Surgeons Declare “Surgery Not Indicated in 2017”
CHICAGO, IL - Close the operating rooms! Surgeons worldwide have declared that "surgery is not indicated in 2017," instead calling this upcoming year "the...
Orthopod Bewildered by Internist with Bigger Biceps
LOS ANGELES, CA - "How can it be??!!" wondered orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley, scratching his noggin with his oversized mitts. "Thor don't understand!" You...
Podiatrists Admit They’re Not Really Examining Patients, Just Tickling Them
TOEJAM LAKE, CA - At the 23rd annual National Podiatric Conference on Bunions, the board of directors voted 5-4 to admit what the public...
How to Put on a Contact Isolation Gown
If you've never done it before, putting on a contact isolation gown can be quite tricky. It might be easier to put on a...
Countdown of the Top 10 Things Found in the Rectum
In a style similar to family feud, we surveyed people who like to shove things in places, and also the surgeons who need to...
Surgeon Takes Clinic Patient Home to Avoid 30-Day Readmission
BOSTON, MA - Dr. Johnny NoSleep, a local vascular surgeon, was sailing his way through his Friday afternoon post-op clinic until he was derailed...
General Surgeon Moves Clinic to Operating Room, Cites Excessive Patient Consciousness
CEDAR RAPIDS, IA – Jacob Townsend, a 53-year-old general surgeon, has decided to permanently move his clinic to the operating room due to ongoing...
Obama Says Sweeping Changes Will Eliminate Doctor Shortage
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Speaking at a live press conference from the Rose Garden today, President Obama announced major changes to health care, that he...
Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50
ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
Too Much Pressure: Masseuse Breaks All 206 Bones in Client’s Body
OKLAHOMA CITY, OK - Despite the request to use only light-to-medium pressure during a one hour deep tissue massage, masseuse Lindsey Wang has gone overboard...