Surgery

brain stem biopsy

Fearless Neurologist Attempts to Order Brain Stem Biopsy Via EHR

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ST. LOUIS, MO - It was Tuesday morning in the middle of rounds when local bad boy neurologist, Dr. Chinstrap, felt his next stroke...
Ancef pump

Orthopod Caught Auscultating Ancef Pump

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ATLANTA, GA - "Shhh," orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley told befuddled onlookers as he used a stethoscope (or, as he puts it, "a mini jump rope") to...

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Dreams of Becoming Hollywood Star

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NEW YORK, NY - Prominent cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Dale Enderwood had "an amazing dream" last night and he woke up wishing he could return to that dream. What’s...
da vinci robot

Da Vinci Robots to be Deployed for Snow Shoveling

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Ever get cold shoveling?  Or exhausted?  Maybe it is time to try the daVinci robot shovel.  This fantastic extension for the...
apple pager

What We Like & Dislike About the New Apple Pager

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CUPERTINO, CA - Lost amidst the excitement of the new Apple Watch has been the new Apple Pager, which is also due to hit...

Plastic Surgery Summer Fellowship Teaches Students How to Match Cufflinks with Pocket Watches

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NEW YORK — Students enrolled in the Plastic Surgery Summer Fellowship were surprised when they were instructed via electronic mail not to report to...
doctor updating

What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 2

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This is a continuation from our first post: What "Thank You for the Interesting Consult" Really Means, Part 1.  Let’s go! Nutrition Translation: Like it or...
signed off sign off

Med Student Wins Award for ‘Best Suture Scissor-Cutting Technique’

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Anna Sturgeon is this year's recipient of the prestigious award for "Best Suture Scissor-Cutting Technique."  She narrowly beat another top...

Jesus Christ Himself Scheduled to Perform Miracle, Patient Furious with being NPO

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Mr. Jacobs’ primary team was thrilled when their hospital operator was finally able to get through to Jesus Christ regarding the miracle they were...
Rand Paul

Rand Paul’s Medical Credibility Lowered to Jenny McCarthy’s Level

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KENTUCKY - In a shocking statement released today by Rand Paul, a well-respected Kentucky senator and ophthalmologist, he believes vaccines can lead to "mental...