Sunday, May 19, 2024

Colorectal

Colorectal surgery satire articles

colonoscopy

Breaking: Gastroenterologist Thinks Patient is Full of Sh*t

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COOKEVILLE, TN - A local gastroenterologist by the name of Baxter Jones completely shocked patient Mason Watts and his family when he flat out told them that Watts was simply full of sh*t. "He told...

Stryker Surgical Snacks, The Perfect OR Treat

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DALLAS, TX – Stryker Surgical just released a new line bound to please every orthopedic surgeon, anesthesiologist, CRNA, OR nurse, surgical tech, and yes, even make the general surgeons happy too.  They’re called Stryker...
gi scope

Dr. Oz’s Colonoscopy Reveals That He’s FOS

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CLEVELAND, OH - After years of nauseating lies and verbal diarrhea, America’s leading medical quack Dr. Oz finally underwent a much needed colonoscopy today that revealed he is completely, unequivocally, and totally full of...
radiologist reading

Radiologist Reports His Dictations in Haiku Form

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Dr. Gerald Wong, a veteran radiologist with 5 months before his retirement, was interviewed yesterday by E.J. Weekly on how his new style of reporting. Dr.Wong, leaning back on his chair, said "Frankly, I'm...

Doctor, Patient Miscommunicate: Doc Recommends Mayo Clinic, Patient Unfortunately Hears “Mayo Colonic”

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ROCHESTER, MN—Patients don’t always comprehend what their doctors tell them whether it’s due to language barriers, hearing difficulties or the use of complex medical jargon by the doctor. Sometimes these miscommunications are harmless, sometimes...

Particularly Rough Night on Inpatient Psych Ward Inspired Angry Turds Game Franchise

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BENTONVILLE, AR - In a classic example of art imitating life, a disgruntled inpatient psychiatric nurse created the now famous Angry Turds franchise of games, movies, apps, t-shirts, crocs, and mumu’s. The game is...

Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean

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Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life in the hospital, Livin La Vida Locum, M.D. shares the...
meatball sub

New Extreme weight loss surgery: total gastric intestinal bypass

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All that “digestion and absorption is so overrated” Weight loss surgery has gained popularity, although success rates are no where near 100%. Patients have been asking for more effective types of weight loss surgeries, especially...

Unprepared Patient Cramming for Tomorrow’s Rectal Exam

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AUBURN, AL - Forever the procrastinator, nervous and unprepared patient Johnny Sanders has started cramming for tomorrow's rectal exam in the hopes he can pass. "This happens to...
garden gnome

Study: 90% Of Rectal Foreign Bodies Are Idiopathic

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - A recent retrospective review of Birmingham, Alabama confirms that 90% of rectal foreign bodies are idiopathic.  Colorectal surgeon Joshua P Dengle has spent the better part of the last decade removing...