Orthopedic Surgeon General Declares Today “National Bone Day”
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Orthopedic Surgeon General of the United States Dr. Brock Hammersley has announced he will declare today a national holiday honoring all...
Lazy Eye Not Even Trying to See
TALLAHASSEE, FL – In an embarrassing show of pure slothfulness, the right eye of 28-year-old Christopher Chang has become so lazy that it won’t...
Anesthesiologist Puts Up Drape, Puppet Show for Surgeons
NORFOLK, VA - Anesthesiologist Thomas Kingston was the hit of the OR today. Normally after induction and intubation, Kingston puts up the drape to...
Medical Student Wins Golden Globe for Laparoscopic Cinematography in ‘Emergent Lap Chole’
BROOKLYN, NY – Third-year medical student Praveen Chandiram has been awarded the first Golden Globe in Laparoscopic Cinematography for his work in an emergent...
Oral Surgeon Alerts Anesthesia to Low Blood Pressure
LOS ANGELES, CA - Yesterday, in a remarkable feat of interdisciplinary work, Mike Fellers, DDS alerted his anesthesia colleague to low blood pressures.
“It occurred right...
Particularly Rough Night on Inpatient Psych Ward Inspired Angry Turds Game Franchise
BENTONVILLE, AR - In a classic example of art imitating life, a disgruntled inpatient psychiatric nurse created the now famous Angry Turds franchise of...
Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use
COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever. The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that...
Mandatory Hospital Staff Meeting to Improve Morale Fails to Improve Morale
COLUMBIA, SC - ED Staff at Our Lady of Gluten Intolerance Hospital (OLGIH) finished yet another required but uncompensated hospital staff meeting last week...
DIY Appendectomy Kit Now Available
With surgeons’ schedules increasingly filled, a DIY appendectomy kit has been created to save both patients' and doctors' time.
“Appendectomies are really easy,” said general...
Urologists Recommend Against Buddy Taping for Penile Fractures
WIENER, AR - Last weekend local man Joseph Peyronie sustained a penile fracture in a tragic mishap involving a lawnmower, a tire swing, and...