Surgery

Faux Hawk-Sporting Orthopedist Inspires Confidence In His Patients

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OMAHA, NE - Dr. Rory Holloway, an orthopedic surgeon hailing from Nebraska, recently received the state's physician of the year award for the third...
mri scanner

New Super Duper Minimally Invasive Transurethral Aortic Valve Replacement Gaining Popularity

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NEW HAVEN, CT - Patients across the country are calling their doctors at all hours asking to be scheduled for the newest minimally invasive...
bunk bed

Family Admits That Putting Grandma in the Top Bunk was Probably a Bad Idea

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BROOKLYN, NY - After thinking back on the events that had transpired over the past week, the family of 98-year-old Bertha Schwartz, who presented...
Tom Price

Tom Price to Stabilize ACA Marketplaces with Intramedullary Nails

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Secretary of Health & Human Services and former orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has suggested that the best way to stabilize Affordable...
polar vortex

Breaking: Polar Vortex Blamed on Subzero OR Temperatures

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SILVER SPRING, MD - Begging surgeons to keep operating room doors closed as much as possible, the National Weather Service (NWS) has cited the...
pencil by medical specialty

Describe This Pencil by Medical Specialty

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Your specialty of choice fosters a certain way of doing things. We polled residents from several different specialties and asked them to describe this...
donut hole ACA

Affordable Care Act to Close Donut Hole with Delicious Strawberry Filling

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WASHINGTON, DC - For years, the Medicare Part D coverage gap or “donut hole” had always left senior citizens with a less-than-sweet taste in...

General Surgery Realizes They’re Becoming the British Empire of Surgery

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Local general surgeon, Arthur Wellesley, reclined in his leather armchair yearning for the days of General Surgery domination of nearly every aspect of Surgery. ...
radiologist reading MRI

Health System Approves New Priority Level for Radiology Exams: ‘Insanity Stat’

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BOSTON, MA - New England-based hospital system GinormaHealth announced Tuesday that effective August 1st a new priority system would be in effect for all...
blue hospital sign hospital signs

To Control Patient Volumes, Hospital Takes Down Hospital Signs Within 5-Mile Radius

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Exhausted from record levels of ER visits as reflected in recent CEDOCS scores, emergency department staff at University of Alabama at Birmingham...