Pharmacy

unicorn

Investigation Reveals Dilaudid Manufactured From Unicorn Tears

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Reports from a three year long undercover investigation reveal that Pharmagen has been manufacturing dilaudid using a tremendous volume of unicorn tears. The 3,000...

Pharmacy No Longer Accepting Scripts Written in Crayon, Dr. Muppet: ‘Me Angry!’

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ORLANDO, FL – The outpatient pharmacy at Orlando Regional Medical Center (ORMC) has issued a hospital-wide memo Monday that they will stop accepting prescription...
sodium tricarbonate tricarb

Woohoo!! Scientists Discover Sodium Tricarb!!

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BETHESDA, MD - Look out, everyone, things just got real exciting!  Scientists have made a discovery that is sure to change the face of medicine...
hospital administrators

Hospital Renamed “Our Lady of Perpetual Shortage”

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In honor of recent supply chain deficiencies, FDA recalls, as well as loss of manufacturing capabilities from recent environmental disasters in Puerto Rico and...
banana bag

Unsure What’s a Banana Bag, Pharmacist Just Bags a Bunch of Bananas

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HONOLULU, HI - New pharmacist Aaron Prior-Auth admits he was flustered when nurse practitioner Karen Kaufmann called him up to get a "banana bag,...
epipen price increase

EpiPen Users Develop Shock Over EpiPen Prices: Treatment, More EpiPens

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WASHINGTON, DC - Numerous cases of EpiPen Price Gouging Shock (EPGS) are sweeping the nation after EpiPen prices continue to be hiked up by...
work burnout

FDA approves first novel drug to treat medical burnout

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TWISP, WA - The US Food and Drug Administration today approved Peaceaudi (Idongivafumab) injection for intravenous use for the treatment of medical burnout. “Medical burnout...
pharmacist

A Pharmacist’s Nightmare: A Drug Seeker & Their Excuses

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We all know that pharmacists and pharmacy technicians are on the front lines when it comes to drug-seeking patients. Somehow they can hold it...
pharmacist

Pharmacists Reassure Worried Public They’ll Never Run Out of GoLytely

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BRAINTREE, MA—From antibiotics to analgesics and anesthetics to ACLS drugs, there is an underreported epidemic of drug shortages in America. With over 140 vital...

Tips: How to Pronounce a Difficult Drug Name Without Choking, Aspirating, Dying

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Last month, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (“The” FDA) approved the efficacious and unpronounceable idarucizumab (also known, thankfully, as Praxbind) to reverse the...