Surgery

Rosetta Stone Unlocks Mystery of Ophtho Notes

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LONDON, ENGLAND - In breaking news, archeologists have uncovered a missing piece to the Rosetta Stone, the ancient stone slab on which the Memphis decree...

Intern Asks Nurse for Multiple Choices Before Making Decision

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On his first week as a surgery intern, Dane Colbert began what is sure to be a storied career in medicine by asking the nurse...
emergency room

Breaking News: Ah Crap, You-Know-Who is Back in the ER

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YOUR HOSPITAL, YOUR CITY, YOUR STATE - Ah, crap.  GomerBlog is sad to report… GomerBlog really doesn’t want to tell you this.  But we feel...
new fda pill

FDA Approves First Antibiotic/Male Impotence Drug: Mycoxaflopin

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Federal Drug Administration has recently approved the first medication that will combat both bacterial infections and male impotence.  Mycoxaflopin, a...
blood

Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit

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DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%.  Bowers...
iv fluid

Voluven to Make Comeback as an Axillary Roll

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NEWCASTLE, AUSTRALIA - The end seemed nigh for Voluven.  The volume expander has been on the ropes after large clinical trials demonstrated increased risks...

American Board of General Surgery to Add Section on Barbering

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The governing body of General Surgery has announced in a press release that "barbering" would be added as a requirement for certification.  This in...
Tom Brady Super Bowl LII amputate hand

Sportsmanship FTW! Eagles’ Doc Offers to Amputate Brady’s Injured Hand Before Super Bowl LII

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - In a true show of sportsmanship towards the New England Patriots ahead of their February 4 date at Super Bowl LII...
Hilton Hospital

New Burger King and Hilton Hospital to Open

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CHICAGO, IL - Burger King and Hilton have merged together and plan to finish construction shortly on a new state of the art hotel,...
garden gnome

Study: 90% Of Rectal Foreign Bodies Are Idiopathic

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - A recent retrospective review of Birmingham, Alabama confirms that 90% of rectal foreign bodies are idiopathic.  Colorectal surgeon Joshua P Dengle...