FDA Approves OxyContin for Kids Tall Enough to Get on This Ride
PHARM WATER KINGDOM, FL - Acknowledging the importance for safe medicine in children, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently approved the potent painkiller OxyContin...
Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters
Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...
Vaccines Cause Children to Love Minecraft
It really couldn’t be more obvious, just look around. We NEVER saw a child playing Minecraft when I was growing up, never. Now it’s...
New Product Release: Pediatric Power Chair for Morbidly Obese Children
WHITE PLAINS, NY - In a shrewd but brilliant marketing move last week, Hoveranywhere announced plans to sell thousands of "smaller-sized" pediatric power chairs.
The chairs are...
Pediatrician About to Call Surgery to Lay Hands on Another Punky-Looking Kiddo
2AM, KNOXVILLE, TN - According to seventh floor pediatrics ward sources, local pediatrician and hospitalist Dr. Jerry Dirkins is about to call for another...
Surgeon General: Generation of Adults, Unwisely Formula-Fed as Infants, Should Start Getting Breastfed Now
WASHINGTON, DC—Mrs. Beaumont came home early one day last week and walked in on her 50-year-old husband sucking on the nipple of a gorgeous...
Breaking: Reports Emerge About An Uneventful MMR Vaccination
ROCHESTER, NY - In what was internationally hailed as a medical first, doctors at Mount Saint Mary Mercy Hospital announced they are confident a...
Doc McStuffins Caught Sleeping with Lambie, License Suspended
SACRAMENTO, CA - The Medical Board of California suspended the license of Dottie "Doc" McStuffins after allegations arose that she conducted an inappropriate relationship with...
Hospital Approves Giving Parents Medication Before Children’s Surgery
HOUSTON, TX - Last week, Children's General Hospital approved a new medication protocol to assist children undergoing surgical procedures. Anxiolytic medication, such as midazolam,...
How Many Different Hats Can a Medical Provider Wear?
It's not uncommon in modern medicine for any given health care provider, whether it's a nurse, PA, or doctor, to have multiple roles or...