Surgery

potato peeler

Op Note Reveals Surgery Performed Using Kitchen Utensils

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Surgeons, internists, and health care practitioners alike are stunned by a recent operative or op note left by podiatrist Tony...

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

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If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and...
once upon a time

ID’s Epic Consult Note Starts with “Once Upon a Time”

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ALBANY, NY - A primary medical team at Albany Medical Center (AMC) is bracing themselves for the worst, as Infectious Diseases (ID) has just...
absolute zero Kelvin

Breaking: Surgeon Sets OR Temperature to Absolute Zero (-273.15° Celsius)

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MIAMI, FL - General surgeon Thomas Rauch has entered into the Surgery Hall of Fame (SHOF) today after setting the temperature in his operating...
therapeutic hypothermia

Increased Consults for ‘Cold Extremities’ Occurring During Snowstorm, ER Docs Puzzled

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JERSEY CITY, NJ - A shortage of vascular surgeons has been discovered in the north- east due to an absurd amount a vascular consults...
laughter best medicine Ativan

Breaking: Ativan is the Best Medicine, Laughter Falls to Sixth

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BOSTON, MA - Is laughter the best medicine?  Not any more.  According to a new poll of physicians and other medical providers published in the New England...
femurs

Orthopod Uses Patient’s Femurs to Play the Drums

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Orthopedic surgeon Jake Crusher came home today supremely excited: it was his day off and he just bought a brand new...

Ask a Drug Seeker

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Dear Drug Seeker, I’m really concerned about the Zika virus and the Summer Olympics going on as scheduled. Do you think this is a good...

Lazy Eye Not Even Trying to See

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TALLAHASSEE, FL – In an embarrassing show of pure slothfulness, the right eye of 28-year-old Christopher Chang has become so lazy that it won’t...
resignation letter for hospital

How to Write a Resignation Letter & Burn As Many Bridges As Possible

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With burnout at a record high and no signs of improvement in sight, there will be an increasing need for letters of resignation.  But...