orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics
9.5K Shares

ROME, GA – Doctors and hospital administrators are lauding what has been called a “breakthrough in succinctness,” as a patient discharged after six months in the hospital presented to his primary care provider with a three-sentence discharge summary in hand.

orthopedic surgeonDr. Julius Caesar, professor of Orthopaedic Surgery at the Rome University Specialty Hospital (RUSH), confidently dictated his patient’s hospital course by simply stating, “I came. I saw. I conquered.”  The patient, Mr. John Poffbuilding, a 39-year-old roofing contractor, had suffered a catastrophic fall from a ten-story building, resulting in 57 distinct fractures.

His six-month hospital course had been complicated by multiple surgeries for placement of orthopaedic hardware, ventilator-associated pneumonia, multiple bouts of septic shock secondary to multidrug-resistant organisms, a hemorrhagic stroke, an ischemic stroke, a myocardial infarction, acute respiratory distress syndrome (ARDS) requiring extracorporeal membrane oxygenation (ECMO), three episodes of cardiac arrest, and a rare form of cystic acne.

The attending physician for the medicine consult service, who wished to be identified only as “Dr. Mario” stated, “We tend to call complicated patients ‘train-wrecks.’  Mr. Poffbuilding was more than a train-wreck.  He was a train-wreck that had crashed into a nuclear waste dump during an earthquake caused by a volcanic eruption.”  Through much rehabilitation and extensive work by multiple services, Mr. Poffbuilding has been completely healed and is back to the way he was before his accident.

Narrating the hospital course for such a patient can be extremely difficult, Dr. Mario said.  “Dr. Caesar has really pulled off a feat,” he said.  “In three short sentences, he has told every future provider everything they need to know about what the team did for him.  I knew the creator of the no word SOAP note would pull off another victory!”

Dr. Mario’s sentiments have been echoed by others, including the Chief of the Division of Infectious Diseases at RUSH, who stated, “I’m so sick of discharge summaries that tell us what resistant organisms a patient grew and what antibiotics they were treated with.  All I need to know is that the patient was sick.  Dr. Caesar knows the true meaning of ‘summary.'”

A small group of dissenting physicians from the Bureau of Long-Ass Hospitalizations (BLAH) have stated that Dr. Caesar is setting a poor precedent by failing to include the minute details of Mr. Poffbuilding’s hospital course.  Dr. Marcus Brutus, a close friend of Dr. Caesar, tells GomerBlog that he privately warned him to, “Beware the Ides of March,” the date when the Joint Commission will be visiting RUSH.

When asked to comment, Dr. Caesar simply replied, “Et tu, Brute?”

image_pdfimage_print
9.5K Shares

Tags:

  • Show Comments

  • Fionnuala Kelly

    Moni Brunt James Teng this would be handy for those d/c backlogs!

  • Corey Ames

    This is my goal!

  • David Schwartz

    Sincerely disappointed to find out this was a parody. I read it looking for inspiration and instruction… oh well! :-)

  • Hugo Gemal

    Mark HigginsChris BrethertonRhys ClementPeter YoungEleanor Houghton

  • Hugo Gemal

    excellent. ISQ is a pretty good WR entry for the long stayers…

  • Joe Marwood

    Hugo

  • Charvee Oza

    Vishaal Buch

  • Basilie Teoh

    Marc Chia Rosie Callahan

  • Adrienne Rosenfeld

    Patrick Shanley
    Bureau of Long-Ass Hospitalizations lol

  • Molly Odell Nygren

    Love it!! Especially from the observation unit; a second stop from ER.

  • Molly Odell Nygren

    Yes it’s called a AMA. Lol!!

  • Jason Lifshutz

    Do it a lot

  • Catherine Moore

    Best blog post! So hilarious

  • Catherine Moore

    Best blog post! So hilarious

  • Emily Carolyn Houston

    Katie Houston Lanier

  • Yoram Puius

    One sentence: “See yesterday’s ID consult.”

  • Todd V Prier

    No word soap note! Lmao

  • Vanessa Quinones

    Jenny Sanders

  • John Mowrey

    Ha!

  • Lisa Hamrick Aamoun

    Too funny. I guess if they were going home to die in hospice. The summary would read. Too sick to save. I suck as a DR I guess. LOL!

  • Suren Senthi

    Yup sounds like a house officer I know

  • Paul TJ

    Should have been veni vidi vici

  • Gerald Schroepfer

    :P

  • Kerry Penman Gaines

    Lawyers baby! We love ’em!

  • Daniel Shein

    Outstanding

  • Kerry Penman Gaines

    Matthew Mark Gaines. You are doing it wrong.

  • Robby Westermann

    There are way too many events for the Orthopaedic service to remain the primary team.

  • Richard Kincaid

    Sam! Bernard!

  • Carolyn Warner Greer

    Jerry Greer

  • Anne Moore

    Lol Touro

  • Yoni Deutsch

    Anne Moore Why were all my SOAP notes 6 pages?

  • Kathleen Bylsma

    @Kevin Sonn

  • Kathleen Bylsma

    @Kevin Sonn

  • Anne Moore

    Allie Pierce

  • Anne Moore

    Allie Pierce

  • ZDoggMD

    Mindy Evangelisti I NEED THAT!

  • ZDoggMD

    Mindy Evangelisti I NEED THAT!

  • Heather Murdoch

    I can sum up a lot of pt stays in one sentance: Pt is batshit crazy. Lol

  • Heather Murdoch

    I can sum up a lot of pt stays in one sentance: Pt is batshit crazy. Lol

  • Susan Barclay

    Blair – as your unofficial risk manager please pontificate!

  • Susan Barclay

    Blair – as your unofficial risk manager please pontificate!

  • Mindy Evangelisti

    And…. I have an old long white fur coat and live right next to Vegas!!! ;)

  • Mindy Evangelisti

    And…. I have an old long white fur coat and live right next to Vegas!!! ;)

  • Mindy Evangelisti

    Oh my god! That made my day!

  • Mindy Evangelisti

    Oh my god! That made my day!

  • Vicki Rexrode McCampbell

    Freakin’ hilarious! Thanks for sharing!

  • Holly Hingley Grospitch

    Tyler Morrison Terri Munger Morrison I’m not sure if either of you follow Gomerblog but if you don’t you should. HILARIOUS stuff. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry. You’re welcome.

  • Scott Pango

    Awwww man… As an intern I was trying to perfect my 5 page DC summary :(

  • Robert Avram

    LOLLL Lior Bibas Dan BG Tran

  • Gomerblog

    That’s it, we need to make a plague doctor costume!! Know where we can get some sweet beaks?

  • Steven Kidder

    This is… satire, I guess? #UCH

  • Steve Balint

    But the med reconciliation will still take a half hour on the EMR…

  • Debbie Schneider

    I was a medical transcriptionist for 16 years. I would have found this hilarious, and then I would have been really annoyed at the waste of time and lack of money (working on production) that this cost me LOL.

  • Matthew Wasco

    Lol, would still be a 35 page document though.

  • Christine Chung

    Hilarious

  • Don Milligan

    But by the time you get the EHR notification, it will still be 50 pages long!

  • Gomerblog

    It was you that wrote the no worder SOAP note! http://gomerblog.wpengine.com/2014/12/soap-note/

  • ZDoggMD

    Gomerblog fly your a** out to Vegas and be in the video! #BounceBounceBounceBounceBounceBounceBack

  • John Muthama

    Run for your life!

  • Gomerblog

    ZDoggMD This is amazing!!

  • Cassandra Brown

    Peta Enbom

  • ZDoggMD

    Now we just need to shoot the video. Fur white coat, anyone?

  • Camie Wright

    That’s the funniest one of those I’ve heard! Another readmission, no love from Joint Commission… LOL

  • Setu Modi

    Yup that’s the way it should be

  • Sneha Neps

    Setu Modi lol ortho discharge summaries

  • Kelly Finley Brown

    I’m forced to because I work in Care Management. I really appreciate the “get to the point” attitude of the discharging physician!! Kudos Doc!!

  • Jennifer Bein Rowlinson

    D/C: Stop doing heroin

  • Zubin Damania

    Sounds like a recipe for “bounce bounce bounce back”: https://soundcloud.com/zdoggmd/readmission-remix-r-kelly-parody

  • Linda Ranne Barberi

    “May go.”

  • Matty Walker

    Dave Zbrojkiewicz

  • Naveen Weeratunga

    David Becker, we will break new ground for Medicine.

  • Wayne E Gold

    I was being a little sarcastic….

  • Becky Alexander

    please, please if nothing else, put the WB and brace orders in the summary

  • Becky Alexander

    I do. I work in a SNF. they are pretty necessary for the pts care after the hospital

  • Heidi Shukralla

    Dan Dan Clarke

  • Michael Montazeri

    Venit, vidissem, eum abiit.

  • Catherine Moore

    Suren Senthi

  • Beau Ellenbecker

    Reminds me of my hospital group…

  • Laurie Gess Phillips

    I’m torn between wanting the line count or dying of boredom!

  • Alex Nesbitt

    haha this sounds about right

  • Kristina Wehnke Rosu

    Right?

  • Ari Elman

    Seems like you either only work in a hospital or are part of a surgical service. Of course plenty of people read them.

  • Josh Conroy

    Alex Nesbitt

  • Akshay Hungenahally

    #NOF ORIF WBAT F/U 5/7

  • Caroline Herron

    Dawn Costello !

  • Wayne E Gold

    Has anyone ever actually read a discharge summary?…

  • Lauren Wolf

    Pt @ baseline. Regular meds. F/up w GP, 7/52.

  • Bill Clark

    I can do one in two words

    Paws
    Up

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

9.5K Shares