Patients Love New Turkey Sandwich with Dilaudid & Benadryl: The Turlaudidryl Special
NEW ORLEANS, LA - In a brilliant new campaign to improve patient satisfaction scores at the expense of appropriate medical care, hospital administrators and...
Flint’s Water is Corrosive and Full of Lead: What Do You Think?
Flint Michigan's water has been full of lead since 2014, just recently they declared it to be a national emergency. What are the medical...
Tom Brady Suffers Congestive Arm Failure
Foxborough, MA - In a shocking development that could spell the end of his storied football career, Tom Brady developed acute congestive arm failure...
Particularly Rough Night on Inpatient Psych Ward Inspired Angry Turds Game Franchise
BENTONVILLE, AR - In a classic example of art imitating life, a disgruntled inpatient psychiatric nurse created the now famous Angry Turds franchise of...
Area Emergency Physician Successfully Manages Gout Without Consultation
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Confetti is raining down from the ceilings as emergency medicine physician Deion Gnosis is being congratulated for diagnosing and...
Fourth-Year Medical School Rotations, Here’s the Gouge
As third-year medical students begin to think about scheduling for next year, they must carefully consider how to arrange their final, and arguably most...
How to Put on a Contact Isolation Gown
If you've never done it before, putting on a contact isolation gown can be quite tricky. It might be easier to put on a...
Donald Trump’s Orange Complexion Due To ChloraPrep From Last Plastic Surgery
WASHINGTON, D.C - The U.S. Surgeon General accidentally revealed in a recent interview that President Trump’s skin tone is actually a normal shade of...
Wishing ‘Break a Leg!’ Increases Risk of Femur Fracture by 85%
ROSEMONT, IL - The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons reports that the theatrical superstition of wishing good luck to stage performers in the form of the...
American Board of Surgery Replaces Qualifying & Certifying Exams with Board Game Operation
PHILADELPHIA, PA - In stark contrast to the recent stringent and controversial criteria for Maintenance of Certification (MOC) set by the American Board of...