Surgery

mri scanner

New Super Duper Minimally Invasive Transurethral Aortic Valve Replacement Gaining Popularity

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NEW HAVEN, CT - Patients across the country are calling their doctors at all hours asking to be scheduled for the newest minimally invasive...

Resident Wins Extra Shift for Violating Duty Hours

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Tampa, FL - Calling the eighty hour work week “non-negotiable”, local Program Director Tom Keen was not pleased to learn that one of his...
toodles helping in the hospital

‘Toodles’ Purchased from Disney by Medtronic, OR Complications Hit All-Time Low

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ORLANDO, CA - Medical device giant Medtronic pulled off a risky, but fatefully brilliant move recently.  For $1.2 billion dollars, the company purchased the...

Fisher Price to Add Thoracotomy Tools To Medical Kit for 2019

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EAST AURORA, NY - In a press release, Fisher Price has said that the children's toy brand will add thoracotomy tools to its popular...
boxing gloves

Bickering Chiefs of Medicine & Surgery Sent to the Principal’s Office, Yet Again

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BOSTON, MA - In developing news at Boston Health & Science University, 51-year-old Chief of Medicine Kyle Jones and 53-year-old Chief of Surgery Maya...

Song of the Diverticulite (Morphine on High at 3am)

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All the bickering of which is best The song, the canvass, the word, the marbled stone, The rest Pittance such luxury Lacking any test Pittance yes! Void of existential quest Ver-Sed,...
surgeons operating

Urologist Cannot Find Ureter, Consults OB/GYN

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Dr. Hans Veener, the chief of urology, could not identify the right ureter during a recent surgery at Marion General Hospital.  Shockingly, rather than...

American Red Cross Creates American Brown Cross for Fecal Transplant Donations

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WASHINGTON, DC - Despite increasing clinician awareness and education as well as instituting universal gloving procedures, hospital-associated Clostridium difficile infections have continued to be...