Surgery

ophthalmology

Ophthalmologists Bracing Themselves for Full Day of Work After Solar Eclipse

0
SALEM, OR - Ophthalmologists throughout the country are bracing themselves for what could be an entire day of work immediately after the solar eclipse...

Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl Wanders Off Medicine Floor, Gets Captured by Surgery

14
SAN ANTONIO, TX – Sgt. Bergdahl was being treated by an internal medicine team at Hope Mercy Hospital for routine care on Wednesday, when he...
anesthesiologist hospital

Hospital Replaces Anesthesiologists with Voice-Activated OR Tables, Saves Millions

48
SAN JOSE, CA - In what appears to be a medical first, surgeons at Methodist Northwest Hospital have found that using voice-activated operating room...
Steve Bannon

Surgical Oncologist Successfully Resects Steve Bannon from National Security Council

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a press conference at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital early this morning, surgical oncologist Dr. H.R. McMaster was pleased to announce that he...
ophthalmologist

Ophthalmologists Found to be “Physically Weakest” of All Specialists

0
New research has shed light on which group of physicians are the most physically frail and feeble. Emerging data shows that the top spot...
spay neuter frightened favorite pen

Laparoscopic Training Box Septic After Practice Session with Interns

0
An inanimate training apparatus, made up of a plastic box with holes to place a laparoscopic camera and graspers, is in critical condition after...
routine blood work urine A-fib B-minus

Ophthalmologist Dresses Up as Doctor for Halloween

0
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Sporting a stethoscope and a white coat, 58-year-old ophthalmologist Donald Myers  decided to dress up as a real life doctor for...
Tom Price

Tom Price to Stabilize ACA Marketplaces with Intramedullary Nails

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Secretary of Health & Human Services and former orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has suggested that the best way to stabilize Affordable...

Area LEGO Man Admitted with Bright Red Blocks Per Rectum

0
LEGOLAND, FL - An area LEGO man is in serious condition at LEGOLAND Medical Center after he presented to the emergency department (ED) with...
butthurt anal resection

Breaking: Anal Resection Now First-Line Treatment for Butthurt

0
CHICAGO, IL - In response to an exponential increase in cases of butthurt over the past several years, the American College of Surgeons (ACS)...