Pediatrics

American Academy of Pediatrics Increase Recommended Age for Car Seats to 17

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – New recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), printed in this month's issue of Pediatrics, will further change the way...

Presidential Election Medical Memes

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boxing gloves

Bickering Chiefs of Medicine & Surgery Sent to the Principal’s Office, Yet Again

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BOSTON, MA - In developing news at Boston Health & Science University, 51-year-old Chief of Medicine Kyle Jones and 53-year-old Chief of Surgery Maya...

New Research Shows That Anti-Vax Housewives Were Right All Along!

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MARIN COUNTY, CA - Tiffany Davis was relieved today when she heard from her friend Courtney Brown at their children’s Gymboree class that Courtney...

ChooseMyPlate.gov Updates Plate Portions for Nurses, Docs

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WASHINGTON, DC - The USDA website ChooseMyPlate.gov has updated its plate for all hospital personnel to remind them that while finding your healthy eating...

Doctors, Nurses in Disbelief as Even Infants Are Drug-Seeking

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ATLANTA, GA - Well, folks, now we’ve seen it all.  GomerBlog is sad to break the unfortunate news that the world is descending into...
graham crackers

97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets

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BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...

New Concierge Pediatrics Office Won’t Turn Away Any Kids with Money

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GREENWICH, CT—Piggybacking off the successful concierge medicine practices that have sprung up over the last two decades, a local pediatrician, Dr. Willis Cornwallis, has...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

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ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...
sonogram

Beyoncé’s 3-Month Sonogram Reveals Twins Harmonizing In Womb

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NEW YORK, NY - Speaking after a routine visit to the pop sensation's obstetrician, Beyoncé's agent confirmed to the press that the most recent...