Breaking: Potato Sees Ophthalmologist for Yearly Eye Exam
BOISE, ID - America's favorite vegetable, the potato, went for its yearly exam today. "Its five eyes continue to be in good health with perfect...
Tips: How to Worsen Your Already-Terrible Bedside Manner
You may find your bedside manner is pretty terrible given how busy you are and your general frustration with humanity as a whole. If...
Family Admits That Putting Grandma in the Top Bunk was Probably a Bad Idea
BROOKLYN, NY - After thinking back on the events that had transpired over the past week, the family of 98-year-old Bertha Schwartz, who presented...
Medical Student Horrified to Learn Patient Has Normal Sized Phallus
In a shocking turn of events, third year medical student Dan Rydberg's first day of his urology rotation took a horrific turn this past...
Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult
If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked. It is the end of the day and...
Hospital Taking Patient Satisfaction Scores Way Too Seriously
CHICAGO, IL - "Simply outrageous," were comments expressed by physicians and nurses in regards to how hospital administrators were implementing new management policies at Mercy...
Ophthalmology Resident Consulted to Put Glasses On
Rapidly responding to his third page for acute onset vision loss from the ED, third year ophthalmology resident Dr Wobleski stepped into the eye...
Patients Love New Turkey Sandwich with Dilaudid & Benadryl: The Turlaudidryl Special
NEW ORLEANS, LA - In a brilliant new campaign to improve patient satisfaction scores at the expense of appropriate medical care, hospital administrators and...
Surgeon Takes Clinic Patient Home to Avoid 30-Day Readmission
BOSTON, MA - Dr. Johnny NoSleep, a local vascular surgeon, was sailing his way through his Friday afternoon post-op clinic until he was derailed...