‘Hospital Medicine’ Renamed ‘Placement Medicine’
PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Society of Hospital Medicine (SHM) has announced that effective January 1, 2017, the specialty known as Hospital Medicine will be...
New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”
CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside...
Teaching Team Consults Magic 8-Ball for Assistance
NEW YORK, NY - "Will my patient need placement?" intern Jamie Dreessen asked the Magic 8-Ball, shaking it solidly for 15-seconds before placing it on...
Valentine’s Day Tease: Stethoscopes in Sexy Positions
WARNING: The following images of sexy stethoscopes in suggestive positions are appropriate only for health care providers older than the age of 18. (Click...
Nurse Confesses She’s Just In It To Get Yelled At
AUSTIN, TX - Nurse Regan Ludwig recently admitted to ABC News that she works incredibly hard as a nurse because she just loves getting...
Medcomic: Pen the Doctor Borrowed
Pen the Doctor Borrowed (PTDB) is a condition that occurs when a student loans their pen to a preceptor and never sees it returned....
Study: Doctors Can’t Operate an IV Infusion Pump Even If Life Depended On It
BALDWIN, NY - A new study in the New England Journal of Alaris (NEJA) confirmed something we knew all along: doctors can't operate an IV...
Wound Care Nurse Calls Pressure Ulcer a Rare “Stage 5”
BOSTON, MA - Nurse Amy Johnson has seen some pretty bad sacral decubitus ulcers in her long career as a wound care nurse, but...
Littmann to Produce Separate Doctor and Nurse Stethoscopes Thanks to ‘The View’
NEW YORK, NY - "Why didn’t we think of that?" was the overwhelming question asked today by executives at Littmann, a company that produces...
CDC Recommends Not Tying Gown in Back to Promote Airflow Through Ass Crack
ATLANTA, GA - After a thorough review of the evidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) will make the formal recommendation that...