Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Pharmacy

Shark Attack Victim Denied Narcotics

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PENSACOLA BEACH, FL - Skip Sanders alternated between spearfishing and surfing, depending on the waves.  Yesterday, an errant harpoon from his spear gun grazed a bull shark. Chomping ensued. Despite the loss of all four limbs, Skip managed...

ER Hires ‘Dilaudid Nazi’ to Dispense (or Not) Dispense Opioids

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ATLANTA, GA - The famous "Soup Nazi" from Seinfeld has been hired by Memorial Hospital’s ER to dispense or not dispense opioids to patients checking in through triage. Just as in his restaurant, a single file...
cancer drug

Cancer Drug Delayed 2 Years Due to Licensing Deal

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Boston, MA – Astra-Nomical has delayed their wonder cancer drug, Fizamax (ferazepatab), again. This time up to 2 years because of promotional disputes. “We were in late talks with Lucasfilm to have their new Jedi...
Pharmacists playing poker

Hidden Camera in VA Pharmacy Shows Pharmacists Playing Poker Instead of Dispensing Drugs

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HARTFORD, CT - Recent video footage of workers at Parkland VA Hospital’s pharmacy playing poker has surfaced and is now "going viral."  The hidden camera in the back of the pharmacy caught 6 pharmacists and pharmacy technicians...

It’s Time for a Change: Pharmacists Tired of Being the Last Stop in a...

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CHARLESTON, SC - Pharmacists across the country are angry in regards to the pharmacy being the last stop in a patient’s day.  Typically, patients are exhausted when they show up to the pharmacy, but national pharmacy leaders want...

Multi-Use Medication Vials Used More Than Once, Pharmacy Puzzled

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SHARON, PA - In the epic battle for hospital supremacy, Anesthesia vanquished Radiology by delaying an OR case much longer than the fifteen minutes it takes to navigate an X-ray machine from the...

ER Places Bowl Full of Percocet in Waiting Room, Lowers Visits

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HANOVER, NJ – Local emergency medicine physicians have developed a groundbreaking way to reduce the number of patients they will see during a shift.  The new policy mimics a common Halloween tradition: leave a bowl...
Pyxis machine broken glass

Pyxis Machine Dispenses Broken Glass Dilaudid Ampule, Laughs on the Inside

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CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - GomerBlog brings breaking news regarding those fragile glass fentanyl and Dilaudid ampules in the Pyxis machine.  Apparently the machine enjoys dispensing medications with a cracked top, and even "laughs on the inside" according to...
dilaudid

Report: Nurse on 3rd Floor Excited to Give 0.1 mg of Dilaudid

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CHICAGO, IL – Local nurse Melissa Jacobson’s shift just got better when she noticed what was written for pain medication on her patient. “Oh, Boy!  0.1 mg, I can hardly wait.  Goodbye, pain,” chimed...
Libido Pills

New Female Libido Pill to Hit Shelves

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ATLANTA, GA - A new female libido pill is expected to hit shelves this week called Pamper.  The pill is designed to put that flame back in the bedroom, but the way it works may...