Tuesday, January 26, 2021


Antibiotic Combination Pill Approved for All Pediatric Infections

WASHINGTON, DC - Vancolinezodoxycillimyciflagylnox, brand named "Cureall," a combination pill developed by Amalgamated Pharmaceuticals containing all known oral antibiotics, was approved yesterday for pediatric infections after a review by the FDA.  The medication, indicated for...
Crayola, codes

Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes

EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced the release of a new 64 ct. Hospital Code System,...
pediatric consult

Pediatrics Consulted for Adult Temper Tantrum on 5 West

El PASO, TX – Yesterday, at approximately 2:34 pm, on the 5th floor of Holy Cross Hospital, a STAT pediatrics consult was called in for a 58-year-old adult male who was experiencing one of the...

ChooseMyPlate.gov Updates Plate Portions for Nurses, Docs

WASHINGTON, DC - The USDA website ChooseMyPlate.gov has updated its plate for all hospital personnel to remind them that while finding your healthy eating style and building it throughout your lifetime is great and...

Vaccines Cause Children to Love Minecraft

It really couldn’t be more obvious, just look around.  We NEVER saw a child playing Minecraft when I was growing up, never.  Now it’s everywhere.  What is also happening?  The mass-vaccination of our precious...

New Concierge Pediatrics Office Won’t Turn Away Any Kids with Money

GREENWICH, CT—Piggybacking off the successful concierge medicine practices that have sprung up over the last two decades, a local pediatrician, Dr. Willis Cornwallis, has founded a concierge pediatrics practice. Named PedsVIP, the business model...

Vaccinations Now Definitively Linked to Pregnancy

BOSTON, MA - A new study just published in the Old England Journal of Medicine now definitively links childhood vaccinations to pregnancy. Jenny McCarthy, the paper’s sole author, stated after reviewing the data that...
Rand Paul

Rand Paul’s Medical Credibility Lowered to Jenny McCarthy’s Level

KENTUCKY - In a shocking statement released today by Rand Paul, a well-respected Kentucky senator and ophthalmologist, he believes vaccines can lead to "mental disorders" and most should be "voluntary."  In an exclusive interview...
reward stickers

Stickers for Drug Seekers Program Gaining Momentum

CHARLESTON, SC - An innovative new program implemented at Charleston Clinic is successfully deterring patients suspected of having drug-seeking behavior from returning to their healthcare system, giving hope to medical providers that the war on narcotics...
mother giving medical advice

Random Mom in Hospital Telling Everybody to Sit Up Straight & Eat Their Vegetables

ATLANTA, GA - “COME ON, SIT UP STRAIGHT!!!” ordered a random Mom hanging around the floors of Georgia Medical Center (GMC).  “KEEP SLOUCHING LIKE THAT AND YOU’LL END UP HUNCHBACK LIKE YOUR UNCLE!!!”  This...