Pediatrics

Vaping Company Denies New Breastmilk-Flavored E-Cigarette Targets Newborn

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SEATTLE, WA—A Seattle-based vaping company has been forced into damage control amidst claims that its new e-cigarette targets newborns. The basis for the claims...

Diaper Blowout Grading Scale Released by AAP

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WASHINGTON, DC - The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the American Nursing Association (ANA) sponsored: Multidisciplinary Diaper Change Task Force released a consensus...
sonogram

Beyoncé’s 3-Month Sonogram Reveals Twins Harmonizing In Womb

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NEW YORK, NY - Speaking after a routine visit to the pop sensation's obstetrician, Beyoncé's agent confirmed to the press that the most recent...

Prior Authorization Now Requires Prior Authorization

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WASHINGTON, DC - Prior authorization - the time-sink, inefficient, and soul-sucking process used by health insurance agencies to determine and eventually deny coverage for...
mother giving medical advice

Random Mom in Hospital Telling Everybody to Sit Up Straight & Eat Their Vegetables

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ATLANTA, GA - “COME ON, SIT UP STRAIGHT!!!” ordered a random Mom hanging around the floors of Georgia Medical Center (GMC).  “KEEP SLOUCHING LIKE...
Rand Paul

Rand Paul’s Medical Credibility Lowered to Jenny McCarthy’s Level

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KENTUCKY - In a shocking statement released today by Rand Paul, a well-respected Kentucky senator and ophthalmologist, he believes vaccines can lead to "mental...

Medical Professions as NFL Teams

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Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.   Orthopaedics are the...
mother researching vaccines

Mother Does Research, Chooses Not to Vaccinate

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JACKSONVILLE, FL – Local mother of two children, Denise Jacobson has decided after much research that she will not vaccinate her children.  “Research is...

Vaccines Cause Children to Love Minecraft

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It really couldn’t be more obvious, just look around.  We NEVER saw a child playing Minecraft when I was growing up, never.  Now it’s...