US Men’s Soccer Team Blames Loss to Trinidad On Anesthesia
COUVA, TRINIDAD - The US Men’s National Soccer Team sustained the most disappointing loss in Team history losing to Trinidad and Tobago eliminating them...
Forget Sheep: Orthopod Counts Bones to Fall Asleep Each Night
MUSCLE SHOALS, AL - Calling the domesticated ruminant animal too soft and fluffy for her liking, area orthopedic surgeon Dr. Tracey Hammerhead prefers counting...
Struggling Intern Asking for ‘Just One Hug’
BOSTON, MA - "Just one hug" is all intern Philip Geary is asking, if not BEGGING, from his fellow interns, residents, students, nurses, attendings,...
Anesthesiologist Cancels Case After Hearing Patient is ‘Gassy’
CHARLOTTE, NC - OR 4 at Mercy Hospital was moving “ahead of schedule” according to charge nurse Diane Cingler. “Turns out we are getting...
Bernie Sanders’ Hernia Likely Caused by Strain of Attempting to Lift Up Middle Class
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A source close to the colorectal surgeon who treated Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders for an abdominal hernia this week said...
New General Electric MRI Scanner 20 Times Louder Than Ever
SCHENECTADY, NY - General Electric (GE) plans to revolutionize the course of magnetic resonance (MR) history once more when later this month they introduce...
Orthopedic Surgeon Finds Strange Sound with Stethoscope, Striker Rep Unable to Determine Source of...
PITTSBURGH, PA – Dr. Harry Bonecutter, a prominent orthopedic surgeon at Pittsburgh Health, identified a strange noise emanating from a patient which he could...
TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports
ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with...
Hospital Replaces Anesthesiologists with Voice-Activated OR Tables, Saves Millions
SAN JOSE, CA - In what appears to be a medical first, surgeons at Methodist Northwest Hospital have found that using voice-activated operating room...
Orthopod Places Intramedullary Nail Into Medulla Oblongata
ANN ARBOR, MI - Expanding the possibilities of what can be done in the subspecialty of orthopedic surgery, orthopod Brock Hammersley has placed an...