Surgery

atv craniotomy

NC Hospital Offers Discounted Craniotomy with ATV Purchase

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WINSTON-SALEM, NC - With hunting season fast approaching, a North Carolina hospital has made a controversial move: they have partnered with an ATV dealership...
wheelchair

Surgeon Takes Clinic Patient Home to Avoid 30-Day Readmission

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BOSTON, MA - Dr. Johnny NoSleep, a local vascular surgeon, was sailing his way through his Friday afternoon post-op clinic until he was derailed...
finall four medical

Road to the Final Four Best Lifestyle Medical Specialties

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INDIANA - After another exciting and grueling March Madness Hospital Edition, with some upsets and bracket busters, the Final Four Medical Specialties with the...

PyeongChang Tragedy: Team USA Curler Blows Out Both ACLs, MCLs, Hips, Spleen

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PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA - Curling is not for the faint of heart.  In the adrenaline rush of hurling his rock down the ice, Team...
Brie Hammersley complete blood loss

Op Note: ‘Successful Despite Complete Blood Loss’

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - With the exception of complete and total blood loss, today's routine total left hip arthroplasty was a resounding success devoid of...

Nation’s Arteries Brace for Impact of Chipotle’s New Queso

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SACRAMENTO, CA – Speaking at a press conference last Saturday, a local left renal artery expressed “grave concern” amongst itself and the billions of...
surgeon shoes

Patient Alarmed After Noticing Surgeon’s Shoelace Untied

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MARIETTA, GA - Multiple sources are confirming that local patient Harry Dander is growing increasingly concerned for his upcoming surgery after noticing that his...
champagne tap cava

The Difference Between Vena Cava & Spanish Cava

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Cava is a Spanish wine originating from Catalonia.  Vena cava is either of two larges vein carrying deoxygenated blood, not Spanish wine, back into...
surgeon washing hands

General Surgeon Goes Entire Year Without Washing Hands

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Dr. Ima Nass, a general surgeon from Illinois, was recently demoted for going an entire calendar year without washing his hands in the hospital. ...
potato peeler

Op Note Reveals Surgery Performed Using Kitchen Utensils

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Surgeons, internists, and health care practitioners alike are stunned by a recent operative or op note left by podiatrist Tony...