Pharmacy

epinephrine

Patient Dies When Nurse Unable To Scan Epinephrine Vial at Code

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FORT WAYNE, IN - A nurse’s worst nightmare occurred tonight at Lincoln Memorial Hospital in Fort Wayne.  A code blue was called overhead and...
hospital administrators

Hospital Renamed “Our Lady of Perpetual Shortage”

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In honor of recent supply chain deficiencies, FDA recalls, as well as loss of manufacturing capabilities from recent environmental disasters in Puerto Rico and...
Medical center

Medicine Changed Forever After Dr. Google Granted Prescriptive Authority

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Medicine will be changed forever after yesterday's ruling allowing online medical symptom checker sites, including Dr. Google, to prescribe medications. "We plan...
narcos

Fifth Season of Netflix’s ‘Narcos’ To Be Set In Washington, D.C.

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SCOTTS VALLEY, CA - Seasons 1 through 3 chronicled the drug trade through Columbia, Season 4 is poised to go to Mexico, and it...
Bananas

Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to...

New Drug Company “Big Pharma” releases full range of Placebos

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Despite being one of the most studied medications there has never been a range of placebos released onto the market. The newly launched Pharmaceutical...
pharmacist

Pharmacists Reassure Worried Public They’ll Never Run Out of GoLytely

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BRAINTREE, MA—From antibiotics to analgesics and anesthetics to ACLS drugs, there is an underreported epidemic of drug shortages in America. With over 140 vital...
doctor prescribing

Doctor’s Last Drug-Rep Pen Running Out of Ink, Future Prescription Decisions Uncertain

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CRANQUISVILLE, USA - The Affordable Care Act of 2010 brought many changes to the US healthcare (insurance) system, and doctors have already felt the...
pharmacist

Nostalgic Pharmacists Yearn for Good ‘Ole Days of Illegible Doctors’ Prescriptions

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Though pharmacists appreciate the progress that has been made with electronic health records (EHR) and e-prescriptions over the past two...
staph staff

Staph Aureus Bacterium Ridiculed by for Still Being Sensitive to Methicillin

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A single, sad Staph Aureus bacterium has been shunned from its colony for still being sensitive to methicillin in the year 2019. “Apparently it didn’t...