Thursday, June 24, 2021

Primary Care

never event medical error

New Year’s Resolution: Hospital Moving Away from Term “Never Event”… Due to Frequency of...

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NAPLES, FL - In 2011 when the term “Never Event” came into vogue for certain medical and surgical “whoopsies” that probably should never happen, administrators and quality care advisors at Our Lady of Perpetual...
Doc McStuffins, Lambie

Doc McStuffins Caught Sleeping with Lambie, License Suspended

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SACRAMENTO, CA - The Medical Board of California suspended the license of Dottie "Doc" McStuffins after allegations arose that she conducted an inappropriate relationship with a patient.  McStuffins’ embattled backyard playhouse clinic has faced a...

Family Cancels Vacation after EpiPen Use

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Bad news from the Carson family house yesterday, Chris and Jenny had to tell their kids that their recent use of an EpiPen, for an allergic reaction, forced them to cancel...
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Med Student with Crushing Debt Terrified He Will Like Family Medicine

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MAYWOOD, IL - Citing concerns about his crushing debt, local 3rd-year med student Aaron Ferguson reports that he is “terrified” he will enjoy his family medicine rotation.  “It sounds pretty good,” admitted a cautiously...
trump

If Elected, Trump to Appoint Jenny McCarthy as Surgeon General

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NEW YORK, NY - In a move which further establishes his anti-vaccine stance, Donald Trump announced yesterday that, if elected, he plans to appoint fellow famous anti-vaxxer Jenny McCarthy to the position of Surgeon...
therapy dog

Physician Reprimanded for Overprescribing Therapy Dogs

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RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA – An Inland Empire doctor has been placed on probationary status by the Medical Board of California for overprescribing therapy dogs, prescribing inappropriate therapy dogs, and giving unnecessary dog therapy to...
pokemon go

Pokemon Go Video Game Gets People To Go Outside

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CHICAGO, IL - Doctors are flabbergasted by what Nintendo has achieved. For years, they have been telling patients to stop playing video games and go outside and exercise. Then, in one day, Nintendo made...

Top 5 Medical Practices of 2016

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The list is out, the critics have weighed in, and of course a list was generated.  The TOP MEDICAL PRACTICES of 2016 are here.  So let's kick them off: 5: Mayo Clinic - As you...
Gas-X brain farts

Neurologists Recommend Gas-X for Treatment of Brain Farts

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - The American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has updated their guidelines for the diagnosis and management of brain farts, a condition characterized by a temporary mental lapse, and now formally recommend Gas-X...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

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ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the conversation about 'safe' vaccines."  De Niro claims that we should have...