Patient Leaps to Death After Hospital TV Stuck on The View, Joint Commission Investigating
OMAHA, NE - Burpelson Hospital is investigating the apparent suicide of patient Grover Downs on the 13-East psychiatric unit. Mr. Downs, an 84-year-old man...
Top 10 Ways to Get Invited to the Nurses’ Infamous Potluck Dinners
Physicians, if you haven’t heard of or been to some of the nurses’ break room potluck dinners you probably aren’t doing any of the...
Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50
ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
Nurse Assigned to Shake Empty Toner Cartridge Every 5 Minutes
LOUISVILLE, KY - As punishment for not charting a respiratory rate other than 16, first-year nurse Randy Tolbert has been relegated from patient care...
CDC Recommends Against Finding Hypodermic Needles in a Haystack
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says there is minimal risk associated with the search for a regular needle in...
Study Finds No Nurses Station Exists With 1:1 Ratio of Computers to Chairs
BOSTON, MA - A landmark study published in the Just-Like-New England Journal of Medicine has confirmed that no nurses station in any health care...
97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets
BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...
Hero Nurse Wins the Coveted Golden Bladder Award
MOUNT CARMEL, PA - Local ER nurse Jada Adams was recently recognized for her uncanny ability to retain large amounts of urine in her...
The Truth Comes Out: Wound Care Team Actually Doesn’t Care About Wound
MOUNT LAUREL, NJ - Brace yourselves, a long-assumed notion once held about a certain class of health care professionals has just been completely obliterated:...
Study: Doctors Can’t Operate an IV Infusion Pump Even If Life Depended On It
BALDWIN, NY - A new study in the New England Journal of Alaris (NEJA) confirmed something we knew all along: doctors can't operate an IV...