WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a news conference held early this morning, NASA astronomers announced they have discovered a new planet next to Pluto with features unlike Earth or any other planet discovered to date.  The new planet has been named OD 2020.

new planet
Rivers of lava and what appears to be a large volcano

“It’s a beautiful albeit peculiar looking planet,” said excited NASA astronomer Timothy Fovea.  “It’s a red planet like Mars but characterized by a massive equatorial volcano, which feeds numerous large rivers of pure pulsating lava.  We’ve seen nothing like it.”

Colleague and fellow NASA astronomer Mary Amsler added with awe: “It’s like a pink eye in the sky.”

The discovery was first made after the New Horizons probe passed next to Pluto.  NASA astronomers were overjoyed and ecstatic, but they took the time to perform confirmatory testing before making the announcement today.  These tests included dilating the images and measuring intraplanetary pressures (IPP).

“We believe that OD 2020 is not very accommodating,” further explains NASA astronomer Christopher Schlemm.  “Despite the volcano and lava, the planet appears to be very gelatinous.  Unlike our Earth, which is made up of the crust, mantle, outer core, and inner core, OS 2020 is made up of a cornea, anterior and posterior chambers, and vitreous.  Finally, though we haven’t found it yet, we believe OD 2020 to have a Great Blind Spot, similar to Jupiter’s Great Red Spot.”

OD 2020 is located close to the nearby planetary system Alpha Chalazion.

Though not yet confirmed, NASA astronomers are awaiting further images from New Horizons since they believe OD 2020 may have a nearby sister planet.

“We hope to acquire several more useful images over the next few days,” commented Karen Drusen, lead astronomer in the search for OD 2020’s sister planet.  “But if I had to guess, this sister planet will be to the left.”

Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.