Surgery

Hospital Enacts New BYOD Policy: Bring Your Own Dilaudid

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NEW YORK, NY - With patients treating hospitals like an a la carte restaurant or 5-star luxury hotel, hospital leaders at New York Medical...
butthurt anal resection

Breaking: Anal Resection Now First-Line Treatment for Butthurt

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CHICAGO, IL - In response to an exponential increase in cases of butthurt over the past several years, the American College of Surgeons (ACS)...
reverse trendelenburg

Doctor Reverse Actually the Discoverer of Reverse-Trendelenburg

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MUNICH, GERMANY – Agatha Reverse is a well-known surgeon from Germany around 1870, who removed numerous gallbladders.  To help her with surgical exposure she decided to place the...

Patient Stuck in Endless ‘Clearance’ Referral Pattern, Hasn’t Had Surgery in 6 Years

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Mr. Smith, a 67-year-old man with a fair number of medical problems, has been trying to be medically cleared for an inguinal hernia operation...
ophthalmology

Precious Ophthalmologist Tries to Help During Code

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PITTSBURGH, PA – Arriving to the surgical ICU with his little box full of eye equipment, precious ophthalmologist Thomas Finkle reportedly tried to help...
lawn mower

Local Man Loses Arm in Lawnmower Accident, ‘Why Can’t My Arm Be Made of...

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WITCHITA, KS – Kevin O’Neil had an unfortunate accident yesterday where he lost his right arm.  “I was reaching into the mower to clear...
blood

Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit

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DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%.  Bowers...
Erie Canal ear canal

The Difference Between an Ear Canal & the Erie Canal

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Unless you're an otolaryngologist from upstate New York, understanding the differences between an ear canal and the Erie Canal can prove very difficult.  Gomerblog...

Intern Becomes Sentient, Realizes No One Cares About His Med School War Stories

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SAN DIEGO, CA – In a shocking display of comprehension, local General Surgery intern Gunner Retractorhölder, realized that his now 15 minute long story...