• 335
    Shares

WHITE PLAINS, NY – In a shrewd but brilliant marketing move last week, Hoveranywhere announced plans to sell thousands of “smaller-sized” pediatric power chairs.

childhood obesityThe chairs are modeled after the adult Hoveraround, but will come in three scaled down sizes and eight different colors to accommodate the rapidly-expanding population of morbidly obese kids.

John Rossman, CEO of Hoveraround, was reached by GomerBlog for comments.  “If it is socially acceptable for obese but able-bodied adults to avoid walking and instead ride a motorized wheelchair, then why shouldn’t the same practice be acceptable for obese children?” he reasoned.

“Walking should be a thing of the past.  Why should us humans continue walking like our cave man ancestors, when we have the capability to travel in comfort?”

The chairs will retail for about $3500.  Each chair comes equipped with a 16″ LCD monitor, Bose surround sound speakers, WiFi capability, a bin for storage of deep-fried carbohydrate snacks, a cooler for calorie-dense beverages, a toilet, an X-Box, disability paperwork, and a lifetime exercise excuse.

  • 335
    Shares
Jake Ho
After 10 years spent fighting the unwinnable war that is Emergency Medicine in America, an "ER doctor" left medicine altogether and joined a Buddhist temple in Tibet, changing his name to "Jake Ho." He found the peaceful solitude he achieved to be the antithesis of years spent dealing with unreasonable requests and reprimands from patients, families, hospital administrators, and consultants. The vows of celibacy and silence he took are largely mitigated by the blogging and internet porn made possible thanks to the temple's excellent Wi-Fi connection.
WordPress › Error

There has been a critical error on this website.

Learn more about troubleshooting WordPress.