Orthopedic Surgeon Floods OR During Shoulder Arthroscopy

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OMAHA, NE - Officials from Hamton Hospital may have to implement new policies after an orthopedic surgeon inadvertently flooded out the operating room during...
dermabond surgical glue

Dermabond Repackages for a Sexier Product

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Dermabond, a skin glue widely used for surgical skin closure, has had a recent falloff in use as hospitals push cost-conscious practices.  In response,...

Breaking: 1 in 500 Can’t Smell What The Rock is Cooking

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HAYWARD, CA - The Rock says it all the time: "Can YA SMELL-LALALALALALALLALALA-OWWWWWW what The Rock…. is cooking?!"  But can everyone smell what The...
politicians

Numerous Elected Officials Suffering From Bizarre Triad of Abdominal Jaundice, Gelatinous Vertebrae, & Microorchidism‏

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WASHINGTON, DC - Capitol doctors, thanks to information-sharing initiatives promoted by the Affordable Care Act, have uncovered what they describe as a “devastating” illness...

Med Student Wows Surgeon with Suction Technique

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DENVER, CO – Medical student James Taverny turned heads in the OR when he made history with perfect suction technique during an open cholecystectomy...
rods and cones

Retina Specialist to Further Subspecialize and Focus on Cones

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NEW YORK, NY - Realizing that the ophthalmologic world of retina is still way too vast with its ten layers, retina specialist Jacob Vitreous has...
orthopedic surgeon ortho spelling bee WBAT sticks & stones

BREAKING: Ortho resident performs first uterine open reduction internal fixation

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PHILADELPHIA, PA: Orthopedic surgery resident Rob Abington was recently recognized by the American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons for performing the first open reduction with...
new fda pill

FDA Approves First Antibiotic/Male Impotence Drug: Mycoxaflopin

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Federal Drug Administration has recently approved the first medication that will combat both bacterial infections and male impotence.  Mycoxaflopin, a...

Medical Records Censor Crucial at Removing Admission and Discharge Summaries for Transfer

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MUDVILLE, TN - Jimmy Blake, MBA, MHA, Good Samaritan’s Vice President for Administrative Affairs, speaking on condition of having his full name printed at...
hedge, hedging

Radiologist Admits He Loves Hedges

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ATLANTA, GA - Area radiologist Michael Feuerstein admits that he loves hedges beyond comprehension.  "I love my wife, I love my kids, and I...