Pediatrics Consulted for Adult Temper Tantrum on 5 West
El PASO, TX – Yesterday, at approximately 2:34 pm, on the 5th floor of Holy Cross Hospital, a STAT pediatrics consult was called in for...
Code Brown Forces Hospital Evacuation; SWAT and FBI Called In
LOS ANGELES, CA - A local medical center was evacuated this morning after a Code Brown in the pediatric wing of the hospital quickly...
“Minions” Movie Linked to Rising Rates of Pediatric Hyperkalemia
Emergency departments across the country have been seeing an alarming trend of rising rates of pediatric hyperkalemia since summer of last year. Hyperkalemia, which...
Cheetos for Pediatric Abdominal Pain Better Than Zofran, Phenergan
DALLAS, TX - A recent study in Totally Peer Reviewed (TPR) shows that in acute abdominal pain, Cheetos not only treat, but in many...
Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System
NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...
La Leche League Busted for Trafficking Cocaine in Confiscated Similac Containers
CHICAGO, IL - Yesterday, the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) announced that it is making hundreds of arrests after blowing the flexible, Frisbee-style lid off...
Hospitals Now Joining Black Friday Frenzy
NEW YORK, NY - Black Friday is hitting America very soon. Stores are now opening their doors almost immediately after millions of Americans finish off eating...
Startling Report: CDC Recommends Against Vaccinations, Anti-Vaxxers Now Demanding Their Right to Vaccinate
ATLANTA, GA - After a funding change, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) completed a meta-analysis using super statistical procedures and skewed...
Ophtho Emergently Consulted to Reattach Mr. Potato Head’s Eyes
BROOKLYN, NY - Emergency room physicians at Maimonides Medical Center did not waste any time consulting ophthalmology to restore the vision of Mr. Potato...