Surgery

Badass Surgeon Performs Whipple While in Tuxedo

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AUSTIN, TX - The bar for badassery has been raised a notch, so surgeons take note: veteran general surgeon Bob Cooper has just completed...
OB GYN

Say It Isn’t So: OB Dumps GYN, Now Dating ENT

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - First PT/OT, then Brangelina, now this?!  After centuries together as one of healthcare's power couples, Gomerblog reports that OB/GYN is...

Orthopod Writes a Longer Note Than Hospitalist: Metaphysical Calamity Ensues

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KEARNEY, NE - Fatefully cleaving the time line in two, an orthopedic surgeon at Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) wrote a progress note longer than...
Ancef pump

Orthopod Caught Auscultating Ancef Pump

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ATLANTA, GA - "Shhh," orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley told befuddled onlookers as he used a stethoscope (or, as he puts it, "a mini jump rope") to...

Trojan Develops New Magnum Size Foley Catheters; ‘It’s About Time,’ Say 100% of Surveyed...

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HOUSTON, TX - America’s number one trusted brand for contraception made a bold leap into the medical field today with the launch of Foley...
orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics

Ortho Consults Medicine to See if It’s Spelled Orthopedics or Orthopaedics

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BOSTON, MA - Unable to settle a decades-long debate amongst themselves, orthopods at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) have swallowed their pride and consulted their...
childhood obesity

Thai Cave Divers to Locate Obese Patient’s Genitals

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KEARNEY, NE - With options dwindling, all hopes rest on the heroic divers who saved the boys in Thailand to locate a 600-lb. man’s...
toodles helping in the hospital

‘Toodles’ Purchased from Disney by Medtronic, OR Complications Hit All-Time Low

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ORLANDO, CA - Medical device giant Medtronic pulled off a risky, but fatefully brilliant move recently.  For $1.2 billion dollars, the company purchased the...

HHS Announces New Crack Down on Illicit Cardiac Massage Parlors

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Officials from the Department of Health and Human Services Monday announced a joint operation with Departments of Homeland Security and the...
team doctor

Embarrassing: Team Doctor Rushes Onto Field Without His Stethoscope Again

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DENVER, CO - New York Giants team doctor Scott Rodeo feels like a giant moron as he once again rushed out onto the field...