Pharmacy

salmon eggs

Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory

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DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine.  This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals...

Ortho Outraged Pharmacy Doesn’t Carry Methicillin, Wonders How to Treat Patient with MSSA

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WOONSOCKET, RI - Despite numerous cultures coming back as Methicillin Sensitive Staph aureus, most pharmacies no longer carry the ancient antibiotic. This hasn't been an...

Starbucks Offering Frappuccino Drips for a Limited Time

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SEATTLE, WA - To help mitigate caffeine withdrawal in its hospitalized customers, Starbucks will be partnering with inpatient pharmacies for a limited time to...

Drug Prices Outta Control: Man Spends 3 Months’ Salary on Vaginal Contraceptive Ring for...

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INTERCOURSE, PA—The great Beyoncé once never said, “If you didn’t want it, you shoulda put a ring in it.” As everyone surely doesn’t remember,...

Drug Dealer Makes Seamless Transition to Pharmaceutical Sales Rep

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THE BLOCK, USA - Rarely does a multiple felon make a career comeback - apart from athletes, rappers, bankers, politicians, law enforcement officers, and anyone in the 1%...

Simple Solution to Medication Non-Adherence: Get Patients Addicted to Their Medicine

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BLUNT, SD—An innovative physician fed up with patients who don’t take their medications as prescribed has successfully lobbied Congress and pharmaceutical companies to adopt...
Pharmacists playing poker

Hidden Camera in VA Pharmacy Shows Pharmacists Playing Poker Instead of Dispensing Drugs

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HARTFORD, CT - Recent video footage of workers at Parkland VA Hospital’s pharmacy playing poker has surfaced and is now "going viral."  The hidden camera in...
urine urinating eyeballs

After Being Given 200 mg of IV Lasix, Patient Urinating from Eyeballs

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LOUISVILLE, KY - After receiving a whopping dose of Lasix (furosemide) IV just within the past 20 minutes, Tina O’Rourke has informed those closest...
colored prescription pills

Medical School to Replace Pharmacology Course with Coloring Books

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In a school-wide email to faculty and students, Dean Giles announced the introduction of a new course replacing existing pharmacology classes. Stating that patients are...
cancer drug

Cancer Drug Delayed 2 Years Due to Licensing Deal

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Boston, MA – Astra-Nomical has delayed their wonder cancer drug, Fizamax (ferazepatab), again. This time up to 2 years because of promotional disputes. “We were...