Health Care Providers Hail the Launch of the New “Patient Complaint Line”
Following in the pattern of patient satisfaction scores, Dreamland General Hospital has initiated a new "Patient Complaint Line." When a patient has acted in...
Struggling Hospital Converts Idle Operating Rooms Into Escape Rooms on Weekend
SPRINGFIELD, NJ—One of the most popular new forms of entertainment may be coming to a hospital near you. In an effort to make more...
AMiON Scheduler To Be Replaced With A Simplified Text Saying ‘Yes’
NEWTON, MA - In a move aimed at reducing operative costs, Spiral software's administrative staff issued a statement according to which AMiON popular scheduler is...
American College of Surgeons to Publish New “Because I Said So” or BISS-Based Medicine...
WASHINGTON, DC - A press release today from the American College of Surgeons stated, “After years of putting up with the satanic nonsense known...
Teamwork at its Finest: Surgeons Successfully Divide Meatball Sub in Three
COOKEVILLE, TN - An a dazzling display of what can be achieved in an operating room when everyone brings their A game and is...
HHS Announces New Crack Down on Illicit Cardiac Massage Parlors
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Officials from the Department of Health and Human Services Monday announced a joint operation with Departments of Homeland Security and the...
Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes
NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid...
Most Cases of Love at Second Sight Due to Nearsightedness
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - We've all heard the phrase "Love at first sight." But what about those people who don't fall in love at...
What We Like & Dislike About the New Apple Pager
CUPERTINO, CA - Lost amidst the excitement of the new Apple Watch has been the new Apple Pager, which is also due to hit...
Tips: How to Treat a Pager That Keeps Going Off Like It Has Seizures
Sadly, despite all the technological advances we've made, a good portion of health care professionals still carry an object as archaic and arguably less...