Gastroenterologist Paged Record 35 Times While in Restroom
KANSAS CITY, MO - In a stark development it has been reported that earlier this morning during a five-minute bathroom break, Dr. Timothy McFadden, a...
Da Vinci Named TIME Magazine Robot of the Year
For the 10th consecutive year, Da Vinci, the surgery-performing automaton extraordinaire has won TIME magazine’s coveted Robot of the Year award. Many people in...
Journal of Urology to be renamed “Balls”
In a controversial move, the American Urological Association (AUA) has changed the name of their prestigious Journal of Urology to Balls. The unanticipated change...
New Intern Hands Attending Cup of Urine on Rounds
CHICAGO, IL – New medical Intern, Dr. Alexa Friedrich, disappeared after presenting a patient to her attending physician. She has been desperately trying to...
Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score
JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...
Orthopedic Surgeon Creates a Cyborg by Mistake After Replacing Every Joint in the Body
“It wasn’t till my 80-year-old patient told me, 'Hasta la vista, baby,' that I realized that she has been turned into a T-810 by...
ACGME to Drop Boards Testing in Favor of NFL-esque Skills Combine
WASHINGTON, DC - The ACGME made a ground-breaking decision last week to stop their decades long practice of medical boards testing. Instead, all 4th-year medical students...
Female Surgery Resident Reliant on VA Harassment for Affirmation
LOCAL VA HOSPITAL - In what has been deemed a natural progression of surgical training, local resident Sara Lowell now counts on her interactions with patient...
New Policy Mandates Feeding Tube Placement in Surgery Interns
BOSTON, MA - A controversial new policy at a premier surgical training program is turning heads.
Last year, General Surgery Residency Program Director Dr. Philip McCocktosen...
Halloween Pumpkin Carving Scenes at the Hospital: Updated
PUMPKINVILLE, PATCH, U.S.A. - Look at these pumkins that were admitted to the hospital! OR maybe medical professionals with a warped sense of humor,...