Introducing the ‘Dude-Vinci,’ The 1st Robot for Orthopedic Surgery
DAYTON, OH - A cutting-edge surgical robot has been approved by the FDA and purchased for use in the orthopedic suite at a local...
Normal Saline vs. Lactated Ringer’s: Results of a Phase 3 Randomized Quadruple-Blind Clinical Water...
BACKGROUND: The superiority of Lactated Ringer’s solution (LR) or normal saline (NS) in fluid resuscitation in a variety of medical and surgical scenarios remains...
Tom Price to Stabilize ACA Marketplaces with Intramedullary Nails
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Secretary of Health & Human Services and former orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has suggested that the best way to stabilize Affordable...
Cardiothoracic Surgeon Consults IT, Tries Turning Heart Off Then Back On Again
Cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Richard White is always willing to collaborate with the health care team so he called St, Francis Hospital’s help desk today...
Pat Sajak, Vanna White to Host New Urologic Game Show, Wheel of Foreskin
CULVER CITY, CA - NBC and the American Urological Association (AUA) have announced that power game-show duo Pat Sajak and Vanna White will be co-hosting a...
FDA Approves First Antibiotic/Male Impotence Drug: Mycoxaflopin
WASHINGTON, DC - The Federal Drug Administration has recently approved the first medication that will combat both bacterial infections and male impotence. Mycoxaflopin, a...
As Nurse Leans In for a Listen, Patient Can Think of No Better Time...
BOSTON, MA - As Nurse Ned Franks leans in with a stethoscope to listen, patient Andy Charles can think of no better time today than right...
Jesus Christ Himself Scheduled to Perform Miracle, Patient Furious with being NPO
Mr. Jacobs’ primary team was thrilled when their hospital operator was finally able to get through to Jesus Christ regarding the miracle they were...
Winnie Can’t Pooh, Needs Surgical Intervention
SUSSEX, ENGLAND - In breaking news, Winnie the Pooh can't pooh and is in fact obstructed, necessitating surgical intervention. "Oh, D-D-Dear!" cried Piglet. "I...