Surgery

Anesthesiologists Now Required by Law to Scratch Itching Surgeons During Operations

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BOCA RATON, FL - The longstanding practice of anesthesiologists having to scratch surgeons in the operating room has now become codified into law.  Effective next...
butthurt anal resection

Breaking: Anal Resection Now First-Line Treatment for Butthurt

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CHICAGO, IL - In response to an exponential increase in cases of butthurt over the past several years, the American College of Surgeons (ACS)...
anesthesia

Anesthetists Go on Strike, Local Hospital Thrown into Turmoil

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BOSTON, MA - Chaos ensued in a local hospital early yesterday morning when the whole Anesthesiology department went on a "no-show strike." "We were prepping...
bicarb-only sodium bicarbonate

ICU Team Figures Out What Their Code Needs: More Bicarb!

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - The ICU team at New Orleans Medical Center (NOMC) made history today by becoming the first medical team ever to implement a bicarb-only...
end of life care

ZDoggMD: “Ain’t the Way to Die”

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End of life care.  We need to talk about it more... From ZDoggMD: "Need help breaking the ice?  Here’s Ain’t The Way To Die, based on the...
INR 0 ENT

ENT Changes Focus to Elbows, Nipples & Testicles

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ALEXANDRIA, VA - Saying 2020 is finally going to be the year where they really change things up, the nation's ENTs will be fully...
joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
medical pager

Top 10 Signs It’s Time to Break Up with Your Pager

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You and your pager have likely formed a long and memorable relationship together while sitting on your hip.  Over time the initial lust may...
Brie Hammersley complete blood loss

Op Note: ‘Successful Despite Complete Blood Loss’

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - With the exception of complete and total blood loss, today's routine total left hip arthroplasty was a resounding success devoid of...