Surgery

hospital hallway

General Medicine Floor Smells a Little Less like Death Today

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TUCSON, AZ - Employees of the general medicine floor at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital arrived to work on Monday morning to a unit that smelled...
incentive spirometer incentivized spirometer

New Incentivized Spirometers to Pay $50 Per Deep Breath

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ATLANTA, GA – In an effort to better encourage patients to do their breathing exercises, a newly-designed incentivized spirometer will pay patients $50 per...
emergency department

Intern Shocked to Discover TV Residency and Real Residency Vastly Different

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BALTIMORE, MD - Dr. Anita Campbell dreamt of becoming a physician for years.  Three months ago, she finally graduated from medical school to fulfill...

Orthopaedic Surgeons Declared Strongest Species on Earth

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GABORONE, BOTSWANA - Inspired by the 2018 World’s Strongest Man competition, local orthopaedic surgeon Jamies Baylee started pondering if there exists a species of...

Soap Opera Doctor Still Awaiting Credentialing 5 Years and Counting

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HOLLYWOOD, CA – Dr. Mario Love, a well-known Days of Our Lives general surgeon, is still not credentialed at his local hospital after being on the...
sounds of hospital

“Hospital Sounds” Debuts at #1 on Billboard Music Charts

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NEW YORK, NY - The music industry was stunned this week to find out that Hospital Sounds: The Sounds of the Hospital, an album...
npo guidelines acute pulmonary embolism

Santa Claus Aspirates Milk, Cookies after Ignoring NPO Guidelines

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NORTH POLE, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SIBERIA & ALASKA - Christmas has been canceled as Santa Claus fights for his life in the ICU.  Thankfully he...

Bob Costas’ Eye Infection Starting to Get Infected

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SOCHI, RUSSIA – Famous sports anchor Bob Costas has been plagued by a recent eye infection.  The infection started in his left eye and has...
surgeons operating

Urologist Cannot Find Ureter, Consults OB/GYN

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Dr. Hans Veener, the chief of urology, could not identify the right ureter during a recent surgery at Marion General Hospital.  Shockingly, rather than...
Wonder Woman bracelets

Under Fire, Wonder Woman Uses Her Indestructible Bracelets to Deflect ER Admissions Left &...

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THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman has been under siege by emergency room personnel at Amazonian Medical Center, but doesn't seem fazed as her Bracelets of...