Pediatrics

mother giving medical advice

Random Mom in Hospital Telling Everybody to Sit Up Straight & Eat Their Vegetables

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ATLANTA, GA - “COME ON, SIT UP STRAIGHT!!!” ordered a random Mom hanging around the floors of Georgia Medical Center (GMC).  “KEEP SLOUCHING LIKE...

Sweet Tooth Identified: Dentists Localize to Tooth 32

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HERSHEY, PA - After an exhaustive search spanning decades, the nation’s leading dentists have finally identified the ever-elusive sweet tooth, localizing it to Tooth 32...
hospital emergency room boarding

‘Twas the Night After Christmas

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'Twas the Night After Christmas ‘Twas the night after Christmas, at the front of the house, The parents were lined up, all running their mouths. Neb tubing...

Lawless Family Boldly Sits in “Well” Section of Pediatric Waiting Room Despite Kids Clearly...

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CHEVY CHASE, MD—Shameless. Ballsy. Chutzpah. These are some of the words being used to describe a family that had the audacity to sit in...
Shkreli & Bresch

Breaking: Martin Shkreli & Heather Bresch Are A**holes

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NEW YORK, NY - In a candid interview on CBS News yesterday, Martin Shkreli admitted that "Yes, Heather Bresch and I are a**holes."  Mylan...

Paediatricians Add An “A” To Specialty In Attempt To Improve Earning Potential

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ORLANDO, FL - In his opening remarks at the American Academy of Paediatrics annual meeting AAP President, Dr. Kyle Yasuda, announced that the specialty...
crying infant

Crying Baby Really Trying to Say ‘I Hate You!’

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NEW HAVEN, CT – A new study just published in Pediatrics this month demonstrated that countless parent’s suspicions and anxieties were absolutely correct: When infants cry,...
mother researching vaccines

Mother Does Research, Chooses Not to Vaccinate

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JACKSONVILLE, FL – Local mother of two children, Denise Jacobson has decided after much research that she will not vaccinate her children.  “Research is...

Parent Uses Landmark Paper ‘No Difference in Scrape Healing Placebo Vs. Band-Aid’ Without Success

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OMAHA, NE - Local resident Amy Shoemaker has tried to inform her children over and over that Band-Aids applied to only superficial wounds make...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Breaking: CDC Warns of Cooties Outbreak in Children

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ATLANTA, GA - Parents pay close attention: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a new warning to the American public against...