ACGME to Drop Boards Testing in Favor of NFL-esque Skills Combine
WASHINGTON, DC - The ACGME made a ground-breaking decision last week to stop their decades long practice of medical boards testing. Instead, all 4th-year medical students...
NURSE SUSPENDED FOR WRITING NOTES IN CAPS LOCK
NORFOLK, VA - NURSE AMANDA HAN WAS SUSPENDED EARLY THIS MORNING BY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION FOR THE SAME OFFENSE YET AGAIN: ALWAYS WRITING HER NOTES...
Conversation Starters While Riding in an Elevator with a Patient
Elevator rides can be an awkward time for health care providers who sometimes have to spend up to 3 minutes standing in an enclosed metal...
Unchartered Territory: Doctor Makes Patient NPO After Discharge
DURHAM, NC - Stating that the outside world contains enough variables to make pulmonary aspiration a true and serious risk, hospitalist Mack Reynolds has...
Breaking: Man of Steel Has Subclavian Steal Syndrome
METROPOLIS, US – Superman is back in the hospital at Metropolis Medical Center (MMC). This time he presents with syncope and poor circulation in...
Local Jeweler Proposes with 4-Karat Kidney Stone Ring
COLUMBUS, OH - On a recent romantic trip to the yellow river in Asia, world-renowned jeweler Rocky Ureter of Columbus, Ohio popped the question to his longtime...
ENT Cannot Bear to Watch as Man Picking Nose Tempts Fate
ATLANTA, GA - Sure, otolaryngologist Eric Osawa was trying to enjoy his day off today, but has now found himself at a coffee shop looking...
Patients Love New Turkey Sandwich with Dilaudid & Benadryl: The Turlaudidryl Special
NEW ORLEANS, LA - In a brilliant new campaign to improve patient satisfaction scores at the expense of appropriate medical care, hospital administrators and...
Surgeons Declare “Surgery Not Indicated in 2017”
CHICAGO, IL - Close the operating rooms! Surgeons worldwide have declared that "surgery is not indicated in 2017," instead calling this upcoming year "the...
Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves
GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...