ST. LOUIS, MO – GomerBlog is on the scene of breaking news coming out of Busch Hospital in St. Louis, Missouri. Initial reports are indicating that a newborn baby girl has scored a perfect 10 and 10 on her newborn APGAR scores.
APGAR scores, developed by Dr. Virginia Apgar, are assigned to newborn babies at the 1 minute and 5 minute point after delivery and grade Appearance, Pulse, Grimace, Activity, and Respirations: 2 points are given for each category with 10 being the maximum score.
No baby has ever scored a perfect 10 and 10, not even baby Chuck Norris. In 1996, Baby Rose scored a 10 at the one minute mark, but developed acrocyanosis at the 5 minute mark, and received a 9. Since then, no baby has ever scored back to back 10s until today.
Baby Samantha was given a perfect 10 and 10 today in operating suite 2 at Busch Hospital.
Pediatrician, Dr. Derrick Myers, who was present at the delivery in the operating suite is still in shock from all the press. “I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I have never handed out a 10, but this was the loudest, strongest, and pinkest baby girl that I have ever seen. The baby tried to cut her own cord and was almost successful. Usually we knock at least one point off for acrocyanosis, but I didn’t see a speck of blue in this kid.”
If the official pinkness can be confirmed by recently implemented “instant replay” cameras installed in the OR, Baby Samantha’s record breaking feat could top even Nadia Comăneci’s 1976 Olympics Gymnastics perfect 10 score and Mary Lou Retton’s in 1984. Some say this almost guarantees her a perfect ACT score. Some colleges have started offering full rides in preparation, and her parents have received some letters of interest from medical schools and nursing schools.
Skeptics are already making outrageous claims, that Baby Samantha will be cursed now since she started out “perfect.” One anonymous nurse was overheard saying, “Ohhh, she really got a 10 and 10. I’m superstitious and I bet that baby will have something go wrong. Maybe a persistent PDA or RSV infection this winter, just watch.”