Primary Care

insulin

FDA Bans Insulin Amid Reports of Increased Amputations and Other Life Threatening Diseases

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MEMPHIS, TN – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced on Monday that they are pulling insulin off the shelves across the country.  "We feel this drug is just not as safe as we...
APGAR 10 Apgart Apgar(t) troponin troponins

Breaking News! Baby Scores Perfect APGAR Scores of 10 and 10

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ST. LOUIS, MO - GomerBlog is on the scene of breaking news coming out of Busch Hospital in St. Louis, Missouri.  Initial reports are indicating that a newborn baby girl has scored a perfect 10...
empowered patient university

Empowered Patient University Established, Medical and Nursing Schools Threatened

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SAN JOSE, CA – A new university stands proud and tall in the heart of downtown San Jose.  Empowered Patient University is enrolling its first class this year.  The new university will enroll people...
lab tests

Local Woman: ‘I Need All My Labs Drawn’

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EAST LANSING, MI – Local patient Sheryl Harris came to clinic today with a chief complaint of "I need all my labs drawn." When questioned what specific labs she was referring to, she responded, "All...
ICD-10

ICD-10 Already Being Updated to ICD-10.2 in 2014

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WASHINGTON, DC - The much anticipated ICD-10 implementation in October 2014 will have new competition.  Even before the official release of ICD-10, the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD) is...

ER Visits Down 72% When it Rains, Trial to Focus on Healing Power of...

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NEW ORLEANS, LA – A multicenter observational study last year reviewed millions of ER visits and found that ER visits are down 72% when it rains.  The current hypothesis is that rain either has a healing effect...

Man ‘Accidentally Falls’ on Gerbil That Ran Through Lube

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MEMPHIS, TN – A local resident presented to the emergency room with an unusual complaint this evening.  Chief complaint: "My bottom really hurts." At first he was reluctant to say anything.  "He told me his bottom hurt,"...
empathy medical robot

Hospital to Employ Empathy Robots to Allow Nurses and Doctors to Chart

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Tired of being treated like a number at big hospitals?  Mercy Hospital in San Francisco wants to change that and they think they have the answer.  “Here at Mercy Hospital, we...
Olympics

STDs Running Rampant in Sochi Olympic Village

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SOCHI, RUSSIA – Apparently what happens in Sochi doesn’t always stay there.  Olympic athletes have been going at it strong and GomerBlog is sad to report that there are now numerous outbreaks of sexually...

Patient Care During Super Bowl Nears “Total Neglect” Status

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – "Don’t get sick during the Super Bowl" was the overwhelming response put out the Joint Commission today.  New studies just released by The Lancet indicate that patient care nears "total neglect" status...