CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Any Advice to “Eat Sh*t and Die”

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ATLANTA, GA - Contrary to what that angry dude might have just screamed at you, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention recommends against his and anyone else's advice to "eat sh*t and die,"...

TV Show “Doctor Who” Changes Name to “Nurse Who” After Realizing There Are No...

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LONDON, ENGLAND - The producers of Doctor Who made a huge mistake: they cast a woman to be the next Doctor Who.  After Jodie Whittaker's signature was dry on the contract, the show-runners, Dallas Livingston...
Chipotle foodborne-illness menu

Staying True to Their Identity, Chipotle Launches New Foodborne-Illness Menu

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DENVER, CO - Chipotle admittedly had a rough 2016 but was surprised to see its customers stay loyal to the brand.  Realizing they can really get away with anything, Chipotle has released its new...

New Journal of Negative Studies Announced

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BOSTON, MA - The medical community is abuzz today with the announcement of the new Journal of Negative Studies.  The journal, which will focus on studies that showed no effect on patient outcomes, will...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Confirms ‘Something Going Around’

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ATLANTA, GA – In a recent press briefing, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed reports that something has been going around.  Constance Bentley, a senior official at the CDC, stated, “We’re not sure...

Doctor Excited to Get New, Last Year’s People Magazine for Waiting Room

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NAPERVILLE, IL - Dr. Nyugen's waiting room will be packed when word gets out they have the country's most-recent People magazine.  "I'm trying it keep it a little under wraps right now," Dr. Ken...
Pyxis Surgeon General

Nurse Surgeon General Really Hates Working with Pyxis Surgeon General

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WASHINGTON, DC - Only months into her federal role, former nurse and Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has already confided to Gomerblog about her intense distaste working with the current Pyxis Surgeon General. "God, this thing...

Millions of Men are Getting Bactrim for Summer

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With summer here a new trend is sweeping the nation among Mediterranean-descent men: Bactrim. When we looked into this odd trend, via google search, we were shocked at the results. WebMD says that Bactrim is...

10 Photos From the 2017 American Diabetes Association Conference They Don’t Want You to...

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The American Diabetes Association (ADA) was relentlessly mocked on Twitter over the weekend for asking conference attendees to remove any tweets that contain photography of the conference. This was viewed as a threat to open...
used speculum tongue depressor

Ten Spectacular Off-Label Uses of the Speculum

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You’re probably familiar with the traditional use of the speculum: visualization of the cervical os, blah blah blah.  We at Gomerblog are pleased to share some exciting uses of what has been hailed by...