Local Mom Meets Fellow Anti-Vaxxer at Botox Clinic
CHARLOTTE, NC - Charlotte mom Sarah Catherine Murdoch, 34, was delighted to make a new friend after striking up a conversation with another patron...
100-Year-Old Finally Ready for Discharge from NICU
CENTENNIAL, CO—Yesterday, a 1200-month-old newborn, Sandy Genarian, was finally discharged from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of Centennial Medical Center, where he has been...
Physician Still Hasn’t Received Her Big-Pharma Payout
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Newly-minted attending physician, Dr. Lindsay Moliarty, has a pile of bills to pay: $200,000 in student loans that has accrued...
CDC Recommends IV Dilaudid to Treat Foot Pain Caused by Stepping on a Stray...
ATLANTA, GA - Finally acknowledging it as the most painful thing a human being can ever experience, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)...
Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System
NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...
Vaccines Cause Children to Love Minecraft
It really couldn’t be more obvious, just look around. We NEVER saw a child playing Minecraft when I was growing up, never. Now it’s...
Looking Hot! Cookie Monster Shows Off New Sexy Bod After Trading in Cookies for...
JUST WEST OF SESAME STREET - Holy sexiness, Batman! So much has been happening in the news recently that it's hard to lose sight...
La Leche League Busted for Trafficking Cocaine in Confiscated Similac Containers
CHICAGO, IL - Yesterday, the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) announced that it is making hundreds of arrests after blowing the flexible, Frisbee-style lid off...
Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...
ChooseMyPlate.gov Updates Plate Portions for Nurses, Docs
WASHINGTON, DC - The USDA website ChooseMyPlate.gov has updated its plate for all hospital personnel to remind them that while finding your healthy eating...