Pediatrics

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

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ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

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If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and...
Instant Pot

Mother More Emotionally Attached to Instant Pot Than Newborn Baby

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AUSTIN, TX - Gomerblog has learned that Jenna Barley, a first-time mother who gave birth to a beautiful young baby girl just two weeks...
Shkreli & Bresch

Breaking: Martin Shkreli & Heather Bresch Are A**holes

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NEW YORK, NY - In a candid interview on CBS News yesterday, Martin Shkreli admitted that "Yes, Heather Bresch and I are a**holes."  Mylan...
hats

How Many Different Hats Can a Medical Provider Wear?

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It's not uncommon in modern medicine for any given health care provider, whether it's a nurse, PA, or doctor, to have multiple roles or...

Children’s Book Review: Grace & Chase Tackle Acid-Base

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Pros / This book is a colorful, lyrical, and fun read for precocious infants, toddlers, and children with an interest in acid-base disorders. Cons /...
doctor updating

What Your Doctor or Nurse Means When They Say Your Loved One is ‘Doing...

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The devil is in the details and, for patients and family members, those details can be hard to squeeze out of those shifty doctors...
disney requires vaccinations

Disney Parks Now Require Immunization Record for Admittance

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ORLANDO, FL - In a bold and unprecedented response to the recent measles outbreak at Disneyland, Disney execs announced yesterday that they will institute...

Vaccines Cause Children to Love Minecraft

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It really couldn’t be more obvious, just look around.  We NEVER saw a child playing Minecraft when I was growing up, never.  Now it’s...
doc

Doc McStuffins Forced to Resign Due to Dismal Patient Satisfaction Scores

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ORLANDO, FL - Children across America are devastated after news broke today that Doc McStuffins will not be asked back for another season.  Disney...