100-Year-Old Finally Ready for Discharge from NICU
CENTENNIAL, CO—Yesterday, a 1200-month-old newborn, Sandy Genarian, was finally discharged from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of Centennial Medical Center, where he has been...
Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections. For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
Vaping Company Denies New Breastmilk-Flavored E-Cigarette Targets Newborn
SEATTLE, WA—A Seattle-based vaping company has been forced into damage control amidst claims that its new e-cigarette targets newborns. The basis for the claims...
Local Children Against Vaccinations Despite the Evidence
ATLANTA, GA – A growing trend is occurring among children across the nation: the rejection of vaccines. It has been well documented that some...
OB/GYNs Clarify That Five-Second Rule Does Not Apply to Babies
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a statement released earlier this week by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), the nation's leading obstetricians and...
Looking Hot! Cookie Monster Shows Off New Sexy Bod After Trading in Cookies for...
JUST WEST OF SESAME STREET - Holy sexiness, Batman! So much has been happening in the news recently that it's hard to lose sight...
Women’s Hospital Launches New Baby-Unfriendly Initiative
To combat a steep revenue drop at the Women and Infant’s Hospital, CEO Dr. Trevor Casein has launched a new baby-unfriendly initiative to reduce...
Crying Baby Really Trying to Say ‘I Hate You!’
NEW HAVEN, CT – A new study just published in Pediatrics this month demonstrated that countless parent’s suspicions and anxieties were absolutely correct: When infants cry,...
Vader Pharmaceuticals Introduces New EpiLightsaber for Anaphylaxis
DEATH STAR II - In response to the growing prevalence of food allergies among employees of the evil Galactic Empire, Vader Pharmaceuticals have announced...
Genetics Professor Uses Students as Examples During Dysmorphology Lecture
“As future physicians, it’s absolutely essential for you to be able to recognize features of genetic disorders in your patients,” Dr. Lena Lombardo stated,...