Surgery

BREAKING: Ortho Intern is First Hospital Employee to Actually Enjoy Joint Commission Visit

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Hospital administrators are up in arms due to Joint Commission complaints that ortho intern, Seth Sholderson, is impeding the Commission’s ability...
opthalmologist

Ophthalmology Resident Consulted to Put Glasses On

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Rapidly responding to his third page for acute onset vision loss from the ED, third year ophthalmology resident Dr Wobleski stepped into the eye...
piggy bank, gruesome

Piggy Bank in OR After Gruesome Attack with Hammer

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ATLANTA, GA - Trauma surgeons at Grady Memorial Hospital, one of Georgia's Level I Trauma Centers, are working around the clock to piece back...
Stryker drone

Secretary Tom Price Deploys Stryker Drone to Mass Vaccinate America for Flu

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – Fresh off ex-fixing the Washington Monument, new Secretary of Health and Human Services and orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has turned his...
ophthalmology Mr. Potato Head

Ophtho Emergently Consulted to Reattach Mr. Potato Head’s Eyes

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BROOKLYN, NY - Emergency room physicians at Maimonides Medical Center did not waste any time consulting ophthalmology to restore the vision of Mr. Potato...

Intern Becomes Sentient, Realizes No One Cares About His Med School War Stories

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SAN DIEGO, CA – In a shocking display of comprehension, local General Surgery intern Gunner Retractorhölder, realized that his now 15 minute long story...

Narc Madness

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It's that time of year, time to pick your favorite narcotic and see if it will make it to the final 4!  This year...
waiting on hold on phone

Fears Grow As Even More Doctors Die On Neverending Phone Hold

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC released chilling statistics demonstrating an epidemic of doctor deaths while on endless phone holds.  "This is a disturbing trend,"...
surgeon operating

Surgeons to operate 6 feet away from patient in operating room

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Per compliance with "social distancing," all OR staff will now stand 6 feet away from each other, including 6 feet away from the patient. Neurosurgeon...
emergency physician

Dear BaconSpeak Voice Recognition Software Company

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I am an emergent see room dock door.  I am righting to let you no how much eye am in joying your voice recognition...