Sign Out: Patient Just Needs a Little TLC
ATLANTA, GA - A patient is transferring out of the medical intensive care unit today and, according to the MICU team, "just needs a...
General Surgery Intern Contaminates Sterile Field with Tears
SAN DIEGO, CA - In what is believed to be a first-time occurrence, general surgery intern Crabby Boots cried during an open hernia repair...
Medical Student Discovers Niche in Surgery as Edward Retractor Hands
MADISON, WI - "That’s not my real name, but it works," stated Jimmy M. Smith, a third-year medical student from UW Madison Medical School. The...
Anesthesiologist General Requests Senate Democrats Continue to Perform all Presidential Blocks
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a move sure to frustrate the President, Anesthesiologist General Dr. Jerome Adams has decided that he will not perform any...
Orthopod Has Near-Death Experience Until Internist Responds to Call for Doctor Mid-Flight
SOMEWHERE OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN - Dr. Brock Hammersley felt nauseated and sweaty and experienced the feeling of an elephant sitting on his chest with...
Fisher Price to Add Thoracotomy Tools To Medical Kit for 2019
EAST AURORA, NY - In a press release, Fisher Price has said that the children's toy brand will add thoracotomy tools to its popular...
Voluven to Make Comeback as an Axillary Roll
NEWCASTLE, AUSTRALIA - The end seemed nigh for Voluven. The volume expander has been on the ropes after large clinical trials demonstrated increased risks...
Trojan Releases New ‘Bare Skin’ Surgical Gloves
In an effort to diversify their market share, Trojan has unveiled a new line of “Bare Skin” surgical gloves aimed to maximize the surgeon’s...
Mid-Case and Looking for a Workout, Orthopod Asks Scrub Tech for Dumbbells
LOS ANGELES, CA - Realizing that this little-old lady's hip replacement wasn't giving him the adequate workout and reps he needed, orthopedic surgeon Brock...
Hospital Opens Bar, All Healthcare Problems Solved
MINEOLA, NY - Some ideas are so revolutionary, they can only be conceived in a stroke of genius. Such is the case with Northrop...