Rare Patient Asks Only for Tylenol for Pain, Receives Standing Ovation
ATLANTA, GA - Chelsea Mason is one amazing woman. Only 12 hours removed from a knee replacement surgery for severe osteoarthritis, Mason has left...
Breaking News: Orthopod Places Ex Fix on Ex Fix
SEATTLE, WA - Questioning if the external fixation device (or ex fix) placed on a patient’s leg is stable enough for the job, Harborview Medical...
Breaking: Tom Price Signs Off, Turfs Department of Health & Human Services to Medicine
WASHINGTON, D.C. - After dealing with scandal over the use of private jets for multiple government business trips, orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has signed...
Thai Cave Divers to Locate Obese Patient’s Genitals
KEARNEY, NE - With options dwindling, all hopes rest on the heroic divers who saved the boys in Thailand to locate a 600-lb. man’s...
Women to be recruited into ortho with promise of no line for bathroom
The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons has begun a new campaign to entice women to enter a career in orthopaedic surgery. Dr. David Bonaparte,...
“Miracle Cure” for Peripheral Vascular Disease Discovered at Major Academic Center by Medical Intern
The campus is aflutter with excitement as Dr. H. Simpson, preliminary medical intern extraordinaire, has found the cure for the incurable. No one in...
Barium Enema Reveals Abnormal Presence of Barium in the Colon
NEW YORK, NY - An inpatient medical team was shocked to learn that a barium enema performed earlier today revealed an abnormal presence of...
Do You Know Your ABCs by Subspecialty?
CHICAGO, IL – The American College of Surgeons (ACS) released new subspecialty-focused primary survey guidelines for Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS) this week after...
Sharapova Returns with Shriek So Strong Her Own Ear Bleeds
FLUSHING, NY - In the fourth game of the third set, Sharapova unleashed a powerful forehand winner with a shriek so piercing it caused...
Medical Student Accidentally Pimps Orthopedic Surgeon
NEW YORK, NY - In what is being called a “total collapse of the medical training hierarchy,” third-year medical student Jennifer Hutchinson of University Medical...