Surgery

joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...

Local Hospital Pleased to Offer Natural Surgery

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VASHON ISLAND, WA - A growing number of Americans are attracted to natural and alternative remedies, whether it be Echinacea for colds, shark cartilage for chemotherapy,...

Local Man Really Enjoyed Solar Eclipse

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ATLANTA, GA – It was a scene filled with excitement this morning as millions of people from all over the country ventured outside to observe the...
nice patient endangered species

Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...

Medical Professions as NFL Teams

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Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.   Orthopaedics are the...
da vinci robot

Da Vinci Robots to be Deployed for Snow Shoveling

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Ever get cold shoveling?  Or exhausted?  Maybe it is time to try the daVinci robot shovel.  This fantastic extension for the...
medicine resident

Waiting Room Questionnaires Actually Giant Distraction

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Doctor’s offices around the country use questionnaires and multiple intake-sheets in their offices.  Sometimes filling out these forms can take upwards of 40...
hospital admin paperwork

Administrative Storm Andrew to Bring Six Feet of Paperwork

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BURLINGTON, VT - GomerBlog meteorologists report that the first major healthcare storm of the season, Administrative Storm Andrew, has already unloaded over three feet...
meatball sub

Search-and-Rescue Spots Man’s Penis Under Fourth Panniculus

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CHICAGO, IL - Gomerblog has some exciting news to report: 59-year-old Fred Turntable is crying tears of joy this morning after he was reunited...

Medical Ethics: Magician Orthopedist Elects Not to Saw Patient in Half Due to Conflict...

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LAS VEGAS, NV - In an apparent conflict of interest, orthopedist and amateur magician, Dr. Felipe Ross, elected not to saw his patient in...