Pediatrician About to Call Surgery to Lay Hands on Another Punky-Looking Kiddo

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2AM, KNOXVILLE, TN - According to seventh floor pediatrics ward sources, local pediatrician and hospitalist Dr. Jerry Dirkins is about to call for another...
upset mother

Mother Furious With OB Nurse Who Mispronounced Her Baby’s Name

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PORTLAND, OR - "Simply Outrageous!"  Those were comments on a patient survey card by a mother regarding an OB nurse at Mercy Care Hospital yesterday on the 6th floor. ...

Medical Subspecialties as Star Wars Characters

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The release of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is upon us. Before we re-watch Episodes I through VII in our respective break and...
ADHD

Pediatric Community Stunned When Patient Brings Back Vanderbilt Forms for ADHD Evaluation

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LECOMA, MO - After being seen in the clinic about a week ago for chronic behavioral outburst, a local 9-year-old boy and his parents...

Local Mom Decides Against New Brake Pads

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MICHIGAN - Local mom, Jennifer Leeders, brought in her Acura MDX for its annual maintenance.  Her mechanic recommended new brake pads, a routine recommendation....

Sweet Tooth Identified: Dentists Localize to Tooth 32

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HERSHEY, PA - After an exhaustive search spanning decades, the nation’s leading dentists have finally identified the ever-elusive sweet tooth, localizing it to Tooth 32...
registered nurses

Memes, Memes, and More Medical Memes

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Hospital Approves Giving Parents Medication Before Children’s Surgery

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HOUSTON, TX - Last week, Children's General Hospital approved a new medication protocol to assist children undergoing surgical procedures.  Anxiolytic medication, such as midazolam,...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Plans to Move and Quarantine Unvaccinated Families

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ATLANTA, GA - In a move that is sure to spark controversy and protest, the CDC released Proposition 23.4 yesterday which grants state governments the...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Announces Mandatory Journal Club on Vaccines for All Americans

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control announced in a press release today that they would be holding a mandatory journal club about vaccines....