Pediatrics

Cheetos

Cheetos for Pediatric Abdominal Pain Better Than Zofran, Phenergan

0
DALLAS, TX - A recent study in Totally Peer Reviewed (TPR) shows that in acute abdominal pain, Cheetos not only treat, but in many...

Pediatrician About to Call Surgery to Lay Hands on Another Punky-Looking Kiddo

7
2AM, KNOXVILLE, TN - According to seventh floor pediatrics ward sources, local pediatrician and hospitalist Dr. Jerry Dirkins is about to call for another...

Anti-Vaxxers Uncertain How to Feel About New Autism Vaccine

0
"If there is a vaccine that big pharma claims will prevent autism, its probably a super double secret way to giving even more kids autism so they can sell more medications to treat autism because they're all a part of big autism!"
whole milk

Surgeon General: Generation of Adults, Unwisely Formula-Fed as Infants, Should Start Getting Breastfed Now

0
WASHINGTON, DC—Mrs. Beaumont came home early one day last week and walked in on her 50-year-old husband sucking on the nipple of a gorgeous...
couple kissing

Worst Pick-Up Lines by Medical Subspecialty

0
GomerBlog did some research on a hot and steamy topic: What are the worst pick-up lines by subspecialty?  Here goes! Allergy “I like it when you...
pediatric consult

Pediatrics Consulted for Adult Temper Tantrum on 5 West

21
El PASO, TX – Yesterday, at approximately 2:34 pm, on the 5th floor of Holy Cross Hospital, a STAT pediatrics consult was called in for...
elderly patient

Elderly Man Admitted with MI Requests Pediatrics Consult

0
ORLANDO, FL—Bobby Kidman, an elderly man admitted to the hospital today with a suspected myocardial infarction bizarrely rejected a cardiology consultation and instead requested...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

0
ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...

New Research Shows That Anti-Vax Housewives Were Right All Along!

0
MARIN COUNTY, CA - Tiffany Davis was relieved today when she heard from her friend Courtney Brown at their children’s Gymboree class that Courtney...

Children’s Book Review: Grace & Chase Tackle Acid-Base

0
Pros / This book is a colorful, lyrical, and fun read for precocious infants, toddlers, and children with an interest in acid-base disorders. Cons /...