Saturday, September 19, 2020

Orthopedics

hopscotch

Study: Hopscotch Leading Cause of Hip Fractures in Elderly

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BOSTON, MA - A byproduct of the children's game that has become an inexplicable epidemic among our baby boomers, a study newly published in the New England Journal of Bones has once again named...
bone day skeleton bone to pick

Warning: Ortho Has a Bone to Pick with You

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RALEIGH, NC - Gomerblog just wants to give you a heads up: Ortho has a bone to pick with you.  It's unclear what bone they will pick since there are so many to choose...
orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics

Ortho Consults Medicine to See if It’s Spelled Orthopedics or Orthopaedics

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BOSTON, MA - Unable to settle a decades-long debate amongst themselves, orthopods at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) have swallowed their pride and consulted their internal medicine colleagues to help them spell their speciality: is...

Ortho Defeats Da Vinci in Good Ole Fashioned Arm-Wrestling Match

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DURHAM, NC - An anticipated nail-biter that didn't end up going the distance, orthopedic surgeon Barrett Stonewall easily defeated the Da Vinci Surgical Robot in a good ole fashioned arm-wrestling match that took place...
orthopedic surgeons

Orthopod Cuts Patient Load by Telling Them the Truth

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PEMBROKE PINES, FL - In an amazing feat of political incorrectness, an orthopaedic surgeon cut his clinic volume of non-operative patients by half by simply telling the truth. Dr. Joe “Nunchucks” Carpenter, an orthopaedic surgeon practicing...

Orthopaedic Surgeons Declared Strongest Species on Earth

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GABORONE, BOTSWANA - Inspired by the 2018 World’s Strongest Man competition, local orthopaedic surgeon Jamies Baylee started pondering if there exists a species of animal stronger than the Staff Orthopedic Surgeon. The following are the...

Ortho Throws Vanc at Infected Total Knee, Misses and Breaks Window

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YUCAIPA, CA - The Inland Empire of California has long been known as the Wild West of Medicine where board certified surgeons are as rare as moose sightings. Michelle Spain felt like the bastion of...

Breaking: If Orthopaedic Surgeons Were Actually Good at Sports They’d Play Them Professionally

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PHOENIX, AZ - At this year’s annual meeting of the Bro Orthopaedic Navy Extremity Surgeons (BONES), BONES President Buck Cravedigger made a shocking admission to guest speaker Jerome “the bus” Bettis. “Honestly Mr. Bus, can...

Woodstock Veteran Disappointed to Learn New Joint Made of Titanium and Plastic

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BERKELEY, CA - Bill “Doobie” Bogarter fondly refers to Woodstock as the “best two weeks I can’t remember.” He was the first faculty at UC Berkley to get a medicinal marijuana card long before...

Orthopaedic Surgeon Wears Wrist Guards But Not Helmet While Rollerblading

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ALBANY, NY - Local orthopaedic surgeon Louie Soler doesn’t take chances inside or outside of the operating room. When he goes out for his monthly cardio workout consisting of rollerblading 2 miles, he always protects...
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