Local Man Loses Arm in Lawnmower Accident, ‘Why Can’t My Arm Be Made of...
WITCHITA, KS – Kevin O’Neil had an unfortunate accident yesterday where he lost his right arm. “I was reaching into the mower to clear...
Surgeons Remove Penis, Sex Toy Saved
NEW YORK, NY - Surgeons at University Hospital of Manhattan have performed a remarkable surgery on an unnamed male patient who presented to the Emergency Department...
U.S. Women’s Relay Team Elects to Use Femur, Not Baton for Handoffs
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - For this week's upcoming track and field event, the USA Track & Field Women's 4x100m Team has announced that it has...
Northeast Hospital the First to Institute Eyebrow Covers
A recent change in the rules governing the role of hair coverage has caused a frenzy among all surgical staff. Whereas before, a bouffant...
Anesthesiologist in Flap Room Refutes Reports of Peegasms, Calls for Multicenter Prospective Trial
Dr. I. Kaffeinate is prominent Canadian anesthesiologist who is raising doubts about a recently reported article1 in which urologists were warning women of a...
Orthopedics Consults Infectious Diseases for Potential Computer Virus
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Dr. Joseph Dell of Orthopedic Surgery was hoping it would be a calm day; no surgeries were scheduled and his...
Ophthalmologist Palpates Retina with Finger As Part of Dilated Eye Exam
NORCROSS, GA - Area ophthalmologist Rick Cavalier believes in taking full advantage of dilated pupils during his eye exams, which is why he not...
NASA: New Planet Discovered with Equatorial Volcano and Rivers of Lava
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a news conference held early this morning, NASA astronomers announced they have discovered a new planet next to Pluto with features...
This Just In: Your Health Care Job Sucks
Hey YOU, that’s right, I’m talking to you. Gomerblog just wanted to take some time to let you know that your job sucks. Really....