Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop
EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes...
Printer at Nurses Station Celebrates Its 10th Straight Year without Toner
NASHVILLE, TN - Congratulations! Today, the printer labelled prntr04 at the fourth floor nurses station in Saint Thomas Midtown Hospital is celebrating its 10th straight...
‘Hospital Medicine’ Renamed ‘Placement Medicine’
PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Society of Hospital Medicine (SHM) has announced that effective January 1, 2017, the specialty known as Hospital Medicine will be...
The Truth Comes Out: Wound Care Team Actually Doesn’t Care About Wound
MOUNT LAUREL, NJ - Brace yourselves, a long-assumed notion once held about a certain class of health care professionals has just been completely obliterated:...
CDC Recommends Against Finding Hypodermic Needles in a Haystack
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says there is minimal risk associated with the search for a regular needle in...
Plastic Trophy Nursing Awards Given in North Carolina
RALEIGH, NC - North Carolina has the proud distinction of being the first state in the country to require nurse licensure. In 1903, the...
Rookie Mistake: July Intern Grabs Cup of Decaf Coffee, Defeats the Purpose Entirely
NASHVILLE, TN - In a situation that can be described in no other way but shocking, neophyte July intern Elena Sanchez grabbed a cup...
In Catastrophic Med-School Blunder, Student Gives Actual Feedback About Rotation
In a rare but highly consequential faux pas, third-year medical student Kevin Garlander gave his actual opinion when asked about the quality of his...