Jealous of Surgeons’ Da Vinci, Anesthesia Demands Robot of Their Own
KEARNEY, NE - Growing increasingly dissatisfied with the benefits of a automaton and robotics enjoyed by their colleagues on the other side of the...
Committee Investigates Surgeon Whose Shoes Are Always Untied
BEND, OR - The credentials review committee at Our Lady of Hope Medical Center has started investigative proceedings against general surgeon Dr. David Wymer. Wymer...
Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...
Lazy Eye Not Even Trying to See
TALLAHASSEE, FL – In an embarrassing show of pure slothfulness, the right eye of 28-year-old Christopher Chang has become so lazy that it won’t...
45-Year-Old EM Physician Reflects Back Upon 4.0 GPA in College While Manually Disimpacting Patient
PENDELTON, IN - Departmental Emergency Medicine Chief Dr. Glenn Henderson was seen staring off into space daydreaming on Monday morning, while digitally disimpacting a 90-year-old nursing home...
Hospital’s ‘Take Your Daughter to Work’ Day Not Such a Good Idea
ST. LOUIS, MO - Hepatobiliary surgeon Dr. Jeanne Devereux was disappointed. "How hard could it be?!" she fumed. "Just hold the damn retractor and...
Hospitalist Consults PT to Assess Unsteady Gate
VININGS, GA - Concerned that it is now high risk and a fall is imminent, hospitalist Martin Halvorson has asked if physical therapy (PT)...
Anesthesiologist Swallows Pride, Develops Small Bowel Obstruction
TUCSON, AZ – According to local witnesses, Mercy Hospital anesthesiologist Henry Stutzman developed a complete small bowel obstruction hours after swallowing his pride in operating...
Master Radiologist Able to Hedge on Every Possible Medical Condition
BOSTON, MA – According to the abdominal CT scan report internist Dr. Sam Erikson just pulled up, master radiologist Dr. Bart Waddell has once again...
‘I’ve Never Met a Pupil That Wasn’t ERRLA’ by Emergency Physician Paul O’Connor
I’ve been doing this job for almost 30 years, and let me tell you, never in my professional career have I ever met a...