Newborn Nursery’s Infant Capacity Increases 50% by Hiring Former Tetris Champion
ATLANTA, GA – The Newborn Nursery at Swedish Covenant Hospital has seen a dramatic increase in their patient capacity after hiring a former Tetris...
Doctors, Nurses in Disbelief as Even Infants Are Drug-Seeking
ATLANTA, GA - Well, folks, now we’ve seen it all. GomerBlog is sad to break the unfortunate news that the world is descending into...
Veterinarians to Care for Children
DES MOINES, IA - Citing the growing shortage of pediatricians and family medicine doctors in rural areas, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) is set...
Doc McStuffins Caught Sleeping with Lambie, License Suspended
SACRAMENTO, CA - The Medical Board of California suspended the license of Dottie "Doc" McStuffins after allegations arose that she conducted an inappropriate relationship with...
New Study Shows Father’s Breast Milk Improves Babies’ Intelligence over Mother’s Breast Milk
DENVER, CO – AstraZeneca recently announced that its new drug, Milkaman, was approved by the FDA for male breastfeeding. This novel drug causes pectoral muscle cells in...
Enfamil with Adderall Approved for Infantile ADHD
LEXINGTON, MA - Spiral Pharmaceuticals has paired with baby formula giant Enfamil to create the world’s first amphetamine-fortified formula, which will treat a newly...
FDA Approves OxyContin for Kids Tall Enough to Get on This Ride
PHARM WATER KINGDOM, FL - Acknowledging the importance for safe medicine in children, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently approved the potent painkiller OxyContin...
American Academy of Pediatrics Admits That Children Really Are Little Adults
WASHINGTON, DC - A year-long undercover investigation into the American Academy of Pediatrics’ claim that pediatric patient management was distinct from that of adults has...
Ophtho Emergently Consulted to Reattach Mr. Potato Head’s Eyes
BROOKLYN, NY - Emergency room physicians at Maimonides Medical Center did not waste any time consulting ophthalmology to restore the vision of Mr. Potato...
La Leche League Busted for Trafficking Cocaine in Confiscated Similac Containers
CHICAGO, IL - Yesterday, the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) announced that it is making hundreds of arrests after blowing the flexible, Frisbee-style lid off...