Surgery

American Board of General Surgery to Add Section on Barbering

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The governing body of General Surgery has announced in a press release that "barbering" would be added as a requirement for certification.  This in...

Orthopaedic Surgeon Contributes More Than Just Chest Compressions During Code Blue

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NAPLES, ITALY - During a Code Blue today at Naples General Hospital, staff orthopaedic surgeon and biceps aficionado Bryan Wonton shocked those running the...
Turlaudidryl, BDT

Patients Love New Turkey Sandwich with Dilaudid & Benadryl: The Turlaudidryl Special

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - In a brilliant new campaign to improve patient satisfaction scores at the expense of appropriate medical care, hospital administrators and...

Breaking: Surgeon Asks Anesthesia to Lower His Tray Table

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DELTA 291 - Citing numerous reasons why he couldn't perform the maneuver by himself, passenger and general surgeon Richard Patton has asked Anesthesia to lower his tray table...
Super Mario 27 Bones

Breaking Bricks No More: Mario Shatters All 27 Bones in Left Hand

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WORLD 3-2 - It looks like the cumulative lifetime effect of punching bricks has finally caught up to our favorite plumber: In an attempt...
eye chart, visual acuity

Letter ‘T’ to Take Top Spot on Snellen, ‘E’ Demoted

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BOSTON, MA - In shocking news delivered earlier today, the incumbent letter E has been demoted from its top spot on the Snellen eye chart and...
Landau

Lab Coats Now Available in Brand New Colors

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MEMPHIS, TN - Like the stethoscope, the white lab coat has not only been a magnet for bodily fluids and random food products, but...
sheep

Forget Sheep: Orthopod Counts Bones to Fall Asleep Each Night

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MUSCLE SHOALS, AL - Calling the domesticated ruminant animal too soft and fluffy for her liking, area orthopedic surgeon Dr. Tracey Hammerhead prefers counting...

Hospitals forced to tap their strategic reserves of breast augmentation supplies

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For the past several weeks, the Covid 19 pandemic has had a devastating affect on the citizens of the entire world. No one has...
Tom Brady Super Bowl LII amputate hand

Sportsmanship FTW! Eagles’ Doc Offers to Amputate Brady’s Injured Hand Before Super Bowl LII

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - In a true show of sportsmanship towards the New England Patriots ahead of their February 4 date at Super Bowl LII...