Surgery

anesthesiologist intubating

Anesthesiologist Calls Code Blue in Operating Room For True Emergency

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SAN DIEGO, CA - Today, a disastrous situation was narrowly averted at Gastric Bypass Takeback Hospital, when a code blue was announced to Operating...
abdominal pain

Hospitalist Becomes Own Endless Loop

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In a stunning procession of events, nocturnist Angus "Kilty" McSwagger became the only known hospitalist to experience the so-called "admission mirror paradox."  Long speculated...

American Red Cross Creates American Brown Cross for Fecal Transplant Donations

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WASHINGTON, DC - Despite increasing clinician awareness and education as well as instituting universal gloving procedures, hospital-associated Clostridium difficile infections have continued to be...
em physician

45-Year-Old EM Physician Reflects Back Upon 4.0 GPA in College While Manually Disimpacting Patient

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PENDELTON, IN - Departmental Emergency Medicine Chief Dr. Glenn Henderson was seen staring off into space daydreaming on Monday morning, while digitally disimpacting a 90-year-old nursing home...
applauding doctors

Ortho Writes Perfect SOAP Note, First No-Worder This Year

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Cliff Kershaw of UCLA Medical Center etched his way into the record books early this morning as he wrote the...
doctors lent

What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?

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General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine.  “Oh, your tummy hurts?  Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?” Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid.  The screams will...
operation exam

American Board of Surgery Replaces Qualifying & Certifying Exams with Board Game Operation

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - In stark contrast to the recent stringent and controversial criteria for Maintenance of Certification (MOC) set by the American Board of...

Surgery on a Grape: Behind the Drapes

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By now, everyone has seen the videos of the da Vinci robotic surgery system being used to skin a grape, and the memes that...
waiting on hold on phone

Fears Grow As Even More Doctors Die On Neverending Phone Hold

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC released chilling statistics demonstrating an epidemic of doctor deaths while on endless phone holds.  "This is a disturbing trend,"...
orthopedic surgeon ortho spelling bee WBAT sticks & stones

An Orthopedic Surgeon Explains: Diastolic Heart Failure

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Brosefs and lady folk: It seems that every now and then we have to deal with something other than the bones.  As you can imagine,...