Surgery

discharge summary

ICU Transfer Arrives with Hospital Summary on a Napkin

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - An 83-year-old man was transferred to the University Hospital Critical Care Unit from an outside hospital on Tuesday, with a...
or-drapes

Surgery & Anesthesia Ready to Take Things to the Next Level & Remove the...

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Gossip alert!  According to our sources, Surgery & Anesthesia in OR 5 are ready to take things to the next...

Jesus Christ Himself Scheduled to Perform Miracle, Patient Furious with being NPO

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Mr. Jacobs’ primary team was thrilled when their hospital operator was finally able to get through to Jesus Christ regarding the miracle they were...
hipaa patient privacy

HIPAA Loosens Up, Just Say Whatever, Whenever, Wherever the Hell You Want

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WASHINGTON, DC - Doctors, nurses, and other health care practitioners nationwide are breathing a sigh of relief this morning as government officials have loosened...

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Identifies as Medical Student, Crushes Surgery Rotation

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When asked if she felt like she had an unfair advantage against clearly weaker competition, Dr. Beer was unapologetic. “I felt like a student in my heart so I was just living my true self.”

New Weight Loss Surgery to Bypass Stomach, Mouth Completely

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BALTIMORE, MD – Calling the new procedure a “miracle in bariatric surgery,” physicians at John’s Hopkins University spoke at a press conference last Saturday...
wallet aorta

Surgeon a Bit More Cavalier Now That ‘They’ve Cured Hep C’

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MOUNT SINAI, NY - No one was more excited about the release of Harvoni, a potentially curative medication for the hepatitis C virus, than Dr....
neurosurgeon

ACGME Caps Neurosurgery Residency Hours to 80 Hours Per Day

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In a surprising change in culture, the ACGME, in collaboration with the World Health Organization and several other human rights groups, have decided to...
Medicare gratuity plan

Medicare Institutes New ‘Gratuity-Based’ Compensation Plan

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) began the rollout of their revolutionary new compensation model this week, in which physicians...
swat team elite HIPAA stormtroopers

Nurse & Doctor Held Hostage by Patient Who Keeps Talking

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ATLANTA, GA - GomerBlog reports a tense standoff at Georgia Medical Center (GMC) where both nurse Chris Landry and internist Ashley Barnett have been...