Primary Care

Justin Timberlake: I’m Bringing Measles Baaaack

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Recently Justin Timberlake announced to the world that he is not planning to vaccinate his child.  Evidently all the scientific evidence looks different behind...
honest patient

Doctor Confused by Record Number of Honest Patients

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SACRAMENTO, CA - In a truly unusual streak of luck, Dr. Joy Arbor of Sacramento Family Health had all honest patients on her panel...
bad diet

Hospital Introduces ‘American Diet,’ Patient Satisfaction Soars

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LOUISVILLE, KY - Patients and medical staff are abuzz about the University of Louisville Medical Center’s (ULMC) new dietary option: the American diet.  It...

Lazy Eye Not Even Trying to See

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TALLAHASSEE, FL – In an embarrassing show of pure slothfulness, the right eye of 28-year-old Christopher Chang has become so lazy that it won’t...
doctors moving

Florida Physicians Open Moving Company: Two Docs and a Box

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FT. LAUDERDALE, FL - Andrew DiCampo and Berger Winsome are your typical industrious and honest physicians who set out to build their primary care...
cosmo doctors

Cosmo: Eleven Tips for Mind-Blowing, Incredible Doctor Visits!

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Cosmopolitan magazine recently published “Eleven Tips for Mind-Blowing, Incredible Doctor Visits!” in a slight departure from its usual category of advice.  With permission from...
epipen price increase

EpiPen Users Develop Shock Over EpiPen Prices: Treatment, More EpiPens

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WASHINGTON, DC - Numerous cases of EpiPen Price Gouging Shock (EPGS) are sweeping the nation after EpiPen prices continue to be hiked up by...

New Weight Loss Surgery to Bypass Stomach, Mouth Completely

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BALTIMORE, MD – Calling the new procedure a “miracle in bariatric surgery,” physicians at John’s Hopkins University spoke at a press conference last Saturday...

Social-Histories Improve Markedly Following Social Media Data Hack

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Medical institutions across the nation have noticed a dramatic increase in the social history accuracy of their medical records over the past month, following...
pope francis blessing

Who Received Pope Francis’ Blessing?

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Many people know that Pope Francis has been visiting the United States.  However, not many people realize that he has stopped by numerous healthcare...