AAOS: Osteoporosis Renamed Bone Failure
“Bone failure. It’s the new hotness. Now let’s start taking it seriously!”
Anesthesiologist Calls for STAT Sudoku Help in OR 3
PHOENIX, AZ – St. Joe’s Outpatient Surgery Center’s anesthesiologist Dr. James Robinson was twenty-two minutes into performing anesthesia on a 31-year-old ASA 1 for...
Ortho Consulted to Repair Broken Wishbone
NASHVILLE, TN - Orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley was consulted last night after the wishbone of an 18-lb. turkey was shattered by two members of the...
Pediatrician About to Call Surgery to Lay Hands on Another Punky-Looking Kiddo
2AM, KNOXVILLE, TN - According to seventh floor pediatrics ward sources, local pediatrician and hospitalist Dr. Jerry Dirkins is about to call for another...
Lazy Eye Not Even Trying to See
TALLAHASSEE, FL – In an embarrassing show of pure slothfulness, the right eye of 28-year-old Christopher Chang has become so lazy that it won’t...
Breaking: Nurse Initiates Lesser-Known Chloride Repletion Protocol
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Nurse Jess Casamento of Ochsner Medical Center is one of the best when it comes to repleting electrolytes: potassium, magnesium, even...
New Sub-Zero ORs Trialed: Orthopedic Surgeon Still Asking for Temperature Turned Down
CHICAGO, IL - In an effort to remove excess body heat that orthopedic surgeons generate, OR manufacturer Slyker has paired with refrigerator maker Frigid-Air...
DIY Appendectomy Kit Now Available
With surgeons’ schedules increasingly filled, a DIY appendectomy kit has been created to save both patients' and doctors' time.
“Appendectomies are really easy,” said general...
Friday ‘Dump Job’ Ends Back on Hospitalist
PORTLAND, MA – Hospitalist Dr. Doug Moore was trying to plan ahead for his upcoming weekend. He knew he had to take Ms. Williams off his...
Trojan Releases New ‘Bare Skin’ Surgical Gloves
In an effort to diversify their market share, Trojan has unveiled a new line of “Bare Skin” surgical gloves aimed to maximize the surgeon’s...