Surgery

ultrasound

Surgeon Performs In-Utero Tommy John Surgery

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KANSAS CITY – A surgeon in Kansas City reports he has performed the world’s first in-utero Tommy John surgery. A hospital spokesperson states that the...

Medical Researcher Belatedly Realizes His Paper Was Published in The Anals of Internal Medicine

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DES MOINES, IA – With dawning horror, local medical researcher Dr. Clint Malloy realized he had been mistaken to believe his recent paper was accepted...
emoji for orthopedic surgeons interpreted

Orthopaedics to Begin to Use Emojis in Progress Notes

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CHICAGO, IL - In a progressive move by the National Orthopaedic Society of Orthopaedic Surgeons and Orthopaedists (NOSOSO), emojis have now been approved to...
ophthalmologist

Ophthalmologists Found to be “Physically Weakest” of All Specialists

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New research has shed light on which group of physicians are the most physically frail and feeble. Emerging data shows that the top spot...
Nintendo cartridge Super Mario Bros

Man Gives Frozen Nintendo Cartridge 2 Rescue Breaths

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LOS ANGELES, CA - In a desperate attempt to salvage his copy of Super Mario Bros, L.A. native and first-year University of California at Los...
atls by medical specialty

Do You Know Your ABCs by Subspecialty?

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CHICAGO, IL – The American College of Surgeons (ACS) released new subspecialty-focused primary survey guidelines for Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS) this week after...
sleeping in

Trauma Surgeon Looks Forward to Sleeping in Until 5 AM Tomorrow

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SEATTLE, WA - After what has been undoubtedly a very busy week even for what is expected this time of year, Harborview Medical Center trauma...

Headlines from the Week in Medical News

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ROCHESTER, NY - After two-year grant-writing process, associate professor of medicine’s submission to JAMA’s “funny cartoon caption contest” fails peer review process. AKRON, OH -...
Da Vinci

Video Gamer Unlocks Da Vinci on Original Mortal Kombat

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Nearly 25 years after its creation, professional video gamer Prasanth Malhotra has unearthed a never-before-seen character in the original Mortal Kombat: the Da Vinci surgical robot....

Fake News: Tiger Wasn’t Pulled Over for DUI, He Was Post-Call

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PALM BEACH, FL - Reports have surfaced that CNN's original claim that Tiger Woods was arrested for driving under the influence are false.  It...