anti vaccine brain

Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered

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Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers).  Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations.  Environmental...
puppy pediatrics

Study Finds Puppies, Ice Cream, New Toys Associated with Immediate Cessation of Pediatric Pseudoseizures

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PORTLAND, OR – Researches at the Triarbridge Pediatric Medical Center in North Portland reported recent findings today from their groundbreaking study which found pediatric...
Crayola, codes

Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes

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EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...

Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies

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ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency."  They are coming off of...
princess rubella

Disneyland’s New Princess Rubella

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DISNEYLAND, CA - Joining princesses Ariel, Cinderella, Tinker Bell and Bella, Disneyland in California has just introduced its latest: Princess Rubella.  Visitors to Disneyland...
vaccines

Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've...
joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
airplane

Newborn Delivered at 35,000 Feet: A Doctor’s Perspective

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SOMEWHERE OVER HOBOKEN, NJ – It’s amazing how there is always a doctor around when you need one.  Hardly 200 miles into my flight...
confused resident

AAP Announces New Screening Tool for Resident Developmental Delays

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OKLAHOMA CITY, OK – American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has responded to a request from the American Medical Association (AMA) and constructed a new screening...

Justin Timberlake: I’m Bringing Measles Baaaack

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Recently Justin Timberlake announced to the world that he is not planning to vaccinate his child.  Evidently all the scientific evidence looks different behind...