TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports
ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with...
AMiON Scheduler To Be Replaced With A Simplified Text Saying ‘Yes’
NEWTON, MA - In a move aimed at reducing operative costs, Spiral software's administrative staff issued a statement according to which AMiON popular scheduler is...
Pregnant Mother Having Second Thoughts About Da Vinci as Her OB/GYN
NEW YORK, NY - “It dawned on me as I had my legs apart and Da Vinci loomed over me with his intimidating red...
Da Vinci Will Be Key in Defeating COVID-19, Says No One
CHICAGO, IL - "Da Vinci will be key in defeating COVID-19," says no one in response to the United States' current uphill battle against...
Medical Ethics: Magician Orthopedist Elects Not to Saw Patient in Half Due to Conflict...
LAS VEGAS, NV - In an apparent conflict of interest, orthopedist and amateur magician, Dr. Felipe Ross, elected not to saw his patient in...
Ortho Consults Medicine to See if It’s Spelled Orthopedics or Orthopaedics
BOSTON, MA - Unable to settle a decades-long debate amongst themselves, orthopods at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) have swallowed their pride and consulted their...
Man with Frog in Throat Also Has Tadpoles in Scrotum
HICKORY, NC - Jerry Thompson has been dealing with a hoarse voice over the past week, something not uncommon as temperatures cool with the...
Hospital’s ‘Take Your Daughter to Work’ Day Not Such a Good Idea
ST. LOUIS, MO - Hepatobiliary surgeon Dr. Jeanne Devereux was disappointed. "How hard could it be?!" she fumed. "Just hold the damn retractor and...
Breaking: Halo’s Master Chief Placed in Halo to Immobilize C-Spine
EARTH - Gomerblog has learned in its time travel to the 26th century that Halo hero and Spartan super soldier Master Chief has been...