Pediatrics

American Academy of Pediatrics Admits That Children Really Are Little Adults

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WASHINGTON, DC - A year-long undercover investigation into the American Academy of Pediatrics’ claim that pediatric patient management was distinct from that of adults has...
crying hospital

Breaking: First Batch of Crying July 1st Interns Spotted

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ATHENS, GA - In breaking news to GomerBlog, the first batch of crying July 1st interns were spotted in a rarely used stairwell at...

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

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If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and...

Local Mom Decides Against New Brake Pads

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MICHIGAN - Local mom, Jennifer Leeders, brought in her Acura MDX for its annual maintenance.  Her mechanic recommended new brake pads, a routine recommendation....
umbilical stump

Citing Health Benefits, New Parents Eating Umbilical Cord Stumps

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“From the moment I gazed into Andromeda’s perfect eyes, I knew I wanted only the best for her,” says new mom Rochelle Wilson. “Her...

Mutated Pediatric Names Linked to Higher Mortality

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ATLANTA, GA - The lead article in this month’s Journal of Pediatric Critical Care started with a few simple observations. "I had two patients in...
ketchup packet

Toddler Goldfish and Ketchup Diet Somehow Working

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MASSACHUSETTS - A new study just released last week in the journal Nutrition demonstrated that the toddler goldfish and ketchup diet is somehow working; they just...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Breaking: CDC Warns of Cooties Outbreak in Children

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ATLANTA, GA - Parents pay close attention: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a new warning to the American public against...

Maternity Wards Stockpile Billions of Diapers to Prepare for Onslaught of Pandemic Babies

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NEW YORK, NY—Not wanting to get caught with egg on their faces or poop in their hands, maternity wards throughout New York City have...
boxing gloves

Bickering Chiefs of Medicine & Surgery Sent to the Principal’s Office, Yet Again

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BOSTON, MA - In developing news at Boston Health & Science University, 51-year-old Chief of Medicine Kyle Jones and 53-year-old Chief of Surgery Maya...