Surgery

airplane

Pilot Makes Passengers NPO After Midnight for Flight Tomorrow

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ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to minimize the risk of aspiration during tomorrow's three-hour East coast flight from Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport to Boston's Logan...
new medical app

Surgeon Time Finally Debunked with New App

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"How much longer?" anesthesia will ask.  "Only about an hour or so," a typical surgeon might answer.  Then anesthesia is forced to ask themselves,...
Trojan condom

It’s About Time: Trojan’s New Bulletproof Condoms to Protect Against STIs, Terrorists

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NEW YORK, NY - Focusing 2017 research and development dollars on the final sentence of their tagline "Trojan. Pleasure you want. Protection You Trust.," Trojan...
dick prick urologist urology

Surgeons shocked to learn anesthesiologists have actual names

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The plenary session of the annual American College of Surgeons meeting was brought to a standstill last Saturday when the keynote speaker, Dr. Davinci,...
Crayola, codes

Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes

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EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...

Psychic Hired to Read Patients’ Minds, Doctor Visit Time Reduced

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BATON ROUGE, LA -- Do you think doctors ask weird questions—like “Do you have any problems with your kidneys?” Or ones that are hard...
shag OR

Operating Room from the 70s Shutting Down, ‘Difficult to Clean’

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NEW YORK, NY – Disco isn’t dead, yet.  One of the last remaining icons of the great disco movement in NYC still remains in...

Orthopedic Surgeon Floods OR During Shoulder Arthroscopy

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OMAHA, NE - Officials from Hamton Hospital may have to implement new policies after an orthopedic surgeon inadvertently flooded out the operating room during...
phone

Health Care Providers Hail the Launch of the New “Patient Complaint Line”

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Following in the pattern of patient satisfaction scores, Dreamland General Hospital has initiated a new "Patient Complaint Line."  When a patient has acted in...