Surgery

Breaking: Medical Student Faints on Rounds, No One Cares

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - During vascular surgery rounds this morning, a medical student fainted in a patient’s room, and no one cared. “On the vascular...
surgeons operating

Urologist Cannot Find Ureter, Consults OB/GYN

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Dr. Hans Veener, the chief of urology, could not identify the right ureter during a recent surgery at Marion General Hospital.  Shockingly, rather than...
daughter to hospital day

Hospital’s ‘Take Your Daughter to Work’ Day Not Such a Good Idea

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Hepatobiliary surgeon Dr. Jeanne Devereux was disappointed.  "How hard could it be?!" she fumed.  "Just hold the damn retractor and...

Anesthesiologist Tired of Being Called ‘Anesthesia,’ Decides to Talk in 3rd Person with British...

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BOULDER, CO - Dr. Shelly Druben, a practicing anesthesiologist, is tired of being called "anesthesia" by her coworkers in the operating room. "All the nurses and operating...
sprained ankle

The Difference Between RICE & Rice

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Today, we distinguish between another two often-confused entities: RICE and rice. RICE is an acronym that stands for Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation.  RICE is...

Da Vinci Named TIME Magazine Robot of the Year

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For the 10th consecutive year, Da Vinci, the surgery-performing automaton extraordinaire has won TIME magazine’s coveted Robot of the Year award.  Many people in...
surgeon operating

Surgeons to operate 6 feet away from patient in operating room

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Per compliance with "social distancing," all OR staff will now stand 6 feet away from each other, including 6 feet away from the patient. Neurosurgeon...

Spouse of Surgical Resident Charged with Polygamy

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YONKERS, NY - 27-year-old Emily Follingsworth was charged with polygamy yesterday in Yonkers, NY, days after her second wedding.  Follingsworth, a spouse of a fifth-year neurosurgical...
surgeon shoes

Patient Alarmed After Noticing Surgeon’s Shoelace Untied

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MARIETTA, GA - Multiple sources are confirming that local patient Harry Dander is growing increasingly concerned for his upcoming surgery after noticing that his...
Brie Hammersley complete blood loss

Women to be recruited into ortho with promise of no line for bathroom

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The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons has begun a new campaign to entice women to enter a career in orthopaedic surgery. Dr. David Bonaparte,...