Local Jeweler Proposes with 4-Karat Kidney Stone Ring
COLUMBUS, OH - On a recent romantic trip to the yellow river in Asia, world-renowned jeweler Rocky Ureter of Columbus, Ohio popped the question to his longtime...
Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections. For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
Anesthesiologist Calls Code Blue in Operating Room For True Emergency
SAN DIEGO, CA - Today, a disastrous situation was narrowly averted at Gastric Bypass Takeback Hospital, when a code blue was announced to Operating...
CDC Recommends Not Tying Gown in Back to Promote Airflow Through Ass Crack
ATLANTA, GA - After a thorough review of the evidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) will make the formal recommendation that...
Updated 2015 ACLS Algorithm
ACLS KEY BELOW:
* Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays
** Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR
*** Product Review:...
Poor Colonoscopy Bowel Prep Blamed on Doctor
BOUTTE, LA - Bobby Boudreaux's colonoscopy had to be aborted this morning due to a poor bowel prep, making it impossible to safely perform...
Ortho Defeats Da Vinci in Good Ole Fashioned Arm-Wrestling Match
DURHAM, NC - An anticipated nail-biter that didn't end up going the distance, orthopedic surgeon Barrett Stonewall easily defeated the Da Vinci Surgical Robot...
New Surgical Jason Masks Loved by Nurses, Doctors
CRYSTAL LAKE - Nurses, doctors, and other health care practitioners across the nation have announced their overwhelming support for the newly-redesigned surgical masks or Jason...
FDA Approves 55-Hour ENERGY for Incoming July Interns
WASHINGTON, DC - In a major win for soon-to-be-exhausted incoming July interns at residency programs across the land, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has...
Trauma Patient with Isolated Stab Wound to Shoulder Can’t Understand Why His $300 Pants...
WASHINGTON, DC - A trauma patient at Washington Hospital Center became visibly upset in the trauma bay after his $300 pants were cut off with trauma...