Orthopods Reclassified as Bromo Sapiens
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In their first update in nearly two years, the American Taxonomy Society (ATS) has placed arthropods under their own genus, formally...
Frustrated Urologist Designs Obscenity-Screaming Stent
BOSTON, MA - It started in 2007 when Dr. Ronald Jeremy, a staff urologist, was on his way out the door to the departmental...
PT and OT File for Divorce
PITTSBURGH, PA - In news that is making banner headlines in society pages nationwide and has left medical high society shocked and incredulous, Physical...
Anesthesia Resident Falls Asleep During Case, Reprimanded For Missing Lunch Break
CHICAGO, IL - Chaos ensued at a Chicago hospital last week when an anesthesia resident was missing from the surgical lounge. Around 10 a.m.,...
Avagard Widely Replaced by Gym Chalk in Ortho Surgery Centers
FREEHOLD, NJ - Avagard, the surgical hand antiseptic is now being replaced in many orthopedic surgery centers across the globe. The replacement? Large bowls...
Breaking News: Orthopod Catches Dosing Error
BOSTON, MA - Rotating Orthopedics 4th year resident, Dr. Brandt Sullivan, caught a medication error at Boston Children’s Hospital two nights ago. Dr. Sullivan...
Ortho Writes Perfect SOAP Note, First No-Worder This Year
LOS ANGELES, CA - Cliff Kershaw of UCLA Medical Center etched his way into the record books early this morning as he wrote the...
Surgeon Uses da Vinci Robot to Craft the Perfect Ham and Cheese Sandwich
CLEVELAND, OH - After finishing up his cases for the day, an oncological surgeon brought sandwich supplies with him to a vacant operating room...
Vascular Converts Infected BKA Into Above-the-Nipples Amputation
PORTLAND, OR - As a means of source control for a patient in severe sepsis, a Portland-based vascular surgeon has played it safe by...
Fortune Cookies Replace Lotto Numbers with Vital Signs
BROOKLYN, NY - In an effort to appeal to health care professionals who order Chinese food for take out because the cafeteria is closed, fortune...