used speculum tongue depressor

CDC: Stop Using Purulent Speculums as Tongue Depressors

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ATLANTA, GA - Disturbed by a surge in case reports driven by medical providers who are either short on equipment or just extremely lazy,...
signed off sign off

Jealous of All the Consultants Who Signed Off, Primary Team Decides to Sign Off...

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KNOXVILLE, TN - After numerous consultants signed off of the case due to the patient's improving clinical condition, the primary inpatient internal medicine team...

IM Doc Goes on Fishing Trip, Plans to Get Rheum on Board

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CHARLESTON, SC - Local Internal Medicine physician Randy Kitts was headed out on a fishing trip Saturday when he realized before he set course...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Confused Michael Flynn Requests Immunity from CDC, Immunizations from Senate Intelligence Committee

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Several health care and congressional sources have informed Gomerblog that they believe former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn is very confused and perhaps altered,...

April Fools! This Nurse Was Assigned Only 1 New Admit, Turns Out It Was...

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SACRAMENTO, CA - When Nurse Shannon came to work today, she was assigned to only one admit.  "Are we slow?" Shannon thought as to...
heparin bridge

Atlanta Uses Heparin Bridge for Collapsed, Subtherapeutic Part of I-85

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ATLANTA, GA - Nearly 24 hours after a massive fire engulfed and collapsed a section of I-85 Northbound near Piedmont Road, rendering it subtherapeutic and...
charting more charting meaning of life

Scientists, Spiritual Leaders Unlock Meaning of Life: Charting, More Charting

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AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS - A week-long meeting of the world's leading scientists, scholars, and spiritual leaders at The Hague has culminated in a solution to mankind's...
Doctors Day

Happy Doctors’ Day: Doctors Being Sent Home, Will Be ‘Not On Call, Not Available’...

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WASHINGTON, DC - In an annual holiday thrown by health care systems to celebrate the contributions of physicians and publicly acknowledge that they "look...

Milli Vanilli No Longer Blames It on the Rain, Blames Anesthesia Instead

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MUNICH, GERMANY - German R&B group Milli Vanilli is back in the spotlight.  After decades of purporting the theory that we should just "blame...
favorite sleeping positions

Which is Your Favorite Position to Guarantee a Good Night’s Sleep?

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As for us at Gomerblog, it's split between the standing and knee-chest positions.  That's like choosing which twin you love!  In our opinion, there's...