Nursing Student

Nursing student satire

Fortune Cookies Replace Lotto Numbers with Vital Signs

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BROOKLYN, NY - In an effort to appeal to health care professionals who order Chinese food for take out because the cafeteria is closed, fortune...
potluck

Top 10 Ways to Get Invited to the Nurses’ Infamous Potluck Dinners

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Physicians, if you haven’t heard of or been to some of the nurses’ break room potluck dinners you probably aren’t doing any of the...
call button nursing lockout interval

American Nurses Association Approves Call Lights with Lockout Intervals

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SILVER SPRING, MD - In an effort to bolster nursing satisfaction, the American Nurses Association (ANA) have unanimously approved the replacement of current call...
Foley, bloodbath

Patient Can’t Wait to Yank Out Foley, Cause Bloodbath

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ATLANTA, GA - In exciting news today, patient Arnold Starks has announced that later today he will yank out his Foley with "full force...
iv pca infusion pump WiFi

Study: Doctors Can’t Operate an IV Infusion Pump Even If Life Depended On It

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BALDWIN, NY - A new study in the New England Journal of Alaris (NEJA) confirmed something we knew all along: doctors can't operate an IV...

Former United Security Guard Landed on Feet as Nurse-Assaulting Cop

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Former United Security Guard and all-around jerk-face Jeff Payne was very concerned he wouldn't be able to find employment after...

Nurse Has License Suspended for Ordering Wrong Sandwich

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Rebekah Harris had her nursing license suspended indefinitely on Tuesday when administrators learned she ordered her ICU patient the incorrect sandwich.  "She delivered...
angry nurse

Book Review: Chicken Soup For the Bitter Angry Nurse’s Soul

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Chicken Soup for the Soul has released a new book catering solely to the bitter, angry nurse. The franchise's latest installment focuses on personal...
mimosa

Night Shift Nurse Associates Sunrise with Mimosas

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28-year-old nightshift nurse Rene Wilkins has come to appreciate sunrise for several reasons, one to include drinking multiple mimosas at John’s Breakfast Hut at...