Maroon 5 Admitted to Hospital with 5 Maroon Stools
LOS ANGELES, CA - Maroon 5 is hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center after collectively experiencing 5 maroon-colored stools, including lead singer and NBC’s The Voice coach Adam Levine. Thankfully, all band members are in...
Attending Physician Stranded in Clinic Without a Resident: A Tale of Survival
ST. LOUIS, MO – It was 9 AM on a Thursday morning and each clinic room was full in Dr. Tone’s colorectal clinic.
“Sir, the patient in 19 is getting antsy saying no one has...
Da Vinci on Quest to Rescue Princess Toadstool
WORLD 2-4, MUSHROOM KINGDOM - We have just received word that the Da Vinci Surgical Robot has embarked on a quest to save Princess Toadstool, as Super Mario remains in tough condition after a...
Dr. Oz’s Colonoscopy Reveals That He’s FOS
CLEVELAND, OH - After years of nauseating lies and verbal diarrhea, America’s leading medical quack Dr. Oz finally underwent a much needed colonoscopy today that revealed he is completely, unequivocally, and totally full of...
New Extreme weight loss surgery: total gastric intestinal bypass
All that “digestion and absorption is so overrated”
Weight loss surgery has gained popularity, although success rates are no where near 100%. Patients have been asking for more effective types of weight loss surgeries, especially...
Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean
Ad text
Actual meaning
Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital
The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and the cost of that new fountain in the lobby will...
Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean
Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life in the hospital, Livin La Vida Locum, M.D. shares the...
Barium Enema Reveals Abnormal Presence of Barium in the Colon
NEW YORK, NY - An inpatient medical team was shocked to learn that a barium enema performed earlier today revealed an abnormal presence of barium in their patient's rectum, something no one...
Mom Still Cleaning Up After Surgeon Son
NAPLES, FL - A recent phenomenon in an operating room (OR) at Mary Mother Hospital has caught quite the buzz. Dr. Roger Messi was going about his daily routine performing his third surgery when...
Breaking: Anal Resection Now First-Line Treatment for Butthurt
CHICAGO, IL - In response to an exponential increase in cases of butthurt over the past several years, the American College of Surgeons (ACS) has published new guidelines recommending anal resection - either low...
