Surgery

new medical app

Surgeon Time Finally Debunked with New App

49
"How much longer?" anesthesia will ask.  "Only about an hour or so," a typical surgeon might answer.  Then anesthesia is forced to ask themselves,...
hand washing

Researchers: If Washing Hands Won’t Remove All Germs, Blowing Them Off at High Speeds...

1
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Researchers from Harvard University have discovered the reason for high-cost hand dryers in bathrooms all over the United States.  In public...
hypothalamus

Unable to Fix Office Thermostat, Neurosurgeon Removes Own Hypothalamus

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Talk to any health care professional and they'll tell you that self-treatment is not the best idea. However, for one...
surgeons

American College of Surgeons to Publish New “Because I Said So” or BISS-Based Medicine...

0
WASHINGTON, DC - A press release today from the American College of Surgeons stated, “After years of putting up with the satanic nonsense known...
the sun

Health Care Providers Unsure What That Bright Yellow Glowing Orb is in the Sky

19
CHARLESTON, SC - In an eye-opening new study published in the latest issue of JAMA (Just Another Medical Association), researchers at The Medical University...
bloody armpits, bleeding armpits

Woman Not Sure if She’s Using Crutches Correctly

0
TOWSON, MD - A local woman by the name of Mary Ellis, who sustained a fracture of her right medial sesamoid bone during a...
turkey sandwich haldol diets

Know Your Hospital Diets

0
It can be confusing telling apart all those different hospital diets, so here's a primer to break down some of the most common ones. Clear...
hospital admin paperwork

Administrative Storm Andrew to Bring Six Feet of Paperwork

4
BURLINGTON, VT - GomerBlog meteorologists report that the first major healthcare storm of the season, Administrative Storm Andrew, has already unloaded over three feet...

General Surgeon Moves Clinic to Operating Room, Cites Excessive Patient Consciousness

0
CEDAR RAPIDS, IA – Jacob Townsend, a 53-year-old general surgeon, has decided to permanently move his clinic to the operating room due to ongoing...
orthopedic surgeon ortho spelling bee WBAT sticks & stones

Breaking: Ortho Declares War on Sticks & Stones

0
ROSEMONT, IL - The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons (AAOS) has officially declared war on sticks and stones, Gomerblog reports.  “Starting today we formally declare...