Pediatrics

medical pager

Tips: How to Treat a Pager That Keeps Going Off Like It Has Seizures

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Sadly, despite all the technological advances we've made, a good portion of health care professionals still carry an object as archaic and arguably less...
Shkreli & Bresch

Breaking: Martin Shkreli & Heather Bresch Are A**holes

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NEW YORK, NY - In a candid interview on CBS News yesterday, Martin Shkreli admitted that "Yes, Heather Bresch and I are a**holes."  Mylan...

Prior Authorization Now Requires Prior Authorization

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WASHINGTON, DC - Prior authorization - the time-sink, inefficient, and soul-sucking process used by health insurance agencies to determine and eventually deny coverage for...
narcan fentanyl nipple

Narconipple Implant Helps Add Opioids to Breastfeeding

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SEATTLE, WA - Narconipple Inc. is pleased to introduce its revolutionary patented product, the Fentanypple.  The Fentanypple is a narcotic breast implant that delivers...
female physician

Physician Still Hasn’t Received Her Big-Pharma Payout

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Newly-minted attending physician, Dr. Lindsay Moliarty, has a pile of bills to pay: $200,000 in student loans that has accrued...
fast train

Tips: How to Perform a Spinal Tap on a Moving Train

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I have to admit: spinal taps (lumbar punctures) are not one of my favorite procedures to perform.  I’m fairly certain our patients don’t enjoy...

“Minions” Movie Linked to Rising Rates of Pediatric Hyperkalemia

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Emergency departments across the country have been seeing an alarming trend of rising rates of pediatric hyperkalemia since summer of last year.  Hyperkalemia, which...

Local Mom Decides Against New Brake Pads

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MICHIGAN - Local mom, Jennifer Leeders, brought in her Acura MDX for its annual maintenance.  Her mechanic recommended new brake pads, a routine recommendation....
joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...

American Academy of Pediatrics Admits That Children Really Are Little Adults

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WASHINGTON, DC - A year-long undercover investigation into the American Academy of Pediatrics’ claim that pediatric patient management was distinct from that of adults has...