Medical Student Paged ‘Stat’ for Fecal Disimpaction Case
PHOENIX, AZ - At 2:30 a.m., medical student Amanda Williamson was abruptly woken from her deep sleep to a STAT page. "At first I didn't...
FDA Approves 55-Hour ENERGY for Incoming July Interns
WASHINGTON, DC - In a major win for soon-to-be-exhausted incoming July interns at residency programs across the land, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has...
Surface of Mercury Less Toxic Than Hospital Work Environment
WASHINGTON, DC - Scientists at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) have analyzed data suggesting that the surface of Mercury, though not suitable for...
New Cosmetic Anesthesia Services Get Glowing Patient Reviews
CALABASAS, CA - Patient satisfaction has skyrocketed at a local California hospital after the decision to implement a Cosmetic Anesthesia program. Surgical patients can...
MS3 Responsible for Additional 50cc Blood Loss During Surgery for Doing ‘The Dab’ Instead...
AKRON, OH - After working in academics for over 20 years in Gynecology, Dr. Marshall thought she had seen it all. But a whole...
Patient Can’t Wait to Yank Out Foley, Cause Bloodbath
ATLANTA, GA - In exciting news today, patient Arnold Starks has announced that later today he will yank out his Foley with "full force...
Breaking News: Local Urologist is a Giant Dick
NASHVILLE, TN - After examining thousands upon thousands of male genitalia, area urologist Richard Ball-Sax has been called by patients, colleagues, friends, and family...
Know Your Hospital Diets
It can be confusing telling apart all those different hospital diets, so here's a primer to break down some of the most common ones.
Clear...
ENT Docs Vote Unanimously to Drop the Nose, Will Only Treat Ear & Throat
ALEXANDRIA, VA—In a move that has left many speechless, the board of directors of the American Academy of Otolaryngology (AAO) voted unanimously today to...
Old School vs. New School Physical Exam
The physical exam has changed, let's admit it. In what ways? Let's compare the old school and new school physical exams and see how...