George Washington: ‘I Cannot Tell a Lie… Anesthesia Cut Down the Cherry Tree’
MOUNT VERNON, VA - New historical notes and rough drafts by Mason Locke Weemes, who helped write the first autobiography about George Washington, suggest that the famous cherry tree anecdote has been told...
US Men’s Soccer Team Blames Loss to Trinidad On Anesthesia
COUVA, TRINIDAD - The US Men’s National Soccer Team sustained the most disappointing loss in Team history losing to Trinidad and Tobago eliminating them from the 2018 World Cup.
USMNT Coach Bruce Arena was quite...
Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies
ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency." They are coming off of their latest controversy where a flight attendant wouldn't believe a female African-American...
ASA Admits NPO Guidelines are Entirely Arbitrary
San Diego, CA- In a move that shocked surgeons and anesthesiologists alike, the American Society of Anesthesia announced today that their NPO guidelines are completely baseless.
Anesthesiologists Cannot Find Reason to Cancel Case Right Before Shift Change
SPOKANE, WA – In a stunning development, believed to be the first of its kind here at Southern Spokane University Hospital, a patient is currently being brought into the OR without a single word...
Warren Beatty, La La Land Blame Oscar Best Picture Mix-Up on Anesthesia
HOLLYWOOD, CA - In a stunning and unprecedented finish to the Oscars last night, presenters Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway had announced "La La Land" as winner of Best Picture. But during the "La La...
Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory
DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine. This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals nationwide.
Protamine comes from the sperm of salmon. At the largest...
Santa Claus In Serious Condition After Chimney Incident & Sleep Apnea Complications
THE NORTH POLE - GomerBlog can confirm that Santa Claus is recovering, but remains in serious condition, at North Pole Community Hospital after an incident when he became wedged in a chimney at his multi-million-dollar practice...
Surgeon Uses da Vinci Robot to Craft the Perfect Ham and Cheese Sandwich
CLEVELAND, OH - After finishing up his cases for the day, an oncological surgeon brought sandwich supplies with him to a vacant operating room and began setting up a sterile field. "I’ve always wanted...
Why Do Anesthesiologists Really Put Up That Drape in the OR?
Life is full of great mysteries: Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Why is Donald Trump running for president? Is normal saline normal? But here’s the greatest mystery of all: Why do anesthesiologists really...
