Jealous of Surgeons’ Da Vinci, Anesthesia Demands Robot of Their Own
KEARNEY, NE - Growing increasingly dissatisfied with the benefits of a automaton and robotics enjoyed by their colleagues on the other side of the drape, local anesthesiologists at Kind Samaritan Hospital are demanding that...
Area Doctor Now Apologizes Before Every Consult
MARKERSBURG, TN - Dr. Lois Siento thinks she has the key to improving relationships between primary teams and consultants.
"It's simple," she explains. "We give consultant business. Consultants like to get cases from us that...
Breaking: Potato Sees Ophthalmologist for Yearly Eye Exam
BOISE, ID - America's favorite vegetable, the potato, went for its yearly exam today. "Its five eyes continue to be in good health with perfect 20/20 vision," said spud ophthalmologist Dr. George Lemer with his...
Five-Second Rule Validated in the Operating Room
CHICAGO, IL - In a paradigm shift for the operating room, a new study has found that reusing instruments dropped on the operating room floor does not increase the incidence of post-operative infections, so...
Revised ASA Classification Tells You When to Lawyer Up
An expert panel comprised of ambulance chasing, blood sucking lawyers and that one snotty dude from med school published a revised ASA physical status classification this afternoon to reflect the increasingly litigious landscape of...
Orthopod Places Intramedullary Nail Into Medulla Oblongata
ANN ARBOR, MI - Expanding the possibilities of what can be done in the subspecialty of orthopedic surgery, orthopod Brock Hammersley has placed an intramedullary nail (IMN) into his patient's medulla oblongata in order...
United Airlines Introduces Seats That Go Into Trendelenburg
CHICAGO, IL - Seeking new ways to remain controversial and constantly in the news, United Airlines has announced it is has replaced passenger seats with brand new seats that go all the way into...
So Much for Denuclearization: Korean Leaders Pledge “Enucleation,” Ophtho Consulted
KOREAN PENINSULA - Though the goal for both North Korean leader Kim Jung Un and South Korean leader Moon Jae-in was for peace and a nuclear-free Korean Peninsula, careful reading of the April 27...
Study: Hopscotch Leading Cause of Hip Fractures in Elderly
BOSTON, MA - A byproduct of the children's game that has become an inexplicable epidemic among our baby boomers, a study newly published in the New England Journal of Bones has once again named...
Warning: Ortho Has a Bone to Pick with You
RALEIGH, NC - Gomerblog just wants to give you a heads up: Ortho has a bone to pick with you. It's unclear what bone they will pick since there are so many to choose...