Pediatrician About to Call Surgery to Lay Hands on Another Punky-Looking Kiddo
2AM, KNOXVILLE, TN - According to seventh floor pediatrics ward sources, local pediatrician and hospitalist Dr. Jerry Dirkins is about to call for another...
Doc McStuffins Caught Sleeping with Lambie, License Suspended
SACRAMENTO, CA - The Medical Board of California suspended the license of Dottie "Doc" McStuffins after allegations arose that she conducted an inappropriate relationship with...
Breaking: CDC Warns of Cooties Outbreak in Children
ATLANTA, GA - Parents pay close attention: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a new warning to the American public against...
Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections. For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies
ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency." They are coming off of...
Lawless Family Boldly Sits in “Well” Section of Pediatric Waiting Room Despite Kids Clearly...
CHEVY CHASE, MD—Shameless. Ballsy. Chutzpah. These are some of the words being used to describe a family that had the audacity to sit in...
Mutated Pediatric Names Linked to Higher Mortality
ATLANTA, GA - The lead article in this month’s Journal of Pediatric Critical Care started with a few simple observations.
"I had two patients in...
Women’s Hospital Launches New Baby-Unfriendly Initiative
To combat a steep revenue drop at the Women and Infant’s Hospital, CEO Dr. Trevor Casein has launched a new baby-unfriendly initiative to reduce...
Breaking: Martin Shkreli & Heather Bresch Are A**holes
NEW YORK, NY - In a candid interview on CBS News yesterday, Martin Shkreli admitted that "Yes, Heather Bresch and I are a**holes." Mylan...
Vaccines Cause Children to Love Minecraft
It really couldn’t be more obvious, just look around. We NEVER saw a child playing Minecraft when I was growing up, never. Now it’s...