Orthopedics

sheep

Forget Sheep: Orthopod Counts Bones to Fall Asleep Each Night

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MUSCLE SHOALS, AL - Calling the domesticated ruminant animal too soft and fluffy for her liking, area orthopedic surgeon Dr. Tracey Hammerhead prefers counting bones to sheep to help her fall asleep each and...
peyton manning

Peyton Manning No Longer Has The Arm Strength to Deliver Papa John’s Pizzas

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DENVER, CO - According to Denver Broncos team doctors, aging 39-year-old quarterback Peyton Manning’s arm strength has significantly diminished to the point where he can no longer deliver Papa John’s pizzas. “Peyton is throwing more...

Trump Unites Us All with Plan to Build Wall Around Hospitals, Prevent Admissions

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CLEVELAND, OH - In front of supporters at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump has unified not only the Republican Party but also Americans, in particular health care providers, as he announced his plan...
orthopedic surgery kid

Breaking: Ummm Yeah, Fifty Bucks Says This Kid’s Going into Ortho

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MIAMI, FL - Without waiting to see how his prepubescent, teenage, or even college years pan out, Gomerblog is already going to call it: fifty bucks says this kid's going into Orthopedic Surgery. "I mean, he's what six?"...
Brie Hammersley complete blood loss

Women to be recruited into ortho with promise of no line for bathroom

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The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons has begun a new campaign to entice women to enter a career in orthopaedic surgery. Dr. David Bonaparte, diversity coordinator for the AAOS, believes the new campaign will...