Study: The Average Doctor Moves at 73 Miles Per Hour
BOSTON, MA - A new study published in the New England Journal of Things Involving Feet has found that the average physician in modern medicine moves at a brisk rate of 73 miles per hour (mph),...
Intern Accused of Being a Poster Whore
OMAHA, NE - Ellis Simmons, intern in the Medicine-Pediatrics (Med-Peds) program, was discovered to be propositioning several pediatric hospitalists to work with him on different poster submissions to the residency program’s spring research symposium.
Ellis...
Clinically-Depressed Resident Not Flexible Enough for Yoga
TAMPA, FL - In a sad and tragic turn of events, local resident doctor James Hilden was told that he would never fully be cured from his depression due to his inability to participate...
ICU Signout: ‘Codes Every Few Minutes, But Otherwise Stable’
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - During signout for the patient transferring out of the medical intensive care unit (MICU) today, third-year medical resident Louis Jenner said matter-of-factly to the hospitalist take over his...
Gunner Med Student Sends Interns Home, Says He’s Got This
BOSTON, MA - Clearly shooting for the highest grade possible on his internal medicine rotation, self-proclaimed third-year gunner med student Grayson McGravy told the two medicine interns on his team to go home this morning because "I got...
Medical Student Reports He’s ‘Just Not That Interested’ In Clinical Rotation; Attending Physicians Quit
A shocking series of events has left Salem Teaching Hospital in complete disarray. The issues began when third-year medical student Daniel Greene bluntly stated that he was “just not that interested” in his required...
Man Cold Severity Scale (MCSS) Released!
The Man-Cold or Man-Flu can be a devastating illness for half the population. New guidelines have been released to risk-stratify these patients.
An objective rating scale for the Emergency Department. Give the patient a point...
Resident Tries G-Tube Feeds: ‘Really Not That Bad’
NEW YORK, NY – In a move sure to garner mixed reactions from colleagues and staff, second-year internal medicine resident Jon Paniagua opened a 1 Liter bag of Isosource 1.5, poured himself a glass,...
Wellness Lecture Scheduled on Christmas Morning
NEW YORK, NY - In a dramatic move that is sure to send shock waves through the medical community, an elite Surgical Residency program has announced the creation of it’s first ever Wellness curriculum,...
Next-Generation Robotic Simulation Patients to Contain Real Humans
After years of experience building advanced robotic simulation patients, The SimCenter of America design team thinks they’ve reached another technological breakthrough.
“Basically, we found that despite the best in applied research, our robotic simulation patients...
