Code Brown Forces Hospital Evacuation; SWAT and FBI Called In
LOS ANGELES, CA - A local medical center was evacuated this morning after a Code Brown in the pediatric wing of the hospital quickly...
Medical Specialties as Game of Thrones Characters
As all medical specialties try to gain control of the hospital, we've narrowed down who their characters are:
Cardiology, you poor tortured soul with a...
Doc McStuffins Forced to Resign Due to Dismal Patient Satisfaction Scores
ORLANDO, FL - Children across America are devastated after news broke today that Doc McStuffins will not be asked back for another season. Disney...
Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult
If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked. It is the end of the day and...
100-Year-Old Finally Ready for Discharge from NICU
CENTENNIAL, CO—Yesterday, a 1200-month-old newborn, Sandy Genarian, was finally discharged from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of Centennial Medical Center, where he has been...
Breaking: Martin Shkreli & Heather Bresch Are A**holes
NEW YORK, NY - In a candid interview on CBS News yesterday, Martin Shkreli admitted that "Yes, Heather Bresch and I are a**holes." Mylan...
Startling Report: CDC Recommends Against Vaccinations, Anti-Vaxxers Now Demanding Their Right to Vaccinate
ATLANTA, GA - After a funding change, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) completed a meta-analysis using super statistical procedures and skewed...
Pediatric Residents in Uproar as Hospital Bans Highlighters
In a landmark move, the Children’s Hospital has banned the use of highlighters on hospital premises leading to enraged pediatric residents. In their anger,...
Formula Reviews by Former NICU Babies
“Similac Pro-Advance, complete nutrition for a baby’s first year… with added a 2’-FL Human Milk Oligosaccharide…an immune-nourishing prebiotic that circulates through the body,” –...
Crying Baby Really Trying to Say ‘I Hate You!’
NEW HAVEN, CT – A new study just published in Pediatrics this month demonstrated that countless parent’s suspicions and anxieties were absolutely correct: When infants cry,...