FDA Approves OxyContin for Kids Tall Enough to Get on This Ride
PHARM WATER KINGDOM, FL - Acknowledging the importance for safe medicine in children, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently approved the potent painkiller OxyContin...
Pediatrician About to Call Surgery to Lay Hands on Another Punky-Looking Kiddo
2AM, KNOXVILLE, TN - According to seventh floor pediatrics ward sources, local pediatrician and hospitalist Dr. Jerry Dirkins is about to call for another...
Nasogastric Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts Recommended for Children Who Refuse to Eat Vegetables
With parents struggling to get their kids to eat their vegetables, some doctors have developed a new workaround.
“We used to just use nasogastric (NG)...
Vaccines Cause Children to Love Minecraft
It really couldn’t be more obvious, just look around. We NEVER saw a child playing Minecraft when I was growing up, never. Now it’s...
Local Children Against Vaccinations Despite the Evidence
ATLANTA, GA – A growing trend is occurring among children across the nation: the rejection of vaccines. It has been well documented that some...
Anti-Vaxxers Uncertain How to Feel About New Autism Vaccine
"If there is a vaccine that big pharma claims will prevent autism, its probably a super double secret way to giving even more kids autism so they can sell more medications to treat autism because they're all a part of big autism!"
Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...
97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets
BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...
Mother Does Research, Chooses Not to Vaccinate
JACKSONVILLE, FL – Local mother of two children, Denise Jacobson has decided after much research that she will not vaccinate her children. “Research is...
Veterinarians to Care for Children
DES MOINES, IA - Citing the growing shortage of pediatricians and family medicine doctors in rural areas, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) is set...