New Concierge Pediatrics Office Won’t Turn Away Any Kids with Money
GREENWICH, CT—Piggybacking off the successful concierge medicine practices that have sprung up over the last two decades, a local pediatrician, Dr. Willis Cornwallis, has...
CDC Announces Mandatory Journal Club on Vaccines for All Americans
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control announced in a press release today that they would be holding a mandatory journal club about vaccines....
Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean
Ad text
Actual meaning
Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital
The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and...
African Child Tragically Unaware He Has ‘Marker Negative Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder’
MAUN, BOTSWANA - A desperately impoverished 6-year-old boy in Sub-Saharan Africa lacks the access to medical care which could properly diagnose his "Marker Negative...
AAP Announces New Screening Tool for Resident Developmental Delays
OKLAHOMA CITY, OK – American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has responded to a request from the American Medical Association (AMA) and constructed a new screening...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
Mother Furious With OB Nurse Who Mispronounced Her Baby’s Name
PORTLAND, OR - "Simply Outrageous!" Those were comments on a patient survey card by a mother regarding an OB nurse at Mercy Care Hospital yesterday on the 6th floor. ...
Antibiotic Combination Pill Approved for All Pediatric Infections
WASHINGTON, DC - Vancolinezodoxycillimyciflagylnox, brand named "Cureall," a combination pill developed by Amalgamated Pharmaceuticals containing all known oral antibiotics, was approved yesterday for pediatric infections...
Vader Pharmaceuticals Introduces New EpiLightsaber for Anaphylaxis
DEATH STAR II - In response to the growing prevalence of food allergies among employees of the evil Galactic Empire, Vader Pharmaceuticals have announced...
Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered
Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers). Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations. Environmental...