Surgery

Physical therapy hyperacute rehab

PT and OT File for Divorce

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PITTSBURGH, PA - In news that is making banner headlines in society pages nationwide and has left medical high society shocked and incredulous, Physical...

Breaking: 1 in 500 Can’t Smell What The Rock is Cooking

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HAYWARD, CA - The Rock says it all the time: "Can YA SMELL-LALALALALALALLALALA-OWWWWWW what The Rock…. is cooking?!"  But can everyone smell what The...
pathology

Pathology Duty Pager Goes Off Overnight

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SAN DIEGO, CA - In a rare, unexpected occurrence, the pathology duty pager went off at 11 p.m. last night, disturbing the quiet slumber of...
emotional scar collagen

Pathologists Find Emotional Scars Also Made of Collagen

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CHICAGO, IL - A fascinating new report from the American Society for Clinical Pathology (ASCP) explains emotional scars are actually made up of the...

Unprepared Patient Cramming for Tomorrow’s Rectal Exam

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AUBURN, AL - Forever the procrastinator, nervous and unprepared patient Johnny Sanders has started cramming for tomorrow's rectal exam in the hopes he can...
angry man

Tips: How to Manage Your Pent-Up, Work-Related Rage

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Many jobs, in particular ones involving working at the hospital, have a certain way of… how do you say… taking you there.  One of the...
vp shunt

Stephen Hawking Develops VP Shunt Law

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UNIVERSITY OF CAMBRIDGE, ENGLAND - Brilliant theoretical physicist and cosmologist Stephen Hawking has stunned the scientific community once again. After years of researching the...

Anesthesiologists Now Required by Law to Scratch Itching Surgeons During Operations

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BOCA RATON, FL - The longstanding practice of anesthesiologists having to scratch surgeons in the operating room has now become codified into law.  Effective next...

Surgeon in Corner Running the Da Vinci is Actually Just Playing Video Games

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COLUMBUS, OH - A revelation concerning the function of the da Vinci robot console recently came to light when a circulating nurse discovered its...

ICU Team Excited to Untangle Lines After Patient Dropped Off from OR

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SAN JOSE, CA - The intensive care unit (ICU) at Holy Cross Hospital is ecstatic to receive an upcoming patient from the operating room who...