The Epic EHR Bartender
Patron: I’d like a beer.
Epic: Wait until I log on… (30 seconds) Welcome to Hyperspace!
Patron: I’d like a beer.
Epic: Pick from this list.
Patron: Hmm…...
Breaking: Intern Can’t Hold It, Pees on Self
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Unable to speak up and hold his bladder any longer on morning rounds, surgical intern Chris McElroy decided to pee all over...
BREAKING: Ortho Intern is First Hospital Employee to Actually Enjoy Joint Commission Visit
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Hospital administrators are up in arms due to Joint Commission complaints that ortho intern, Seth Sholderson, is impeding the Commission’s ability...
Da Vinci & Rosie from The Jetsons are Dating!!
ORBIT CITY - In exciting news from Orbit Medical Center (OMC), the Jetsons' household robot, Rosie the Maid, was seen spotted with her new...
Breaking: Polar Vortex Blamed on Subzero OR Temperatures
SILVER SPRING, MD - Begging surgeons to keep operating room doors closed as much as possible, the National Weather Service (NWS) has cited the...
Unfortunate Plastic Surgery Leaves Man Nearly Identical To Nicholas Cage
SALEM, OR - The title tells the tale. Oregonian Nate Carthage is now nearly identical to Nicolas Cage after an unfortunate plastic surgery mishap....
Pilot Consults Medicine, Asks if Plane Cleared for Landing
DELTA 240 - Just as he started his descent into Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport after a long transatlantic flight, Captain Jack Wilson asked if "Medicine was...
Anesthesia Resident Finishes Reading Entire Internet During Free Flap Surgery
NEW YORK, NY – John Silk, a fourth-year anesthesiology resident at State Medical Hospital in New York, will now have his name immortalized in...
Operating Room from the 70s Shutting Down, ‘Difficult to Clean’
NEW YORK, NY – Disco isn’t dead, yet. One of the last remaining icons of the great disco movement in NYC still remains in...
U.S. Women’s Relay Team Elects to Use Femur, Not Baton for Handoffs
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - For this week's upcoming track and field event, the USA Track & Field Women's 4x100m Team has announced that it has...