crying infant

Crying Baby Really Trying to Say ‘I Hate You!’

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NEW HAVEN, CT – A new study just published in Pediatrics this month demonstrated that countless parent’s suspicions and anxieties were absolutely correct: When infants cry,...

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

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If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and...
confused resident

AAP Announces New Screening Tool for Resident Developmental Delays

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OKLAHOMA CITY, OK – American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has responded to a request from the American Medical Association (AMA) and constructed a new screening...
narcan fentanyl nipple

Narconipple Implant Helps Add Opioids to Breastfeeding

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SEATTLE, WA - Narconipple Inc. is pleased to introduce its revolutionary patented product, the Fentanypple.  The Fentanypple is a narcotic breast implant that delivers...

Pediatric Residents in Uproar as Hospital Bans Highlighters

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In a landmark move, the Children’s Hospital has banned the use of highlighters on hospital premises leading to enraged pediatric residents. In their anger,...

Finally A Clinic Run by “Parents Who’ve Done Their Research” Opens

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PORTLAND, OR - Great news out of Portland, Oregon today, the first in the nation, clinic run by "Parents Who've Done Their Research" opens....
googling medical symptoms

Study: 4th Graders with Google Better Doctors Than 96% of New Medical Student Graduates

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - A new study published last week in Barney and Friends magazine revealed that 4th graders, if given a computer with internet search access, were...

Diaper Blowout Grading Scale Released by AAP

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WASHINGTON, DC - The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the American Nursing Association (ANA) sponsored: Multidisciplinary Diaper Change Task Force released a consensus...
anti vaccine brain

Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered

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Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers).  Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations.  Environmental...
medical pager

Pages We Love to Get at Any Point During the Day

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These are probably the best pages any health care professional can ask for! "We're building forts out of drapes, wanna join?! - Anesthesia, OR 4" "Go...