Pediatrics

brain freeze

Popsicle-Induced Brain Freeze: A Rising Epidemic in Pediatric Emergency Departments

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LONDON, ON - Airway, Breathing, Circulation... Popsicle. This has been the foundation of pediatric resuscitation for decades. While the model has served pediatricians well,...

American Academy of Pediatrics Increase Recommended Age for Car Seats to 17

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – New recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), printed in this month's issue of Pediatrics, will further change the way...

“Rare Diseases” Give Jenny McCarthy Lifetime Achievement Award

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Thursday night the 197,788th annual Rare Disease Awards - formally known as the Common Disease Awards - brought the house down at...

Pediatrician About to Call Surgery to Lay Hands on Another Punky-Looking Kiddo

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2AM, KNOXVILLE, TN - According to seventh floor pediatrics ward sources, local pediatrician and hospitalist Dr. Jerry Dirkins is about to call for another...
joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
anti vaccine brain

Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered

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Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers).  Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations.  Environmental...
veteranarian

Veterinarians to Care for Children

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DES MOINES, IA - Citing the growing shortage of pediatricians and family medicine doctors in rural areas, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) is set...
baby ADHD

Enfamil with Adderall Approved for Infantile ADHD

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LEXINGTON, MA -  Spiral Pharmaceuticals has paired with baby formula giant Enfamil to create the world’s first amphetamine-fortified formula, which will treat a newly...
orthopedic surgery kid

Breaking: Ummm Yeah, Fifty Bucks Says This Kid’s Going into Ortho

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MIAMI, FL - Without waiting to see how his prepubescent, teenage, or even college years pan out, Gomerblog is already going to call it: fifty...

ChooseMyPlate.gov Updates Plate Portions for Nurses, Docs

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WASHINGTON, DC - The USDA website ChooseMyPlate.gov has updated its plate for all hospital personnel to remind them that while finding your healthy eating...