Which Surgical Specialty Should You Choose?
It’s that time of year: residency application season! You’ve decided that performing procedures, malignant personalities, and years of grueling training are for you but...
Thousands Dead in Battle Between Ophthalmologists and Optometrists
WASHINGTON, DC - Thousands of eye care providers were found dead in the streets Monday morning after a vicious battle erupted between ophthalmologists and...
Lazy Eye Not Even Trying to See
TALLAHASSEE, FL – In an embarrassing show of pure slothfulness, the right eye of 28-year-old Christopher Chang has become so lazy that it won’t...
SHITSTORM Red Flag Phrases During Patient Turnover
DJIBOUTI, DJIBOUTI - The 5th annual Seminar of Hospital Internists Technologists Surgeons Traumatologists Others RNs and More (SHITSTORM) convention resulted in the drafting of...
Mandatory Hospital Staff Meeting to Improve Morale Fails to Improve Morale
COLUMBIA, SC - ED Staff at Our Lady of Gluten Intolerance Hospital (OLGIH) finished yet another required but uncompensated hospital staff meeting last week...
Surgeon a Bit More Cavalier Now That ‘They’ve Cured Hep C’
MOUNT SINAI, NY - No one was more excited about the release of Harvoni, a potentially curative medication for the hepatitis C virus, than Dr....
American College of Surgeons to Publish New “Because I Said So” or BISS-Based Medicine...
WASHINGTON, DC - A press release today from the American College of Surgeons stated, “After years of putting up with the satanic nonsense known...
Updated 2015 ACLS Algorithm
ACLS KEY BELOW:
* Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays
** Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR
*** Product Review:...
Code Team Performs Ill-Timed Mannequin Challenge During CPR
JACKSONVILLE, FL - A code team at Jacksonville Medical Center (JMC) is under investigation after an ill-timed Mannequin Challenge during a cardiac arrest went...
Breaking: Polar Vortex Blamed on Subzero OR Temperatures
SILVER SPRING, MD - Begging surgeons to keep operating room doors closed as much as possible, the National Weather Service (NWS) has cited the...