Cardiologist Validates ‘Time to Burrito Consumption’ as Reasonable Cardiac Risk Stratification Tool

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MOBILE, AL - Local cardiologist Dr. Mona Bee has just published a brand new risk stratification tool for coronary artery disease and her patients could not be happier.  Dr. Bee developed the idea when...

Michael Phelps Has a Few Too Many Cupping Marks Near Genitals

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Although Michael Phelps has already drawn attention to the healing technique known as cupping with multiple circular bruises spotted across his body, today the greatest Olympic swimmer of all-time was...

Olympic Hospital Ready to Treat Athletes and Fans From Deadly Brazil

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - The 2016 games are predicted to be the most deadly since the 100 AD games when many Christians lost to the lions in the host city of Rome. "We not only...
honest patient

Doctor Confused by Record Number of Honest Patients

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SACRAMENTO, CA - In a truly unusual streak of luck, Dr. Joy Arbor of Sacramento Family Health had all honest patients on her panel last Wednesday.  “It started with my first patient of the...
herpes, Hillary Clinton

Hillary Launches New Public Health Campaign: ‘I’m with Her-pes’

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WASHINGTON, DC – In an effort to raise awareness for the rising rates of genital herpes across all age groups in the U.S., Hillary Clinton has launched a new public health campaign and task...

Google to Deploy Self-Driving Colonoscopes

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PALO ALTO, CA - Google has started to roll out their self-driving colonoscopies.  "We are very excited about this new technology," said CEO Sundar Pichai.  "Our self-driving colonoscopy drones have been sent out to millions...

Bovie Electrocautery Receives FDA Approval for Cutting Red Tape

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SILVER SPRING, MD - In an unprecedented move by the Food & Drug Administration (FDA), Bovie electrocautery has been approved for both incisional and excisional biopsies of both state and federal subtypes of red tape....

This Physician Won the KevinMD Big Burnout Sweepstakes. Here’s Why.

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TWITTER – The social media giant was abuzz today when news broke that John Roberts, a primary care physician from Sioux Falls, SD, had won the much anticipated “KevinMD Big Burnout Sweepstakes.” Dr. Roberts...

Patients on Contact Precautions in Hospital, Now Required to Have Yellow Cart Outside of...

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - A new mandate was recently passed that now requires ALL patients that were in contact precautions in the hospital, must have a yellow contact precaution cart outside of their home after...

With Sanders Out of 2016 Race, CDC Urges Those Still ‘Feeling the Bern’ to...

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ATLANTA, GA – Following the announcement from the Sanders campaign that he has officially withdrawn his candidacy from the 2016 Democratic Presidential Primary Race, officials at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)...