Nursing Student

Nursing student satire

tatoo

Study Finds Needle Anxiety Worsens with Tattoos

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BALTIMORE, MD - Johns Hopkins researchers published a shocking new study in this month's New England Journal of Medicine showing a correlation between the...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Finding Hypodermic Needles in a Haystack

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says there is minimal risk associated with the search for a regular needle in...
moon placement

Placement Tips: How to Place a Patient on the Moon

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If there's something social workers and hospitalists are really good at it's placement.  But every once in a while a difficult placement comes along....
turkey sandwich haldol diets

Ultra Breaking News: Patient Doesn’t Want Turkey Sandwich

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NORFOLK, VA - Gomerblog brings you a startling development: A patient hospitalized at an area hospital in Norfolk has caught his inpatient medical team...
male nurses

10 Phrases Male Nurses Love to Hear

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Being male and in nursing certainly has its challenges some days.  Most male nurses wake up each day and hope to hear at least...
empty toner cartridge

Nurse Assigned to Shake Empty Toner Cartridge Every 5 Minutes

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LOUISVILLE, KY - As punishment for not charting a respiratory rate other than 16, first-year nurse Randy Tolbert has been relegated from patient care...
Wonder Woman tiara

Wonder Woman Throws Boomerang Tiara, Knocks Call Light Out of Evildoer Patient’s Hand

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THEMYSCIRA - After a nurse pleaded for her assistance, Wonder Woman has helped thwart the persistent annoyances of a button-happy patient by using her...

Nurse Entering Thirty-Sixth Hour Trapped in Med Room Trying to Return Med to Pyxis

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An on-going watch continues at Northshore Memorial Hospital as Tracy Smith, RN, is stuck at the pyxis trying to return an extra dose of...
sponge bath

New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”

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CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside...
confused resident

MD Aware: Intern Disputes His Actually Being “Aware” in RN Note

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CINCINNATI, OH - Emdee Awahray, an intern covering the general medicine floor overnight, has disputed the claim made by an RN in her overnight...