Pediatrics

Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean

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Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life...

ChooseMyPlate.gov Updates Plate Portions for Nurses, Docs

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WASHINGTON, DC - The USDA website ChooseMyPlate.gov has updated its plate for all hospital personnel to remind them that while finding your healthy eating...

Vaping Company Denies New Breastmilk-Flavored E-Cigarette Targets Newborn

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SEATTLE, WA—A Seattle-based vaping company has been forced into damage control amidst claims that its new e-cigarette targets newborns. The basis for the claims...

Hospitals Now Joining Black Friday Frenzy

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NEW YORK, NY - Black Friday is hitting America very soon.  Stores are now opening their doors almost immediately after millions of Americans finish off eating...

Maternity Wards Stockpile Billions of Diapers to Prepare for Onslaught of Pandemic Babies

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NEW YORK, NY—Not wanting to get caught with egg on their faces or poop in their hands, maternity wards throughout New York City have...

Medical Professions as NFL Teams

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Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.   Orthopaedics are the...
mother researching vaccines

Mother Does Research, Chooses Not to Vaccinate

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JACKSONVILLE, FL – Local mother of two children, Denise Jacobson has decided after much research that she will not vaccinate her children.  “Research is...

Anti-Vaxxers Uncertain How to Feel About New Autism Vaccine

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"If there is a vaccine that big pharma claims will prevent autism, its probably a super double secret way to giving even more kids autism so they can sell more medications to treat autism because they're all a part of big autism!"

Mutated Pediatric Names Linked to Higher Mortality

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ATLANTA, GA - The lead article in this month’s Journal of Pediatric Critical Care started with a few simple observations. "I had two patients in...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

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ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...