100-Year-Old Finally Ready for Discharge from NICU
CENTENNIAL, CO—Yesterday, a 1200-month-old newborn, Sandy Genarian, was finally discharged from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of Centennial Medical Center, where he has been...
Finally A Clinic Run by “Parents Who’ve Done Their Research” Opens
PORTLAND, OR - Great news out of Portland, Oregon today, the first in the nation, clinic run by "Parents Who've Done Their Research" opens....
American Academy of Pediatrics Announces That Whatever You’re Doing Probably Fine
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a surprise announcement early this morning, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) released a new recommendation stating that whatever you’re...
Doc McStuffins Caught Sleeping with Lambie, License Suspended
SACRAMENTO, CA - The Medical Board of California suspended the license of Dottie "Doc" McStuffins after allegations arose that she conducted an inappropriate relationship with...
Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've...
Dr. House of Cards: Magna Cum Measles
ZDoggMD stars in Dr. House of Cards, Magna Cum Measles. Looks like little Timmy will be getting his MMR vaccine afterall.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-sW_wZoAFk
Narconipple Implant Helps Add Opioids to Breastfeeding
SEATTLE, WA - Narconipple Inc. is pleased to introduce its revolutionary patented product, the Fentanypple. The Fentanypple is a narcotic breast implant that delivers...
CDC Recommends IV Dilaudid to Treat Foot Pain Caused by Stepping on a Stray...
ATLANTA, GA - Finally acknowledging it as the most painful thing a human being can ever experience, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)...
Local Mom Decides Against New Brake Pads
MICHIGAN - Local mom, Jennifer Leeders, brought in her Acura MDX for its annual maintenance. Her mechanic recommended new brake pads, a routine recommendation....
La Leche League Busted for Trafficking Cocaine in Confiscated Similac Containers
CHICAGO, IL - Yesterday, the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) announced that it is making hundreds of arrests after blowing the flexible, Frisbee-style lid off...