Traffic Report: Pile-Up In Front of OR 21
HOUSTON, TX - At approximately 5:13 PM today there was a multiple-bed collision in front of OR 21 causing a delay in all outbound...
Forget Sheep: Orthopod Counts Bones to Fall Asleep Each Night
MUSCLE SHOALS, AL - Calling the domesticated ruminant animal too soft and fluffy for her liking, area orthopedic surgeon Dr. Tracey Hammerhead prefers counting...
Surgeons to operate 6 feet away from patient in operating room
Per compliance with "social distancing," all OR staff will now stand 6 feet away from each other, including 6 feet away from the patient.
Neurosurgeon...
Emergency: Navy Urologist Calls Out ‘All Hands on Dick!’
NORFOLK, VA - Realizing that this simple procedure was taking a turn for the worst and giving him more than he can handle, Navy urologist...
Fortune Cookies Replace Lotto Numbers with Vital Signs
BROOKLYN, NY - In an effort to appeal to health care professionals who order Chinese food for take out because the cafeteria is closed, fortune...
Breaking: Potato Sees Ophthalmologist for Yearly Eye Exam
BOISE, ID - America's favorite vegetable, the potato, went for its yearly exam today. "Its five eyes continue to be in good health with perfect...
Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory
DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine. This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals...
Surgeon Recommends Amputation as Means of Improving Weight Loss Outcomes
LOS ANGELES, CA - Los Angeles-based vascular surgeon Dr. Jackson Dyers has begun recommending that his patients living with obesity undergo above the knee...
Urologist Cannot Find Ureter, Consults OB/GYN
Dr. Hans Veener, the chief of urology, could not identify the right ureter during a recent surgery at Marion General Hospital. Shockingly, rather than...
