HHS Announces New Crack Down on Illicit Cardiac Massage Parlors
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Officials from the Department of Health and Human Services Monday announced a joint operation with Departments of Homeland Security and the...
New General Electric MRI Scanner 20 Times Louder Than Ever
SCHENECTADY, NY - General Electric (GE) plans to revolutionize the course of magnetic resonance (MR) history once more when later this month they introduce...
General Medicine Floor Smells a Little Less like Death Today
TUCSON, AZ - Employees of the general medicine floor at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital arrived to work on Monday morning to a unit that smelled...
Psychiatrist Joins WWE and Puts Opponent in a Mental Health Hold
LUBBOCK, TX – Finally fed up with all the bullying he was receiving from general surgeons, Dr. Froyd abandoned his post as Consultation-Liaison Psychiatrist...
Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes
NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid...
The Medical Professional Development Drinking Game
All health professionals will have to participate in some sort of mandatory professional development from time to time. Whether it’s an organization-wide initiative to...
CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus
ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby...
Da Vinci a Big Help on 14-Hour Flight
UNITED AIRLINES, MID-FLIGHT – Twenty minutes into Flight 156 from Los Angeles to Tokyo, a medical emergency took place. "Do we have a doctor...
ICU Transfer Arrives with Hospital Summary on a Napkin
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - An 83-year-old man was transferred to the University Hospital Critical Care Unit from an outside hospital on Tuesday, with a...
Anesthesiologists Now Required by Law to Scratch Itching Surgeons During Operations
BOCA RATON, FL - The longstanding practice of anesthesiologists having to scratch surgeons in the operating room has now become codified into law. Effective next...