Pharmacy

ER Hires ‘Dilaudid Nazi’ to Dispense (or Not) Dispense Opioids

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ATLANTA, GA - The famous "Soup Nazi" from Seinfeld has been hired by Memorial Hospital’s ER to dispense or not dispense opioids to patients checking...

Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated

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RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning.  She found...

Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters

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Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...
staph staff

Staph Aureus Bacterium Ridiculed by for Still Being Sensitive to Methicillin

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A single, sad Staph Aureus bacterium has been shunned from its colony for still being sensitive to methicillin in the year 2019. “Apparently it didn’t...

Starbucks Offering Frappuccino Drips for a Limited Time

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SEATTLE, WA - To help mitigate caffeine withdrawal in its hospitalized customers, Starbucks will be partnering with inpatient pharmacies for a limited time to...
epipen price increase

EpiPen Users Develop Shock Over EpiPen Prices: Treatment, More EpiPens

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WASHINGTON, DC - Numerous cases of EpiPen Price Gouging Shock (EPGS) are sweeping the nation after EpiPen prices continue to be hiked up by...
cancer drug

Meet Dilaudicillin the Groundbreaking New Narcotic/Antibiotic Combo that has Patient Satisfaction Scores Through the...

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In the era of Press-Ganey scores, most physicians have finally accepted that they are essentially waiters whose job is to serve the every whim...

New Dating Website ‘Just Pharmacists’ Proven to Reduce Cardiomyopathy

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For many a lonely pharmacist, the only drug in critical shortage is love. Now, thanks to the makers of such successes as Ashley Madison,...

RxCupid a New Dating Site for Patients

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PALO ALTO, CA - A new dating site has received its initial funding, called RxCupid.  The website tries to match the perfect patients together....
orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics

Breaking News: Orthopod Catches Dosing Error

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BOSTON, MA - Rotating Orthopedics 4th year resident, Dr. Brandt Sullivan, caught a medication error at Boston Children’s Hospital two nights ago. Dr. Sullivan...