Newborn Nursery’s Infant Capacity Increases 50% by Hiring Former Tetris Champion
ATLANTA, GA – The Newborn Nursery at Swedish Covenant Hospital has seen a dramatic increase in their patient capacity after hiring a former Tetris...
Cheetos for Pediatric Abdominal Pain Better Than Zofran, Phenergan
DALLAS, TX - A recent study in Totally Peer Reviewed (TPR) shows that in acute abdominal pain, Cheetos not only treat, but in many...
After Seeing 22 Patients in 90 Minutes, Area Pediatrician Rehearses for Her Eventual Last...
“I thought about running directly into traffic,” says Dr. Jane Smith of her state of mind after seeing 22 walk-in patients in 90 minutes....
Sweet Tooth Identified: Dentists Localize to Tooth 32
HERSHEY, PA - After an exhaustive search spanning decades, the nation’s leading dentists have finally identified the ever-elusive sweet tooth, localizing it to Tooth 32...
Maternity Wards Stockpile Billions of Diapers to Prepare for Onslaught of Pandemic Babies
NEW YORK, NY—Not wanting to get caught with egg on their faces or poop in their hands, maternity wards throughout New York City have...
After 9 Head Trauma Calls, The Doctor is ‘Furious’
BATTLE CREEK, MI – Family doctor, William Turncoat, was visibly upset after slamming the phone down. "That’s the ninth time today I’ve told her… I tell...
CDC Plans to Move and Quarantine Unvaccinated Families
ATLANTA, GA - In a move that is sure to spark controversy and protest, the CDC released Proposition 23.4 yesterday which grants state governments the...
Study: 4th Graders with Google Better Doctors Than 96% of New Medical Student Graduates
BIRMINGHAM, AL - A new study published last week in Barney and Friends magazine revealed that 4th graders, if given a computer with internet search access, were...
Local Children Against Vaccinations Despite the Evidence
ATLANTA, GA – A growing trend is occurring among children across the nation: the rejection of vaccines. It has been well documented that some...
Citing Health Benefits, New Parents Eating Umbilical Cord Stumps
“From the moment I gazed into Andromeda’s perfect eyes, I knew I wanted only the best for her,” says new mom Rochelle Wilson. “Her...