Pediatrics

baby

Women’s Hospital Launches New Baby-Unfriendly Initiative

0
To combat a steep revenue drop at the Women and Infant’s Hospital, CEO Dr. Trevor Casein has launched a new baby-unfriendly initiative to reduce...
brain freeze

Popsicle-Induced Brain Freeze: A Rising Epidemic in Pediatric Emergency Departments

0
LONDON, ON - Airway, Breathing, Circulation... Popsicle. This has been the foundation of pediatric resuscitation for decades. While the model has served pediatricians well,...

Entrance of New Children’s Hospital to Feature Adorable Animal Footprints Leading Families Directly to...

1
DALLAS, TX - As construction continues on the new 300-bed children’s hospital here, officials today announced some exciting design details to the general public.  According...
ketchup packet

Toddler Goldfish and Ketchup Diet Somehow Working

2
MASSACHUSETTS - A new study just released last week in the journal Nutrition demonstrated that the toddler goldfish and ketchup diet is somehow working; they just...
obstetrician sued

Obstetrician Sued When Adolescent Son Turns Out to Be ‘A Disappointment’

33
SAN JOSE, CA - Obstetrician Dr. Ambika Kumar has found herself in a lawsuit claiming over $14 million in damages by local aggrieved parents. Shari and...
sterile stuffed animals

Pediatric Procedure Kits to Feature Sterile Stuffed Animals

0
ORLANDO, FL - The latest guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommend that pediatric procedure kits be standardized to include sterile stuffed animals...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

0
ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...
barrage pages

Intrepid Med-Peds Explorers Set Out to Search for Rumored Med-Peds Hospitalist Jobs

0
YUKON TERRITORY, CANADA - Dispatches from the frozen north today report that a group of 40 brave Med-Peds physicians have set out into the...

New Journal of Negative Studies Announced

0
BOSTON, MA - The medical community is abuzz today with the announcement of the new Journal of Negative Studies.  The journal, which will focus...
anti vaccine brain

Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered

0
Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers).  Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations.  Environmental...