Med Student Struggling to Fit C-Collar onto Woman’s Cervix

BALTIMORE, MD – A first-year medical student at The Hoppin’ Johns University is struggling to place a woman’s cervix into a C-collar this morning.

“You plan to do what with that?” asked patient Heather Hansard, unclear if she had heard the student correctly.

“This is called a cervical collar, so it needs to be placed around your cervix,” commented medical student Ryan Woods, who is two parts nervous, one part confused, and three parts hopeless. “It will help stabilize it.”

“Don’t you mean it should placed around my neck? My… everything down there is just fine,” Hansard insisted, trying to stand her ground without hurting the student’s feelings. She presented to the emergency room with neck pain after her car was rear-ended.

“No, that’s what a neck brace is for,” replied Woods.

As much as we really wanted to let this play out, Gomerblog has intervened to prevent this poor woman from being subjected to a pelvic neck brace. We have also patted Woods on the head and said, “There, there. There, there.” He been sent to the timeout cage to think about what he did.