Surgery

Anesthesiologist in Flap Room Refutes Reports of Peegasms, Calls for Multicenter Prospective Trial

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Dr. I. Kaffeinate is prominent Canadian anesthesiologist who is raising doubts about a recently reported article1 in which urologists were warning women of a...

Breaking: Medical Student Cuts Surgical Knot Too Short

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Medical student Dan Richards was disciplined Thursday for cutting a surgical knot "too short" during a skin closure. "The surgeon told me...
traffic jam outside of operating room

Traffic Report: Pile-Up In Front of OR 21

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HOUSTON, TX - At approximately 5:13 PM today there was a multiple-bed collision in front of OR 21 causing a delay in all outbound...

Scrub Tech Has Friend Visit Apartment: ‘Don’t Touch Anything’

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ATLANTA, GA – Local surgical technologist, Janelle Paulson, had to make an unexpected stop at home after work, cited co-worker Katie Peters.  “We don’t...
new medical interns

Hospital Eliminates July from Calendar, Decreases Mortality 3,000%

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BOSTON, MA - Hospital administrators nationwide are hailing a successful new effort described as “downright brilliant” to help curb hospital mortality by eliminating July from...
urine foley catheter

After Super Bowl, Health Care Practitioners Ready to Diurese the Sh*t Out of Everyone

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - With the completion of Super Bowl XLIX so too ends the weekend of Super Bowl parties, celebrations, and unhealthy eating.  It...
intern thumb sucking

July Interns Play Crucial Role During Cardiac Arrest by Whimpering, Sucking Own Thumb

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ROCKFORD, IL - Fresh-faced July intern Becky Anderson proved to be the most crucial health care provider present during a cardiopulmonary arrest called at...

Dr. Clinton Gets Away with Wearing Pantsuit in OR

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - A shocking story coming from Bethesda Medical Center, where Hillary Clinton has been wearing a pantsuit in the operating room.  She refuses...

General Surgeon Addicted to Thrill of Craigslist Bargaining

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BOISE, ID - Many physicians complain about burnout and lack of inspiration during routine procedures but one doctor has found his own solution. “After...
confused surgeon

Surgeon Discovers He’s Not God, Chaos Ensues

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MOUNTAINDALE, OR - A general surgeon at Mountaindale Memorial was shocked to discover Tuesday night that he is not God, contrary to prior belief. Dr....