Surgery

Scooter Harvest Ride for Organ Donation

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NASHVILLE, TN--The United Network for Organ Sharing announced today plans to unroll 500 dockless electric scooters for ride sharing purposes in major metropolitan cities...
medical students

Optimistic, Bright-Eyed Med Students Eager to Transform into Jaded, Burned-Out Physicians

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ATLANTA, GA - Like a caterpillar ready to mature into a beautiful butterfly, bright-eyed graduating medical students across the nation are eager to begin...
UberGURNEY

Uber Offers In-Hospital Patient Transport with UberGURNEY

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Uber’s success knows no bounds. After infiltrating cities across the world with their groundbreaking online-based transportation service, Uber is infiltrating...
beginning runners pages tPA

Psychiatric Trauma Code Successfully Implemented

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ALAMEDA COUNTY MEDICAL CENTER - Following the model set by their colleagues in Trauma Surgery and Emergency Medicine, the Psychiatry Department has implemented a new...
Foley, bloodbath

Patient Can’t Wait to Yank Out Foley, Cause Bloodbath

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ATLANTA, GA - In exciting news today, patient Arnold Starks has announced that later today he will yank out his Foley with "full force...
doctor on computer

Alternate Phrases for “This is a Very Pleasant…”

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It’s not uncommon to start a history of present illness (HPI), assessment, or discharge summary with the following phrase: This is a very pleasant…...
cervical spine

Medical Student Dislocates C-Spine Due to Overzealous Nodding

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BOSTON, MA - Medical students are being warned after James Pharrier, a 22-year-old student at University Medicale, suffered an atlanto-occipital joint dislocation upon over-zealously...
standardized patient

Breaking: Standardized Patient Leaves AMA

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TALLAHASSEE, FL - Standardized patient Lily Huron has left against medical advice (AMA) once she game to grips that none of these medical students...
intern thumb sucking

July Interns Play Crucial Role During Cardiac Arrest by Whimpering, Sucking Own Thumb

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ROCKFORD, IL - Fresh-faced July intern Becky Anderson proved to be the most crucial health care provider present during a cardiopulmonary arrest called at...
eyeball retina

Ophthalmologist Palpates Retina with Finger As Part of Dilated Eye Exam

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NORCROSS, GA - Area ophthalmologist Rick Cavalier believes in taking full advantage of dilated pupils during his eye exams, which is why he not...