Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated
RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning. She found...
Meet Dilaudicillin the Groundbreaking New Narcotic/Antibiotic Combo that has Patient Satisfaction Scores Through the...
In the era of Press-Ganey scores, most physicians have finally accepted that they are essentially waiters whose job is to serve the every whim...
Simple Solution to Medication Non-Adherence: Get Patients Addicted to Their Medicine
BLUNT, SD—An innovative physician fed up with patients who don’t take their medications as prescribed has successfully lobbied Congress and pharmaceutical companies to adopt...
New Dating Website ‘Just Pharmacists’ Proven to Reduce Cardiomyopathy
For many a lonely pharmacist, the only drug in critical shortage is love. Now, thanks to the makers of such successes as Ashley Madison,...
New Multivitamin Cures Cancer, Heart Disease, Famine, Evil
SAN DIEGO, CA - A new miracle multivitamin released by pharmaceutical company Pfizer last month has taken the world by storm as it not...
Exercise ‘Can Be As Good As Pills’
Exercise can be as good a medicine as pills for people with conditions such as heart disease, a study has found. The work in the...
Hospital Renamed “Our Lady of Perpetual Shortage”
In honor of recent supply chain deficiencies, FDA recalls, as well as loss of manufacturing capabilities from recent environmental disasters in Puerto Rico and...
OxyContin Named Tennessee Official State Drug
Republished with permission from The Placebo Journal.
NASHVILLE, TN (PJ) - Tennessee lawmakers unanimously approved a motion Friday to name “OxyContin” (TM) the state’s official...
New Female Libido Pill to Hit Shelves
ATLANTA, GA - A new female libido pill is expected to hit shelves this week called Pamper. The pill is designed to put that flame...
Multi-Use Medication Vials Used More Than Once, Pharmacy Puzzled
SHARON, PA - In the epic battle for hospital supremacy, Anesthesia vanquished Radiology by delaying an OR case much longer than the fifteen minutes...