Wellness Lecture Scheduled on Christmas Morning
NEW YORK, NY - In a dramatic move that is sure to send shock waves through the medical community, an elite Surgical Residency program...
Cardiothoracic Surgeon Identifies as Medical Student, Crushes Surgery Rotation
When asked if she felt like she had an unfair advantage against clearly weaker competition, Dr. Beer was unapologetic. “I felt like a student in my heart so I was just living my true self.”
Urologist Anxiously Awaits Cryptorchid Ball Drop
SAN DIEGO, CA – Local Urologist, Aric Triwenga MD, has an eccentric tradition that he carries out every New Years while hundreds of millions...
Nation’s Arteries Brace for Impact of Chipotle’s New Queso
SACRAMENTO, CA – Speaking at a press conference last Saturday, a local left renal artery expressed “grave concern” amongst itself and the billions of...
Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results
BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results....
Alarming Study Finds Malignant Brain Cancers Appear on Side of Cell Phone Use
BOSTON, MA - A new multi-center randomized study to be published next week in Medicine found that a whopping 52.4% (+/- 3.67% with p-value 0.02) of brain cancers are...
Local Orthopedic’s Practice Gives Away Free Pogo Sticks
NAPERVILLE, IL – Local orthopedic practice Grahm-Livingston-Henn have been giving away free pogo sticks for the past 4 months. Coincidentally business has boomed!
An official...
Hospital Administrators Chastise Emergency, Surgical & Medical Staff for Patient Satisfaction Scores Lagging Behind...
BOCA RATON, FL - Staff from three departments - Emergency, Surgery & Internal Medicine - received scathing criticism from hospital administrators at today's monthly meeting...
Yiddish to Be Introduced Into Official Medical Terminology
PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Language Council of Hospitals and Institutions of Medicine (LCHAIM) announced yesterday that a number of commonly used Yiddish terms have...
Elephant Complains of Chest Pain ‘Like a Human Sitting on My Chest’
NEW YORK, NY - At approximately 6:00 AM this morning, a local elephant named Eli the Elephant developed excruciating ten out of ten chest...