Psychiatric Trauma Code Successfully Implemented
ALAMEDA COUNTY MEDICAL CENTER - Following the model set by their colleagues in Trauma Surgery and Emergency Medicine, the Psychiatry Department has implemented a new...
Optometrist, Ophthalmologist to Duke it Out at Flagpole at 3 PM Tomorrow
CHICAGO, IL - With many in health care wondering if this is the apotheosis between two long-time warring factions, optometrist Rick Fovea and ophthalmologist...
ENT Cannot Bear to Watch as Man Picking Nose Tempts Fate
ATLANTA, GA - Sure, otolaryngologist Eric Osawa was trying to enjoy his day off today, but has now found himself at a coffee shop looking...
Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies
ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency." They are coming off of...
Curare Darts Phased Out Despite Drug Shortages
MACON, GA - Like many medical centers, St. Joseph the Protector Hospital is experiencing severe drug shortages, especially in the operating room. The latest unobtainable...
Lyrics to the Men’s Health Christmas Carol Favorite: “Check Your Balls”
It is the Season of Giving. Don’t put your d*ck in a box to spread that Christmas cheer; instead, consider performing a testicular self-exam....
Federal Aviation Administration’s Checklist-Oriented Outpatient Surgery Center Closes After Every Patient Dies
WASHINGTON, DC - In what many practicing clinicians have called “not at all surprising” and “what dimwit funded this incredibly stupid idea?” the FAA has...
Surgeon Caught Screaming at Nobody, Claims “Practice”
BOISE, ID - In a bizarre incident last Thursday, Dr. Nikki Ivanovich, a general surgeon at St. Luke’s Hospital was caught by staff screaming...
Skilled Phlebotomist Draws Blood from Aorta
NASHVILLE, TN - Warned ahead of time that the patient was a notoriously difficult stick, madly-skilled phlebotomist Mattie Stevenson pulled off a neat little...
Orthopod Writes a Longer Note Than Hospitalist: Metaphysical Calamity Ensues
KEARNEY, NE - Fatefully cleaving the time line in two, an orthopedic surgeon at Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) wrote a progress note longer than...