Psychic Hired to Read Patients’ Minds, Doctor Visit Time Reduced
BATON ROUGE, LA -- Do you think doctors ask weird questions—like “Do you have any problems with your kidneys?” Or ones that are hard...
FDA Approves OxyContin for Kids Tall Enough to Get on This Ride
PHARM WATER KINGDOM, FL - Acknowledging the importance for safe medicine in children, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently approved the potent painkiller OxyContin...
Genetics Professor Uses Students as Examples During Dysmorphology Lecture
“As future physicians, it’s absolutely essential for you to be able to recognize features of genetic disorders in your patients,” Dr. Lena Lombardo stated,...
La Leche League Busted for Trafficking Cocaine in Confiscated Similac Containers
CHICAGO, IL - Yesterday, the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) announced that it is making hundreds of arrests after blowing the flexible, Frisbee-style lid off...
Hospital Approves Giving Parents Medication Before Children’s Surgery
HOUSTON, TX - Last week, Children's General Hospital approved a new medication protocol to assist children undergoing surgical procedures. Anxiolytic medication, such as midazolam,...
Top 5 Medical Practices of 2016
The list is out, the critics have weighed in, and of course a list was generated. The TOP MEDICAL PRACTICES of 2016 are here....
Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered
Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers). Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations. Environmental...
100-Year-Old Finally Ready for Discharge from NICU
CENTENNIAL, CO—Yesterday, a 1200-month-old newborn, Sandy Genarian, was finally discharged from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of Centennial Medical Center, where he has been...
Ophtho Emergently Consulted to Reattach Mr. Potato Head’s Eyes
BROOKLYN, NY - Emergency room physicians at Maimonides Medical Center did not waste any time consulting ophthalmology to restore the vision of Mr. Potato...
Bickering Chiefs of Medicine & Surgery Sent to the Principal’s Office, Yet Again
BOSTON, MA - In developing news at Boston Health & Science University, 51-year-old Chief of Medicine Kyle Jones and 53-year-old Chief of Surgery Maya...