Pharmacy

Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has unveiled a new strategy against the nation's opioid epidemic, and it simply involves giving the...

Ortho Outraged Pharmacy Doesn’t Carry Methicillin, Wonders How to Treat Patient with MSSA

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WOONSOCKET, RI - Despite numerous cultures coming back as Methicillin Sensitive Staph aureus, most pharmacies no longer carry the ancient antibiotic. This hasn't been an...
benadryl

So Your Patient Is Allergic to Benadryl? Diphenhydramine Might Be the Answer

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One might think it counter intuitive to re-administer a known allergen to a patient, especially if they are in the throws of an allergic...
pills

Makers of Dilaudid to Officially Change Name to ‘That One That Starts with a...

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a stunning move the makers of Dilaudid (hydromorphone) have officially changed their product name to “That One That Starts with...

Pharmacology Course Cancelled After Study Suggests It Influences Med Students’ Future Prescribing Behavior

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WASHINGTON, DC—Citing new research from the Pharmaceutical Research & Manufacturers of America (PhRMA) that indicates physicians prescribe drugs they learned about in medical school...
narcos

Fifth Season of Netflix’s ‘Narcos’ To Be Set In Washington, D.C.

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SCOTTS VALLEY, CA - Seasons 1 through 3 chronicled the drug trade through Columbia, Season 4 is poised to go to Mexico, and it...
salmon eggs

Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory

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DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine.  This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals...
pharmacist

Nostalgic Pharmacists Yearn for Good ‘Ole Days of Illegible Doctors’ Prescriptions

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Though pharmacists appreciate the progress that has been made with electronic health records (EHR) and e-prescriptions over the past two...
epipen price increase

EpiPen Users Develop Shock Over EpiPen Prices: Treatment, More EpiPens

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WASHINGTON, DC - Numerous cases of EpiPen Price Gouging Shock (EPGS) are sweeping the nation after EpiPen prices continue to be hiked up by...

ER Hires ‘Dilaudid Nazi’ to Dispense (or Not) Dispense Opioids

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ATLANTA, GA - The famous "Soup Nazi" from Seinfeld has been hired by Memorial Hospital’s ER to dispense or not dispense opioids to patients checking...