Pharmacy

Medical center

Medicine Changed Forever After Dr. Google Granted Prescriptive Authority

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Medicine will be changed forever after yesterday's ruling allowing online medical symptom checker sites, including Dr. Google, to prescribe medications. "We plan...
cancer drug

Meet Dilaudicillin the Groundbreaking New Narcotic/Antibiotic Combo that has Patient Satisfaction Scores Through the...

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In the era of Press-Ganey scores, most physicians have finally accepted that they are essentially waiters whose job is to serve the every whim...
homeopathy

Homeopathic Drug Rep No More Effective Than Placebo, New Study Finds

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A new study published by the University of South Pennington shows that Homeopathic drug reps are no more effective at convincing homeopaths to use...
salmon eggs

Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory

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DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine.  This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals...
Pfizer box of medications

Pfizer Releases Box of Assorted Medications for Valentine’s Day

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer has announced plans to release a limited-edition box of assorted medications in time for Valentine’s Day.  The...
Bananas

Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to...

Night Float Intern Boldly Chooses Non-Vanc/Zosyn Empiric Antibiotic Regimen

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DALLAS, TX - Night calls can be a scary thing for new interns.  Everything from blood pressures of 170/80 and sleeping pill requests in...
chloride

Breaking: Nurse Initiates Lesser-Known Chloride Repletion Protocol

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Nurse Jess Casamento of Ochsner Medical Center is one of the best when it comes to repleting electrolytes: potassium, magnesium, even...
African child

African Child Tragically Unaware He Has ‘Marker Negative Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder’‏

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MAUN, BOTSWANA - A desperately impoverished 6-year-old boy in Sub-Saharan Africa lacks the access to medical care which could properly diagnose his "Marker Negative...
wine pairs

Hospital Replaces Pharmacists with “Narcotic Sommeliers”

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SANTA CLARA, CA - A Bay Area hospital is making a bold move to improve patient satisfaction, as last week its staff pharmacists were...