New Multivitamin Cures Cancer, Heart Disease, Famine, Evil
SAN DIEGO, CA - A new miracle multivitamin released by pharmaceutical company Pfizer last month has taken the world by storm as it not...
Night Float Intern Boldly Chooses Non-Vanc/Zosyn Empiric Antibiotic Regimen
DALLAS, TX - Night calls can be a scary thing for new interns. Everything from blood pressures of 170/80 and sleeping pill requests in...
Investigation Reveals Dilaudid Manufactured From Unicorn Tears
Reports from a three year long undercover investigation reveal that Pharmagen has been manufacturing dilaudid using a tremendous volume of unicorn tears. The 3,000...
Full-Strength Aspirin Now 331 Milligrams to Adjust for Inflation
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) in conjunction with the U.S. Department of the Treasury have reported that they have increased...
Patient Dies When Nurse Unable To Scan Epinephrine Vial at Code
FORT WAYNE, IN - A nurse’s worst nightmare occurred tonight at Lincoln Memorial Hospital in Fort Wayne. A code blue was called overhead and...
Pharmacists Reassure Worried Public They’ll Never Run Out of GoLytely
BRAINTREE, MA—From antibiotics to analgesics and anesthetics to ACLS drugs, there is an underreported epidemic of drug shortages in America. With over 140 vital...
ER Places Bowl Full of Percocet in Waiting Room, Lowers Visits
HANOVER, NJ – Local emergency medicine physicians have developed a groundbreaking way to reduce the number of patients they will see during a shift. The...
Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to...
Horse Veterinarian-Turned-Physician Prescribing Too Many Large Pills and Euthanasia
BALTIMORE, MD – Former top equine veterinarian for race horses and now turned top physician, Dr. Zack Berger of Johns Hopkins, has been called out...
African Child Tragically Unaware He Has ‘Marker Negative Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder’
MAUN, BOTSWANA - A desperately impoverished 6-year-old boy in Sub-Saharan Africa lacks the access to medical care which could properly diagnose his "Marker Negative...