Surgery

female doctor

Resident is “Finally Free” as She is Sentenced to Jail

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DALLAS, TX - Olga J. Sampson, a second-year surgical resident, is finally free.  She was sentenced yesterday to three months of jail time following her...
cucumber water

ENT Physician Who Rebranded Ear Washes As “Cucumber Water Ear Lavages” Now A Billionaire

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BOCA RATON, FLORIDA -- Millennial hipsters have been rushing to their spas to experience a "cucumber water ear lavage" which is pretty much the...

Surgical Resident Delivers Mid-Case, Stays to Close

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MASS. GENERAL HOSPITAL - Dr. Hannah Richards, a 3rd year surgical resident, was 39+0 weeks pregnant going into Thursday.  She scrubbed into Dr. Alexander's hemicolectomy...
registered nurses

Memes, Memes, and More Medical Memes

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Researchers Discover Length of “A While”

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ST. LOUIS, MO -  It turns out, when a patient’s symptoms have been present for “a while,” they began about 4.2 months ago. So say researchers...
pooh

Winnie Can’t Pooh, Needs Surgical Intervention

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SUSSEX, ENGLAND - In breaking news, Winnie the Pooh can't pooh and is in fact obstructed, necessitating surgical intervention.  "Oh, D-D-Dear!" cried Piglet.  "I...

Mass General to Offer New Residency in Retractor Holding

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BOSTON, MA - The board of directors of Massachusetts General Hospital announced Monday that the prestigious center plans to offer residency training in the theory and...
orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics

Three-Sentence Discharge Summary For Six-Month Hospitalization

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ROME, GA - Doctors and hospital administrators are lauding what has been called a "breakthrough in succinctness," as a patient discharged after six months in...
frog, tadpole

Man with Frog in Throat Also Has Tadpoles in Scrotum

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HICKORY, NC - Jerry Thompson has been dealing with a hoarse voice over the past week, something not uncommon as temperatures cool with the...