Breaking: Medical Student Faints on Rounds, No One Cares
NEW ORLEANS, LA - During vascular surgery rounds this morning, a medical student fainted in a patient’s room, and no one cared.
“On the vascular...
Study: People Named Willie, Dick & Johnson at Higher Risk for UTIs
NEW ORLEANS, LA - A study coming out of the University of New Orleans has found that people with names such as Willie, Dick,...
New Sub-Zero ORs Trialed: Orthopedic Surgeon Still Asking for Temperature Turned Down
CHICAGO, IL - In an effort to remove excess body heat that orthopedic surgeons generate, OR manufacturer Slyker has paired with refrigerator maker Frigid-Air...
Michael Kors Designs Surgical Gown Line for Spring
From couture gowns to handbags, and now to surgical gowns, there's no telling what Michael Kors will do next.
The plain paper or fabric surgical...
Increased Consults for ‘Cold Extremities’ Occurring During Snowstorm, ER Docs Puzzled
JERSEY CITY, NJ - A shortage of vascular surgeons has been discovered in the north- east due to an absurd amount a vascular consults...
Orthopod Has Near-Death Experience Until Internist Responds to Call for Doctor Mid-Flight
SOMEWHERE OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN - Dr. Brock Hammersley felt nauseated and sweaty and experienced the feeling of an elephant sitting on his chest with...
General Medicine Floor Smells a Little Less like Death Today
TUCSON, AZ - Employees of the general medicine floor at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital arrived to work on Monday morning to a unit that smelled...
Patriotic Call Lights, Pagers to Play National Anthem
WASHINGTON, DC - For those patients and providers in the nation's hospitals today, new special edition patriotic call lights, IV pumps, and pagers are...
Ophthalmologists Bracing Themselves for Full Day of Work After Solar Eclipse
SALEM, OR - Ophthalmologists throughout the country are bracing themselves for what could be an entire day of work immediately after the solar eclipse...
New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”
CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside...