Pharmacy

New Drug Company “Big Pharma” releases full range of Placebos

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Despite being one of the most studied medications there has never been a range of placebos released onto the market. The newly launched Pharmaceutical...
Gas-X brain farts

Neurologists Recommend Gas-X for Treatment of Brain Farts

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - The American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has updated their guidelines for the diagnosis and management of brain farts, a condition characterized...
sodium tricarbonate tricarb

Woohoo!! Scientists Discover Sodium Tricarb!!

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BETHESDA, MD - Look out, everyone, things just got real exciting!  Scientists have made a discovery that is sure to change the face of medicine...
dr evil

Pharmaceutical Company Buys Out Another 20 Generic Drugs, Decides to Raise Drug Prices to…...

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DAYTON, OH - CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals Martin Shkreli made another bold announcement today that his pharmaceutical company has now bought rights for 20 more...
pharmacy

Doctorate of Pharmacy Programs to Add CVS, Walgreens Rewards Card Education Requirement

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WASHINGTON, DC - As a result of successful congressional lobbying efforts by the “big corner drug store” lobby, doctorate of pharmacy programs nationwide will...
Bananas

Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to...

Pharmacist Struggling to Calculate Dinner Tip

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OCEANSIDE, NY - Inpatient pharmacist Mark Donato, beloved and trusted by his fellow physicians and other medical providers for being able to “dose anything,”...
unicorn

Investigation Reveals Dilaudid Manufactured From Unicorn Tears

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Reports from a three year long undercover investigation reveal that Pharmagen has been manufacturing dilaudid using a tremendous volume of unicorn tears. The 3,000...
crocodile moat

Red Line in Medication Room Replaced with Crocodile-Filled Moat

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BOSTON, MA - Any nurse who has dispensed medications knows the ubiquitous red line, in the medication room, near the Pyxis machine.  This is a...
nystatin statin

Dammit, It’s a Ruse! Nystatin Isn’t a Statin After All

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BETHESDA, MD - The medical world is at a loss for words after scientists at the National Institute of Health (NIH) dropped the megaton...