Pediatrics

vaccines

Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines

82
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've...
sterile stuffed animals

Pediatric Procedure Kits to Feature Sterile Stuffed Animals

0
ORLANDO, FL - The latest guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommend that pediatric procedure kits be standardized to include sterile stuffed animals...
narcan fentanyl nipple

Narconipple Implant Helps Add Opioids to Breastfeeding

0
SEATTLE, WA - Narconipple Inc. is pleased to introduce its revolutionary patented product, the Fentanypple.  The Fentanypple is a narcotic breast implant that delivers...
upset mother

Mother Furious With OB Nurse Who Mispronounced Her Baby’s Name

0
PORTLAND, OR - "Simply Outrageous!"  Those were comments on a patient survey card by a mother regarding an OB nurse at Mercy Care Hospital yesterday on the 6th floor. ...
vaccines

Jimmy Kimmel and Real Doctors Preach on Getting Vaccines

86
Another reason to get your kids vaccinated https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgpfNScEd3M

Medical Professions as NFL Teams

0
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.   Orthopaedics are the...
disney requires vaccinations

Disney Parks Now Require Immunization Record for Admittance

4
ORLANDO, FL - In a bold and unprecedented response to the recent measles outbreak at Disneyland, Disney execs announced yesterday that they will institute...

Pumpkin Wishing It Didn’t Turn Down the Gardasil Vaccine

0
PUMPKIN PATCH - Local pumpkin really wishing it didn't turn down a Gardasil shot this year. "I have all these bumps all over myself,"...

Mutated Pediatric Names Linked to Higher Mortality

82
ATLANTA, GA - The lead article in this month’s Journal of Pediatric Critical Care started with a few simple observations. "I had two patients in...

Pediatric Residents in Uproar as Hospital Bans Highlighters

0
In a landmark move, the Children’s Hospital has banned the use of highlighters on hospital premises leading to enraged pediatric residents. In their anger,...