Saturday, August 15, 2020

News-in-Brief

Short Articles for Your Short Attention Span

Da Vinci

Da Vinci Recruited by Megatron to Destroy Optimus Prime

0
CYBERTRON - In unsettling news today, Da Vinci continues to pursue his dastardly ways by joining forces with the Decepticons.  Citing neglect on behalf on medical providers, Da Vinci has decided he has had enough...
butterflies stomach

Nervous Patient’s KUB Shows Butterflies in Her Stomach

0
LOS ANGELES, CA - A 44-year-old female was preparing for a big work-related speech when she presented to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center with anxiety and nausea worse than what is typical for her known fear...
prior authorization prior auth eternity

Study: Average Wait Time for Prior Authorization is Eternity

0
CHICAGO, IL - A recent web-based survey conducted by the American Medical Association (AMA) of 1,000 physicians who have recently attempted requests for prior authorization (PA) revealed that the wait time for a PA decision ranges...
Bell Biv Devoe

Toxicologist Bell Biv DeVoe Confirms: ‘That Girl is Poison’

0
BOSTON, MA - After "sensing something strange in my mind" for a few days now, Boston emergency physician and toxiciologist Dr. Bell Biv DeVoe has officially confirmed with Gomerblog that the "situation is serious" and...
tricarboxylic acid cycle TCA cycle dying patients kreb cycle

Med Student Knows Krebs Cycle, Whoop-De-Doo

0
LAS VEGAS, NV - Not that Gomerblog or anyone else gives a sh*t, but second-year University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) medical student Karen Weaselsnout-Jones apparently knows the Krebs cycle inside and out.  Yeah....

Nurse Disappears After Using “Q” Word

0
ROCHESTER, MN - Jackie Shern, floor nurse at United General, disappeared following her shift last week.  “It was an easy night for us,” stated Jess Gird, a coworker of Jackie’s.  “We were getting our...
hunger pain scale hangry

Joint Commission Releases New Hunger Pain Scale

0
CHICAGO, IL - Gomerblog has just received word, in fact several words, that the Joint Commission will put forth a new hunger pain scale.  This comes as the Joint Commission acknowledges that hunger pain is...
sensual rescue breaths

New AHA CPR Guidelines Introduce “Sensual” Rescue Breaths

0
DALLAS, TX - In a change of course from recent guidelines which stressed hands on chest-only CPR for bystanders, the American Heart Association (AHA) has released new guidelines which highlight the importance of what they...
Blood gravy content concentration level

CDC Issues Blood Gravy Content Chart for Thanksgiving

0
ATLANTA, GA - Ahead of Thanksgiving, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued a new blood gravy content (BCG) chart, reminding family and other loved ones that "friends don't let friends drive...

Patient Elated to Get Terminal Diagnosis Days After Election

0
DENVER, CO - Jason Jerry, age 25, of Colorado sat in his oncologist’s office today and received perceivably the best news he could imagine.  His diagnosis is terminal and doctors say he has less...
199,751FansLike
60,487FollowersFollow
45,901FollowersFollow