General Surgeon Moves Clinic to Operating Room, Cites Excessive Patient Consciousness
CEDAR RAPIDS, IA – Jacob Townsend, a 53-year-old general surgeon, has decided to permanently move his clinic to the operating room due to ongoing disruption from patient consciousness. “Allowing my patients to talk about...
Orthopod Writes a Longer Note Than Hospitalist: Metaphysical Calamity Ensues
KEARNEY, NE - Fatefully cleaving the time line in two, an orthopedic surgeon at Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) wrote a progress note longer than the hospitalist. The improbable event triggered an escalating series of...
Surgeon Passes Out Following OR Fentanyl Exposure, Remainder of OR Staff Unaffected
BOSTON, MA – 94 minutes into what was a routine total knee arthroplasty, Dr. James Nairbear suddenly felt lightheaded and fell backwards landing in the arms of OR Nurse D’nica Gurley. Nairbear was...
Orthopedic Surgeon Creates a Cyborg by Mistake After Replacing Every Joint in the Body
“It wasn’t till my 80-year-old patient told me, 'Hasta la vista, baby,' that I realized that she has been turned into a T-810 by mistake,” told Dr. Bonehead to a GomerBlog representative.
“What was I...
Da Vinci on Quest to Rescue Princess Toadstool
WORLD 2-4, MUSHROOM KINGDOM - We have just received word that the Da Vinci Surgical Robot has embarked on a quest to save Princess Toadstool, as Super Mario remains in tough condition after a...
Breaking News: 10 Bucks Says an Orthopod Drives This Car with a Skeleton Hanging...
PITTSBURGH, PA - Okay, okay, breaking news into Gomerblog headquarters: a yellow convertible had just been spotted in Point State Park with a miniature skeleton dangling from the rearview mirror. Ten bucks says this car...
Wuhan Virus Lab intern drank Coronavirus vials instead of Corona beer
WUHAN, CHINA - Chinese officials just released footage that show a Wuhan Virus Lab intern pounding vial after vial of Coronavirus instead of his Corona Beer. "You can tell by the footage, here and...
Surgeon Performs In-Utero Tommy John Surgery
KANSAS CITY – A surgeon in Kansas City reports he has performed the world’s first in-utero Tommy John surgery. A hospital spokesperson states that the elbow and the mother are doing well.
“A majority of ulnar...
Most Popular Medical Questions of 2016 by State
2016 is complete, and we combed through the data at Google to find out what were the most popular medical questions asked by state (click the map to enlarge):
What is New England's obsession with...
Ortho Consults Medicine to See if It’s Spelled Orthopedics or Orthopaedics
BOSTON, MA - Unable to settle a decades-long debate amongst themselves, orthopods at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) have swallowed their pride and consulted their internal medicine colleagues to help them spell their speciality: is...