Surgery

brain stem biopsy

Fearless Neurologist Attempts to Order Brain Stem Biopsy Via EHR

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ST. LOUIS, MO - It was Tuesday morning in the middle of rounds when local bad boy neurologist, Dr. Chinstrap, felt his next stroke...

Lazy Eye Not Even Trying to See

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TALLAHASSEE, FL – In an embarrassing show of pure slothfulness, the right eye of 28-year-old Christopher Chang has become so lazy that it won’t...
abdominal pain

Hospitalist Becomes Own Endless Loop

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In a stunning procession of events, nocturnist Angus "Kilty" McSwagger became the only known hospitalist to experience the so-called "admission mirror paradox."  Long speculated...
quitting medicine

Doctor Achieves Lifelong Dream of Quitting Medicine Forever

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“Finally!” he exclaimed, throwing his white coat, scrubs, and stethoscope onto a pile of logs. “I can’t believe I made it!” Meet Hunter McCutchen.  He...
voice recognition

New Voice Recognition Software ‘Dragroan’ to Dictate Physicians’ Exasperated Groans & Sighs

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SILICON VALLEY, CA – Speech recognition software company Dragon, used by doctors and other professionals worldwide for transcription, announced the launch of a new...
fire hydrant, priapism

Tired Urologist Mistakes Fire Hydrant for Man with Priapism

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SPRUCE PINE, NC - "Wow, I feel like an idiot," said urologist Jason Breckinridge as a crowd surrounded him on the street.  Breckinridge is...
menu book

Book of Delivery Menus Missing, 20 Night Nurses & Doctors Die of Hunger

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AUGUSTA, GA - Medical personnel, patients, and families at Augusta Medical Center (AMC) are in mourning this morning as 20 night nurses and physicians...
medical gauze

This Day in Medical History: Patient Bled to Death When Only a 3 x...

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THIS DAY IN MEDICAL HISTORY, 1917 - Patient Joseph Hails suffered from a wound that was exactly 4 inches by 4 inches.  His injury wasn’t unique,...

Breaking: Surgeon Asks Anesthesia to Lower His Tray Table

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DELTA 291 - Citing numerous reasons why he couldn't perform the maneuver by himself, passenger and general surgeon Richard Patton has asked Anesthesia to lower his tray table...