BREAKING: Kim Jong-un Not Quite as Dead as His Surgeon Will Soon Be
Pyongyang, North Korea - Reports have been coming out that North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un's health is in grave danger after a cardiac procedure. Allegedly, the anus-free Dictator allegedly had a cardiac procedure...
Tips: How to Keep Your Necktie Nice & Colonized
So who doesn’t love neckties? Not only do they strangle your windpipe, but they also spread disease with reckless abandon. Cheers to that! Here are some of our favorite ways at GomerBlog to help...
Members of Congress may be in permanent cardiac arrest, study find
Washington (DC). Research published today revealed that many of our politicians may be essentially dead, or close to dead. The study used data mining to evaluate heart rate profile of Washington senators and representatives...
Most Popular Medical Questions of 2016 by State
2016 is complete, and we combed through the data at Google to find out what were the most popular medical questions asked by state (click the map to enlarge):
What is New England's obsession with...
No Matter the Symptom, Local Cardiologist Pretty Convinced It’s an Anginal Equivalent
ATLANTA, GA - No matter the symptom, no matter the severity, and no matter the location, onset, or duration, local cardiologist Willie McCray is pretty convinced that your complaint, whatever and wherever it may...
Review: Lesser-Known Variants of the Precordial Thump
The precordial thump is a technique by which a health care professionals thumps the chest of a patient in ventricular fibrillation or pulseless ventricular tachycardia when a defibrillator is not present. It has a...
Contrary to Consultant’s Advice, Doctor is Now Hesitant to Call Back with Any Questions
AUSTIN, TX - After admitting a patient with end-stage congestive heart failure, third-year internal medicine resident Amanda Cummings consulted the cardiology service to help with management. Cardiology was happy to see the patient, and...
Cardiologist Excited to Cath Winner of Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest
CONEY ISLAND, NY - Less than 24 hours away from the annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest on the Coney Island boardwalk, Mount Sinai cardiologist Maxine Richter is absolutely giddy with emotion as she...
Badass: Cardiologist Stents Own Proximal LAD Just ‘Cause He Can
NASHVILLE, TN - In a dazzling display of both self-sufficiency and badassery, Vanderbilt cardiologist Dr. Barnett Timberland has just successfully stented his own proximal LAD (left anterior descending coronary artery) just because he can. ...
Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory
DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine. This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals nationwide.
Protamine comes from the sperm of salmon. At the largest...