Pediatrics

graham crackers

97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets

0
BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...

American Academy of Pediatrics Announces That Whatever You’re Doing Probably Fine

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a surprise announcement early this morning, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) released a new recommendation stating that whatever you’re...
pediatric consult

Pediatrics Consulted for Adult Temper Tantrum on 5 West

21
El PASO, TX – Yesterday, at approximately 2:34 pm, on the 5th floor of Holy Cross Hospital, a STAT pediatrics consult was called in for...

Pediatrician About to Call Surgery to Lay Hands on Another Punky-Looking Kiddo

7
2AM, KNOXVILLE, TN - According to seventh floor pediatrics ward sources, local pediatrician and hospitalist Dr. Jerry Dirkins is about to call for another...
elderly lady

100-Year-Old Finally Ready for Discharge from NICU

0
CENTENNIAL, CO—Yesterday, a 1200-month-old newborn, Sandy Genarian, was finally discharged from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of Centennial Medical Center, where he has been...
pregnancy

Vaccinations Now Definitively Linked to Pregnancy

0
BOSTON, MA - A new study just published in the Old England Journal of Medicine now definitively links childhood vaccinations to pregnancy. Jenny McCarthy,...

“Rare Diseases” Give Jenny McCarthy Lifetime Achievement Award

0
LOS ANGELES, CA - Thursday night the 197,788th annual Rare Disease Awards - formally known as the Common Disease Awards - brought the house down at...
Lego foot pain Dilaudid

CDC Recommends IV Dilaudid to Treat Foot Pain Caused by Stepping on a Stray...

0
ATLANTA, GA - Finally acknowledging it as the most painful thing a human being can ever experience, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)...

American Academy of Pediatrics Increase Recommended Age for Car Seats to 17

1
PHILADELPHIA, PA – New recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), printed in this month's issue of Pediatrics, will further change the way...

Medical Professions as NFL Teams

0
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.   Orthopaedics are the...