Emergency Departments Implement New Triage Form to Screen Patients for Actual Disease
NEW YORK, NY - Myocardial infarction, subarachnoid hemorrhage, sepsis, diabetic ketoacidosis: these are examples of what the medical community regards as "real diseases." Unfortunately,...
Five-Second Rule Validated in the Operating Room
CHICAGO, IL - In a paradigm shift for the operating room, a new study has found that reusing instruments dropped on the operating room...
Newly Promoted General Surgeon’s Business Cards, A Little Too True
LOS ANGELES, CA – UCLA’s newly promoted general surgeon, Assistant Professor William Heffner, just received his updated business cards today. An unfortunate error in...
Ophthalmologists Report Hindsight More Like 20/80
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Top ophthalmologists announced this week that hindsight, long thought to be 20/20, is actually much closer to 20/80. “This is...
Fearless Neurologist Attempts to Order Brain Stem Biopsy Via EHR
ST. LOUIS, MO - It was Tuesday morning in the middle of rounds when local bad boy neurologist, Dr. Chinstrap, felt his next stroke...
Peyton Manning No Longer Has The Arm Strength to Deliver Papa John’s Pizzas
DENVER, CO - According to Denver Broncos team doctors, aging 39-year-old quarterback Peyton Manning’s arm strength has significantly diminished to the point where he...
What Kind of Older Hospitalized Patient Do You Want to Be?
Fellow health care professionals, let’s face it: We’re all going to grow old and die. We’re all going to be hospitalized at some point,...
Tips: How to Perform a Spinal Tap on a Moving Train
I have to admit: spinal taps (lumbar punctures) are not one of my favorite procedures to perform. I’m fairly certain our patients don’t enjoy...
Surgery on a Grape: Behind the Drapes
By now, everyone has seen the videos of the da Vinci robotic surgery system being used to skin a grape, and the memes that...
These Two Dudes Caught, Reign of Terror Over
ST. LOUIS, MO – America’s most popular unsolved mystery, the mystery case of two individuals who team up to shoot, beat, and steal from many...