Mid-Case and Looking for a Workout, Orthopod Asks Scrub Tech for Dumbbells
LOS ANGELES, CA - Realizing that this little-old lady's hip replacement wasn't giving him the adequate workout and reps he needed, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley asked his scrub tech midway through the case for...
Secretary Tom Price Deploys Stryker Drone to Mass Vaccinate America for Flu
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Fresh off ex-fixing the Washington Monument, new Secretary of Health and Human Services and orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has turned his attention to preventive health. Just yesterday, Price deployed a brand...
Developmental Milestones for a Baby Orthopod
As a proud new parent, you may be distracted by everything it takes to be successful. However, if you pay enough attention to your baby's developmental milestones, you can tell if he or she...
Orthopod Bewildered by Internist with Bigger Biceps
LOS ANGELES, CA - "How can it be??!!" wondered orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley, scratching his noggin with his oversized mitts. "Thor don't understand!" You see, Hammersley has just spotted a true anomaly walking the...
Orthopedic Surgeon General Declares Today “National Bone Day”
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Orthopedic Surgeon General of the United States Dr. Brock Hammersley has announced he will declare today a national holiday honoring all bones - past, present, and future - who have served...
Secretary Tom Price Places Ex-Fix on Washington Monument
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Less than 24 hours after his Senate confirmation, orthopedic surgeon and new Secretary of Health and Human Services Dr. Tom Price didn't waste any time getting his hands dirty (yet keeping...
Small-Armed Orthopaedic Surgeon Assigned to Pediatric Fellowship
DETROIT, MI – Dr. Timothy Billroy was assigned to a pediatric fellowship due to what his program director stated: small arms. “I mean the dude clearly doesn’t work out. If you want to hang...
Orthopod Caught Auscultating Ancef Pump
ATLANTA, GA - "Shhh," orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley told befuddled onlookers as he used a stethoscope (or, as he puts it, "a mini jump rope") to carefully listen to one of his must trusted friends, the Ancef pump. ...
Oh No! Orthopedic Surgeon Got Plowed into a Snowbank
FARGO, ND - A tragedy hit the Fargo area when Sanford Medical Center learned one of their orthopedic surgeons was plowed into a snowbank.
"This is sad," Sanford Health CEO said. "We don't like it when...
Orthopod Caught Listening to Femur with Stethoscope
ATLANTA, GA - In an awkward moment at a patient's bedside earlier today, orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley was caught doing what can only be described as a head-scratcher: auscultating his patient's surgically-repaired femur with a stethoscope.
"I...