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CHARLESTON, SC – During a recent press conference, America’s top pulmonologists confirmed that breathing is extremely important and necessary for maintaining the function of several vital organs.  The lone dissenting pulmonologist admitted that breathing is likely important, but would like to see more research first.

breathingI would urge every American to continue taking breaths on a daily basis,” stated David Gozal, president of the American Thoracic Society and outspoken proponent of breathing.  “It doesn’t do you any good to stop breathing.  In fact, not breathing can lead to a whole bunch of other problems.”

The literature does seem to back up Dr. Gozal’s claim that taking periodic, life-sustaining breaths are important for overall well-being.  In a recent publication by the New England Journal of Medicine, not breathing was found to increase the risk of headache, muscle pain, syncope, and even death in some cases.   The study goes on to claim that the lungs, or “breathing muscles,” are primarily responsible for making breath.  Without them, patients will reportedly have a difficult time continuing to breathe properly.

“I’ve seen it over and over again,” reported Gozal.  “A patient stops breathing and pretty soon they are in a heap of trouble.  I don’t care how many breaths you take.  Big breaths, small breaths, fast breaths, slow breaths, they all help maintain your general health.  We even breathe a great big breath when we yawn, so that will help too.”

If you are not sure if you are breathing, pulmonologists urge people to quickly breathe into their freezer.  If you can see your breath, then you can rest assured that you are breathing appropriately.

Research into breathing is ongoing.  Investigators at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) are trying to determine the significance of involuntary sharp inhalation right before a sneeze.  Also, an ongoing study out of Duke Medical Center is trying to evaluate how we keep breathing when we are asleep even though we aren’t even thinking about it.

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Dr. Glaucomflecken
Following a successful career as a doctor impersonator, Dr. Glaucomflecken decided to attend a real, accredited medical school and residency program. Now he spends his time treating eyeballs, occasionally forgetting that they belong to an actual human body. Dr. Glaucomflecken specializes in knowing where to look when talking to somebody with a lazy eye. He started writing for GomerBlog after being told to “publish or perish.” Follow me on Twitter @DGlaucomflecken