100-Year-Old Finally Ready for Discharge from NICU
CENTENNIAL, CO—Yesterday, a 1200-month-old newborn, Sandy Genarian, was finally discharged from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of Centennial Medical Center, where he has been...
Doc McStuffins Forced to Resign Due to Dismal Patient Satisfaction Scores
ORLANDO, FL - Children across America are devastated after news broke today that Doc McStuffins will not be asked back for another season. Disney...
Breaking: Martin Shkreli & Heather Bresch Are A**holes
NEW YORK, NY - In a candid interview on CBS News yesterday, Martin Shkreli admitted that "Yes, Heather Bresch and I are a**holes." Mylan...
Children’s Book Review: Grace & Chase Tackle Acid-Base
Pros / This book is a colorful, lyrical, and fun read for precocious infants, toddlers, and children with an interest in acid-base disorders.
Cons /...
97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets
BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...
Narconipple Implant Helps Add Opioids to Breastfeeding
SEATTLE, WA - Narconipple Inc. is pleased to introduce its revolutionary patented product, the Fentanypple. The Fentanypple is a narcotic breast implant that delivers...
Crying Baby Really Trying to Say ‘I Hate You!’
NEW HAVEN, CT – A new study just published in Pediatrics this month demonstrated that countless parent’s suspicions and anxieties were absolutely correct: When infants cry,...
Popsicle-Induced Brain Freeze: A Rising Epidemic in Pediatric Emergency Departments
LONDON, ON - Airway, Breathing, Circulation... Popsicle. This has been the foundation of pediatric resuscitation for decades. While the model has served pediatricians well,...
Breaking: Ummm Yeah, Fifty Bucks Says This Kid’s Going into Ortho
MIAMI, FL - Without waiting to see how his prepubescent, teenage, or even college years pan out, Gomerblog is already going to call it: fifty...
New Study Shows Father’s Breast Milk Improves Babies’ Intelligence over Mother’s Breast Milk
DENVER, CO – AstraZeneca recently announced that its new drug, Milkaman, was approved by the FDA for male breastfeeding. This novel drug causes pectoral muscle cells in...