Ortho Outraged Pharmacy Doesn’t Carry Methicillin, Wonders How to Treat Patient with MSSA
WOONSOCKET, RI - Despite numerous cultures coming back as Methicillin Sensitive Staph aureus, most pharmacies no longer carry the ancient antibiotic.
This hasn't been an...
Hospital Renamed “Our Lady of Perpetual Shortage”
In honor of recent supply chain deficiencies, FDA recalls, as well as loss of manufacturing capabilities from recent environmental disasters in Puerto Rico and...
Unsure What’s a Banana Bag, Pharmacist Just Bags a Bunch of Bananas
HONOLULU, HI - New pharmacist Aaron Prior-Auth admits he was flustered when nurse practitioner Karen Kaufmann called him up to get a "banana bag,...
Meet Dilaudicillin the Groundbreaking New Narcotic/Antibiotic Combo that has Patient Satisfaction Scores Through the...
In the era of Press-Ganey scores, most physicians have finally accepted that they are essentially waiters whose job is to serve the every whim...
RxCupid a New Dating Site for Patients
PALO ALTO, CA - A new dating site has received its initial funding, called RxCupid. The website tries to match the perfect patients together....
Dr. Oz is Right: “The Miracle Pill” is for Real
A world-renowned TV celebrity physician Dr. Oz unraveled the mystery behind “The Miracle Pill.” “This sh** is for real,” says Dr. Oz while throwing...
Full-Strength Aspirin Now 331 Milligrams to Adjust for Inflation
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) in conjunction with the U.S. Department of the Treasury have reported that they have increased...
Local Doctor Consults Sauron to Create the One Pill to Cure Them All
“I was at my wits’ end with these chronic pain patients,” Local doctor Fro Doe told reporters. “They keep coming in over and over...
Doctor’s Last Drug-Rep Pen Running Out of Ink, Future Prescription Decisions Uncertain
CRANQUISVILLE, USA - The Affordable Care Act of 2010 brought many changes to the US healthcare (insurance) system, and doctors have already felt the...
Makers of Dilaudid to Officially Change Name to ‘That One That Starts with a...
WASHINGTON, DC - In a stunning move the makers of Dilaudid (hydromorphone) have officially changed their product name to “That One That Starts with...