Pediatrics

anti vaccine brain

Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered

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Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers).  Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations.  Environmental...

“Minions” Movie Linked to Rising Rates of Pediatric Hyperkalemia

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Emergency departments across the country have been seeing an alarming trend of rising rates of pediatric hyperkalemia since summer of last year.  Hyperkalemia, which...

New Research Shows That Anti-Vax Housewives Were Right All Along!

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MARIN COUNTY, CA - Tiffany Davis was relieved today when she heard from her friend Courtney Brown at their children’s Gymboree class that Courtney...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

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ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...
doctor notes DVT PE

Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds

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ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published...
bad parenting

Popularity of New Discharge Instructions Surges in Pediatric Emergency Departments

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As EMR’s continue to replace paper charting in hospitals across the country, pre-made discharge instructions are becoming more popular.  However, a particular set of...
pope francis blessing

Who Received Pope Francis’ Blessing?

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Many people know that Pope Francis has been visiting the United States.  However, not many people realize that he has stopped by numerous healthcare...
disney requires vaccinations

Disney Parks Now Require Immunization Record for Admittance

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ORLANDO, FL - In a bold and unprecedented response to the recent measles outbreak at Disneyland, Disney execs announced yesterday that they will institute...
father's day for physician or nurse

Last Minute Father’s Day Gifts for Your Physician/Nurse Dad

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Did you forget to buy your doctor or nurse dad a gift for Father’s Day?  Don’t worry, GomerBlog has you covered.  Here’s a last...