Pharmacy

staph staff

Staph Aureus Bacterium Ridiculed by for Still Being Sensitive to Methicillin

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A single, sad Staph Aureus bacterium has been shunned from its colony for still being sensitive to methicillin in the year 2019. “Apparently it didn’t...

Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters

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Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...

New Dating Website ‘Just Pharmacists’ Proven to Reduce Cardiomyopathy

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For many a lonely pharmacist, the only drug in critical shortage is love. Now, thanks to the makers of such successes as Ashley Madison,...
aspirin 331 mg inflation

Full-Strength Aspirin Now 331 Milligrams to Adjust for Inflation

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) in conjunction with the U.S. Department of the Treasury have reported that they have increased...
polypharmacy

MegaPharm Introduces New Pill to Treat Polypharmacy

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NEW YORK, NY - In a bid to capture even more market share in the growing cohort of Americans taking more than ten scheduled...

Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has unveiled a new strategy against the nation's opioid epidemic, and it simply involves giving the...

RxCupid a New Dating Site for Patients

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PALO ALTO, CA - A new dating site has received its initial funding, called RxCupid.  The website tries to match the perfect patients together....

Dr. Oz is Right: “The Miracle Pill” is for Real

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A world-renowned TV celebrity physician Dr. Oz unraveled the mystery behind “The Miracle Pill.”  “This sh** is for real,” says Dr. Oz while throwing...
pills

Makers of Dilaudid to Officially Change Name to ‘That One That Starts with a...

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a stunning move the makers of Dilaudid (hydromorphone) have officially changed their product name to “That One That Starts with...

Patient Holding $1000 new iPhone X Very Upset About $5 Prescription CoPay

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LA JOLLA, CA – Natalia Miller could not understand what the idiots at the La Jolla Primary Care Clinic and Botox Salon didn’t get...