Surgery

OR Case Canceled Due to No Remaining Time Outs

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The first case of the day at Saint Methodist Maplewood hospital was canceled due to no remaining time outs prior to incision. Circulator, Renee Count...
confused surgeon

Surgeon Discovers He’s Not God, Chaos Ensues

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MOUNTAINDALE, OR - A general surgeon at Mountaindale Memorial was shocked to discover Tuesday night that he is not God, contrary to prior belief. Dr....
lawyer up

Revised ASA Classification Tells You When to Lawyer Up

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  An expert panel comprised of ambulance chasing, blood sucking lawyers and that one snotty dude from med school published a revised ASA physical status...
va hospital

Local Veterans Affairs Hospital to Merge with DMV

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to improve efficiency and patient satisfaction, a local Veteran's Affairs (VA) Hospital has announced it will merge with...
call room

Call Room Bears Striking Resemblance to Medieval Dungeon

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DALLAS, TX - Third-year surgical resident Stacy Collins was shocked when she opened the door to her call room and found its striking resemblance...
golden globe

Medical Student Wins Golden Globe for Laparoscopic Cinematography in ‘Emergent Lap Chole’

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BROOKLYN, NY – Third-year medical student Praveen Chandiram has been awarded the first Golden Globe in Laparoscopic Cinematography for his work in an emergent...

Orthopod Has Near-Death Experience Until Internist Responds to Call for Doctor Mid-Flight

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SOMEWHERE OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN - Dr. Brock Hammersley felt nauseated and sweaty and experienced the feeling of an elephant sitting on his chest with...

Medicine Consulted for History and Physical

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IOWA CITY, IA - The University of Iowa Orthopedic Department has gone "all-in."  At 13:36 on Thursday, Orthopedic Surgery finally took the plunge from the...
surgeon shoes

Patient Alarmed After Noticing Surgeon’s Shoelace Untied

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MARIETTA, GA - Multiple sources are confirming that local patient Harry Dander is growing increasingly concerned for his upcoming surgery after noticing that his...
love at second sight nearsightedness

Most Cases of Love at Second Sight Due to Nearsightedness

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - We've all heard the phrase "Love at first sight."  But what about those people who don't fall in love at...