Patient Care During Super Bowl Nears “Total Neglect” Status
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – "Don’t get sick during the Super Bowl" was the overwhelming response put out the Joint Commission today. New studies just released by The Lancet indicate that patient care nears "total neglect" status...
Styrofoam Cup Outperforms Crappy Disposable Stethoscope
ABSTRACT
Given the increased proliferation of multidrug resistant (MDR) microorganisms, it is considered standard of care to use patient-dedicated, disposable, or “crappy” stethoscopes to prevent transmission from patients in contact isolation to other nearby patients...
New Smartphone EMR Technology Allows Up To 120 Office Visits Per Hour
Primary care medicine got a lot faster last month when AutoDoc Technologies rolled out its newest diagnostic/EMR system, expected to allow physicians to see as many as 2 patients a minute during the clinic...
Rivalry Between Family Practitioner and Podiatrist Linked Back to One Case of Foot Fungus
MEDIA, PA - Tempers continue to flare in a small suburban town even after local researchers discovered that the origin of the now infamous rivalry between a podiatrist and a family medicine physician started with...
Coca-Cola Lashes Out, Reveals What Happens 1 Hour After Drinking Pepsi
ATLANTA, GA - After a recent infographic caused a stir by revealing what happens to the human body within the first hour of drinking Coca-Cola (also known as Coke), Coca-Cola was left no choice...
NASA: New Planet Discovered with Equatorial Volcano and Rivers of Lava
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a news conference held early this morning, NASA astronomers announced they have discovered a new planet next to Pluto with features unlike Earth or any other planet discovered to date. The...
Hospital Eliminates July from Calendar, Decreases Mortality 3,000%
BOSTON, MA - Hospital administrators nationwide are hailing a successful new effort described as “downright brilliant” to help curb hospital mortality by eliminating July from the calendar.
“Our new initiative is the culmination of a 10-year...
Man in US Furious About Waiting 15 minutes in ER; Meanwhile Patient in South...
DENVER, CO – 46-year-old Marcus Stillbee is furious after waiting for 15 minutes to be seen at the local Quicky Care Medical Center ER in Denver yesterday. Mr. Stillbee injured his ankle during an intense...
Dramatic ‘Code Placement’ Captured on Tape
AUSTIN, TX - In breaking news, GomerBlog has received word of a dramatic “Code Placement” captured on tape on Unit 4E at Austin Medical Center yesterday afternoon. In this chilling transcript below, a heroic...
Groundbreaking Study Finds ‘Apple a Day’ Therapy Prevents 100% of Hospital Readmissions
KANSAS CITY, MO – A group of researchers who set out to find the most effective way to prevent hospital patients from having to come back to see the doctor published their groundbreaking data...
