Neurosurgeon Replaced by 4th Year Medical Student due to Massive Number of Research Publications
An attending neurosurgeon in central Ohio was replaced by a fourth-year medical student due to research production. MS4 End O’Scopit was interviewing for a spot in a neurological surgery residency program when the chair...
Scooter Harvest Ride for Organ Donation
NASHVILLE, TN--The United Network for Organ Sharing announced today plans to unroll 500 dockless electric scooters for ride sharing purposes in major metropolitan cities that have robust transplant programs. This new brand, Harvest Ride,...
DIY Appendectomy Kit Now Available
With surgeons’ schedules increasingly filled, a DIY appendectomy kit has been created to save both patients' and doctors' time.
“Appendectomies are really easy,” said general surgeon and the kit's inventor, Dr. Gregory Smith. “I’m wasting...
Manhattan Clam Chowder Mistaken For Bloody Emesis
New York, NY- In a case of understandable confusion, a bowl of uneaten Manhattan Clam Chowder was mistaken for bloody emesis at Columbia University Hospital today.
General Surgery intern Toomani Hashtagues walked into the room...
Hospital for Special Surgery Admits to not Being “That Special”
New York, NY- In an official announcement of something that has been known in ortho circles for quite some time, the Hospital for Special Surgery in NYC announced today that the hospital isn’t really...
Op Note: ‘Successful Despite Complete Blood Loss’
BIRMINGHAM, AL - With the exception of complete and total blood loss, today's routine total left hip arthroplasty was a resounding success devoid of complications, according to orthopedic surgeon Brie Hammersley.
"We're pleased to...
Surgical Residency disassembled after Intern fills out ACGME survey
On Monday, 40 surgical residents from the prestigious Hospital for Ultimate Surgery found themselves without a job due to their fellow intern’s ACGME survey. Every year, the academic head of medical education, ACGME, conducts...
Resident Wins Extra Shift for Violating Duty Hours
Tampa, FL - Calling the eighty hour work week “non-negotiable”, local Program Director Tom Keen was not pleased to learn that one of his Senior Residents had consistently logged between ninety and one hundred...
BREAKING: Ortho Intern is First Hospital Employee to Actually Enjoy Joint Commission Visit
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Hospital administrators are up in arms due to Joint Commission complaints that ortho intern, Seth Sholderson, is impeding the Commission’s ability to complete a comprehensive hospital review.
One administrator commented, “Usually we...
ED Consults Vascular Surgery for “Pulseless Foot” on a Pulseless Human
Saint Louis, MO - Mr. James Rice originally presented to the John L. McClellan Memorial Veterans Hospital in Saint Louis with shortness of breath last Tuesday, but he was found to have a pulseless...