Surgery

wine for surgical prep

VIP Treatment Offers Merlot, Pinot Noir as Surgical Prep

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MILL VALLEY, CA - As hospitals across the country merge into corporate conglomerates, they lose their identity, much like identical Walmarts taking out Mom...

Urologists Recommend Against Buddy Taping for Penile Fractures

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WIENER, AR - Last weekend local man Joseph Peyronie sustained a penile fracture in a tragic mishap involving a lawnmower, a tire swing, and...
anatomy, Independence Day

Patriotic Call Lights, Pagers to Play National Anthem

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WASHINGTON, DC - For those patients and providers in the nation's hospitals today, new special edition patriotic call lights, IV pumps, and pagers are...
laundry

After 25th Stain, Doctor Finally Decides to Wash White Coat

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NEW YORK, NY - Physician Joel Winters had not washed his white coat in over 10 years.  However, after acquiring a 25th stain today...
the sun

Health Care Providers Unsure What That Bright Yellow Glowing Orb is in the Sky

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CHARLESTON, SC - In an eye-opening new study published in the latest issue of JAMA (Just Another Medical Association), researchers at The Medical University...
urethral stent

Frustrated Urologist Designs Obscenity-Screaming Stent

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BOSTON, MA - It started in 2007 when Dr. Ronald Jeremy, a staff urologist, was on his way out the door to the departmental...
Grand Rounds

Breaking: Grand Rounds Not Particularly Grand Today

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Earlier this morning vascular surgeon Dr. Emma Wexler gave Grand Rounds to her fellow colleagues at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.  Unfortunately...
thanksgiving dinner

Neurosurgery Resident Doesn’t Recognize Own Child at Thanksgiving Dinner

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NASHVILLE, TN - Although aware how busy he is, the family of second-year neurosurgery resident Dr. Michael Duke planned a dinner to celebrate Thanksgiving...

Surgeons Remove Penis, Sex Toy Saved

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NEW YORK, NY - Surgeons at University Hospital of Manhattan have performed a remarkable surgery on an unnamed male patient who presented to the Emergency Department...