Pediatrics

Newborn Nursery’s Infant Capacity Increases 50% by Hiring Former Tetris Champion

0
ATLANTA, GA – The Newborn Nursery at Swedish Covenant Hospital has seen a dramatic increase in their patient capacity after hiring a former Tetris...

Parent Uses Landmark Paper ‘No Difference in Scrape Healing Placebo Vs. Band-Aid’ Without Success

2
OMAHA, NE - Local resident Amy Shoemaker has tried to inform her children over and over that Band-Aids applied to only superficial wounds make...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Announces Mandatory Journal Club on Vaccines for All Americans

0
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control announced in a press release today that they would be holding a mandatory journal club about vaccines....
narcan fentanyl nipple

Narconipple Implant Helps Add Opioids to Breastfeeding

0
SEATTLE, WA - Narconipple Inc. is pleased to introduce its revolutionary patented product, the Fentanypple.  The Fentanypple is a narcotic breast implant that delivers...
pediatrician

Local Pediatric Clinic Finds It Can Cut Visit Time Down by Skipping All Those...

0
With insurance company reimbursements plummeting like doctors jumping off five story parking complexes, appointments must be at least 35% shorter. A local innovative practice...
hospital emergency room boarding

‘Twas the Night After Christmas

0
'Twas the Night After Christmas ‘Twas the night after Christmas, at the front of the house, The parents were lined up, all running their mouths. Neb tubing...

Sweet Tooth Identified: Dentists Localize to Tooth 32

0
HERSHEY, PA - After an exhaustive search spanning decades, the nation’s leading dentists have finally identified the ever-elusive sweet tooth, localizing it to Tooth 32...
medical student

Caricatures of a Medical Student, an Intern, and a Paediatrician

27
Here are some fantastic caricatures depicting medical Students, junior doctors, and paediatricians from a fan all the way from Ireland.  If you enjoyed the...
mother researching vaccines

Mother Does Research, Chooses Not to Vaccinate

96
JACKSONVILLE, FL – Local mother of two children, Denise Jacobson has decided after much research that she will not vaccinate her children.  “Research is...
doc

Doc McStuffins Forced to Resign Due to Dismal Patient Satisfaction Scores

36
ORLANDO, FL - Children across America are devastated after news broke today that Doc McStuffins will not be asked back for another season.  Disney...