Neck Fusion Gone Awry: Carried Away, Neurosurgeon Fuses All 206 Bones
NASHVILLE, TN - Admitting enthusiasm got the best of her, Vanderbilt neurosurgeon Dr. Elle Hardwire got carried away with an anterior cervical discectomy and...
Yiddish to Be Introduced Into Official Medical Terminology
PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Language Council of Hospitals and Institutions of Medicine (LCHAIM) announced yesterday that a number of commonly used Yiddish terms have...
The Difference Between Arthropods & Orthopods
Today, we help describe the similarities and differences between two interesting creatures: arthropods and orthopods. Let’s begin!
An arthropod is an invertebrate animal with an...
Santa Claus Aspirates Milk, Cookies after Ignoring NPO Guidelines
NORTH POLE, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SIBERIA & ALASKA - Christmas has been canceled as Santa Claus fights for his life in the ICU. Thankfully he...
Surgeon a Bit More Cavalier Now That ‘They’ve Cured Hep C’
MOUNT SINAI, NY - No one was more excited about the release of Harvoni, a potentially curative medication for the hepatitis C virus, than Dr....
New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”
CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside...
Medical Ethics: Magician Orthopedist Elects Not to Saw Patient in Half Due to Conflict...
LAS VEGAS, NV - In an apparent conflict of interest, orthopedist and amateur magician, Dr. Felipe Ross, elected not to saw his patient in...
Trojan Develops New Magnum Size Foley Catheters; ‘It’s About Time,’ Say 100% of Surveyed...
HOUSTON, TX - America’s number one trusted brand for contraception made a bold leap into the medical field today with the launch of Foley...
Breaking: Surgeon Asks Anesthesia to Lower His Tray Table
DELTA 291 - Citing numerous reasons why he couldn't perform the maneuver by himself, passenger and general surgeon Richard Patton has asked Anesthesia to lower his tray table...
Rosetta Stone Unlocks Mystery of Ophtho Notes
LONDON, ENGLAND - In breaking news, archeologists have uncovered a missing piece to the Rosetta Stone, the ancient stone slab on which the Memphis decree...