Surgery

fart, CNN, Anderson Cooper

Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50

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ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
meatball sub appendix

Breaking: Surgeon Removes Perforated Appendix from Textbook

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NASHVILLE, TN - A general surgeon at Vanderbilt University, Dr. James Cavalier, has successfully removed an inflamed and perforated appendix from his copy of...
ultrasound

Surgeon Performs In-Utero Tommy John Surgery

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KANSAS CITY – A surgeon in Kansas City reports he has performed the world’s first in-utero Tommy John surgery. A hospital spokesperson states that the...
MRI scanner claustrophobia

New General Electric MRI Scanner 20 Times Louder Than Ever

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SCHENECTADY, NY - General Electric (GE) plans to revolutionize the course of magnetic resonance (MR) history once more when later this month they introduce...
camera crew for inspections

NFL Grants Seahawks’ Team Physician Access to Randomly Check Brady’s Balls

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NEW YORK, NY - NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced yesterday his plan to address the New England Patriots’ latest veiled attempt to bend league rules to...

Homeless da Vinci Robot Seen Begging for Spare Surgeries

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ATLANTA, GA - Sources close to GomerBlog report that a homeless da Vinci Robot was spotted on the northeast corner of West Peachtree &...

General Surgeon Addicted to Thrill of Craigslist Bargaining

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BOISE, ID - Many physicians complain about burnout and lack of inspiration during routine procedures but one doctor has found his own solution. “After...
ortho algorithm

American Board of Hospitalists Publishes Guidelines for Orthopaedic Imaging

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Hospitalists manage extremely complex disease processes that require intense critical thinking and deep analysis to properly diagnose and treat. Bones, however, are quite straightforward. If...
meatball sub appendix

Teamwork at its Finest: Surgeons Successfully Divide Meatball Sub in Three

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COOKEVILLE, TN - An a dazzling display of what can be achieved in an operating room when everyone brings their A game and is...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales

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ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10...