Surgery

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Orthopods Reclassified as Bromo Sapiens

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In their first update in nearly two years, the American Taxonomy Society (ATS) has placed arthropods under their own genus, formally...
thanksgiving dinner

Neurosurgery Resident Doesn’t Recognize Own Child at Thanksgiving Dinner

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NASHVILLE, TN - Although aware how busy he is, the family of second-year neurosurgery resident Dr. Michael Duke planned a dinner to celebrate Thanksgiving...

Some Lovers Try Positions That They Can’t Handle, Break Hand Bones in Process

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RALEIGH, NC - GomerBlog has confirmed this morning that some local lovers tried positions that they ultimately couldn’t handle and broke several carpal bones...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Gastroenterologist Paged Record 35 Times While in Restroom

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KANSAS CITY, MO - In a stark development it has been reported that earlier this morning during a five-minute bathroom break, Dr. Timothy McFadden, a...
maximal surgery

Surgeon Recommends Maximally-Invasive Surgery

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KEARNEY, NE - Dr. Billy Ali Colic, a surgeon at Kind Samaritan Hospital, pulled no punches and hid no excitement when he recommended a...
orthopedic surgeon ripping phone book bieps

Orthopod Bewildered by Internist with Bigger Biceps

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LOS ANGELES, CA - "How can it be??!!" wondered orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley, scratching his noggin with his oversized mitts.  "Thor don't understand!"  You...

Da Vinci on Pace to Win Gold in the All-Around

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Da Vinci Robot came to the Olympic games with high hopes. Bob Costas has called him "the single greatest...
external fixator

Ortho Stabilizes Stethoscope with External Fixator

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Stating overwhelming concern over the flimsy nature of medicine colleague Louis Lefebvre's stethoscope, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has successfully stabilized...

Surgeon Struggles to Carve Turkey at Thanksgiving

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DES MOINES, IA - Thanksgiving has finally arrived and is in full swing across the country.  Millions of dysfunctional families get together for a celebration...

Lazy Eye Not Even Trying to See

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TALLAHASSEE, FL – In an embarrassing show of pure slothfulness, the right eye of 28-year-old Christopher Chang has become so lazy that it won’t...