Barium Enema Reveals Abnormal Presence of Barium in the Colon
NEW YORK, NY - An inpatient medical team was shocked to learn that a barium enema performed earlier today revealed an abnormal presence of barium in their patient's rectum, something no one expected.
"Good...
The Difference Between A G-Tube & The G-Spot
GomerBlog returns to help distinguish between two similar but often confused entities.
The "G" in G-tube refers to "gastric" or "gastrostomy." A G-tube is a type of feeding tube in which a tube is...
Pioneering Surgeon Performs World’s First Open Laparoscopy
BOSTON, MA - A major breakthrough took place today as a general surgeon at the Massachusetts Generalizable Hospital performed and successfully completed the world's first open laparoscopy.
"Today is a milestone day for the field...
Vascular Converts Infected BKA Into Above-the-Nipples Amputation
PORTLAND, OR - As a means of source control for a patient in severe sepsis, a Portland-based vascular surgeon has played it safe by converting an infected below-the-knee amputation (BKA) into an above-the-nipples amputation...
Sign Out: Patient Just Needs a Little TLC
ATLANTA, GA - A patient is transferring out of the medical intensive care unit today and, according to the MICU team, "just needs a little TLC" before being discharged home.
"Say no more," said hospitalist...
New Incentivized Spirometers to Pay $50 Per Deep Breath
ATLANTA, GA – In an effort to better encourage patients to do their breathing exercises, a newly-designed incentivized spirometer will pay patients $50 per deep breath - that's right: cold, hard, cash - including...
Breaking: Gastroenterologist Thinks Patient is Full of Sh*t
COOKEVILLE, TN - A local gastroenterologist by the name of Baxter Jones completely shocked patient Mason Watts and his family when he flat out told them that Watts was simply full of sh*t.
"He told...
NAPA Auto Now Selling Body Parts
ATLANTA, GA - The National Automotive Parts Association (NAPA), which is better known as NAPA Auto Parts, is expanding its business to include the distribution & sale of human body parts.
This is great news...
Med Student Struggling to Fit C-Collar onto Woman’s Cervix
BALTIMORE, MD - A first-year medical student at The Hoppin’ Johns University is struggling to place a woman's cervix into a C-collar this morning.
"You plan to do what with that?" asked patient Heather Hansard,...
Op Note Just a Link to YouTube Video
In what is being dubbed an inevitable merger of modern-day technology with modern-day lethargy, surgical innovator Dr. Theo Knapp’s operative dictation for yesterday’s cholecystectomy is nothing more than a hyperlink to a YouTube video...