Da Vinci Named TIME Magazine Robot of the Year
For the 10th consecutive year, Da Vinci, the surgery-performing automaton extraordinaire has won TIME magazine’s coveted Robot of the Year award. Many people in...
General Medicine Floor Smells a Little Less like Death Today
TUCSON, AZ - Employees of the general medicine floor at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital arrived to work on Monday morning to a unit that smelled...
Psychic Hired to Read Patients’ Minds, Doctor Visit Time Reduced
BATON ROUGE, LA -- Do you think doctors ask weird questions—like “Do you have any problems with your kidneys?” Or ones that are hard...
Revised ASA Classification Tells You When to Lawyer Up
An expert panel comprised of ambulance chasing, blood sucking lawyers and that one snotty dude from med school published a revised ASA physical status...
‘Drama Surgery’ Officially Listed as New Specialty by ACGME
This fall, fourth-year medical students everywhere are able to apply to a ‘woke’ new specialty: Drama Surgery.
“Due to the increasing number of millennials interested...
Laparoscopic Training Box Septic After Practice Session with Interns
An inanimate training apparatus, made up of a plastic box with holes to place a laparoscopic camera and graspers, is in critical condition after...
Book of Delivery Menus Missing, 20 Night Nurses & Doctors Die of Hunger
AUGUSTA, GA - Medical personnel, patients, and families at Augusta Medical Center (AMC) are in mourning this morning as 20 night nurses and physicians...
Orthopod Appalled to Learn About Calcium Channel Blockers
GREEN BAY, WI - Local Orthopaedic surgeon Stan Deverance was at a hospital wide grand rounds last week when he uncovered a nearly unspeakable...
Orthopaedic Surgeon Spends Hours Wandering ICU Bathroom Looking for Pulmonary Toilet
NEW YORK, NY - When COVID-19 cases in Manhattan started ramping up, local orthopaedic surgeon Brock Hammersley knew he wanted to help however he...
The Epic EHR Bartender
Patron: I’d like a beer.
Epic: Wait until I log on… (30 seconds) Welcome to Hyperspace!
Patron: I’d like a beer.
Epic: Pick from this list.
Patron: Hmm…...