Surgery

OR Case Canceled Due to No Remaining Time Outs

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The first case of the day at Saint Methodist Maplewood hospital was canceled due to no remaining time outs prior to incision. Circulator, Renee Count...

Doctor, Patient Miscommunicate: Doc Recommends Mayo Clinic, Patient Unfortunately Hears “Mayo Colonic”

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ROCHESTER, MN—Patients don’t always comprehend what their doctors tell them whether it’s due to language barriers, hearing difficulties or the use of complex medical...
surgeon operating

Surgeons to operate 6 feet away from patient in operating room

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Per compliance with "social distancing," all OR staff will now stand 6 feet away from each other, including 6 feet away from the patient. Neurosurgeon...
doc mcstuffins

Reality Star Doc McStuffins Opens Up About Physician Burnout

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ALBANY, NY - A stack of unfinished charts.  Overturned juice boxes.  An exhausted young physician, asleep on her desk, is awoken suddenly by her...

Oh No! Orthopedic Surgeon Got Plowed into a Snowbank

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FARGO, ND - A tragedy hit the Fargo area when Sanford Medical Center learned one of their orthopedic surgeons was plowed into a snowbank. "This is...
colonoscopy

Hamburglar Diagnosed with Colon Cancer

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MCDONALDLAND - In sad news today, the Hamburglar, who amused children for years with his antics and unstoppable desire for hamburgers, was diagnosed with...
recto-retriever

Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use

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COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever.  The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that...
urine catheter

Forgot-to-Pee Syndrome Afflicting Millions of Health Care Workers

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Journal of the American National Society, Committee, and Association of Urinary Retention and Other Things Too (JANSCAUROTT) estimates that nearly...
second thoughts Da Vinci OB-GYN

Pregnant Mother Having Second Thoughts About Da Vinci as Her OB/GYN

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NEW YORK, NY - “It dawned on me as I had my legs apart and Da Vinci loomed over me with his intimidating red...
Rosie, Da Vinci

Da Vinci & Rosie from The Jetsons are Dating!!

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ORBIT CITY - In exciting news from Orbit Medical Center (OMC), the Jetsons' household robot, Rosie the Maid, was seen spotted with her new...