Mutated Pediatric Names Linked to Higher Mortality
ATLANTA, GA - The lead article in this month’s Journal of Pediatric Critical Care started with a few simple observations.
"I had two patients in...
Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds
ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published...
Vader Pharmaceuticals Introduces New EpiLightsaber for Anaphylaxis
DEATH STAR II - In response to the growing prevalence of food allergies among employees of the evil Galactic Empire, Vader Pharmaceuticals have announced...
Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes
EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...
Rand Paul’s Medical Credibility Lowered to Jenny McCarthy’s Level
KENTUCKY - In a shocking statement released today by Rand Paul, a well-respected Kentucky senator and ophthalmologist, he believes vaccines can lead to "mental...
Entrance of New Children’s Hospital to Feature Adorable Animal Footprints Leading Families Directly to...
DALLAS, TX - As construction continues on the new 300-bed children’s hospital here, officials today announced some exciting design details to the general public. According...
After 9 Head Trauma Calls, The Doctor is ‘Furious’
BATTLE CREEK, MI – Family doctor, William Turncoat, was visibly upset after slamming the phone down. "That’s the ninth time today I’ve told her… I tell...
Random Mom in Hospital Telling Everybody to Sit Up Straight & Eat Their Vegetables
ATLANTA, GA - “COME ON, SIT UP STRAIGHT!!!” ordered a random Mom hanging around the floors of Georgia Medical Center (GMC). “KEEP SLOUCHING LIKE...
Study: 4th Graders with Google Better Doctors Than 96% of New Medical Student Graduates
BIRMINGHAM, AL - A new study published last week in Barney and Friends magazine revealed that 4th graders, if given a computer with internet search access, were...
CDC Recommends IV Dilaudid to Treat Foot Pain Caused by Stepping on a Stray...
ATLANTA, GA - Finally acknowledging it as the most painful thing a human being can ever experience, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)...