Pediatrics

monkeys jumping on the bed

After 9 Head Trauma Calls, The Doctor is ‘Furious’

0
BATTLE CREEK, MI – Family doctor, William Turncoat, was visibly upset after slamming the phone down.  "That’s the ninth time today I’ve told her… I tell...

NICU Patient Graduates High School

0
ST. LOUIS, MO – It’s a special occasion in the life of J’ramyah Boba Fett, as he overcomes the odds stacked against him by...

Psychic Hired to Read Patients’ Minds, Doctor Visit Time Reduced

0
BATON ROUGE, LA -- Do you think doctors ask weird questions—like “Do you have any problems with your kidneys?” Or ones that are hard...
narcan fentanyl nipple

Narconipple Implant Helps Add Opioids to Breastfeeding

0
SEATTLE, WA - Narconipple Inc. is pleased to introduce its revolutionary patented product, the Fentanypple.  The Fentanypple is a narcotic breast implant that delivers...

Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies

0
ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency."  They are coming off of...
disney requires vaccinations

Disney Parks Now Require Immunization Record for Admittance

4
ORLANDO, FL - In a bold and unprecedented response to the recent measles outbreak at Disneyland, Disney execs announced yesterday that they will institute...

What Does Google Think of Your Medical Specialty?

0
See what Google thinks of your medical specialty.  Don't see your specialty listed?  Look it up and post away on our Facebook post!  We'd...
Crayola, codes

Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes

0
EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...

Maternity Wards Stockpile Billions of Diapers to Prepare for Onslaught of Pandemic Babies

0
NEW YORK, NY—Not wanting to get caught with egg on their faces or poop in their hands, maternity wards throughout New York City have...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Breaking: CDC Warns of Cooties Outbreak in Children

0
ATLANTA, GA - Parents pay close attention: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a new warning to the American public against...