‘Toodles’ Purchased from Disney by Medtronic, OR Complications Hit All-Time Low
ORLANDO, CA - Medical device giant Medtronic pulled off a risky, but fatefully brilliant move recently. For $1.2 billion dollars, the company purchased the...
Rangers Fan with Seats in Nosebleeds Exsanguinates from Epistaxis
NEW YORK, NY - Gomerblog is sad to report that 68-year-old lifelong Rangers fan, Michael Richter, unfortunately passed away midway through the third period of...
Video Gamer Unlocks Da Vinci on Original Mortal Kombat
Nearly 25 years after its creation, professional video gamer Prasanth Malhotra has unearthed a never-before-seen character in the original Mortal Kombat: the Da Vinci surgical robot....
Hospital Publishes 6 Patient Guidelines: ‘Please Try Not to Confuse Us with a Hotel’
Here at Outside Hospital (OSH), we are 100% committed to your satisfaction as a patient. To this end, we have created this pamphlet, which...
Ortho Throws Vanc at Infected Total Knee, Misses and Breaks Window
YUCAIPA, CA - The Inland Empire of California has long been known as the Wild West of Medicine where board certified surgeons are as...
Nice Work, Brah: Ortho Note Mentions Horizontal Nystagmus
BOSTON, MA - Hospitalists, neurologists, and neurosurgeons at Massachusetts Specific Hospital in Boston were dumbfounded this morning when they found that a note by...
Orthopedic Surgeon Accidentally Intubates Patient in OR
MANSFIELD, OH - In a bizarre reversal of fate, a local orthopaedic surgeon accidentally inserted an endotracheal tube into a patient’s airway while draping...
Ortho Consulted to Repair Broken Wishbone
NASHVILLE, TN - Orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley was consulted last night after the wishbone of an 18-lb. turkey was shattered by two members of the...
Breaking: Surgeon Removes Perforated Appendix from Textbook
NASHVILLE, TN - A general surgeon at Vanderbilt University, Dr. James Cavalier, has successfully removed an inflamed and perforated appendix from his copy of...
Anesthesiologists Now Required by Law to Scratch Itching Surgeons During Operations
BOCA RATON, FL - The longstanding practice of anesthesiologists having to scratch surgeons in the operating room has now become codified into law. Effective next...