’s Now Able to Open Aesthetic Centers Without Physician Supervision in 23 States

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BOCA RATON, FL - With the recent legislative changes in several states, a total of 23 states now allow Nurse Practitioners to practice without physician supervision.  The initial hopes of states and the claims of Nurse...

Need to Renew Your ACLS? New Interactive Code Blue Simulator, ‘Resusci-A**hole,’ Yells Obscenities...

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It’s that time again. Time for you to buck up and go get your ACLS renewed before it expires. Everyone knows that after a certain number of years in the medical field, renewing ones...
moonupping sundowning

Sundowning to be Referred to as Moonupping from Hereonin

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LOS ANGELES, CA - The American Academy of Naming Medical Things (AANMT) has issued a mandated that sundowning will now be referred to as moonupping until further notice.  The terminology switch is effective at...
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