It’s not uncommon to start a history of present illness (HPI), assessment, or discharge summary with the following phrase: This is a very pleasant… and then go on to say 30-year-old male, 54-year-old female, etc. In fact, we use the phrase so much that we’ve diluted it’s meaning. Next time, consider using one of the following alternate phrases to more accurately describe your patient:
This is not a very pleasant…
This is a really terrible…
This sinfully awful…
This uncannily noncompliant…
This suspiciously cooperative…
This is a rare, totally normal…
This sweet little but extremely vulgar…
This ridiculously ticklish…
This heroic, dare I say legendary…
This wonderfully symmetric…
This is an awe-inspiring…
This absolutely hilarious…
This is an infinitely constipated…
This is a lying, malingering…
This is a batsh*t crazy…
This is a m**therf**king…
This kinda sketch…
This incredibly inappropriate…
This is a really boring…
This is an impressively unimpressive…
This multi-drug resistant…
This left-footed…
This is a morose, Eeyore-like…
This is the world’s most entitled…
This is a hysterically flatulent…
This is a mentally prolapsed…
This is an annoyingly talkative…
This neverending bounce-back is a…
This is an obnoxiously loud…
This is a fantastically gullible…
This is a very touchy-feely…
This is an omnipotent…
This is an impotent…
This is a Klingon-speaking…
This is a sexy but mysterious…
This is an evil…
This platinum-status frequent-flyer is a…
This is a show-stopping…
This is a clutch…
This is a spandex-wearing…
This is a water-repellent…
This is a sturdy but flexible…
Once upon a time, there was a…
Our story’s protagonist is a…
This heartwarming tale starts with our…
My arch nemesis is a…
So why should you care about a…
I hope you never have to meet this…
Sigh, sit down and let me tell you about this…
