Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections. For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
100-Year-Old Finally Ready for Discharge from NICU
CENTENNIAL, CO—Yesterday, a 1200-month-old newborn, Sandy Genarian, was finally discharged from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of Centennial Medical Center, where he has been...
Doctor Finds New Life As A Clown More Fulfilling
Pediatrician Jim Smith is thrilled with his new career as a professional Clown. He specializes in children’s birthday parties but has the skill set...
Rand Paul’s Medical Credibility Lowered to Jenny McCarthy’s Level
KENTUCKY - In a shocking statement released today by Rand Paul, a well-respected Kentucky senator and ophthalmologist, he believes vaccines can lead to "mental...
CDC Reminder: ‘Sleep Tight and Definitely Do Not Let the Bed Bugs Bite’
ATLANTA, GA - Tonight, shortly after reading the public a bedtime story, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) wanted to say "Good night!"...
Startling Report: CDC Recommends Against Vaccinations, Anti-Vaxxers Now Demanding Their Right to Vaccinate
ATLANTA, GA - After a funding change, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) completed a meta-analysis using super statistical procedures and skewed...
Pediatric Community Stunned When Patient Brings Back Vanderbilt Forms for ADHD Evaluation
LECOMA, MO - After being seen in the clinic about a week ago for chronic behavioral outburst, a local 9-year-old boy and his parents...
Random Mom in Hospital Telling Everybody to Sit Up Straight & Eat Their Vegetables
ATLANTA, GA - “COME ON, SIT UP STRAIGHT!!!” ordered a random Mom hanging around the floors of Georgia Medical Center (GMC). “KEEP SLOUCHING LIKE...
Surgeon General: Generation of Adults, Unwisely Formula-Fed as Infants, Should Start Getting Breastfed Now
WASHINGTON, DC—Mrs. Beaumont came home early one day last week and walked in on her 50-year-old husband sucking on the nipple of a gorgeous...