Primary Care

patient satisfaction

New Product “Doctor Sunshine” Helps Physicians Identify, Dismiss Dissatisfied Patients

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DURHAM, NC - A startup company based in North Carolina's Research Triangle is growing exponentially and getting rave reviews from doctors due to its ability to find the unhappy and unrealistically dissatisfied patients on...
hospital door cms

New CMS Guideline: Door-to-Dilaudid Time

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WOODLAWN, MD - Today the Center for Medical Surveys (CMS) announced a radical change to benchmarking and patient satisfaction surveys.  Realizing the opportunity to capture more data while ensuring emergency medicine physicians meet patient’s...
Appointment shot clock

Clinic Installs Shot Clock Buzzer To Mark End Of Appointment Slot

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BOCA RATON, FL - In a groundbreaking move which could foster improved patient flow across the country, Madre De Díos Clinic spokeswoman Chlöe Less announced that a shot clock buzzer was installed each patient...
elf on shelf

Millions of Americans Battling Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move ‘Elf on the Shelf’ Variant

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has confirmed that a new anxiety syndrome has reached epidemic levels among parents nationwide.  Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move “Elf on the Shelf” Variant awakens afflicted patients in a...

Judge: No Conflict of Interest for Cardiology Practice to Own Fast Food Franchises

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5th circuit court appellate judge, Courtney Mills, ruled in favor of Riverside Cardiology Associates, PC in the case of Delaney at el vs Riverside Cardiology Associates, a class action lawsuit among approximately 4,000 residents...
female physician

Physician Still Hasn’t Received Her Big-Pharma Payout

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Newly-minted attending physician, Dr. Lindsay Moliarty, has a pile of bills to pay: $200,000 in student loans that has accrued $60,000 in interest while struggling to stay afloat during residency...
nice patient endangered species

Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the National Academy of Medicine (NAM; formerly known as the Institute...
New England Journal of Medicine New England Journals

Doctor Summons Courage to Toss Unread New England Journals

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PITTSBURGH, PA - Sometimes it's better to acknowledge one's own shortcomings and move on.  That is why we're saluting a hero, internist Dr. Keisha Boots, for summoning the strength and courage to do something...
registered nurses

Memes, Memes, and More Medical Memes

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powerball

Hoping for a Powerball Miracle, Healthcare Providers Across America Drafting Resignation Letters

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EVERY CLINICAL SETTING, UNITED STATES - Healthcare providers across the United States are hoping it’s an early holiday present in 2016, as every single one of them across the medical spectrum drafts a letter of...