Maternity Wards Stockpile Billions of Diapers to Prepare for Onslaught of Pandemic Babies
NEW YORK, NY—Not wanting to get caught with egg on their faces or poop in their hands, maternity wards throughout New York City have...
Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...
Toddler Goldfish and Ketchup Diet Somehow Working
MASSACHUSETTS - A new study just released last week in the journal Nutrition demonstrated that the toddler goldfish and ketchup diet is somehow working; they just...
New Apgar(t) Score to Check Troponins 1 & 5 Minutes After Birth
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) is modifying the Apgar score to an Apgar(t) score in which troponins will...
Anti-Vaxxers Uncertain How to Feel About New Autism Vaccine
"If there is a vaccine that big pharma claims will prevent autism, its probably a super double secret way to giving even more kids autism so they can sell more medications to treat autism because they're all a part of big autism!"
What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 2
This is a continuation from our first post: What "Thank You for the Interesting Consult" Really Means, Part 1. Let’s go!
Nutrition
Translation: Like it or...
Random Mom in Hospital Telling Everybody to Sit Up Straight & Eat Their Vegetables
ATLANTA, GA - “COME ON, SIT UP STRAIGHT!!!” ordered a random Mom hanging around the floors of Georgia Medical Center (GMC). “KEEP SLOUCHING LIKE...
Breaking: Reports Emerge About An Uneventful MMR Vaccination
ROCHESTER, NY - In what was internationally hailed as a medical first, doctors at Mount Saint Mary Mercy Hospital announced they are confident a...
Study Finds Puppies, Ice Cream, New Toys Associated with Immediate Cessation of Pediatric Pseudoseizures
PORTLAND, OR – Researches at the Triarbridge Pediatric Medical Center in North Portland reported recent findings today from their groundbreaking study which found pediatric...
CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe
ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened. "We need to have the...