Pediatrics

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Plans to Move and Quarantine Unvaccinated Families

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ATLANTA, GA - In a move that is sure to spark controversy and protest, the CDC released Proposition 23.4 yesterday which grants state governments the...
elderly lady

100-Year-Old Finally Ready for Discharge from NICU

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CENTENNIAL, CO—Yesterday, a 1200-month-old newborn, Sandy Genarian, was finally discharged from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of Centennial Medical Center, where he has been...

Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine

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KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in.  Millions of...

Code Brown Forces Hospital Evacuation; SWAT and FBI Called In

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LOS ANGELES, CA - A local medical center was evacuated this morning after a Code Brown in the pediatric wing of the hospital quickly...
puppy pediatrics

Study Finds Puppies, Ice Cream, New Toys Associated with Immediate Cessation of Pediatric Pseudoseizures

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PORTLAND, OR – Researches at the Triarbridge Pediatric Medical Center in North Portland reported recent findings today from their groundbreaking study which found pediatric...
Vegas Urology Show

Urology & Pediatric Departments Gearing Up for Annual ‘Circ du Soleil’

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LAS VEGAS, NV - The Urology and Pediatric Departments at Las Vegas Regional are diligently preparing to host the 6th Annual "Circ du Soleil" extravaganza...
Lego foot pain Dilaudid

CDC Recommends IV Dilaudid to Treat Foot Pain Caused by Stepping on a Stray...

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ATLANTA, GA - Finally acknowledging it as the most painful thing a human being can ever experience, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)...
hospital emergency room boarding

‘Twas the Night After Christmas

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'Twas the Night After Christmas ‘Twas the night after Christmas, at the front of the house, The parents were lined up, all running their mouths. Neb tubing...

Justin Timberlake: I’m Bringing Measles Baaaack

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Recently Justin Timberlake announced to the world that he is not planning to vaccinate his child.  Evidently all the scientific evidence looks different behind...

Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies

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ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency."  They are coming off of...