Nursing Student

Nursing student satire

Fortune Cookies Replace Lotto Numbers with Vital Signs

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BROOKLYN, NY - In an effort to appeal to health care professionals who order Chinese food for take out because the cafeteria is closed, fortune...
sponge bath

New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”

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CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside...
angry nurse

Top 10 Ways to Really Piss Your Nurse Off

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Ever wonder how you can really piss off your nurse taking care of you in the hospital?  If you are like most of us,...
nurses getting awards

Plastic Trophy Nursing Awards Given in North Carolina

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RALEIGH, NC - North Carolina has the proud distinction of being the first state in the country to require nurse licensure.  In 1903, the...
CrossSh*t

Meet CrossSh*t, The High-Intensity Bowel Program

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SANTA CRUZ, CA - The founders of CrossFit Greg Glassman and Lauren Jenai have announced the creation of a new strength and conditioning program to...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Finding Hypodermic Needles in a Haystack

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says there is minimal risk associated with the search for a regular needle in...
caps lock

NURSE SUSPENDED FOR WRITING NOTES IN CAPS LOCK

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NORFOLK, VA - NURSE AMANDA HAN WAS SUSPENDED EARLY THIS MORNING BY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION FOR THE SAME OFFENSE YET AGAIN: ALWAYS WRITING HER NOTES...

Surgeon Rips on Nurses, Hospitalists, and ER Docs, and Twitter Delivers a Massive Takedown

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TWITTERVERSE - A colorectal surgeon posted a rant about the care he received in an odd location "Psychology Today." The rant, which since has...
nurse olympics

Nurse Olympics: Results

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CHICAGO, IL – The host hospital of this year's Nurse Olympics, Chicago General, is now recovering after all the fanfare.  Nurses came from all...