Patient Suffers “Partial” Cardiac Arrest
BOSTON, MA—After years of seeing patients who were reported in the news media to have been found in “full cardiac arrest,” emergency physicians at Doctors University Hospital are stunned to see the first ever...
Dammit, It’s a Ruse! Nystatin Isn’t a Statin After All
BETHESDA, MD - The medical world is at a loss for words after scientists at the National Institute of Health (NIH) dropped the megaton bombshell that nystatin isn't a real statin after all. That's...
Covid-19 Prevention: New AICD Delivers Shock Whenever You Touch Your Face
VOLTAGE, OR—In what can only be described as “shocking” news, the FDA recently approved a novel implantable cardioverter-defibrillator that not only senses dangerous arrhythmias but also doubles as a Covid-19-prevention device. Indeed, this new...
Trump Tweets About More Medical Specialties
President Trump has gone back to Twitter to tweet about some of the specialties he forgot in his first tweetstorm!
Internist Able to Hear Heart Sounds Using Disposable Stethoscope
CHICAGO, IL – In what is believed to have been a first, Dr. Dick Andersen legitimately heard heart sounds using a disposable “MRSA stethoscope” this week.
Long criticized for being far better at being disposable...
Racehorse Confirms He’s Peeing Like a Human on Lasix
LOUISVILLE, KY - A 4-year-old thoroughbred and racehorse named I's & O's has confirmed with Gomerblog that he is not only peeing but peeing profusely, like a human on Lasix (furosemide).
"No question, I'm urinating...
HHS Announces New Crack Down on Illicit Cardiac Massage Parlors
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Officials from the Department of Health and Human Services Monday announced a joint operation with Departments of Homeland Security and the Federal Bureau of Investigation to crack down on illicit cardiac...
Physical Exam Tips: The Heart
In this series, we review the physical exam, the intermediate step in a patient evaluation that ultimately leads to imaging. There are so many means by which to evaluate a patient, the best of...
Cardiac Cath Clearance: A Rant from the Renal Fellow
Thank you very much for this very interesting consult for clearance for cardiac catheterization in this lovely man who is unfortunately having a myocardial infarction and needs some contrast dye. Even if his estimated...
Breaking: Tilt Table All Crooked & Sh*t
ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, hospitalists, cardiologists, and neurologists at Emory Healthcare have come to a rare consensus, agreeing this tilt table is all crooked & sh*t.
"Look at it, just look...