October 16, 2015: National Toss Your Pager in the Trash Day
Finally. Pagers are on their way out for good!
To the delight of physicians, physician assistants, nurse practitioners, nurses, and any other health care provider who...
Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...
Surgeon Time Finally Debunked with New App
"How much longer?" anesthesia will ask. "Only about an hour or so," a typical surgeon might answer. Then anesthesia is forced to ask themselves,...
Unprepared Patient Cramming for Tomorrow’s Rectal Exam
AUBURN, AL - Forever the procrastinator, nervous and unprepared patient Johnny Sanders has started cramming for tomorrow's rectal exam in the hopes he can...
Female Surgery Resident Reliant on VA Harassment for Affirmation
LOCAL VA HOSPITAL - In what has been deemed a natural progression of surgical training, local resident Sara Lowell now counts on her interactions with patient...
Breaking: Winning Word at Ortho Spelling Bee is “WBAT”
TIBIAL PLAINS, PA - Defeating over 300 of the country’s best-spelling orthopods, Jimmy “Jackhammer” Jameson has claimed the coveted title of American Ortho Spelling Bee...
Restaurant Patrons Sickened After Eavesdropping on Medical Professionals During Meal
HAMDEN, CT - It was a chaotic scene at the local 24-hour diner as a mass casualty incident (MCI) requiring the response of multiple...
Breaking: Medical Student Cuts Surgical Knot Too Short
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Medical student Dan Richards was disciplined Thursday for cutting a surgical knot "too short" during a skin closure.
"The surgeon told me...
Medical Researcher Belatedly Realizes His Paper Was Published in The Anals of Internal Medicine
DES MOINES, IA – With dawning horror, local medical researcher Dr. Clint Malloy realized he had been mistaken to believe his recent paper was accepted...
Differentiating ACLs from ACLS: A Primer
GLOBO GYM, MA - Like most orthopods, I know a lot about ACLs. Unfortunately, I’m also required to take ACLS biennially. When my schedule...