CDC Reminder: ‘Sleep Tight and Definitely Do Not Let the Bed Bugs Bite’
ATLANTA, GA - Tonight, shortly after reading the public a bedtime story, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) wanted to say "Good night!"...
Study: 4th Graders with Google Better Doctors Than 96% of New Medical Student Graduates
BIRMINGHAM, AL - A new study published last week in Barney and Friends magazine revealed that 4th graders, if given a computer with internet search access, were...
FDA Approves OxyContin for Kids Tall Enough to Get on This Ride
PHARM WATER KINGDOM, FL - Acknowledging the importance for safe medicine in children, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently approved the potent painkiller OxyContin...
African Child Tragically Unaware He Has ‘Marker Negative Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder’
MAUN, BOTSWANA - A desperately impoverished 6-year-old boy in Sub-Saharan Africa lacks the access to medical care which could properly diagnose his "Marker Negative...
Pediatric Procedure Kits to Feature Sterile Stuffed Animals
ORLANDO, FL - The latest guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommend that pediatric procedure kits be standardized to include sterile stuffed animals...
Medical Subspecialties as Star Wars Characters
The release of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is upon us. Before we re-watch Episodes I through VII in our respective break and...
Startling Report: CDC Recommends Against Vaccinations, Anti-Vaxxers Now Demanding Their Right to Vaccinate
ATLANTA, GA - After a funding change, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) completed a meta-analysis using super statistical procedures and skewed...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
Study Finds Puppies, Ice Cream, New Toys Associated with Immediate Cessation of Pediatric Pseudoseizures
PORTLAND, OR – Researches at the Triarbridge Pediatric Medical Center in North Portland reported recent findings today from their groundbreaking study which found pediatric...