The Difference Between a Pianist and a Penis
In this series, Gomerblog delves deep into two things often mistaken for one another and helps sort out their differences in order to help us become better health care professionals and people. Tonight,...
ENT Docs Vote Unanimously to Drop the Nose, Will Only Treat Ear & Throat
ALEXANDRIA, VA—In a move that has left many speechless, the board of directors of the American Academy of Otolaryngology (AAO) voted unanimously today to drop the nose, declaring it is no longer interested in...
Unprepared Patient Cramming for Tomorrow’s Rectal Exam
AUBURN, AL - Forever the procrastinator, nervous and unprepared patient Johnny Sanders has started cramming for tomorrow's rectal exam in the hopes he can pass.
"This happens to me every time!" Sanders frantically tells...
Badass Surgeon Performs Whipple While in Tuxedo
AUSTIN, TX - The bar for badassery has been raised a notch, so surgeons take note: veteran general surgeon Bob Cooper has just completed a successful 8-hour Whipple (or pancreaticoduodenectomy) while wearing a tuxedo....
Orthopods Reclassified as Bromo Sapiens
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In their first update in nearly two years, the American Taxonomy Society (ATS) has placed arthropods under their own genus, formally renaming them Bromo sapiens.
"There's no doubt if Carl Linnaeus was...
Study: Reason For 100% of Mandible Fractures Clear After Meeting Patient
The latest study from the Journal of Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery has confirmed the clinical gestalt of thousands of emergency physicians:
If a patient has a broken mandible, you will know within minutes — sometimes seconds, of...
Concerned Podiatrist Probes Foot Ulcer Down to Aorta
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Initially concerned a diabetic foot ulcer might in fact be osteomyelitis, podiatrist Alice Short not only successfully probed the ulcer down to bone but actually all the way down to...
Patient Undergoes Successful Prophylactic Cardiac Resection
NASHVILLE, TN - A patient has undergone successful prophylactic cardiac resection at Nashville Medical Center today in a “very proactive effort" to mitigate any future chance of developing cardiovascular disease, Gomerblog reports.
Cardiac resection is...
Northeast Hospital the First to Institute Eyebrow Covers
A recent change in the rules governing the role of hair coverage has caused a frenzy among all surgical staff. Whereas before, a bouffant cap and a mask were sufficient, now a plethora of...
Struggling Hospital Converts Idle Operating Rooms Into Escape Rooms on Weekend
SPRINGFIELD, NJ—One of the most popular new forms of entertainment may be coming to a hospital near you. In an effort to make more money, struggling hospitals are converting their idle operating rooms into...