Emergency: Navy Urologist Calls Out ‘All Hands on Dick!’
NORFOLK, VA - Realizing that this simple procedure was taking a turn for the worst and giving him more than he can handle, Navy urologist...
Fake News: Tiger Wasn’t Pulled Over for DUI, He Was Post-Call
PALM BEACH, FL - Reports have surfaced that CNN's original claim that Tiger Woods was arrested for driving under the influence are false. It...
Hospital Replaces Anesthesiologists with Voice-Activated OR Tables, Saves Millions
SAN JOSE, CA - In what appears to be a medical first, surgeons at Methodist Northwest Hospital have found that using voice-activated operating room...
Meet CrossSh*t, The High-Intensity Bowel Program
SANTA CRUZ, CA - The founders of CrossFit Greg Glassman and Lauren Jenai have announced the creation of a new strength and conditioning program to...
Urology to Use Nutcracker in OR During the Holidays
TOPEKA, KS – Urologists at Mercy Hospital have announced plans to perform surgery with the help of an 8-foot-tall wooden nutcracker during the holiday...
Homeopathic Burn Remedy Effective, Allopaths Stunned
DENVER, CO - Doctors, skeptics, and the scientific community as a whole, were stunned today when the North American branch of the Society for...
Researchers: If Washing Hands Won’t Remove All Germs, Blowing Them Off at High Speeds...
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Researchers from Harvard University have discovered the reason for high-cost hand dryers in bathrooms all over the United States. In public...
Brilliant Chemist Gives up Dream of Curing Cancer, Focuses Efforts on Inducing 3 ½...
CAMBRIDGE, MA - Citing practical reasons, 41-year-old renowned chemist and laboratory researcher Charles Kenzington, Ph.D. has formally ended his three-decade quest to discover a...
US Men’s Soccer Team Blames Loss to Trinidad On Anesthesia
COUVA, TRINIDAD - The US Men’s National Soccer Team sustained the most disappointing loss in Team history losing to Trinidad and Tobago eliminating them...
Breaking: Tom Price Signs Off, Turfs Department of Health & Human Services to Medicine
WASHINGTON, D.C. - After dealing with scandal over the use of private jets for multiple government business trips, orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has signed...