rods and cones
4.6K Shares

NEW YORK, NY – Realizing that the ophthalmologic world of retina is still way too vast with its ten layers, retina specialist Jacob Vitreous has decided to further subspecialize by focusing not only on one of those ten layers – the photoreceptor layer – but also on a subset of cells within that layer – cones, but definitely not rods.

rods and cones“I hate rods,” said Vitreous with a hint of anger.  “Peripheral vision, night vision… who cares?  I hate rods.  And not just rods in the eye either.  All rods: fishing rods, lightning rods, hot rods, and A-Rod because of the steroid thing.”

Vitreous’ decision to focus on cone cells is consistent with the trend of subspecializing seen in healthcare.  Ear, Nose & Throat (ENT) doctors are choosing to become Ear, Nose or Throat doctors.  Hand surgeons are specializing down to individual fingers.  General surgeons are training to become specific surgeons.  One New York endocrinologist has been rumored to have narrowed his focus so much that he only treats 42-year-old diabetics named Michael or Michelle.

As for Vitreous, he will need to complete another five years of fellowship on cones.  Vitreous believes that it’s the right thing for him; he thought about it long and hard.  “A good friend of mine committed to five years of rods fellowship,” he explained anecdotally.  “Four years into it, she was so upset; she realized she was a cones kind of gal.”

As you might have guessed, Vitreous loves cones.  All seven million of them.

“I mean, bright light and color vision, that’s where it’s at!” said Vitreous, his eyes wide with excitement.  “I love cones!  And not just cones in the eye either.  All cones: orange traffic cones, ice cream cones, snow cones, former Mets pitcher David Cone, the Coneheads, and even my neighbors, the Cohens.  Man, they’re such nice folk!”

There is already speculation among family, friends, and colleagues of Vitreous that if fellowship goes well, he will further specialize in left-eye cone cells.  Only time will tell.

image_pdfimage_print
4.6K Shares

Tags:

  • Show Comments

  • BRyan Bae

    Zakery Zakee

  • Dong An

    Sorry I’m oncall for superior limbus only

  • Carmen Meier

    Patrick Laber

  • Carmen Meier

    Patrick Laber

  • Marc-André Martin

    Maz Chlkn

  • Lilly Droll Wagner

    So funny and so true!

  • Rocco Arcieri

    Further expanding optho specialty choices, neuro optho creates fellowship in not being able to see, my area of expertise is the blind spot

  • Bryan Propes

    More and more about less and less

  • Alicia D. Fagan

    Bryan Propes LOL

  • Shaheen Chowdhury

    Lol!…says the man preparing for super-specialization!

  • Marita Kruger

    Malcolm Naude

  • Evan Eckart

    No I’m on call for red cones. You’ll need to page whoever’s on call for blue cones

  • Sarah Khurram

    Hahahaha :-D

  • Hannes Kroll

    Lilly Droll Wagner

  • Jeff Jefferson

    Adam McLaughlin
    Melissa Ann

  • Ross Tekulve

    Do you have to page the rod service?

  • Ross Tekulve

    Do you have to page the rod service?

  • Eileen Left

    I should make one for ophtho

  • Eileen Left

    I should make one for ophtho

  • Eileen Left

    I’m post call and it’s early, but thanks – was your dad a microbiology teacher in Texas?

  • Eileen Left

    I’m post call and it’s early, but thanks – was your dad a microbiology teacher in Texas?

  • Steven Couch

    OpHtho

  • Steven Couch

    OpHtho

  • Doug Arenberg

    Ravi Reddy

  • Doug Arenberg

    Ravi Reddy

  • Eddie Shmukler

    Sally Primus Leslie Abrams Tobe

  • Eddie Shmukler

    Sally Primus Leslie Abrams Tobe

  • Mark D. Ehlke
  • Mark D. Ehlke
  • Amr Kouchouk

    Ha I know they are joking, but the cornea has 5 layers and there are now people who pretty much just specialize in the last two layers!!

  • Amr Kouchouk

    Ha I know they are joking, but the cornea has 5 layers and there are now people who pretty much just specialize in the last two layers!!

  • sk

    there was that ortho fellow as well specializing in the right anterior superior iliac spine

  • Eileen Left

    And he will refuse to do any optho trauma call

  • Eileen Left

    And he will refuse to do any optho trauma call

  • Hekmekz Arhsa

    Amr and Julia you may enjoy this!

  • Hekmekz Arhsa

    Amr and Julia you may enjoy this!

  • Steve Roshia Jr.

    A very ” colorful” read

  • Steve Roshia Jr.

    A very ” colorful” read

  • Jen Kephart

    The dress is blue and bronze !

  • Jen Kephart

    The dress is blue and bronze !

  • Mersiha Hadziahmetovic

    Bwahaah! Sarah Mirza

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

4.6K Shares