Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...
Local Children Against Vaccinations Despite the Evidence
ATLANTA, GA – A growing trend is occurring among children across the nation: the rejection of vaccines. It has been well documented that some...
Study: 4th Graders with Google Better Doctors Than 96% of New Medical Student Graduates
BIRMINGHAM, AL - A new study published last week in Barney and Friends magazine revealed that 4th graders, if given a computer with internet search access, were...
Product Review: Heartbeats by Dr. Dre Stethoscopes
Pros / The bass on these Heartbeats by Dr. Dre stethoscopes are SICK! Besides, who wouldn't want a bluetooth stethoscope blessed by Dr. Dre?
Cons / You...
Parent Uses Landmark Paper ‘No Difference in Scrape Healing Placebo Vs. Band-Aid’ Without Success
OMAHA, NE - Local resident Amy Shoemaker has tried to inform her children over and over that Band-Aids applied to only superficial wounds make...
Medical Specialties as Game of Thrones Characters
As all medical specialties try to gain control of the hospital, we've narrowed down who their characters are:
Cardiology, you poor tortured soul with a...
OB/GYNs Clarify That Five-Second Rule Does Not Apply to Babies
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a statement released earlier this week by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), the nation's leading obstetricians and...
Antibiotic Combination Pill Approved for All Pediatric Infections
WASHINGTON, DC - Vancolinezodoxycillimyciflagylnox, brand named "Cureall," a combination pill developed by Amalgamated Pharmaceuticals containing all known oral antibiotics, was approved yesterday for pediatric infections...
Random Mom in Hospital Telling Everybody to Sit Up Straight & Eat Their Vegetables
ATLANTA, GA - “COME ON, SIT UP STRAIGHT!!!” ordered a random Mom hanging around the floors of Georgia Medical Center (GMC). “KEEP SLOUCHING LIKE...
Surgeon General: Generation of Adults, Unwisely Formula-Fed as Infants, Should Start Getting Breastfed Now
WASHINGTON, DC—Mrs. Beaumont came home early one day last week and walked in on her 50-year-old husband sucking on the nipple of a gorgeous...