Tuesday, January 26, 2021

Pharmacy

Drug Dealer Makes Seamless Transition to Pharmaceutical Sales Rep

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THE BLOCK, USA - Rarely does a multiple felon make a career comeback - apart from athletes, rappers, bankers, politicians, law enforcement officers, and anyone in the 1% - but retired drug dealer Green Giant recently beat those...

New Drug Company “Big Pharma” releases full range of Placebos

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Despite being one of the most studied medications there has never been a range of placebos released onto the market. The newly launched Pharmaceutical company “Big Pharma” saw this gap and have developed a...
pharmacist

Pharmacists Reassure Worried Public They’ll Never Run Out of GoLytely

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BRAINTREE, MA—From antibiotics to analgesics and anesthetics to ACLS drugs, there is an underreported epidemic of drug shortages in America. With over 140 vital drugs currently in short supply, the health of patients is...
Pfizer box of medications

Pfizer Releases Box of Assorted Medications for Valentine’s Day

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer has announced plans to release a limited-edition box of assorted medications in time for Valentine’s Day.  The box consists of a wide variety of Pfizer’s most popular...
pharmacist

A Pharmacist’s Nightmare: A Drug Seeker & Their Excuses

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We all know that pharmacists and pharmacy technicians are on the front lines when it comes to drug-seeking patients. Somehow they can hold it together after a long day of being yelled at by...
urine urinating eyeballs

After Being Given 200 mg of IV Lasix, Patient Urinating from Eyeballs

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LOUISVILLE, KY - After receiving a whopping dose of Lasix (furosemide) IV just within the past 20 minutes, Tina O’Rourke has informed those closest to her that she is not only adequately urinating from...
used speculum tongue depressor

Ten Spectacular Off-Label Uses of the Speculum

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You’re probably familiar with the traditional use of the speculum: visualization of the cervical os, blah blah blah.  We at Gomerblog are pleased to share some exciting uses of what has been hailed by...
staph staff

Staph Aureus Bacterium Ridiculed by for Still Being Sensitive to Methicillin

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A single, sad Staph Aureus bacterium has been shunned from its colony for still being sensitive to methicillin in the year 2019. “Apparently it didn’t get the memo,” said the leader of the colony. “This...
Pharmacists playing poker

Hidden Camera in VA Pharmacy Shows Pharmacists Playing Poker Instead of Dispensing Drugs

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HARTFORD, CT - Recent video footage of workers at Parkland VA Hospital’s pharmacy playing poker has surfaced and is now "going viral."  The hidden camera in the back of the pharmacy caught 6 pharmacists and pharmacy technicians...

Simple Solution to Medication Non-Adherence: Get Patients Addicted to Their Medicine

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BLUNT, SD—An innovative physician fed up with patients who don’t take their medications as prescribed has successfully lobbied Congress and pharmaceutical companies to adopt his rock-solid plan to improve adherence: Get patients addicted to...