Pediatrics

Code Brown Forces Hospital Evacuation; SWAT and FBI Called In

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LOS ANGELES, CA - A local medical center was evacuated this morning after a Code Brown in the pediatric wing of the hospital quickly...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Plans to Move and Quarantine Unvaccinated Families

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ATLANTA, GA - In a move that is sure to spark controversy and protest, the CDC released Proposition 23.4 yesterday which grants state governments the...
childhood obesity

New Product Release: Pediatric Power Chair for Morbidly Obese Children

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WHITE PLAINS, NY - In a shrewd but brilliant marketing move last week, Hoveranywhere announced plans to sell thousands of "smaller-sized" pediatric power chairs. The chairs are...

Medical Specialties as Game of Thrones Characters

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As all medical specialties try to gain control of the hospital, we've narrowed down who their characters are: Cardiology, you poor tortured soul with a...

Pediatrician About to Call Surgery to Lay Hands on Another Punky-Looking Kiddo

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2AM, KNOXVILLE, TN - According to seventh floor pediatrics ward sources, local pediatrician and hospitalist Dr. Jerry Dirkins is about to call for another...
airplane

Newborn Delivered at 35,000 Feet: A Doctor’s Perspective

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SOMEWHERE OVER HOBOKEN, NJ – It’s amazing how there is always a doctor around when you need one.  Hardly 200 miles into my flight...
Cookie Monster Sexy Bod

Looking Hot! Cookie Monster Shows Off New Sexy Bod After Trading in Cookies for...

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JUST WEST OF SESAME STREET - Holy sexiness, Batman!  So much has been happening in the news recently that it's hard to lose sight...
elderly patient

Elderly Man Admitted with MI Requests Pediatrics Consult

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ORLANDO, FL—Bobby Kidman, an elderly man admitted to the hospital today with a suspected myocardial infarction bizarrely rejected a cardiology consultation and instead requested...
graham crackers

97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets

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BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...

Hospital Approves Giving Parents Medication Before Children’s Surgery

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HOUSTON, TX - Last week, Children's General Hospital approved a new medication protocol to assist children undergoing surgical procedures.  Anxiolytic medication, such as midazolam,...