Surface of Mercury Less Toxic Than Hospital Work Environment
WASHINGTON, DC - Scientists at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) have analyzed data suggesting that the surface of Mercury, though not suitable for...
Podiatrists Admit They’re Not Really Examining Patients, Just Tickling Them
TOEJAM LAKE, CA - At the 23rd annual National Podiatric Conference on Bunions, the board of directors voted 5-4 to admit what the public...
97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets
BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...
Boring PowerPoints New Leading Cause of Death Among Health Care Practitioners
ATLANTA, GA - A new study published in the latest issue of the Journal of Small Font & Uninteresting Topics (JSFUT) revealed that sinfully...
Crooked Hillary Actually Suffering From Severe Scoliosis
CHAPPAQUA, NY - Former Democratic Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton’s Spine Surgeon today revealed that President Donald Trump’s calling her “Crooked Hillary” on the campaign...
General Surgeon Moves Clinic to Operating Room, Cites Excessive Patient Consciousness
CEDAR RAPIDS, IA – Jacob Townsend, a 53-year-old general surgeon, has decided to permanently move his clinic to the operating room due to ongoing...
Forget Sheep: Orthopod Counts Bones to Fall Asleep Each Night
MUSCLE SHOALS, AL - Calling the domesticated ruminant animal too soft and fluffy for her liking, area orthopedic surgeon Dr. Tracey Hammerhead prefers counting...
Patient Stuck in Endless ‘Clearance’ Referral Pattern, Hasn’t Had Surgery in 6 Years
Mr. Smith, a 67-year-old man with a fair number of medical problems, has been trying to be medically cleared for an inguinal hernia operation...
New Research Shows Virtual Online BLS/ACLS Course Not Saving Real Lives
PHOENIX, AZ - Although popular with millennials and medical administrators, new research shows that online BLS/ACLS training is not effective at instilling the muscle-memory...
Ophthalmologist Palpates Retina with Finger As Part of Dilated Eye Exam
NORCROSS, GA - Area ophthalmologist Rick Cavalier believes in taking full advantage of dilated pupils during his eye exams, which is why he not...