Surgery

traffic jam outside of operating room

Traffic Report: Pile-Up In Front of OR 21

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HOUSTON, TX - At approximately 5:13 PM today there was a multiple-bed collision in front of OR 21 causing a delay in all outbound...

Hospital Administrators to Evaluate Surgeon’s Potential for Revenue Versus Headache Generation

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NASHVILLE, TN - Noted researchers Dr. Harvey Stephens and Dr. Phil Burman offer a new matrix for evaluating surgeons for employment.  The STAR (Surgeon...
doctor on computer

Alternate Phrases for “This is a Very Pleasant…”

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It’s not uncommon to start a history of present illness (HPI), assessment, or discharge summary with the following phrase: This is a very pleasant…...
bartender

The Epic EHR Bartender

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Patron: I’d like a beer. Epic: Wait until I log on… (30 seconds) Welcome to Hyperspace! Patron: I’d like a beer. Epic: Pick from this list. Patron: Hmm…...
angry patient

Tips: How to Defuse the Angry Patient (or at the Very Least, Make Things...

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Handling the angry patient (or family member) is a very delicate situation, so we should all be grateful that we were never educated on...
absolute zero Kelvin

Breaking: Surgeon Sets OR Temperature to Absolute Zero (-273.15° Celsius)

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MIAMI, FL - General surgeon Thomas Rauch has entered into the Surgery Hall of Fame (SHOF) today after setting the temperature in his operating...
caps lock

NURSE SUSPENDED FOR WRITING NOTES IN CAPS LOCK

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NORFOLK, VA - NURSE AMANDA HAN WAS SUSPENDED EARLY THIS MORNING BY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION FOR THE SAME OFFENSE YET AGAIN: ALWAYS WRITING HER NOTES...

Local Man Haunted by Crying Colic Baby

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ATLANTA, GA – Local resident Ryan Foster, a 28-year-old bachelor and physical medicine and rehabilitation (PMR) resident, told GomerBlog he was currently haunted by a...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Bravo! Patient’s Continuous Log of Stool Measures 5-Feet Long!

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GREENVILLE, SC - With a swirl of stool in the toilet bowl resembling a generous piece of churro, patient Davis Adderley has just had...

Conversation Starters While Scrubbing For Surgery with Your Attending

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Scrubbing before surgery can be an awkward time for residents who have to spend up to 5 uninterrupted minutes standing next to an attending...