SILVER SPRING, MD – The American Nurses Association (ANA) made a shocking announcement today: Over 93% of Nurses would benefit from a new proposal to increase the minimum wage of fast food employees to $15/hour, if they can convince legislators be included in this leading group.
“We believe that enough evidence now exists to push legislation forward for nurses to be included in this group,” vowed ANA president, Pam Cipriano. “These days there are lots of similarities between fast food employees and nurses. Both serve and prepare food. Both work early in the morning and late at night. Both cater to hungry patrons. Both take orders, refill drinks, and clean tables. Nurses should be compensated just as much as our fast food employees.”
“Nursing school is nothing compared to McDonald’s Burger School,” stated RN Robert Wakers, with emphasis on RN standing for Refreshments and Narcotics. “Those guys work their butts off and the amount of studying to pass their Fry exam makes our tests look like amateur hour. But, I’m really hoping we can get legislators to lump us into their group.”
“This would really help me pay off my student loans if I could start making at least $15 an hour,” voiced Kelly Witherpoon, a recent nursing graduate. “I hope to break even in about 8 years.”
With hospital administrators now outnumbering nurses and doctors combined, many administrators are worried about potential salary increases to $15 an hour. “We aren’t sure our current health care model is sustainable if we had to raise our compensation to nurses,” said Mike Drookers, a hospital administrator making over $300,000 a year. “If this law passes, we may be forced to lay off more nurses, which may tip the scales on our currently ideal nurse-to-patient ratios.”
Hopefully legislatures will recognize that nurses possess skills similar to fast food employees and they should be treated with equal respect or at least include them in the minimum raise hike.
Many medical and surgical residents are also looking to jump on the bandwagon too, since they come no where close to $15 an hour!