Pediatrics

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Breaking: CDC Warns of Cooties Outbreak in Children

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ATLANTA, GA - Parents pay close attention: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a new warning to the American public against...
APGAR 10 Apgart Apgar(t) troponin troponins

New Apgar(t) Score to Check Troponins 1 & 5 Minutes After Birth

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) is modifying the Apgar score to an Apgar(t) score in which troponins will...
doctor notes DVT PE

Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds

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ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published...
doctor dreaming

After Seeing 22 Patients in 90 Minutes, Area Pediatrician Rehearses for Her Eventual Last...

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“I thought about running directly into traffic,” says Dr. Jane Smith of her state of mind after seeing 22 walk-in patients in 90 minutes....
Instant Pot

Mother More Emotionally Attached to Instant Pot Than Newborn Baby

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AUSTIN, TX - Gomerblog has learned that Jenna Barley, a first-time mother who gave birth to a beautiful young baby girl just two weeks...

Product Review: Heartbeats by Dr. Dre Stethoscopes

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Pros / The bass on these Heartbeats by Dr. Dre stethoscopes are SICK!  Besides, who wouldn't want a bluetooth stethoscope blessed by Dr. Dre? Cons / You...
pregnancy

Vaccinations Now Definitively Linked to Pregnancy

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BOSTON, MA - A new study just published in the Old England Journal of Medicine now definitively links childhood vaccinations to pregnancy. Jenny McCarthy,...

La Leche League Busted for Trafficking Cocaine in Confiscated Similac Containers

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CHICAGO, IL - Yesterday, the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) announced that it is making hundreds of arrests after blowing the flexible, Frisbee-style lid off...

Hospitals Now Joining Black Friday Frenzy

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NEW YORK, NY - Black Friday is hitting America very soon.  Stores are now opening their doors almost immediately after millions of Americans finish off eating...

American Academy of Pediatrics Admits That Children Really Are Little Adults

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WASHINGTON, DC - A year-long undercover investigation into the American Academy of Pediatrics’ claim that pediatric patient management was distinct from that of adults has...