Surgery

23 Million Americans Watch Royal Wedding, No Decline In Patient Care Among ROAD Docs...

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With the estimation that 23 million Americans had their eyes glued to the television to watch the royal wedding of Meghan Markle and Prince...

CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby...
doctors and administrators clapping

Hospital Administrators Think High Healthcare Costs Fixed by Hiring More Hospital Administrators

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WASHINGTON, DC - CEOs of major US hospitals are breaking their silence and coming out in favor of hiring more hospital administrators.  CEO of...

General Surgery Intern Contaminates Sterile Field with Tears

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SAN DIEGO, CA - In what is believed to be a first-time occurrence, general surgery intern Crabby Boots cried during an open hernia repair...

American Board of General Surgery to Add Section on Barbering

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The governing body of General Surgery has announced in a press release that "barbering" would be added as a requirement for certification.  This in...
paper cut level VIII trauma center

Level VIII Trauma Center Can Only Take Care of Paper Cuts Really

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SANDERSVILLE, GA - Sandersville Medical Center, a recently-opened Level VIII Trauma Center located two hours southwest of Atlanta, barely has any resources whatsoever and...
bartender

The Epic EHR Bartender

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Patron: I’d like a beer. Epic: Wait until I log on… (30 seconds) Welcome to Hyperspace! Patron: I’d like a beer. Epic: Pick from this list. Patron: Hmm…...
transurethral resection of the colon

Urologist Performs World’s First Successful Transurethral Resection of the Colon

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CLEVELAND, OH - Renowned Cleveland Clinic urologist Dr. Jebron Lames has made history today by performing the world's first successful transurethral resection of the...
ams

2015 Guidelines for Altered Mental Status Published

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The American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has updated their guidelines for managing altered mental status (AMS) patients coming into the emergency department.
trauma pumpkin

Halloween Pumpkin Carving Scenes at the Hospital: Updated

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PUMPKINVILLE, PATCH, U.S.A. - Look at these pumkins that were admitted to the hospital! OR maybe  medical professionals with a warped sense of humor,...