Pediatrics

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Announces Mandatory Journal Club on Vaccines for All Americans

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control announced in a press release today that they would be holding a mandatory journal club about vaccines....
upset mother

Mother Furious With OB Nurse Who Mispronounced Her Baby’s Name

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PORTLAND, OR - "Simply Outrageous!"  Those were comments on a patient survey card by a mother regarding an OB nurse at Mercy Care Hospital yesterday on the 6th floor. ...

Medical Subspecialties as Star Wars Characters

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The release of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is upon us. Before we re-watch Episodes I through VII in our respective break and...

American Academy of Pediatrics Admits That Children Really Are Little Adults

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WASHINGTON, DC - A year-long undercover investigation into the American Academy of Pediatrics’ claim that pediatric patient management was distinct from that of adults has...
boxing gloves

Bickering Chiefs of Medicine & Surgery Sent to the Principal’s Office, Yet Again

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BOSTON, MA - In developing news at Boston Health & Science University, 51-year-old Chief of Medicine Kyle Jones and 53-year-old Chief of Surgery Maya...

Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies

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ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency."  They are coming off of...
elderly patient

Elderly Man Admitted with MI Requests Pediatrics Consult

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ORLANDO, FL—Bobby Kidman, an elderly man admitted to the hospital today with a suspected myocardial infarction bizarrely rejected a cardiology consultation and instead requested...
graham crackers

97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets

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BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...

New Study Shows Father’s Breast Milk Improves Babies’ Intelligence over Mother’s Breast Milk

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DENVER, CO – AstraZeneca recently announced that its new drug, Milkaman, was approved by the FDA for male breastfeeding.  This novel drug causes pectoral muscle cells in...

Pumpkin Wishing It Didn’t Turn Down the Gardasil Vaccine

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PUMPKIN PATCH - Local pumpkin really wishing it didn't turn down a Gardasil shot this year. "I have all these bumps all over myself,"...