Surgery

fart, CNN, Anderson Cooper

Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50

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ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
head ct

3D Head CT: The New Ultimate Selfie

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Smile, smirk, or blow a kiss.  Selfies have been taken to a whole new level with the commercial availability of head CT scans by...
ophthalmologist

Ophthalmologist Accidentally Agrees to See Inpatient Consult

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Richard Thompson, a local ophthalmologist, was appalled to discover that he had accidentally agreed to see a patient currently admitted to local Mercy Hospital...

Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In

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CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver....
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: The Adjective of Pus is ‘Purulent,’ Not ‘P**sy’

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an important reminder to healthcare providers today, reminding them once and...

Curare Darts Phased Out Despite Drug Shortages

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MACON, GA - Like many medical centers, St. Joseph the Protector Hospital is experiencing severe drug shortages, especially in the operating room.  The latest unobtainable...
chemist

Brilliant Chemist Gives up Dream of Curing Cancer, Focuses Efforts on Inducing 3 ½...

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CAMBRIDGE, MA - Citing practical reasons, 41-year-old renowned chemist and laboratory researcher Charles Kenzington, Ph.D. has formally ended his three-decade quest to discover a...
angry man

Tips: How to Manage Your Pent-Up, Work-Related Rage

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Many jobs, in particular ones involving working at the hospital, have a certain way of… how do you say… taking you there.  One of the...
eye exam

Physical Exam Tips: The Eye

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Contrary to popular opinion, the eye exam can be performed by other health care providers too, not just ophthalmologists.  Also contrary to popular opinion,...
vasectomy alternative

The Vas-Band: Vasectomies No More

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REIMS, FRANCE - French urologist, Dr. Jacques LeStrappe, presented his newest innovation at the recent International Society of Urologists in Geneva, Switzerland that will...