100-Year-Old Finally Ready for Discharge from NICU
CENTENNIAL, CO—Yesterday, a 1200-month-old newborn, Sandy Genarian, was finally discharged from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of Centennial Medical Center, where he has been...
Hospitals Now Joining Black Friday Frenzy
NEW YORK, NY - Black Friday is hitting America very soon. Stores are now opening their doors almost immediately after millions of Americans finish off eating...
Doc McStuffins Forced to Resign Due to Dismal Patient Satisfaction Scores
ORLANDO, FL - Children across America are devastated after news broke today that Doc McStuffins will not be asked back for another season. Disney...
Mother Does Research, Chooses Not to Vaccinate
JACKSONVILLE, FL – Local mother of two children, Denise Jacobson has decided after much research that she will not vaccinate her children. “Research is...
Medical Specialties as Disney Characters
Anesthesia - Rafiki from The Lion King. Most of the rest of us have no clue what the hell you are doing with all...
Vaccines Cause Children to Love Minecraft
It really couldn’t be more obvious, just look around. We NEVER saw a child playing Minecraft when I was growing up, never. Now it’s...
Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered
Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers). Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations. Environmental...
Study: 4th Graders with Google Better Doctors Than 96% of New Medical Student Graduates
BIRMINGHAM, AL - A new study published last week in Barney and Friends magazine revealed that 4th graders, if given a computer with internet search access, were...
Disneyland’s New Princess Rubella
DISNEYLAND, CA - Joining princesses Ariel, Cinderella, Tinker Bell and Bella, Disneyland in California has just introduced its latest: Princess Rubella. Visitors to Disneyland...