BREAKING: Ortho resident performs first uterine open reduction internal fixation
PHILADELPHIA, PA: Orthopedic surgery resident Rob Abington was recently recognized by the American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons for performing the first open reduction with...
Da Vinci Robots to be Deployed for Snow Shoveling
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Ever get cold shoveling? Or exhausted? Maybe it is time to try the daVinci robot shovel. This fantastic extension for the...
Surgeons Remove Penis, Sex Toy Saved
NEW YORK, NY - Surgeons at University Hospital of Manhattan have performed a remarkable surgery on an unnamed male patient who presented to the Emergency Department...
U.S. Women’s Relay Team Elects to Use Femur, Not Baton for Handoffs
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - For this week's upcoming track and field event, the USA Track & Field Women's 4x100m Team has announced that it has...
This Day in Medical History: Patient Bled to Death When Only a 3 x...
THIS DAY IN MEDICAL HISTORY, 1917 - Patient Joseph Hails suffered from a wound that was exactly 4 inches by 4 inches. His injury wasn’t unique,...
Anesthesiologist Swallows Pride, Develops Small Bowel Obstruction
TUCSON, AZ – According to local witnesses, Mercy Hospital anesthesiologist Henry Stutzman developed a complete small bowel obstruction hours after swallowing his pride in operating...
Inside Peak at Star Wars: A New Scope
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Gomerblog has got its hands on a leaked screenshot from the latest upcoming Star Wars standalone film. Though little is known...
Ophtho Emergently Consulted to Reattach Mr. Potato Head’s Eyes
BROOKLYN, NY - Emergency room physicians at Maimonides Medical Center did not waste any time consulting ophthalmology to restore the vision of Mr. Potato...
Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...
Rosetta Stone Unlocks Mystery of Ophtho Notes
LONDON, ENGLAND - In breaking news, archeologists have uncovered a missing piece to the Rosetta Stone, the ancient stone slab on which the Memphis decree...