Monday, February 8, 2021

Pharmacy

Horse Veterinarian-Turned-Physician Prescribing Too Many Large Pills and Euthanasia

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BALTIMORE, MD – Former top equine veterinarian for race horses and now turned top physician, Dr. Zack Berger of Johns Hopkins, has been called out by his colleagues for his unusual practices. Whistleblower and colleague, Dr....
afternoon after

FDA Approves Afternoon-After Pill

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INTERCOURSE, PA - “Let’s face it: no one is getting up in the morning after an accident,” said a representative from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) late last night. The FDA recently waived the need for...

Exercise ‘Can Be As Good As Pills’

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Exercise can be as good a medicine as pills for people with conditions such as heart disease, a study has found.  The work in the British Medical Journal (BMJ) looked at hundreds of trials involving nearly...

Drug Prices Outta Control: Man Spends 3 Months’ Salary on Vaginal Contraceptive Ring for...

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INTERCOURSE, PA—The great Beyoncé once never said, “If you didn’t want it, you shoulda put a ring in it.” As everyone surely doesn’t remember, the first “it” refers to a baby, the “ring” is...
pharmacist

Nostalgic Pharmacists Yearn for Good ‘Ole Days of Illegible Doctors’ Prescriptions

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Though pharmacists appreciate the progress that has been made with electronic health records (EHR) and e-prescriptions over the past two decades, many admit they kind of miss the good ‘ole...
Pfizer box of medications

Pfizer Releases Box of Assorted Medications for Valentine’s Day

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer has announced plans to release a limited-edition box of assorted medications in time for Valentine’s Day.  The box consists of a wide variety of Pfizer’s most popular...

Ortho Outraged Pharmacy Doesn’t Carry Methicillin, Wonders How to Treat Patient with MSSA

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WOONSOCKET, RI - Despite numerous cultures coming back as Methicillin Sensitive Staph aureus, most pharmacies no longer carry the ancient antibiotic. This hasn't been an issue for most services in most hospitals across the country....

ER Hires ‘Dilaudid Nazi’ to Dispense (or Not) Dispense Opioids

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ATLANTA, GA - The famous "Soup Nazi" from Seinfeld has been hired by Memorial Hospital’s ER to dispense or not dispense opioids to patients checking in through triage. Just as in his restaurant, a single file...
Bananas

Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to treat patients with nutritional deficiencies, are not made with bananas...

Pharmacy No Longer Accepting Scripts Written in Crayon, Dr. Muppet: ‘Me Angry!’

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ORLANDO, FL – The outpatient pharmacy at Orlando Regional Medical Center (ORMC) has issued a hospital-wide memo Monday that they will stop accepting prescription scripts written in crayon.  Head pharmacist and author of the...