Controlled Substance Just Wants to Be Treated Like Other Substances
PHARMACY, USA - “You know, I’m just like everyone else. I just want to be in the same classes, have the same schedule,” lamented...
Nostalgic Pharmacists Yearn for Good ‘Ole Days of Illegible Doctors’ Prescriptions
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Though pharmacists appreciate the progress that has been made with electronic health records (EHR) and e-prescriptions over the past two...
Full-Strength Aspirin Now 331 Milligrams to Adjust for Inflation
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) in conjunction with the U.S. Department of the Treasury have reported that they have increased...
Hospital Renamed “Our Lady of Perpetual Shortage”
In honor of recent supply chain deficiencies, FDA recalls, as well as loss of manufacturing capabilities from recent environmental disasters in Puerto Rico and...
Pharmacist Struggling to Calculate Dinner Tip
OCEANSIDE, NY - Inpatient pharmacist Mark Donato, beloved and trusted by his fellow physicians and other medical providers for being able to “dose anything,”...
Local Doctor Consults Sauron to Create the One Pill to Cure Them All
“I was at my wits’ end with these chronic pain patients,” Local doctor Fro Doe told reporters. “They keep coming in over and over...
Medicine Changed Forever After Dr. Google Granted Prescriptive Authority
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Medicine will be changed forever after yesterday's ruling allowing online medical symptom checker sites, including Dr. Google, to prescribe medications.
"We plan...
Medical School to Replace Pharmacology Course with Coloring Books
In a school-wide email to faculty and students, Dean Giles announced the introduction of a new course replacing existing pharmacology classes.
Stating that patients are...
Hospital Replaces Pharmacists with “Narcotic Sommeliers”
SANTA CLARA, CA - A Bay Area hospital is making a bold move to improve patient satisfaction, as last week its staff pharmacists were...
New Drug Company “Big Pharma” releases full range of Placebos
Despite being one of the most studied medications there has never been a range of placebos released onto the market. The newly launched Pharmaceutical...