Pharmacy

doctor prescribing

Doctor’s Last Drug-Rep Pen Running Out of Ink, Future Prescription Decisions Uncertain

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CRANQUISVILLE, USA - The Affordable Care Act of 2010 brought many changes to the US healthcare (insurance) system, and doctors have already felt the...

Tips: How to Pronounce a Difficult Drug Name Without Choking, Aspirating, Dying

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Last month, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (“The” FDA) approved the efficacious and unpronounceable idarucizumab (also known, thankfully, as Praxbind) to reverse the...

Pharmacy No Longer Accepting Scripts Written in Crayon, Dr. Muppet: ‘Me Angry!’

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ORLANDO, FL – The outpatient pharmacy at Orlando Regional Medical Center (ORMC) has issued a hospital-wide memo Monday that they will stop accepting prescription...
staph staff

Staph Aureus Bacterium Ridiculed by for Still Being Sensitive to Methicillin

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A single, sad Staph Aureus bacterium has been shunned from its colony for still being sensitive to methicillin in the year 2019. “Apparently it didn’t...

Controlled Substance Just Wants to Be Treated Like Other Substances

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PHARMACY, USA - “You know, I’m just like everyone else. I just want to be in the same classes, have the same schedule,” lamented...
nystatin statin

Dammit, It’s a Ruse! Nystatin Isn’t a Statin After All

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BETHESDA, MD - The medical world is at a loss for words after scientists at the National Institute of Health (NIH) dropped the megaton...
unicorn

Investigation Reveals Dilaudid Manufactured From Unicorn Tears

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Reports from a three year long undercover investigation reveal that Pharmagen has been manufacturing dilaudid using a tremendous volume of unicorn tears. The 3,000...
polypharmacy

MegaPharm Introduces New Pill to Treat Polypharmacy

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NEW YORK, NY - In a bid to capture even more market share in the growing cohort of Americans taking more than ten scheduled...
Gas-X brain farts

Neurologists Recommend Gas-X for Treatment of Brain Farts

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - The American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has updated their guidelines for the diagnosis and management of brain farts, a condition characterized...
drug shortages

Drug Shortages Lead OR Pharmacies to Issue Motivational Items

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Nationwide drug shortages have forced physicians to consider alternative ways to take care of patients. At the forefront of this movement is the National...