BMI Classification Replaces Word “Obesity” with “American”
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - The World Health Organization (WHO) has revised its BMI (body mass index) classification system, a simple and widely used method for...
Brilliant Chemist Gives up Dream of Curing Cancer, Focuses Efforts on Inducing 3 ½...
CAMBRIDGE, MA - Citing practical reasons, 41-year-old renowned chemist and laboratory researcher Charles Kenzington, Ph.D. has formally ended his three-decade quest to discover a...
Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List
WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...
Anesthesiologist in Flap Room Refutes Reports of Peegasms, Calls for Multicenter Prospective Trial
Dr. I. Kaffeinate is prominent Canadian anesthesiologist who is raising doubts about a recently reported article1 in which urologists were warning women of a...
Podiatrists Admit They’re Not Really Examining Patients, Just Tickling Them
TOEJAM LAKE, CA - At the 23rd annual National Podiatric Conference on Bunions, the board of directors voted 5-4 to admit what the public...
Healthy Ambulating Male Continues to Ask Nurses for Urinal
ATTLEBORO, MA - A very upset Ronald Stern is suing Sturdy Memorial Hospital for the pain and suffering he experienced when his nurse asked...
Ode to Thyroid: Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride
Listen
I have to confess
I have not been appreciative of you
You give and you give and you give
But you also know when to pull back
You...
Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections. For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
Clumsy Intern Keeps Tripping Over Patients’ Foley Catheters
BOULDER, CO - Patients, nurses, and urologists at Boulder Medical Center are starting to lose patience with intern Willie Johnson, who despite being incredibly...