Bernie Sanders’ Hernia Likely Caused by Strain of Attempting to Lift Up Middle Class
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A source close to the colorectal surgeon who treated Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders for an abdominal hernia this week said...
AMA Announces List of the Top 6 Useless Organs
The Human body is a marvelous biologic machine, adapted to sustain homeostasis in a wide variety of environments. A spectacular coalescence of multiple organs...
Intern Becomes Sentient, Realizes No One Cares About His Med School War Stories
SAN DIEGO, CA – In a shocking display of comprehension, local General Surgery intern Gunner Retractorhölder, realized that his now 15 minute long story...
20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales
ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10...
Patient Sues Surgeon for Removing Wrong Pannus
BOSTON, MA – 56-year-old patient Richard Brambling is fuming after plastic surgeon Dr. Fabio Ricardalsen removed the incorrect pannus. Brambling, not wanting gastric bypass surgery,...
Birds Wondering Why Med Student Leaving for Work So Early
FRONT YARD – When third-year medical student Krista Adams left for the hospital at 4:15 AM this morning, multiple birds in the area were...
Orthopedic Surgeon Arrested for Using Duct Tape to Repair ACLs
PORTSMOUTH, NH - An 8-year investigation ended with a shocking revelation and arrest out of New Hampshire today as orthopedic surgeon Dr. Terrance Ancef-Bonecutt...
Orthopod Uses Patient’s Femurs to Play the Drums
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Orthopedic surgeon Jake Crusher came home today supremely excited: it was his day off and he just bought a brand new...
Homeopathic Burn Remedy Effective, Allopaths Stunned
DENVER, CO - Doctors, skeptics, and the scientific community as a whole, were stunned today when the North American branch of the Society for...
Call Room Bears Striking Resemblance to Medieval Dungeon
DALLAS, TX - Third-year surgical resident Stacy Collins was shocked when she opened the door to her call room and found its striking resemblance...