Jesus Christ Himself Scheduled to Perform Miracle, Patient Furious with being NPO
Mr. Jacobs’ primary team was thrilled when their hospital operator was finally able to get through to Jesus Christ regarding the miracle they were...
Hipster Loses Left Testicle Due to Excessively Tight Pants
WILLIAMSBURG, NY - Hipster Fletcher Jones was admitted to the emergency room last night with numbness and tingling around the groin. The incident occurred...
Doing His Part: Urologist Unveils Telehealth Prostate Exams
With the COVID-19 pandemic threatening to overwhelm healthcare systems, physicians have had to get creative in the ways that they care for patients. Recently,...
‘Arrival’ Heroine, Dr. Louise Banks, Tries to Decipher Wordless Language of Orthopods
MONTANA - After playing a critical role in deciphering the language of the alien squid-like heptopods as chronicled in last year's real-life documentary Arrival,...
Surgeons to operate 6 feet away from patient in operating room
Per compliance with "social distancing," all OR staff will now stand 6 feet away from each other, including 6 feet away from the patient.
Neurosurgeon...
Patient Survives & Beats Level I Trauma Center, Moves On to Level II
ATLANTA, GA - It has been a challenging year for 27-year-old Michael Snead, who broke his right femur in a motorcycle accident 6 months...
3D Head CT: The New Ultimate Selfie
Smile, smirk, or blow a kiss. Selfies have been taken to a whole new level with the commercial availability of head CT scans by...
Texting While Operating Now Illegal in 5 states
SACRAMENTO, CA – On Monday California became the 5th state to ban texting while operating. This new legislation came after Dr. Kenneth Fellet texted...
Orthopedic Library is Actually just a Gym
A detailed undercover investigation has discovered that the orthopedic library is merely just a gym in disguise. The signs should have been obvious...
Prior Authorization Now Requires Prior Authorization
WASHINGTON, DC - Prior authorization - the time-sink, inefficient, and soul-sucking process used by health insurance agencies to determine and eventually deny coverage for...