So You’re Paged While in a Bouncy House, What to Do Next
There you are, jumping around happily in a bouncy house when the unthinkable happens: you get paged. Well, maybe not unthinkable since you are...
Medical Student Discovers Niche in Surgery as Edward Retractor Hands
MADISON, WI - "That’s not my real name, but it works," stated Jimmy M. Smith, a third-year medical student from UW Madison Medical School. The...
“Hospital Sounds” Debuts at #1 on Billboard Music Charts
NEW YORK, NY - The music industry was stunned this week to find out that Hospital Sounds: The Sounds of the Hospital, an album...
Surgeon Struggles to Carve Turkey at Thanksgiving
DES MOINES, IA - Thanksgiving has finally arrived and is in full swing across the country. Millions of dysfunctional families get together for a celebration...
Ortho Consulted to Repair Broken Wishbone
NASHVILLE, TN - Orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley was consulted last night after the wishbone of an 18-lb. turkey was shattered by two members of the...
Breaking: Grand Rounds Not Particularly Grand Today
LOS ANGELES, CA - Earlier this morning vascular surgeon Dr. Emma Wexler gave Grand Rounds to her fellow colleagues at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Unfortunately...
Sharapova Returns with Shriek So Strong Her Own Ear Bleeds
FLUSHING, NY - In the fourth game of the third set, Sharapova unleashed a powerful forehand winner with a shriek so piercing it caused...
Neck Fusion Gone Awry: Carried Away, Neurosurgeon Fuses All 206 Bones
NASHVILLE, TN - Admitting enthusiasm got the best of her, Vanderbilt neurosurgeon Dr. Elle Hardwire got carried away with an anterior cervical discectomy and...
Rare Patient Asks Only for Tylenol for Pain, Receives Standing Ovation
ATLANTA, GA - Chelsea Mason is one amazing woman. Only 12 hours removed from a knee replacement surgery for severe osteoarthritis, Mason has left...
Pathology Duty Pager Goes Off Overnight
SAN DIEGO, CA - In a rare, unexpected occurrence, the pathology duty pager went off at 11 p.m. last night, disturbing the quiet slumber of...