Surgery

Da Vinci Named TIME Magazine Robot of the Year

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For the 10th consecutive year, Da Vinci, the surgery-performing automaton extraordinaire has won TIME magazine’s coveted Robot of the Year award.  Many people in...
hospital hallway

General Medicine Floor Smells a Little Less like Death Today

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TUCSON, AZ - Employees of the general medicine floor at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital arrived to work on Monday morning to a unit that smelled...

Psychic Hired to Read Patients’ Minds, Doctor Visit Time Reduced

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BATON ROUGE, LA -- Do you think doctors ask weird questions—like “Do you have any problems with your kidneys?” Or ones that are hard...
lawyer up

Revised ASA Classification Tells You When to Lawyer Up

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  An expert panel comprised of ambulance chasing, blood sucking lawyers and that one snotty dude from med school published a revised ASA physical status...

‘Drama Surgery’ Officially Listed as New Specialty by ACGME

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This fall, fourth-year medical students everywhere are able to apply to a ‘woke’ new specialty: Drama Surgery. “Due to the increasing number of millennials interested...
spay neuter frightened favorite pen

Laparoscopic Training Box Septic After Practice Session with Interns

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An inanimate training apparatus, made up of a plastic box with holes to place a laparoscopic camera and graspers, is in critical condition after...
menu book

Book of Delivery Menus Missing, 20 Night Nurses & Doctors Die of Hunger

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AUGUSTA, GA - Medical personnel, patients, and families at Augusta Medical Center (AMC) are in mourning this morning as 20 night nurses and physicians...

Orthopod Appalled to Learn About Calcium Channel Blockers

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GREEN BAY, WI - Local Orthopaedic surgeon Stan Deverance was at a hospital wide grand rounds last week when he uncovered a nearly unspeakable...

Orthopaedic Surgeon Spends Hours Wandering ICU Bathroom Looking for Pulmonary Toilet

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NEW YORK, NY - When COVID-19 cases in Manhattan started ramping up, local orthopaedic surgeon Brock Hammersley knew he wanted to help however he...
bartender

The Epic EHR Bartender

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Patron: I’d like a beer. Epic: Wait until I log on… (30 seconds) Welcome to Hyperspace! Patron: I’d like a beer. Epic: Pick from this list. Patron: Hmm…...