Emergency Medicine

easter egg hunt human orifices

Record Number of Drug Seekers Expected for Annual Easter Dilaudid Hunt

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BALDWIN, NY - The Easter Dilaudid Hunt at Baldwin Medical Center (BMC) is going all out.  This weekend, 30,000 drug seekers are expected to...
Bell Biv Devoe

Toxicologist Bell Biv DeVoe Confirms: ‘That Girl is Poison’

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BOSTON, MA - After "sensing something strange in my mind" for a few days now, Boston emergency physician and toxiciologist Dr. Bell Biv DeVoe has...

Effort in Safety: Nurse Requests Patient’s Identification 150 Times in 1 Shift

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BOSTON, MA - Nurse Tracy Painter, RN, BSN, now holds a national record.  In the course of one ER shift, she asked the same...
routine ECG

Local EKG Tech Reassigned Due to Voluptuous Breasts

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MIAMI, FL – EKG tech Candi Jacobs has been working at Mercy Hospital for two years.  She was recently reassigned; hospital administration stated the...
nasal cannula

Patient Placed on 4,000 Liters by Nasal Cannula

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SPOKANE, WA - Sometimes you have to think outside the box. That's exactly what a rapid response team did this morning: In a...

Game of Thrones HMOs Going Bankrupt

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KINGS LANDING, WESTERNOS - Following a three-year onslaught of unexpected increases in operating cost, all five major health maintenance organization (HMO) companies serving the Seven...
Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty Wakes Up After Single Dose of Narcan

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MEDIEVAL ENGLAND - In a last ditch effort to prevent intubation for airway protection, Sleeping Beauty - also known as Princess Aurora, the daughter of...
loser health care job

This Just In: Your Health Care Job Sucks

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Hey YOU, that’s right, I’m talking to you. Gomerblog just wanted to take some time to let you know that your job sucks. Really....
mood ring

Mood Rings Reflect Real Time Patient Satisfaction

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COLUMBIA, SC - Due to lagging patient satisfaction scores and frequent complaints, County Hospital administrators are fitting every patient with a mood ring so staff...

Friday Afternoon Clinic Patient Surprisingly Sent to the Emergency Department

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – The emergency department at Queen’s Hospital had a very rare event occur this Friday afternoon.  74-year-old Wilma Gooding, checked into the emergency...