Pregnant Patient Further Shocked When Told NuvaRing Not Meant to Be Worn on Finger
MOBILE, AL – Fighting back tears at a press conference last Saturday, Lisa Marie Bamberger told reporters she was “stunned with disbelief” in regards to a recent emergency room visit in which she was informed...
“Rewards” Program for Frequent Flyers Includes Unlimited, Complimentary Discharges
ATLANTA, GA - Atlanta University Hospital (AUH) has unveiled a new tiered hospital rewards program for frequent flyers that provides numerous benefits, including free downgrades in pain medications and complimentary discharges. Though the program...
NASA Plans to Build a Skilled Nursing Facility on Mars
MERRITT ISLAND, FL - Scientists have been planning a human mission to Mars for exploration and habitation for decades. Successful travel to and habitation of Mars would be a monumental accomplishment for science, physics, and...
Ketchup Packet in Random Clinic Drawer Turns 5 Years Old Today
NEW YORK, NY - And a Happy Fifth Birthday today to the 9-gram Heinz Ketchup packet located in a random desk drawer in some office at NYU Langone Medical Center! It was placed there...
Obama Says Sweeping Changes Will Eliminate Doctor Shortage
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Speaking at a live press conference from the Rose Garden today, President Obama announced major changes to health care, that he expects to solve the nation's doctor shortage. This new law,...
Patient in ED Knows Nothing About Medical History, Surgeries, or Medications
SAN JOSE, CA - When Dr. Anderson, a seasoned emergency room attending, went into room 14 late last night, he experienced a first in his long distinguished medical career. While getting a history and...
The Fantasy Google Electronic Medical Record Vs. Reality
Maybe Google needs to be hired for the next generation of electronic medical records. Most of us would appreciate these new changes.
Renegade Clan of Nap Specialists Declare Independence from Sleep Medicine
DARIEN, IL - In a startling development, a renegade clan of nap specialists known as “The Nappers” have seceded from the American Association of Sleep Medicine (AASM) and declared their professional independence.
“It’s a mistake...
New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”
CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside Raleigh now require nursing staff to provide a “happy ending”...
Medical Team Unable to Penetrate Patient’s Protective Blanket Cocoon
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - “I think it’s alive,” whispered intern Jason McCarren to nurse Mya Roberts, both at the patient’s bedside puzzled.
“Are you sure?” responded Roberts. “Maybe we should poke it?”
McCarren and Roberts are...