African Child Tragically Unaware He Has ‘Marker Negative Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder’
MAUN, BOTSWANA - A desperately impoverished 6-year-old boy in Sub-Saharan Africa lacks the access to medical care which could properly diagnose his "Marker Negative Mixed-Connective Tissue Disorder" (MNMCTD).
Baruti Bakone spends most of his days...
Citing Health Benefits, New Parents Eating Umbilical Cord Stumps
“From the moment I gazed into Andromeda’s perfect eyes, I knew I wanted only the best for her,” says new mom Rochelle Wilson. “Her umbilical cord nourished her from the beginning, selflessly providing life...
Medical Specialties as Disney Characters
Anesthesia - Rafiki from The Lion King. Most of the rest of us have no clue what the hell you are doing with all the beeps and knobs and when we look it never...
American Academy of Pediatrics Increase Recommended Age for Car Seats to 17
PHILADELPHIA, PA – New recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), printed in this month's issue of Pediatrics, will further change the way many parents secure their children in their cars. "We've determined...
Jimmy Kimmel and Real Doctors Preach on Getting Vaccines
Another reason to get your kids vaccinated
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgpfNScEd3M
Ophtho Emergently Consulted to Reattach Mr. Potato Head’s Eyes
BROOKLYN, NY - Emergency room physicians at Maimonides Medical Center did not waste any time consulting ophthalmology to restore the vision of Mr. Potato Head after he presented earlier today with a chief complaint...
Surgery Residents Bring Other MDs to Work for a Day
5:00 am: Arrive at hospital.
Peds and Psych are borderline comatose still. Medicine seems confused to find that the hospital lights work this early in the day.
Anesthesia is saying that he’s already hungry.
Radiology is running...
NICU Patient Graduates High School
ST. LOUIS, MO – It’s a special occasion in the life of J’ramyah Boba Fett, as he overcomes the odds stacked against him by his mutant NICU name and graduates not only from the...
Newborn Nursery’s Infant Capacity Increases 50% by Hiring Former Tetris Champion
ATLANTA, GA – The Newborn Nursery at Swedish Covenant Hospital has seen a dramatic increase in their patient capacity after hiring a former Tetris champion to maximize placement of babies. Stephen Glasgow, who from...
CDC Reminder: ‘Sleep Tight and Definitely Do Not Let the Bed Bugs Bite’
ATLANTA, GA - Tonight, shortly after reading the public a bedtime story, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) wanted to say "Good night!" and issue a reminder to all Americans to "sleep tight,...
