Monday, February 8, 2021

Surgery

hunger pain scale hangry

Joint Commission Releases New Hunger Pain Scale

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CHICAGO, IL - Gomerblog has just received word, in fact several words, that the Joint Commission will put forth a new hunger pain scale.  This comes as the Joint Commission acknowledges that hunger pain is...

Trauma Surgeon Struggles to Repair Hole in Favorite Pair of Pants

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ATLANTA, GA - Trauma surgeon Maya Sonenstein has seen it all in her young career.  “I’ve seen all kinds of trauma.  My phone is an archive of human flesh and broken bones,” she said...
intern, urine

Breaking: Intern Can’t Hold It, Pees on Self

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Unable to speak up and hold his bladder any longer on morning rounds, surgical intern Chris McElroy decided to pee all over himself in embarrassing albeit satisfying glory. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." he moaned while rolling...

Too Much Pressure: Masseuse Breaks All 206 Bones in Client’s Body

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OKLAHOMA CITY, OK - Despite the request to use only light-to-medium pressure during a one hour deep tissue massage, masseuse Lindsey Wang has gone overboard and accidentally broken all 206 bones in her client Gabby...
orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics

Ortho Consults Medicine to See if It’s Spelled Orthopedics or Orthopaedics

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BOSTON, MA - Unable to settle a decades-long debate amongst themselves, orthopods at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) have swallowed their pride and consulted their internal medicine colleagues to help them spell their speciality: is...

Attending Gives Medical Student Honors For Standing Out Of The Way In The Operating...

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SAN DIEGO, CA - “Impeccable.” Atoway, a third year medical student, was floored as he read his attending’s evaluation for him on his surgery clerkship. “His ability to stand out of the way during a...
new medical app

Surgeon Time Finally Debunked with New App

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"How much longer?" anesthesia will ask.  "Only about an hour or so," a typical surgeon might answer.  Then anesthesia is forced to ask themselves, "Does that mean 2 hours?  Maybe longer?  Maybe shorter?  Are...

A Growing Trend with Men, Vasectomy Procedure Plans

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CHICAGO, IL - Recently a new trend has been spreading like wildfires throughout urology and family medicine clinics in the US…Vasectomy Procedure Plans.  Many men seeking sterility are taking the advice from numerous pregnant...
athlete's foot

Rivalry Between Family Practitioner and Podiatrist Linked Back to One Case of Foot Fungus

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MEDIA, PA - Tempers continue to flare in a small suburban town even after local researchers discovered that the origin of the now infamous rivalry between a podiatrist and a family medicine physician started with...
hospitalist place

Hospitalist Explains: Hip Fracture

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Orthopedics can be complicated. Thankfully, Dr. Hal Dole, after passing his IM boards also completed a Fellowship in: Optimization, Restoration, Transition and Hyperalimentation of Organ Malfunction Emanating from Surgical Sequelae and Surprises: ORTHO-MESSS. There,...