Nurse O.J. Simpson Can’t Ever Get a Glove to Fit
BRENTWOOD, CA - Geez, O.J. Simpson just can't get a break! He has been asked over and over again to go into a patient's...
New ACTH Stim Test Measures Serum Cortisol Every Minute
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Today new guidelines released by the Endocrine Society (ES) encourage modification of the standard high-dose ACTH stimulation test with measurement of...
Exhausted RN to Go Home with Home Health Services
FORT MYERS, FL - Deconditioned, weak, and perpetually hypoglycemic from such a prolonged hospital shift, exhausted RN Catherine Weal will be sent home with...
Breaking News: Nurse’s Eyes Get Stuck After Aggressive Eye Roll
ORLANDO, FL - Beth Stanfield, a middle-aged nurse, was transported to the ophthalmology department earlier today when her eyes got stuck in an aggressive...
Hospital Staff Deciding If Cup at Nurses Station is Filled With Urine-Colored Tea or...
BOCA RATON, FL - The hospital staff at St. Maria-De-Madrigal-Del-Toro-Del-Mar Boca Ratón Community Hospital have spent the last four hours debating whether the unidentified...
Estrogen Toxicity Spectrum Disorder
A recent study by the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill has identified categorized the strange personality and behavior changes of male nursing...
Pyxis Replaces Lin-Manuel Miranda in “Hamilton”
NEW YORK, NY - It's official: Lin-Manuel Miranda's replacement in the critically-acclaimed Broadway smash "Hamilton" is none other than the beloved Pyxis MedStation System, who...
Uber Offers In-Hospital Patient Transport with UberGURNEY
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Uber’s success knows no bounds. After infiltrating cities across the world with their groundbreaking online-based transportation service, Uber is infiltrating...
97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets
BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...
Today is National Destroy Your Pyxis with a Sledgehammer Day
SILVER SPRING, MD - Nurses, it’s time to rejoice! The American Nurses Association (ANA) has officially declared today National Destroy Your Pyxis with a...