Pediatrics

Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine

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KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in.  Millions of...

SHITSTORM Red Flag Phrases During Patient Turnover

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DJIBOUTI, DJIBOUTI - The 5th annual Seminar of Hospital Internists Technologists Surgeons Traumatologists Others RNs and More (SHITSTORM) convention resulted in the drafting of...
narcan fentanyl nipple

Narconipple Implant Helps Add Opioids to Breastfeeding

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SEATTLE, WA - Narconipple Inc. is pleased to introduce its revolutionary patented product, the Fentanypple.  The Fentanypple is a narcotic breast implant that delivers...

Lawless Family Boldly Sits in “Well” Section of Pediatric Waiting Room Despite Kids Clearly...

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CHEVY CHASE, MD—Shameless. Ballsy. Chutzpah. These are some of the words being used to describe a family that had the audacity to sit in...
Shkreli & Bresch

Breaking: Martin Shkreli & Heather Bresch Are A**holes

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NEW YORK, NY - In a candid interview on CBS News yesterday, Martin Shkreli admitted that "Yes, Heather Bresch and I are a**holes."  Mylan...
doctor dreaming

After Seeing 22 Patients in 90 Minutes, Area Pediatrician Rehearses for Her Eventual Last...

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“I thought about running directly into traffic,” says Dr. Jane Smith of her state of mind after seeing 22 walk-in patients in 90 minutes....
medical student

Caricatures of a Medical Student, an Intern, and a Paediatrician

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Here are some fantastic caricatures depicting medical Students, junior doctors, and paediatricians from a fan all the way from Ireland.  If you enjoyed the...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Announces Mandatory Journal Club on Vaccines for All Americans

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control announced in a press release today that they would be holding a mandatory journal club about vaccines....
adhd veterinarian

Veterinarians Overdiagnosing Pets with ADD

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BETHESDA, MD - The National Institutes of Health (NIH) released a troubling report which suggested that veterinarians in the U.S. are overprescribing stimulants to...