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ORLANDO, FL – Children and health care practitioners worldwide are still reeling after the forced resignation of Doc McStuffins.  Though Disney’s spin-off Admin McBriefcase is set to debut soon, Nickelodeon has its sights set on winning over Disney fans with their new series Dora the Malingerer.

malingerer map“Kids do grow up fast,” said Nickelodeon executive Cutie McDoiley.  “Dora just had a tweenage makeover, yes.  But she’s grown up even more now and faces her most difficult quest to date: battling a serious drug addiction.”

Dora the Malingerer is less passionate about her quests, unless they involve crack, cocaine, heroin, or crystal meth.  She still carries her purple backpack, which is mostly filled with pipes, used needles, shrooms, and an emergency stash of weed.  Boots, her faithful talking monkey friend, has taken a liking to booze, and is often inebriated and inappropriate.  “This is the first time at Nickelodeon where we’ve had to bleep out curse words,” said McDoiley.

Dora the Malingerer still interacts with her viewers.  In the pilot, she asks: “We need to go see a primary care doctor.  Where do we go first: a primary care doctor’s office or the ER?  The ER, right!”  In another episode, she asks: “My EF is only 5%, so which path should I take: the one lined with DNR forms or the one lined with ventilators and defibrillators?”  Sometimes her questions are just uncomfortable for the viewer: “Can I stay with you just one night?  I need a place to sleep and eat.  Please?!”

Swiper, the talking masked fox that attempts to steal others’ possessions, is also back for more.  More Dilaudid.  He, too, has a serious drug addiction.

Dora the Explorer fans will love the songs on Dora the Malingerer, which are more thought provoking than ever.  Song topics include drug overdose, pseudoseizures, unprotected sex and its consequences, being manipulative, and leaving against medical advice.

The “We did it!” song at the end of each Dora the Explorer episode is missing in Dora the Malingerer.  It will be replaced by health care practitioners singing a reprise entitled, “You’re discharged!”

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  • Andrew Rabinovich

    Kapi Sivakumar

  • Jill Hall

    Louise Pachella

  • Peg Rrt Bennett

    Perfect:)

  • Mike Plötner

    Not funny

  • Rachael Ward

    Robert Boyes

  • Jason Johnson

    Kisha Crofts

  • Walker Lindley

    She is now a “gomera”

  • Demidova Olga

    Hope she comes back with lots of Senokot.

  • Jennifer Wooten

    Walker Lindley

  • Jeff Smith

    Only one place here that would hold my interest Deb..

  • Tammy Cameron Maher

    Discharged Dora yesterday.

  • Alex Josiah Dunn

    Love it.

  • Kelly Renee

    Erin Kathryn

  • Haley Johnson

    Becky Schroeder Alex Josiah Dunn wtf

  • ZDoggMD

    Swiper no Swiping…my oxycontin.

  • John Klaman

    This is the more of the high quality cartooning one expects as we mature.

  • Lauren Jarchin

    Dory Ben

  • Derek Seib

    *slow clap

  • Rachel Carty Moehlmann

    Meaghan Fleschner Barry gomerblog again. This is hysterical since I grew up with that annoying little twerp Dora

  • Debbie Sheffield

    Jeff Smith

  • Brooke Billingsley

    Sarah Claire Sandy Ford-Fernandez Lori Leonhardt

  • Katie Rose

    Arya Farahvashi

  • Adrian Miclea

    You’re my inspiration Gomerblog

  • Farah Nasraty

    Lily Gvi

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