Breaking: Anal Resection Now First-Line Treatment for Butthurt
CHICAGO, IL - In response to an exponential increase in cases of butthurt over the past several years, the American College of Surgeons (ACS)...
Researchers Discover Length of “A While”
ST. LOUIS, MO - It turns out, when a patient’s symptoms have been present for “a while,” they began about 4.2 months ago.
So say researchers...
New General Electric MRI Scanner 20 Times Louder Than Ever
SCHENECTADY, NY - General Electric (GE) plans to revolutionize the course of magnetic resonance (MR) history once more when later this month they introduce...
Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In
CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver....
Medical Ethics: Magician Orthopedist Elects Not to Saw Patient in Half Due to Conflict...
LAS VEGAS, NV - In an apparent conflict of interest, orthopedist and amateur magician, Dr. Felipe Ross, elected not to saw his patient in...
General Surgery Realizes They’re Becoming the British Empire of Surgery
Local general surgeon, Arthur Wellesley, reclined in his leather armchair yearning for the days of General Surgery domination of nearly every aspect of Surgery. ...
Urologists Recommend Against Buddy Taping for Penile Fractures
WIENER, AR - Last weekend local man Joseph Peyronie sustained a penile fracture in a tragic mishap involving a lawnmower, a tire swing, and...
Pediatrician About to Call Surgery to Lay Hands on Another Punky-Looking Kiddo
2AM, KNOXVILLE, TN - According to seventh floor pediatrics ward sources, local pediatrician and hospitalist Dr. Jerry Dirkins is about to call for another...
Traffic Report: Pile-Up In Front of OR 21
HOUSTON, TX - At approximately 5:13 PM today there was a multiple-bed collision in front of OR 21 causing a delay in all outbound...
ZDoggMD: “Ain’t the Way to Die”
End of life care. We need to talk about it more...
From ZDoggMD: "Need help breaking the ice? Here’s Ain’t The Way To Die, based on the...