Pediatrics

Presidential Election Medical Memes

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mother researching vaccines

Mother Does Research, Chooses Not to Vaccinate

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JACKSONVILLE, FL – Local mother of two children, Denise Jacobson has decided after much research that she will not vaccinate her children.  “Research is...
anti vaccine brain

Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered

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Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers).  Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations.  Environmental...
hospital emergency room boarding

‘Twas the Night After Christmas

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'Twas the Night After Christmas ‘Twas the night after Christmas, at the front of the house, The parents were lined up, all running their mouths. Neb tubing...
doc

Doc McStuffins Forced to Resign Due to Dismal Patient Satisfaction Scores

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ORLANDO, FL - Children across America are devastated after news broke today that Doc McStuffins will not be asked back for another season.  Disney...
pediatric consult

Pediatrics Consulted for Adult Temper Tantrum on 5 West

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El PASO, TX – Yesterday, at approximately 2:34 pm, on the 5th floor of Holy Cross Hospital, a STAT pediatrics consult was called in for...

La Leche League Busted for Trafficking Cocaine in Confiscated Similac Containers

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CHICAGO, IL - Yesterday, the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) announced that it is making hundreds of arrests after blowing the flexible, Frisbee-style lid off...
reward stickers

Stickers for Drug Seekers Program Gaining Momentum

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CHARLESTON, SC - An innovative new program implemented at Charleston Clinic is successfully deterring patients suspected of having drug-seeking behavior from returning to their healthcare system,...
orthopedic surgery kid

Breaking: Ummm Yeah, Fifty Bucks Says This Kid’s Going into Ortho

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MIAMI, FL - Without waiting to see how his prepubescent, teenage, or even college years pan out, Gomerblog is already going to call it: fifty...