Surgery

Thousands Dead in Battle Between Ophthalmologists and Optometrists

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WASHINGTON, DC - Thousands of eye care providers were found dead in the streets Monday morning after a vicious battle erupted between ophthalmologists and...

Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results

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BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results....
urine foley catheter

After Super Bowl, Health Care Practitioners Ready to Diurese the Sh*t Out of Everyone

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - With the completion of Super Bowl XLIX so too ends the weekend of Super Bowl parties, celebrations, and unhealthy eating.  It...
Hilton Hospital

New Burger King and Hilton Hospital to Open

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CHICAGO, IL - Burger King and Hilton have merged together and plan to finish construction shortly on a new state of the art hotel,...
white doctor

White Doctors Removed From Endangered Species List After Successful Breeding In Captivity

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a landmark move marking the resounding success of the Caucasian Physician Breeding In Captivity Program (CPBCP), the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service...
pick picks picking brain brains

Neurosurgeons Warn Battle of Wits Carries 20% Risk of Brain Herniation

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ROLLING MEADOWS, IL - Engaging in a battle of wits is associated with, among other things, a 20% risk of brain herniation, this according...
nurse eye roll

Breaking News: Nurse’s Eyes Get Stuck After Aggressive Eye Roll

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ORLANDO, FL - Beth Stanfield, a middle-aged nurse, was transported to the ophthalmology department earlier today when her eyes got stuck in an aggressive...
notes rounding

Surgeon General Consults Hospitalist General for Medical Management

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WASHINGTON, DC - In breaking news, Gomerblog has received word today that the Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy has consulted the...

Ortho Throws Vanc at Infected Total Knee, Misses and Breaks Window

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YUCAIPA, CA - The Inland Empire of California has long been known as the Wild West of Medicine where board certified surgeons are as...
wine pairs

Tips: What Wine Pairs Well with Patients & Helps Me Cope with Them?

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We’ve all been there.  You’re at bedside with your patient and you find yourself stumped on which wine you should drink to best pair...