Emergency Medicine

medical consult

What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 1

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Initial consult notes usually end with the following line: Thank you for the interesting consult.  What does that really mean?  In the first of a two-part series, our GomerBlog translators will help break down...
confused doctor

Patient’s Pregnancy Test Positive Despite Denying Sexual Activity; Obstetricians Baffled

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A 15-lead ECG, two X-rays, an ultrasound, a full-body CT, an MRI with gadolinium, and still, a mystery. “It’s perplexing, that’s for sure,” said Dr. Jouseph Wong, senior obstetrician.  Dr. Wong and his colleagues have been...
rollercoaster

Local ED to Offer Six Flags-Inspired ‘Flash Passes’ to Skip Long Lines

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GRAIN VALLEY, MO – In an attempt to boost revenue and cut waiting times, a local Missouri emergency department is beta testing a program that would allow ER patients to purchase theme park-esque "speed...
dilaudid graph

Study: Dilaudid Administration Directly Correlates with High Patient Satisfaction; Narcan Not So Much

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BOSTON, MA - As many doctors and nurses have discovered the hard way, a recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine elucidated the seemingly perfect linear relationship with Dilaudid administration and...
pinecones

Wilderness Medicine Residency Approved by ACGME, Offers to Pay Trainees in Pine Cones

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BURLINGTON, VT - Enter the profession of wilderness medicine – every closeted survivalist’s dream come true and a quaint throwback to an era where it was socially acceptable to drink pine tar and turpentine to treat...
emergency physician

15 Ways to Confuse, Demoralize, and Frustrate Your Emergency Physician

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When you are a patient in a busy ED, getting your doctor’s best effort in caring for you can be difficult.  Most ED physicians only have a couple of minutes to obtain their history...
eject button

New “Eject” Button Expedites ED Discharges

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HARTFORD, CT - In a stunning combination of social work finesse and aeronautical engineering, one local hospital’s ED has patented the first "Eject" button in medical history. This progressive move spawned from a previously-explored Quality...
easter egg hunt human orifices

Record Number of Drug Seekers Expected for Annual Easter Dilaudid Hunt

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BALDWIN, NY - The Easter Dilaudid Hunt at Baldwin Medical Center (BMC) is going all out.  This weekend, 30,000 drug seekers are expected to show up for a chance to find 1 of 5...

True Allergy Detector, Maling-o-Vision, Now Available for Google Glass‏

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MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - In response to an unprecedented epidemic of claimed non-narcotic pain medication allergies among patients with chronic pain conditions, Google has teamed up with local EDs to roll out a novel...
nurses laughing

April Fools’ Day Jokes to Play at the Hospital

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Top April Fools’ jokes to play at the hospital.  It isn't too late to try and pull off that sweet joke at work. Anesthesia – After giving your coworker a morning break during a prone IV...