Surgery

head ct

3D Head CT: The New Ultimate Selfie

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Smile, smirk, or blow a kiss.  Selfies have been taken to a whole new level with the commercial availability of head CT scans by...

Patient Able to Get Dilaudid Just Before Leaving AMA

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JACKSONVILLE, FL – Michael Redmond - a patient so regular to St. Joseph Hospital’s ER that if he doesn’t show up for a couple days,...
abdomen

Physical Exam Tips: The Abdomen

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Two things are needed for a spectacular abdominal exam: luck and an abdomen.  The following review focuses on different aspects of the abdominal exam,...
Spock Star Trek

Spock: “Patient’s Demands for Dilaudid Highly Illogical”

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STARFLEET - Mr. Spock of the USS Enterprise has informed Gomerblog that he finds his patient's demands for Dilaudid and other narcotics "highly illogical." He confided...
airplane

Federal Aviation Administration’s Checklist-Oriented Outpatient Surgery Center Closes After Every Patient Dies

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WASHINGTON, DC - In what many practicing clinicians have called “not at all surprising” and “what dimwit funded this incredibly stupid idea?” the FAA has...
medical students

Optimistic, Bright-Eyed Med Students Eager to Transform into Jaded, Burned-Out Physicians

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ATLANTA, GA - Like a caterpillar ready to mature into a beautiful butterfly, bright-eyed graduating medical students across the nation are eager to begin...
doctors lent

What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?

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General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine.  “Oh, your tummy hurts?  Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?” Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid.  The screams will...

Anesthesiologists Now Offering Tap from a Ball-Peen Hammer as Natural Option for Sedation

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Under pressure from the Natural Medicine movement, the American Society of Anesthesiologists have discovered a "natural" and "drug-free" approach toward preparing a patient for...
absolute zero Kelvin

Breaking: Surgeon Sets OR Temperature to Absolute Zero (-273.15° Celsius)

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MIAMI, FL - General surgeon Thomas Rauch has entered into the Surgery Hall of Fame (SHOF) today after setting the temperature in his operating...
toliet flushing medications

So You Dropped Your Pager into the Toilet, What to Do Next

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You're on-call, but before sh*t hits the fan, you hit the toilet.  Just when you're pulling up your pants or fixing your belt, you...