PyeongChang Update: Shirtless Tongan Hospitalized with Hypothermia
PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA - Sadly, we knew it was bound to happen: Tongan athlete Pita Taufatofua, also known as the Shirtless Tongan, has just...
IBM’s Watson Suffers Existential Crisis After Shift in ED
CAMDEN, NJ – IBM is reporting that famed super computer Watson suffered one of its biggest setbacks to date. “After our success in diagnosing...
Medicare to Use Physician and Nurse Surveys to Rate Patients for Compensation
WASHINGTON, DC - Medicare announced groundbreaking plans to use physician and nurse surveys to rate their patients by 2017 as a measure to set “individualized”...
Area Dog Vomits, Directed to Human ER by Veterinary Clinic on Friday Afternoon
FAIRFAX, VA - Rusty, a local 4-year-old labrador retriever who had a few episodes of vomiting, was sent to the emergency department last Friday...
New ABCs of Emergency Medicine, “Airway, Breathing, CT Scan, Disposition”
WASHINGTON, D.C. - New practice-changing guidelines for resuscitation in the emergency department were released just ahead of the American College of Emergency Physicians (ACEP) meeting...
Breaking: Facebook Placed on Pressors to Fix Plummeting Stocks
MENLO PARK, CA - With its stock value plummeting precipitously in the past 48 hours, Facebook has been started on pressors with lactated ringers...
Patient Literally Sweats His Balls Off
JACKSONVILLE, FL - Patient Don Fernando arrived to Mercy Hospital's ER with a chief complaint of "I'm sweating my balls off!" Don was passed over for hours...
Military Training to Now Include Walking Through Busy ER Wearing White Coat
ST. LOUIS, MO – Military training regardless of service branch has been known for its physical and mental demands. To further push the psychological...
GI Consultant Thrilled To Hear About Guaiac Positive Formed Stool At 3 AM
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Second-year gastroenterology fellow Dr. I. Scopalot was flabbergasted to hear about an unusual case of guaiac-positive stool found in the emergency department...