smug medical student
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Philadelphia – An especially qualified applicant to medical school was distraught at finding 25 identical rejection emails in his inbox on March 15. It seems the reason is an unusual one – he is too good of an applicant.

smug medical studentAustin Bourgeois is a 21-year-old ambitious student who checks all of the boxes. He boasts a 4.0 GPA, has 3 publications in peer-reviewed journals, and has arranged a series of singles events for patients in long-term hospital care. But despite this impressive series of accolades, it seems Austin will not be reaching his main goal: attending medical school in the fall.

“I did everything! I started a support group for people who have lost pets to street cleaning accidents – that means I have compassion. I play D-1 doubles tennis, which means I know how to work well with others. I learned to crochet so they new I was dexterous enough to be a surgeon!” Mr. Bourgeois cut the remainder of the interview short to resume crying.

There have been very few confirmed cases of rejections due to overqualification. However, this excuse is commonly used as the reason that narcissist residents took an extra year before enrolling in medical school.

Upon contacting several schools about Mr. Bourgeois’s application, these schools had a common refrain: he was making the other applicants look bad. “We have never seen someone like him before,” roared Lawrence Bellows IV, dean of admissions at Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA. “I’m going to be honest with you – with his MCAT score, empathic personality, and all-around talent, the rest of our class looked pretty mediocre. This way was just easier than rewriting all of the standards.”

Harvard Medical School could not be reached for comment, as emails cannot penetrate the ivory tower.

Austin says that he will not let this result dissuade him from his dream of becoming a physician. He plans to reapply after the IPO of his medical devices company, planned for January 2019.

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