Pediatrics

Justin Timberlake: I’m Bringing Measles Baaaack

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Recently Justin Timberlake announced to the world that he is not planning to vaccinate his child.  Evidently all the scientific evidence looks different behind...
orthopedic surgery kid

Breaking: Ummm Yeah, Fifty Bucks Says This Kid’s Going into Ortho

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MIAMI, FL - Without waiting to see how his prepubescent, teenage, or even college years pan out, Gomerblog is already going to call it: fifty...

Vaping Company Denies New Breastmilk-Flavored E-Cigarette Targets Newborn

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SEATTLE, WA—A Seattle-based vaping company has been forced into damage control amidst claims that its new e-cigarette targets newborns. The basis for the claims...

New Journal of Negative Studies Announced

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BOSTON, MA - The medical community is abuzz today with the announcement of the new Journal of Negative Studies.  The journal, which will focus...

Medical Specialties as Disney Characters

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Anesthesia - Rafiki from The Lion King. Most of the rest of us have no clue what the hell you are doing with all...
ophthalmology Mr. Potato Head

Ophtho Emergently Consulted to Reattach Mr. Potato Head’s Eyes

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BROOKLYN, NY - Emergency room physicians at Maimonides Medical Center did not waste any time consulting ophthalmology to restore the vision of Mr. Potato...
botox injection

Local Mom Meets Fellow Anti-Vaxxer at Botox Clinic

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CHARLOTTE, NC - Charlotte mom Sarah Catherine Murdoch, 34, was delighted to make a new friend after striking up a conversation with another patron...

Antibiotic Combination Pill Approved for All Pediatric Infections

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WASHINGTON, DC - Vancolinezodoxycillimyciflagylnox, brand named "Cureall," a combination pill developed by Amalgamated Pharmaceuticals containing all known oral antibiotics, was approved yesterday for pediatric infections...

La Leche League Busted for Trafficking Cocaine in Confiscated Similac Containers

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CHICAGO, IL - Yesterday, the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) announced that it is making hundreds of arrests after blowing the flexible, Frisbee-style lid off...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Announces Mandatory Journal Club on Vaccines for All Americans

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control announced in a press release today that they would be holding a mandatory journal club about vaccines....