Surgeon in Corner Running the Da Vinci is Actually Just Playing Video Games
COLUMBUS, OH - A revelation concerning the function of the da Vinci robot console recently came to light when a circulating nurse discovered its...
NURSE SUSPENDED FOR WRITING NOTES IN CAPS LOCK
NORFOLK, VA - NURSE AMANDA HAN WAS SUSPENDED EARLY THIS MORNING BY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION FOR THE SAME OFFENSE YET AGAIN: ALWAYS WRITING HER NOTES...
Poor Colonoscopy Bowel Prep Blamed on Doctor
BOUTTE, LA - Bobby Boudreaux's colonoscopy had to be aborted this morning due to a poor bowel prep, making it impossible to safely perform...
Area Hospital to Implement New Health Record Using Post-it Notes
AREA, GA - Despite a flurry of activity in healthcare systems across America to implement efficient electronic health records (EHRs) or even more efficient...
Doctor Has Pseudoseizure to Avoid Patient with Pseudoseizures
TAMPA BAY, FL - Zelda Wilkins credits her “high pain tolerance” as the only way she can handle her affliction with pseudoseizures. Despite frequenting...
‘Drama Surgery’ Officially Listed as New Specialty by ACGME
This fall, fourth-year medical students everywhere are able to apply to a ‘woke’ new specialty: Drama Surgery.
“Due to the increasing number of millennials interested...
Neurosurgeon Replaced by 4th Year Medical Student due to Massive Number of Research Publications
An attending neurosurgeon in central Ohio was replaced by a fourth-year medical student due to research production. MS4 End O’Scopit was interviewing for a...
Woodstock Veteran Disappointed to Learn New Joint Made of Titanium and Plastic
BERKELEY, CA - Bill “Doobie” Bogarter fondly refers to Woodstock as the “best two weeks I can’t remember.” He was the first faculty at...
Anesthesiologists Cannot Find Reason to Cancel Case Right Before Shift Change
SPOKANE, WA – In a stunning development, believed to be the first of its kind here at Southern Spokane University Hospital, a patient is...
Wellness Lecture Scheduled on Christmas Morning
NEW YORK, NY - In a dramatic move that is sure to send shock waves through the medical community, an elite Surgical Residency program...