Surgery

discharge summary

ICU Transfer Arrives with Hospital Summary on a Napkin

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - An 83-year-old man was transferred to the University Hospital Critical Care Unit from an outside hospital on Tuesday, with a...

Michael Phelps Has a Few Too Many Cupping Marks Near Genitals

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Although Michael Phelps has already drawn attention to the healing technique known as cupping with multiple circular bruises spotted...

Five-Second Rule Validated in the Operating Room

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CHICAGO, IL - In a paradigm shift for the operating room, a new study has found that reusing instruments dropped on the operating room...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Anesthesiologist Blames Surgery for Patient’s Difficult Airway

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BILOXI, MS - In what is believed to be the first time anywhere, local anesthesiologist Arick Lunchbocks blamed general surgeon Bessie Jandle for the...
sprained ankle

The Difference Between RICE & Rice

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Today, we distinguish between another two often-confused entities: RICE and rice. RICE is an acronym that stands for Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation.  RICE is...

Surgeons Remove Penis, Sex Toy Saved

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NEW YORK, NY - Surgeons at University Hospital of Manhattan have performed a remarkable surgery on an unnamed male patient who presented to the Emergency Department...

TSA Discovers Testicular Cancer on Local Man

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NEWARK, NJ – At the Newark Liberty Airport TSA agent Dennis Brown discovered a lump on a local man’s testicle. “I was just doing my...

Urologists: ‘Balls on Back of Trucks Correlates with Tiny Driver Testicle Size’

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LEXINGTON, OH - Plastic balls in a plastic scrotum hanging off the back of a pickup truck have been an extremely-common sight in and...
sponge bath

New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”

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CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside...
colonoscopy

Countdown of the Top 10 Things Found in the Rectum

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In a style similar to family feud, we surveyed people who like to shove things in places, and also the surgeons who need to...