Surgery

[Video] Da Vinci’s Monster Jam Helps Cavs in Must-Win Game

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CLEVELAND, OH - The Cavs suited up their secret weapon on Saturday: the Da Vinci robot.  In his only appearance, Da Vinci James' performance...
chloraprep

Donald Trump’s Orange Complexion Due To ChloraPrep From Last Plastic Surgery

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WASHINGTON, D.C - The U.S. Surgeon General accidentally revealed in a recent interview that President Trump’s skin tone is actually a normal shade of...

Nursing Student Enters OR Without Shoe Covers: Beatings Commence

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WARWICK, RI - The student nurse stared nervously at the blood-red line bisecting the hallway.  Scrub hat and surgical mask, check.  Full breakfast and...

If Elected President, Dr. Ben Carson Plans to Continue Use of PAs & Impenetrable...

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BALTIMORE, MD - Dr. Ben Carson’s campaign for President is gaining steam, so much so that last week his physician assistant spokesperson needed to...
wheelchair

Surgeon Takes Clinic Patient Home to Avoid 30-Day Readmission

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BOSTON, MA - Dr. Johnny NoSleep, a local vascular surgeon, was sailing his way through his Friday afternoon post-op clinic until he was derailed...
menu book

Book of Delivery Menus Missing, 20 Night Nurses & Doctors Die of Hunger

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AUGUSTA, GA - Medical personnel, patients, and families at Augusta Medical Center (AMC) are in mourning this morning as 20 night nurses and physicians...
Scrubs

Body Image Issues Linked to Color-Coded Hospital Scrubs Size

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PALO ALTO, CA - Scrubs are fairly shapeless.  If you can discern shapes, the wearer is likely pregnant or wearing the wrong size.  The ultimate...
Messi

Copa America: Da Vinci with Brilliant Save on Messi

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SEATTLE, WA - In the 68th minute, Argentina's Lionel Messi dribbled past three defenders and unleashed a shot from point-blank range.  But the Da Vinci...

Hospital Rat Mistaken for Pokémon

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CHICAGO, IL - Northwestern University Hospital had a false alarm Saturday, where several employees mistook a hospital rat for a rare Pokémon.  "I was...

Surgeon Struggles to Carve Turkey at Thanksgiving

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DES MOINES, IA - Thanksgiving has finally arrived and is in full swing across the country.  Millions of dysfunctional families get together for a celebration...