Pediatrics

sterile stuffed animals

Pediatric Procedure Kits to Feature Sterile Stuffed Animals

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ORLANDO, FL - The latest guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommend that pediatric procedure kits be standardized to include sterile stuffed animals...
APGAR 10 Apgart Apgar(t) troponin troponins

New Apgar(t) Score to Check Troponins 1 & 5 Minutes After Birth

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) is modifying the Apgar score to an Apgar(t) score in which troponins will...

American Academy of Pediatrics Announces That Whatever You’re Doing Probably Fine

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a surprise announcement early this morning, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) released a new recommendation stating that whatever you’re...
orthopedic surgery kid

Breaking: Ummm Yeah, Fifty Bucks Says This Kid’s Going into Ortho

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MIAMI, FL - Without waiting to see how his prepubescent, teenage, or even college years pan out, Gomerblog is already going to call it: fifty...
surgeon biopsy malignant fusion

Surgery Residents Bring Other MDs to Work for a Day

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5:00 am: Arrive at hospital. Peds and Psych are borderline comatose still. Medicine seems confused to find that the hospital lights work this early in...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Reminder: ‘Sleep Tight and Definitely Do Not Let the Bed Bugs Bite’

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ATLANTA, GA - Tonight, shortly after reading the public a bedtime story, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) wanted to say "Good night!"...
medical consults

A Primer to How We All Consult One Another

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Does your patient need help but you're just not sure who to consult for help? This GomerBlog primer is here to break things down...

Nasogastric Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts Recommended for Children Who Refuse to Eat Vegetables

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With parents struggling to get their kids to eat their vegetables, some doctors have developed a new workaround. “We used to just use nasogastric (NG)...

Local Man Haunted by Crying Colic Baby

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ATLANTA, GA – Local resident Ryan Foster, a 28-year-old bachelor and physical medicine and rehabilitation (PMR) resident, told GomerBlog he was currently haunted by a...

Doctors, Nurses in Disbelief as Even Infants Are Drug-Seeking

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ATLANTA, GA - Well, folks, now we’ve seen it all.  GomerBlog is sad to break the unfortunate news that the world is descending into...