Surgery

HHS Announces New Crack Down on Illicit Cardiac Massage Parlors

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Officials from the Department of Health and Human Services Monday announced a joint operation with Departments of Homeland Security and the...
MRI scanner claustrophobia

New General Electric MRI Scanner 20 Times Louder Than Ever

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SCHENECTADY, NY - General Electric (GE) plans to revolutionize the course of magnetic resonance (MR) history once more when later this month they introduce...
hospital hallway

General Medicine Floor Smells a Little Less like Death Today

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TUCSON, AZ - Employees of the general medicine floor at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital arrived to work on Monday morning to a unit that smelled...

Psychiatrist Joins WWE and Puts Opponent in a Mental Health Hold

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LUBBOCK, TX – Finally fed up with all the bullying he was receiving from general surgeons, Dr. Froyd abandoned his post as Consultation-Liaison Psychiatrist...

Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes

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NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid...
happy hour for health care workers

The Medical Professional Development Drinking Game

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All health professionals will have to participate in some sort of mandatory professional development from time to time.  Whether it’s an organization-wide initiative to...

CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby...

Da Vinci a Big Help on 14-Hour Flight

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UNITED AIRLINES, MID-FLIGHT – Twenty minutes into Flight 156 from Los Angeles to Tokyo, a medical emergency took place.  "Do we have a doctor...
discharge summary

ICU Transfer Arrives with Hospital Summary on a Napkin

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - An 83-year-old man was transferred to the University Hospital Critical Care Unit from an outside hospital on Tuesday, with a...

Anesthesiologists Now Required by Law to Scratch Itching Surgeons During Operations

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BOCA RATON, FL - The longstanding practice of anesthesiologists having to scratch surgeons in the operating room has now become codified into law.  Effective next...