Hospital Eliminates July from Calendar, Decreases Mortality 3,000%
BOSTON, MA - Hospital administrators nationwide are hailing a successful new effort described as “downright brilliant” to help curb hospital mortality by eliminating July from...
Entire Hospital IT Department Being Placed into Protective Custody After ‘Upgrading’ EMR
LOS ANGELES, CA - Yesterday evening, Have Mercy On Me Hospital in Los Angeles upgraded their electronic medical record (EMR) and what ensued can...
Hospital Taking Patient Satisfaction Scores Way Too Seriously
CHICAGO, IL - "Simply outrageous," were comments expressed by physicians and nurses in regards to how hospital administrators were implementing new management policies at Mercy...
Brilliant Chemist Gives up Dream of Curing Cancer, Focuses Efforts on Inducing 3 ½...
CAMBRIDGE, MA - Citing practical reasons, 41-year-old renowned chemist and laboratory researcher Charles Kenzington, Ph.D. has formally ended his three-decade quest to discover a...
‘I Don’t Need Reading Glasses’ Says Patient Holding Everything at Arm’s Length
KNOXVILLE, TN – Holding a magazine as far as his arm will allow, local man Harold Chou confidently announced at a local eye clinic...
American Board of General Surgery to Add Section on Barbering
The governing body of General Surgery has announced in a press release that "barbering" would be added as a requirement for certification. This in...
Precious Ophthalmologist Tries to Help During Code
PITTSBURGH, PA – Arriving to the surgical ICU with his little box full of eye equipment, precious ophthalmologist Thomas Finkle reportedly tried to help...
Hospitals forced to tap their strategic reserves of breast augmentation supplies
For the past several weeks, the Covid 19 pandemic has had a devastating affect on the citizens of the entire world. No one has...
Mid-Case and Looking for a Workout, Orthopod Asks Scrub Tech for Dumbbells
LOS ANGELES, CA - Realizing that this little-old lady's hip replacement wasn't giving him the adequate workout and reps he needed, orthopedic surgeon Brock...
Brian Williams: I Performed the First Heart Transplant
NBC - Reports have recently surfaced that NBC news anchor, Brian Williams, claimed to have performed the first heart transplant in 1967. In a...