Miracle on the Hudson: NYC Nurse Lands Foley in 600-Pound Female Patient
HUDSON VALLEY, NY - A miracle occurred on Saturday as Cathy Meyers, night shift RN at Hudson Valley Hospital, found herself staring at the...
Michael Phelps Has a Few Too Many Cupping Marks Near Genitals
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Although Michael Phelps has already drawn attention to the healing technique known as cupping with multiple circular bruises spotted...
Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...
Ophthalmologists Report Hindsight More Like 20/80
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Top ophthalmologists announced this week that hindsight, long thought to be 20/20, is actually much closer to 20/80. “This is...
Federal Aviation Administration’s Checklist-Oriented Outpatient Surgery Center Closes After Every Patient Dies
WASHINGTON, DC - In what many practicing clinicians have called “not at all surprising” and “what dimwit funded this incredibly stupid idea?” the FAA has...
Orthopaedic Surgeons Declared Strongest Species on Earth
GABORONE, BOTSWANA - Inspired by the 2018 World’s Strongest Man competition, local orthopaedic surgeon Jamies Baylee started pondering if there exists a species of...
Local Man Really Enjoyed Solar Eclipse
ATLANTA, GA – It was a scene filled with excitement this morning as millions of people from all over the country ventured outside to observe the...
ICU Team Excited to Untangle Lines After Patient Dropped Off from OR
SAN JOSE, CA - The intensive care unit (ICU) at Holy Cross Hospital is ecstatic to receive an upcoming patient from the operating room who...
Breaking: Potato Sees Ophthalmologist for Yearly Eye Exam
BOISE, ID - America's favorite vegetable, the potato, went for its yearly exam today. "Its five eyes continue to be in good health with perfect...
23 Million Americans Watch Royal Wedding, No Decline In Patient Care Among ROAD Docs...
With the estimation that 23 million Americans had their eyes glued to the television to watch the royal wedding of Meghan Markle and Prince...