Pediatrics

joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

0
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...

Code Brown Forces Hospital Evacuation; SWAT and FBI Called In

0
LOS ANGELES, CA - A local medical center was evacuated this morning after a Code Brown in the pediatric wing of the hospital quickly...
mother researching vaccines

Mother Does Research, Chooses Not to Vaccinate

96
JACKSONVILLE, FL – Local mother of two children, Denise Jacobson has decided after much research that she will not vaccinate her children.  “Research is...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

0
ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...
doctor dreaming

After Seeing 22 Patients in 90 Minutes, Area Pediatrician Rehearses for Her Eventual Last...

0
“I thought about running directly into traffic,” says Dr. Jane Smith of her state of mind after seeing 22 walk-in patients in 90 minutes....

“Rare Diseases” Give Jenny McCarthy Lifetime Achievement Award

0
LOS ANGELES, CA - Thursday night the 197,788th annual Rare Disease Awards - formally known as the Common Disease Awards - brought the house down at...

NICU Patient Graduates High School

0
ST. LOUIS, MO – It’s a special occasion in the life of J’ramyah Boba Fett, as he overcomes the odds stacked against him by...

Anti-Vaxxers Uncertain How to Feel About New Autism Vaccine

0
"If there is a vaccine that big pharma claims will prevent autism, its probably a super double secret way to giving even more kids autism so they can sell more medications to treat autism because they're all a part of big autism!"
lightsaber

Vader Pharmaceuticals Introduces New EpiLightsaber for Anaphylaxis

33
DEATH STAR II - In response to the growing prevalence of food allergies among employees of the evil Galactic Empire, Vader Pharmaceuticals have announced...
loser health care job

This Just In: Your Health Care Job Sucks

0
Hey YOU, that’s right, I’m talking to you. Gomerblog just wanted to take some time to let you know that your job sucks. Really....