Surgery

anesthesiologists tone

Rectal Tone of Anesthesiologists Varies with Patients’ Oxygen Saturation

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BERLIN, GERMANY - A new and controversial study out of the esteemed Higginstein Community Surgery Center describes a curious phenomenon regarding rectal tone of anesthesiologists...
davinci robot

Surgeon Uses da Vinci Robot to Craft the Perfect Ham and Cheese Sandwich

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CLEVELAND, OH - After finishing up his cases for the day, an oncological surgeon brought sandwich supplies with him to a vacant operating room...
airplane

Federal Aviation Administration’s Checklist-Oriented Outpatient Surgery Center Closes After Every Patient Dies

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WASHINGTON, DC - In what many practicing clinicians have called “not at all surprising” and “what dimwit funded this incredibly stupid idea?” the FAA has...
sponge bath

New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”

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CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside...
ophthalmology

Ophthalmologists Report Hindsight More Like 20/80

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Top ophthalmologists announced this week that hindsight, long thought to be 20/20, is actually much closer to 20/80.  “This is...

Orthopaedic Surgeon Pays $400,000 to Prevent Son From Matching Into Ophthalmology Residency

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BOSTON, MA - Inspired by the recent college admissions cheating scandal, local Orthopaedic Surgeon Brock Hammersley took matters into his own hands when his...
Master Chief halo

Breaking: Halo’s Master Chief Placed in Halo to Immobilize C-Spine

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EARTH - Gomerblog has learned in its time travel to the 26th century that Halo hero and Spartan super soldier Master Chief has been...
Navy all hands on dick

Emergency: Navy Urologist Calls Out ‘All Hands on Dick!’

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NORFOLK, VA - Realizing that this simple procedure was taking a turn for the worst and giving him more than he can handle, Navy urologist...
ninja in er

Coping with Admissions: The Art of Disguise

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“The 7 Stages of Grief When Faced with an Admission” struck a chord with many of our admitting medical providers out there.  It is...

US Men’s Soccer Team Blames Loss to Trinidad On Anesthesia

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COUVA, TRINIDAD - The US Men’s National Soccer Team sustained the most disappointing loss in Team history losing to Trinidad and Tobago eliminating them...