Cardiology

heavy metal

Heavy Metal Now First Line in Treatment of Symptomatic Bradycardia

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DALLAS, TX - New advanced cardiac life support (ACLS) guidelines from the American Heart Association (AHA) now recommends heavy metal as the first line treatment of symptomatic bradycardia. "Last year, a pivotal study found that...

Internist Able to Hear Heart Sounds Using Disposable Stethoscope

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CHICAGO, IL – In what is believed to have been a first, Dr. Dick Andersen legitimately heard heart sounds using a disposable “MRSA stethoscope” this week. Long criticized for being far better at being disposable...
Cardio vs Neph

American College of Cardiology Seen Publically Fighting with the American Society of Nephrology

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WASHINGTON, DC - The American College of Cardiology (ACC) is currently refusing to talk to the American Society of Nephrology (ASN).  Sources say the fight rekindled at a medical mixer when the ASN thought the punch bowl needed...
heparin bridge 85

I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d

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ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed on Anesthesia, finally has a therapeutic INR of 2.45, and...

Patient Suffers “Partial” Cardiac Arrest

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BOSTON, MA—After years of seeing patients who were reported in the news media to have been found in “full cardiac arrest,” emergency physicians at Doctors University Hospital are stunned to see the first ever...

Trump Tweets About More Medical Specialties

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President Trump has gone back to Twitter to tweet about some of the specialties he forgot in his first tweetstorm!