eternal life

New Study Shows Tammyflu Pills Provide Eternal Life

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Yesterday, Roach Pharmaceuticals announced the results of a new flu treatment study which is sure to change the course of...
respiratory system secedes capacity

Respiratory System Secedes, Declares Independence from Human Body

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THE HUMAN BODY - In a stunning development that will inevitably alter the balance of power within us all, the respiratory system has successfully...
Radiology scanner

Tip: If You Need to Extubate Patient, Send to Radiology

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PITTSBURGH, PA – Hope Mercy ICU is starting a new policy that if you need your patient extubated just send them to radiology. "Usually when...
registered nurses

Memes, Memes, and More Medical Memes

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Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated

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RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning.  She found...

Girlfriend Loses It Over Watching Medical TV Show With RT Boyfriend

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Susie Thompson lost her shit late Tuesday night after watching an episode of the CBS medical drama “Code Black” with her boyfriend. Steve Hughes,...

Intern Inadvertently Orders Negative Pressure Ventilation; Patient Placed in Iron Lung

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DALLAS, TX - While placing orders on rounds, intern TooMany Orders clicked over to the Respiratory section in the hospital’s surprisingly thorough EMR. The...
productive cough

Getting Things Done: Cough Quite Productive Today

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HUNTSVILLE, AL - Checking off its To Do list like it's nobody else's business, patient Reynold Baker's cough is happy to report that it...
mechanical ventilator

Night Shift Enjoys New Ventilator Mode

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GOLETA, CA - Puritan Bennett's new ventilator mode is a hit with the Bay Harbor Hospital night shift. Along with the standard AC, SIMV,...