Meet the New Hospital Swiss Army Commode
FORT LAUDERDALE, FL – The makers of the Swiss Army Knife, Victorinox, appears to have hit a home run with patients and providers this...
Meet CrossSh*t, The High-Intensity Bowel Program
SANTA CRUZ, CA - The founders of CrossFit Greg Glassman and Lauren Jenai have announced the creation of a new strength and conditioning program to...
Nurse Has License Suspended for Ordering Wrong Sandwich
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Rebekah Harris had her nursing license suspended indefinitely on Tuesday when administrators learned she ordered her ICU patient the incorrect sandwich. "She delivered...
Wonder Woman Throws Boomerang Tiara, Knocks Call Light Out of Evildoer Patient’s Hand
THEMYSCIRA - After a nurse pleaded for her assistance, Wonder Woman has helped thwart the persistent annoyances of a button-happy patient by using her...
Nursing Student Enters OR Without Shoe Covers: Beatings Commence
WARWICK, RI - The student nurse stared nervously at the blood-red line bisecting the hallway. Scrub hat and surgical mask, check. Full breakfast and...
Nurse Olympics: Results
CHICAGO, IL – The host hospital of this year's Nurse Olympics, Chicago General, is now recovering after all the fanfare. Nurses came from all...
Night Shift Nurse Associates Sunrise with Mimosas
28-year-old nightshift nurse Rene Wilkins has come to appreciate sunrise for several reasons, one to include drinking multiple mimosas at John’s Breakfast Hut at...
CDC Recommends Not Tying Gown in Back to Promote Airflow Through Ass Crack
ATLANTA, GA - After a thorough review of the evidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) will make the formal recommendation that...
NASA Nurses Still Awaiting Callback from Extraterrestrial Docs
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Saying it's been well over 45 minutes since they had sent the pages, nurses at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration...
As Americans Get Fatter, Nursing Recruits More Football Players and Weightlifters
ATLANTA, GA — An old joke asks, “What do you call a nurse with a bad back?” The punchline is “unemployed.” As Americans get...