Surgery

Medical Ethics: Magician Orthopedist Elects Not to Saw Patient in Half Due to Conflict...

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LAS VEGAS, NV - In an apparent conflict of interest, orthopedist and amateur magician, Dr. Felipe Ross, elected not to saw his patient in...
doctor updating

What Your Doctor or Nurse Means When They Say Your Loved One is ‘Doing...

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The devil is in the details and, for patients and family members, those details can be hard to squeeze out of those shifty doctors...
aorta

Skilled Phlebotomist Draws Blood from Aorta

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NASHVILLE, TN - Warned ahead of time that the patient was a notoriously difficult stick, madly-skilled phlebotomist Mattie Stevenson pulled off a neat little...
wallet aorta

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Hoping He Didn’t Leave Wallet in Guy’s Aorta

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NEW YORK, NY - As cardiothoracic surgeon Timothy Carter sews his patient's sternum closed after successful repair of an ascending aortic aneurysm, he can't help...
water balloon

Normal Saline vs. Lactated Ringer’s: Results of a Phase 3 Randomized Quadruple-Blind Clinical Water...

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BACKGROUND: The superiority of Lactated Ringer’s solution (LR) or normal saline (NS) in fluid resuscitation in a variety of medical and surgical scenarios remains...
embarrassed medical studnet

Medical Student Horrified to Learn Patient Has Normal Sized Phallus

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In a shocking turn of events, third year medical student Dan Rydberg's first day of his urology rotation took a horrific turn this past...
dick prick urologist urology

Breaking News: Local Urologist is a Giant Dick

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NASHVILLE, TN - After examining thousands upon thousands of male genitalia, area urologist Richard Ball-Sax has been called by patients, colleagues, friends, and family...
on call

AMiON Scheduler To Be Replaced With A Simplified Text Saying ‘Yes’

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NEWTON, MA - In a move aimed at reducing operative costs, Spiral software's administrative staff issued a statement according to which AMiON popular scheduler is...
surgeon shoes

Surgeon Recommends Amputation as Means of Improving Weight Loss Outcomes

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Los Angeles-based vascular surgeon Dr. Jackson Dyers has begun recommending that his patients living with obesity undergo above the knee...