Pediatrics

childhood obesity

New Product Release: Pediatric Power Chair for Morbidly Obese Children

11
WHITE PLAINS, NY - In a shrewd but brilliant marketing move last week, Hoveranywhere announced plans to sell thousands of "smaller-sized" pediatric power chairs. The chairs are...

Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies

0
ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency."  They are coming off of...

New Study Shows Father’s Breast Milk Improves Babies’ Intelligence over Mother’s Breast Milk

1
DENVER, CO – AstraZeneca recently announced that its new drug, Milkaman, was approved by the FDA for male breastfeeding.  This novel drug causes pectoral muscle cells in...
hats

How Many Different Hats Can a Medical Provider Wear?

0
It's not uncommon in modern medicine for any given health care provider, whether it's a nurse, PA, or doctor, to have multiple roles or...
doc

Doc McStuffins Forced to Resign Due to Dismal Patient Satisfaction Scores

36
ORLANDO, FL - Children across America are devastated after news broke today that Doc McStuffins will not be asked back for another season.  Disney...
family eating

Hand Sanitizers with Mom’s Saliva: What You Need to Know

11
ATLANTA, GA - It is generally accepted that hand-washing with soap and water is the best way to reduce microbes and avoid infections.  Hand...

Local Mom Decides Against New Brake Pads

2
MICHIGAN - Local mom, Jennifer Leeders, brought in her Acura MDX for its annual maintenance.  Her mechanic recommended new brake pads, a routine recommendation....
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

0
ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

0
If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and...
crying hospital

Breaking: First Batch of Crying July 1st Interns Spotted

0
ATHENS, GA - In breaking news to GomerBlog, the first batch of crying July 1st interns were spotted in a rarely used stairwell at...