Nursing Student

Nursing student satire

chloride

Breaking: Nurse Initiates Lesser-Known Chloride Repletion Protocol

0
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Nurse Jess Casamento of Ochsner Medical Center is one of the best when it comes to repleting electrolytes: potassium, magnesium, even...

Local ER Offering Pain Meds Freebased, or Heated on a Spoon and Injected

0
NORFOLK, VA – Local ER is now offering patients the option of their pain medication freebased or heated on a spoon and injected.  “We...
nursing diagnosis

Report: Ability to Wear Scrubs to Work is Only Thing Keeping Health Care Professionals...

0
CHICAGO, IL - According to a recent poll of nearly 20,000 health care professionals jointly conducted by the American Academy of Physician Assistants (AAPA), American...
call button nursing lockout interval

American Nurses Association Approves Call Lights with Lockout Intervals

0
SILVER SPRING, MD - In an effort to bolster nursing satisfaction, the American Nurses Association (ANA) have unanimously approved the replacement of current call...
nurse eye roll

Breaking News: Nurse’s Eyes Get Stuck After Aggressive Eye Roll

0
ORLANDO, FL - Beth Stanfield, a middle-aged nurse, was transported to the ophthalmology department earlier today when her eyes got stuck in an aggressive...
Nursing Pages Per Shift

New Study: Physician Douche Level Correlates With Number Of Nursing Pages Per Shift

0
HARTFORD, CT - A new study published in JAMA this week demonstrated a direct correlation between the physician douche level (PDL) and and the number...
angry nurse

Book Review: Chicken Soup For the Bitter Angry Nurse’s Soul

0
Chicken Soup for the Soul has released a new book catering solely to the bitter, angry nurse. The franchise's latest installment focuses on personal...
foley catheter

Clumsy Intern Keeps Tripping Over Patients’ Foley Catheters

31
BOULDER, CO - Patients, nurses, and urologists at Boulder Medical Center are starting to lose patience with intern Willie Johnson, who despite being incredibly...
trespasses, nurses station

Doctor Trespasses into Nurses Station, Shot on Sight

0
NORFOLK, VA - Internist Jeff Jenkins is face down and comatose on the fourth floor of Norfolk Medical Center after being shot in the...
ACTH stim test serum cortisol

New ACTH Stim Test Measures Serum Cortisol Every Minute

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Today new guidelines released by the Endocrine Society (ES) encourage modification of the standard high-dose ACTH stimulation test with measurement of...