Pediatrics

pediatric tantrum

Pediatric Resident Refuses to Relinquish Caught Nose‏

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HOUSTON, TX- A 12-hour stand-off with law enforcement involvement took place today at the outpatient pediatric clinic at Texas Children's Hospital. In what appears...

Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System

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NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...
clown doctor

Doctor Finds New Life As A Clown More Fulfilling

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Pediatrician Jim Smith is thrilled with his new career as a professional Clown. He specializes in children’s birthday parties but has the skill set...
vaccines

Jimmy Kimmel and Real Doctors Preach on Getting Vaccines

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Another reason to get your kids vaccinated https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgpfNScEd3M
measles infection

Dr. House of Cards: Magna Cum Measles

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ZDoggMD stars in Dr. House of Cards, Magna Cum Measles.  Looks like little Timmy will be getting his MMR vaccine afterall. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-sW_wZoAFk  
mosquito

ToRCHeS Mnemonic Unsure How to Handle New Zika Virus

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For decades the ToRCHeS mnemonic (Toxoplasma, Rubella, Cytomegalovirus, HIV, Herpes, Syphilis) was the saving grace of every medical, nursing, biology, virology, pharmacology, zoology and frenology...
Shkreli & Bresch

Breaking: Martin Shkreli & Heather Bresch Are A**holes

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NEW YORK, NY - In a candid interview on CBS News yesterday, Martin Shkreli admitted that "Yes, Heather Bresch and I are a**holes."  Mylan...
narcan fentanyl nipple

Narconipple Implant Helps Add Opioids to Breastfeeding

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SEATTLE, WA - Narconipple Inc. is pleased to introduce its revolutionary patented product, the Fentanypple.  The Fentanypple is a narcotic breast implant that delivers...
joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
anti vaccine brain

Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered

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Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers).  Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations.  Environmental...