Surgery

PyeongChang Tragedy: Team USA Curler Blows Out Both ACLs, MCLs, Hips, Spleen

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PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA - Curling is not for the faint of heart.  In the adrenaline rush of hurling his rock down the ice, Team...
new fda pill

FDA Approves First Antibiotic/Male Impotence Drug: Mycoxaflopin

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Federal Drug Administration has recently approved the first medication that will combat both bacterial infections and male impotence.  Mycoxaflopin, a...
wishbone

Ortho Consulted to Repair Broken Wishbone

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NASHVILLE, TN - Orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley was consulted last night after the wishbone of an 18-lb. turkey was shattered by two members of the...
ophthalmologist

Ophthalmologist Accidentally Agrees to See Inpatient Consult

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Richard Thompson, a local ophthalmologist, was appalled to discover that he had accidentally agreed to see a patient currently admitted to local Mercy Hospital...
disposable colonoscope

Product Review: Melch Allyn’s Disposable Colonoscopes

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Pros / You don't have to worry about those hard-to-remove stains like on reusable colonoscopes because the Melch Allyn Disposable Colonoscope can be thrown...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...
nosebleeds epistaxis

Rangers Fan with Seats in Nosebleeds Exsanguinates from Epistaxis

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NEW YORK, NY - Gomerblog is sad to report that 68-year-old lifelong Rangers fan, Michael Richter, unfortunately passed away midway through the third period of...
bladder trial voiding

Breaking: Urinary Bladder Placed on Trial for Voiding

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ATLANTA, GA - "This voiding trial has begun!" Judge Emerson Rhodes III told a full-capacity, overly-distended courtroom in downtown Atlanta as he called order...
femur stethoscope

Orthopod Caught Listening to Femur with Stethoscope

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ATLANTA, GA - In an awkward moment at a patient's bedside earlier today, orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley was caught doing what can only be...

Wellness Lecture Scheduled on Christmas Morning

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NEW YORK, NY - In a dramatic move that is sure to send shock waves through the medical community, an elite Surgical Residency program...