Pediatrics

umbilical stump

Citing Health Benefits, New Parents Eating Umbilical Cord Stumps

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“From the moment I gazed into Andromeda’s perfect eyes, I knew I wanted only the best for her,” says new mom Rochelle Wilson. “Her...

Pediatric Residents in Uproar as Hospital Bans Highlighters

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In a landmark move, the Children’s Hospital has banned the use of highlighters on hospital premises leading to enraged pediatric residents. In their anger,...
preschool

Preschool Teacher & Physician-Mom Have Differing Medical Opinions

Dr. Linda Richman received the dreaded phone call from her 4 year-old daughter’s preschool a mere 15 minutes after the 9 AM drop-off by...

Antibiotic Combination Pill Approved for All Pediatric Infections

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WASHINGTON, DC - Vancolinezodoxycillimyciflagylnox, brand named "Cureall," a combination pill developed by Amalgamated Pharmaceuticals containing all known oral antibiotics, was approved yesterday for pediatric infections...
lightsaber

Vader Pharmaceuticals Introduces New EpiLightsaber for Anaphylaxis

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DEATH STAR II - In response to the growing prevalence of food allergies among employees of the evil Galactic Empire, Vader Pharmaceuticals have announced...

Mutated Pediatric Names Linked to Higher Mortality

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ATLANTA, GA - The lead article in this month’s Journal of Pediatric Critical Care started with a few simple observations. "I had two patients in...
graham crackers

97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets

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BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...
boxing gloves

Bickering Chiefs of Medicine & Surgery Sent to the Principal’s Office, Yet Again

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BOSTON, MA - In developing news at Boston Health & Science University, 51-year-old Chief of Medicine Kyle Jones and 53-year-old Chief of Surgery Maya...
crying hospital

Breaking: First Batch of Crying July 1st Interns Spotted

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ATHENS, GA - In breaking news to GomerBlog, the first batch of crying July 1st interns were spotted in a rarely used stairwell at...
upset mother

Mother Furious With OB Nurse Who Mispronounced Her Baby’s Name

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PORTLAND, OR - "Simply Outrageous!"  Those were comments on a patient survey card by a mother regarding an OB nurse at Mercy Care Hospital yesterday on the 6th floor. ...