Surgeons Declare “Surgery Not Indicated in 2017”
CHICAGO, IL - Close the operating rooms! Surgeons worldwide have declared that "surgery is not indicated in 2017," instead calling this upcoming year "the...
Santa Sporting Trim New Figure After Successful Gastric Bypass
NORTH POLE, CANADA - Reports are coming in from all over the North Pole that Santa Claus is sporting a svelte new physique this Christmas...
Fisher Price to Add Thoracotomy Tools To Medical Kit for 2019
EAST AURORA, NY - In a press release, Fisher Price has said that the children's toy brand will add thoracotomy tools to its popular...
Uber Offers In-Hospital Patient Transport with UberGURNEY
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Uber’s success knows no bounds. After infiltrating cities across the world with their groundbreaking online-based transportation service, Uber is infiltrating...
How Many Different Hats Can a Medical Provider Wear?
It's not uncommon in modern medicine for any given health care provider, whether it's a nurse, PA, or doctor, to have multiple roles or...
Boring PowerPoints New Leading Cause of Death Among Health Care Practitioners
ATLANTA, GA - A new study published in the latest issue of the Journal of Small Font & Uninteresting Topics (JSFUT) revealed that sinfully...
Jealous of Surgeons’ Da Vinci, Anesthesia Demands Robot of Their Own
KEARNEY, NE - Growing increasingly dissatisfied with the benefits of a automaton and robotics enjoyed by their colleagues on the other side of the...
Interventional Radiology Performs CT-Guided Chart Biopsy
RICHMOND, VA - History was made yesterday at Richmond Medical Center, as an interventional radiology (IR) team led by Dr. John Johnston-Johnson performed the...
Clinic Nurse and Doctor Suffer Burnout, Spontaneously Combust
MIAMI, FL - Staff at Miami Health Clinic are mourning the loss of two well-loved and respected colleagues, Nurse Michelle Boosh and Dr. George...
New Study Demonstrates Average Penis Size to be 5.4 Inches
BOSTON, MA - A new study conducted by the National Urological Association enrolled over 25,000 males of all races to measure flaccid and erect penis...