Surgery

Ancef pump

Orthopod Caught Auscultating Ancef Pump

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ATLANTA, GA - "Shhh," orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley told befuddled onlookers as he used a stethoscope (or, as he puts it, "a mini jump rope") to...
Navy all hands on dick

Emergency: Navy Urologist Calls Out ‘All Hands on Dick!’

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NORFOLK, VA - Realizing that this simple procedure was taking a turn for the worst and giving him more than he can handle, Navy urologist...
decapitation

Stricter Operating Room Attire Policy Now Calls for Decapitation

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - After extensive evidence-based research, recent updates to the hospital policy for OR hats and attire were released at the staff...

Orthopod Has Near-Death Experience Until Internist Responds to Call for Doctor Mid-Flight

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SOMEWHERE OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN - Dr. Brock Hammersley felt nauseated and sweaty and experienced the feeling of an elephant sitting on his chest with...

‘Those Other Doctors’ Don’t Exist

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EAST ST. LOUIS, MO - GomerBlog is bringing you the biggest story since police in St. Louis apprehended these two guys.  You know the type: thugs...

Surgeons Remove Penis, Sex Toy Saved

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NEW YORK, NY - Surgeons at University Hospital of Manhattan have performed a remarkable surgery on an unnamed male patient who presented to the Emergency Department...
atls by medical specialty

Do You Know Your ABCs by Subspecialty?

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CHICAGO, IL – The American College of Surgeons (ACS) released new subspecialty-focused primary survey guidelines for Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS) this week after...
pot of coffee

Maroon 5 Admitted to Hospital with 5 Maroon Stools

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Maroon 5 is hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center after collectively experiencing 5 maroon-colored stools, including lead singer and NBC’s The...

Breaking News: Da Vinci Robot Becomes Sentient, Terrorizes City

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NEW YORK, NY - In breaking news, NYU's da Vinci Surgical Robot became sentient earlier this morning and started to rebel against its human masters. "It's...
operating room

Surgeons Demand OR Be Changed to Operating Department

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SEATTLE, WA - In today’s competitive healthcare market, public perspectives are critical to manage.  Accordingly, emergency physicians have demanded a change of the term...