Surgery

finall four medical

Road to the Final Four Best Lifestyle Medical Specialties

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INDIANA - After another exciting and grueling March Madness Hospital Edition, with some upsets and bracket busters, the Final Four Medical Specialties with the...
anesthesiologist hospital

Hospital Replaces Anesthesiologists with Voice-Activated OR Tables, Saves Millions

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SAN JOSE, CA - In what appears to be a medical first, surgeons at Methodist Northwest Hospital have found that using voice-activated operating room...

Newly Promoted General Surgeon’s Business Cards, A Little Too True

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LOS ANGELES, CA – UCLA’s newly promoted general surgeon, Assistant Professor William Heffner, just received his updated business cards today.  An unfortunate error in...
medical consults

Tips: How to Suck at Calling Consults

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We all take pride in trying to call in a good consult.  But sometimes you get that feeling.  You know the one.  The one...
wallet aorta

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Hoping He Didn’t Leave Wallet in Guy’s Aorta

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NEW YORK, NY - As cardiothoracic surgeon Timothy Carter sews his patient's sternum closed after successful repair of an ascending aortic aneurysm, he can't help...
red blood cells

Breaking: Patient Taking Blood Thinner to Keep Blood Thin!

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KEARNEY, NE - Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Naya Statin was in for a revelation when gathering medication history from a new patient Gabby Pentin. "I see that...

Surgeon Struggles to Carve Turkey at Thanksgiving

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DES MOINES, IA - Thanksgiving has finally arrived and is in full swing across the country.  Millions of dysfunctional families get together for a celebration...
orthopedic surgeon ortho spelling bee WBAT sticks & stones

Nice Work, Brah: Ortho Note Mentions Horizontal Nystagmus

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BOSTON, MA - Hospitalists, neurologists, and neurosurgeons at Massachusetts Specific Hospital in Boston were dumbfounded this morning when they found that a note by...

Medical Student Accidentally Pimps Orthopedic Surgeon

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NEW YORK, NY - In what is being called a “total collapse of the medical training hierarchy,” third-year medical student Jennifer Hutchinson of University Medical...
orthopod bury bone backyard

Orthopod Rushes Home to Bury Bone in the Backyard

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AUSTIN, TX - Unable to contain his excitement any longer with a freshly-harvested femur in his right paw, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley bolted out...