Surgery

Local Medical Student Struggles to Explain His Eagerness to Place Foley Catheter on Male...

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ANN ARBOR, MI - Local medical student Dan S. started his first rotation today in Surgery.  “I woke up at 2:45 am arrived at...

Lazy Eye Not Even Trying to See

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TALLAHASSEE, FL – In an embarrassing show of pure slothfulness, the right eye of 28-year-old Christopher Chang has become so lazy that it won’t...

New Hospital Beds Harder to Figure Out Than Acid-Base

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NASHVILLE, TN - Medical staff at Nashville Memorial Hospital are completely baffled by a new fleet of hospital beds on Unit 55-G, saying that...
Bananas

Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to...
medical consults

Tips: How to Suck at Calling Consults

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We all take pride in trying to call in a good consult.  But sometimes you get that feeling.  You know the one.  The one...
pick picks picking brain brains

Neurosurgeon Loves Picking Colleagues’ Brains, Taking Biopsies

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BOSTON, MA - Dr. Ramon Rodriguez is an incredibly brilliant neurosurgeon at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center (BIDMC), and if there's one thing he...

Breaking: 1 in 500 Can’t Smell What The Rock is Cooking

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HAYWARD, CA - The Rock says it all the time: "Can YA SMELL-LALALALALALALLALALA-OWWWWWW what The Rock…. is cooking?!"  But can everyone smell what The...
Stryker drone

Secretary Tom Price Deploys Stryker Drone to Mass Vaccinate America for Flu

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – Fresh off ex-fixing the Washington Monument, new Secretary of Health and Human Services and orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has turned his...
powerpoint presentations

Boring PowerPoints New Leading Cause of Death Among Health Care Practitioners

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ATLANTA, GA - A new study published in the latest issue of the Journal of Small Font & Uninteresting Topics (JSFUT) revealed that sinfully...

Oh No! Orthopedic Surgeon Got Plowed into a Snowbank

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FARGO, ND - A tragedy hit the Fargo area when Sanford Medical Center learned one of their orthopedic surgeons was plowed into a snowbank. "This is...